I feel so dead
For reasons I have left unsaid
I feel like there is no blood pumping through my veins
On my heart there are stains 
See I have loved but I have also lost
But now keeping myself from loving, liking 
or even crushing is a bigger cost
Than any crack in my heart I have ever felt
For me there has been two cards dealt
The first is keep loving and keep getting hurt
The second is stop loving and be a piece of dead wood
Like never go for love even though inside I feel I should
And while lately I have picked the second
My soul feels like my choice is wrong
I have realize I am hurting because a lost of passion
I can't feel anytihng for anyone in any kind of fashion
I realize that i am only 15
But not to even have a crush?
Not even when I see that certain person I start to blush
Well that's more than I can handle
Cuz at my age pain is only so expandable
I know I am afraid to love or even like 
But i know I better start will soon
Because I feel my heart is about to strike
I want to feel again 
I don't even want to be loved just to be cared about
And i will do the lovin
I want the love
I want the pain
I want all the things feelings contain
I can't take being dead anymore
I can't take people being so rich in love
While I stand here being poor 
It's not envy
It's just need
For a pain to feel
For a pain to breathe