Kenneth, Alison, Phillipa, Joan, William, Judy, Audrey, John and Limp Bizkit, had been whinging all day because Mr Jimmi White had urinated on there sarbos in a fit of pre-adolecant rage, due to his reluctance to piss on his bitch! This resulted in my fat old cow being fluctuated between point zero and a friendly fish. Can i have some more please asked cheggers, i'd log on your soup anyday Mr. Les Dennis was NOT impressed. But he was however dressed in strapon nipples, they make Lesley feel rough and tumble see. Lesley Denise` looked up to Gary Wilmot and said" we are still bezzys arn`t we wilmo" wilmo spat,barfed,sweat,cum,perioded,ear waxed and clemmed on les then said "bound to be though" this made les angry so he called gary an idiot,stamped his feet and took his ball home. A lonely squirrel had been watching all the comotion and decided to come up with a cunning plan. The squirrel did come up with a cunning plan and my oh my did it work a treat. When les got home he tore of his slightly bodily fluidated strapon nips and rang gary`s mam, "RING RING" said garys mam "RING RING BBBRRRRRRRR FFFFRRRRTTTTT" she said. Les thought this was strange so he hung up and said" whats the point, yea sos gary wilmots mam" then suddenly les made a cup of tea and had a biscuit and done his washing and dried his hair and went to the shops and trimmed his tash`n`goatie. "I feel the real deal" said chopsy little lesley as he tiptoed into the job centre," so what do you have for me today" said les to a smelly motionless twat behind a commie pretending to do somthing. " aaahh our les, well as a matter of fact ive got a lovely job for you to do"it said. "RRREEEEAAALY" les spat and came with all the exitment." Yyyes its working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, the bar is called the wesley night club and on entry you get a free wank off caprice, sporting a replica Jeremy Beadle claw hand. If you have NUS you can flick shit off a flexible carbon fibre rod onto the old fanny who presents wipeout on a morning. Things have happened at this nightclub, ie it used to belong to an amazing man called baz who wore shellsuits and got head scrubbed for fun. Suddenly Craig 'Bizza' Barrel Birrel walked in. "I'm proper gay" he exclaimed i like to get my chebs wrapped in newspaper of a gook n salt n vingar poured all over them and then charge me up straight from the pylon that they tap their leccy from, then they put my head in a tube and put lizards and snakes and biros in it and I go HAAAA Ya ya ya ya ya iiiieee it gives me an enormous sense of rectal burning, Suddenly there was a big bang and the universe was created! this came as a shock to the cleveland cuntstabulary chief of bebwynes and he ordered all pig farmers to pop into their local bingo hall for a chat and a slice of creasote! obviously this made colin mcrae desperate for the toilet which had in the past, been overlooked and somewhat pushed aside, so colin got into his capri laser 9 exhausts machine and set sail for high clarence where he could find a warm moist corner to rest his aching feet! this may seem a little strange but the reality is a different kettle of fish, a whole new ball game, a new overturned leaf and all of this makes it *** WOW, Suddenly a side flash caught pat sharpe right in the eye ball tearing it from him and making him scream "ayaz me eyeballs gone off and stared in the leading role of a fish acalled wanda." this lead to me becoming one of the worlds first trike-riddled-lunatic. hence the way i brush my fine locks of pretend masionary drill bits accross the crowded dancefloor of what seems to be a secondry hatch. Can any one find me some fake weelie bin pornos for my fiance, shes only got one arm but i really love her and want you guys to all accept her for what she is, don't call her a downy she's sound man, she's really clever besides she gettin a permenant wank hand put on her stub suddenly Tessa Sanderson fell off her minge "ere get up ya fat cow" shouted Fatima Whitbread, she too had been spotted early that day suckling on some frozen carpet underlay whilst slowly rubbing an old ash tray against her right ventricle.

Still nursing his wounded Jap eye, Kev Race noticed a lump in his left tessy. Belinda Carlisle flegged on it and pondered on what race Kev Race actually was. Skeletor had the answer, he let rip a massive bum trump and shouted

Still nursing his wounded Jap eye, Kev Race noticed a lump in his left tessy. Belinda Carlisle flegged on it and pondered on what race Kev Race actually was. Skeletor had the answer, he let rip a massive bum trump and shouted "Fuck off ya spakka how can ya stutter a whole fuckin sentence." Suddenly Kev Races lapish girlfriend ran in with their lapish child, i hope they have a lapish future the pair of stinking arse bush pigs said Vicky Dernian as she flicked her clit over Joel from Neighbours. Biggest clit in redcar this, she exclaimed!

But then her clit exploded and it had to be replaced with a chewed wotsit. It bounced a bit and rolled around, Mr race said that this wa all a lot of old nothing and he assured all of us that he was infact female! I didn`t know how to react to this so quickly i shot under the airhockey table and made pig noises in Mr race`s direction, The crowd roared and i was awarded the FA cup. But After a few weeks the damn things only grow back again.You can see here how the penis is enlarging due to the increase in blood flow along the bass. It could have been trapped wind but in situations like this its difficult to ignore. A strict example of how to inncorectly use your new friend. so if you or a friend are encountering problems like this, call "i think im gay but my dad will hurt me" on 01642 999,where you can be put down safley with less fuss. You cheeky monkey thats rape and murder that you know, eeeeh i dont know, you take after you father you little tinker. so a sparked mr race full wack in the gob n forced a kebeb up his arse, sent his goblin wife up there chewed on his nasel piece and laughed at his expence, This made my day which was quite funny because before that i`d just been pushing burgers up white house road with my chin, then out the blue the whole of Scarbrough came over to me in a humongous wheelbarrow they began throwing squids and various other sea life creatures at me, i was very dissapointed so i went round to Larry Laddered Tights house. It's always the best place to go when you feel bewildered and bedazzled (unless of course it's not). Anyway though. Right. Natasha Nipple Tash was round at Larry's house and she suggested that the best thing to do would be to go to Billngham Motor's and let off some fill my BMX tyres with free air until they popped. So I did. It wasn't until they had popped that I realised that I wouldn't be able to go over the BMXie tonight and burn some pakki's unless I got me flatty sorted out, then I remembered i had left the bath water running at home, boy was my face red when i arrived home to find all my family had drowned, so i phoned up Ian Beal and Matthew Kelly they came round and we all skull fucked my dead relatives. Later on that night, I was watchin 'stenders with Wyclef Jean and Dot flashed er mot. This had come as no suprise cos Clef reckons he'd seen Pat jerkin Roy off earlier on. I can't be arsed with crap like that me like, can you? All of a sudden a black hole was created and the whole the cast of east endaests was suckekd into my arsehole like a birthfh on screaminf heat devil bitch fiuck you stuip[f fascuist pid fuk i am the lord of space and time and if you call me mam a fuckind sslald gf arsey fukas a'll nak yaz!! but then all of a suoddenz aq fduken saw fdly an a new tht w all nooor whot happen ! Anyway i seem to have digressed slightly from my main objective which as you are all aware was to turn my chin inside out and try flipping any pastry products into a desired shape, with a little help from Vas O'leen, my close female friend, i achieved full recognition of my wonderful achievement then right out of the blue Martin Whitehouse turned up with John Whitehead Park on his bonce. "Hey everybody why not play on the swings or empty one of the bins because today i own John Whitehead Park!" exclaimed a proud Spunk Nut. After that he went home to change his tammy. Later that evening i was awoke by a blind girl claiming that i had stole her eyes. "Why would i want your eyes when i have perfect 20 / 20 vision ya fucking fat bitch fuck off now or face the consequences". She said i hurt her feelings but all i wanted was my Golden Grahams back. Anyway i found her eyes in a used toilet roll in the fridge, i apologised and explained that it was actually her ears that i wanted so i could put them in an old biscuit tin and roll them down wolvo hill. "Me scabs are itchy" shouted Mikey Evans, "Me fuckin ARCO scabs are itchin like fuck man"

"Ronan Keating was a butcher too, yes he was, ner ner ner." shouted Carmen Electra at the top of her voice. She began teasing her clitoris with an old sock, slowly but surely she became the wettest minge carrier this side of Scarbrough fair. Then all of a sudden she woke up covered in dew drops and wasp plops, she had obviously fell asleep in the old mans courtyard outside the Astronaut over the town. Adam Price had a swollon colon that just kept expanding in a northernly direction, submission to the pain would lead to an outburst of Richard and judy fever. He quickly ran down the road until he came to a vast open field surrounded by marvalous imitation leather couches, "this is incredible" cried Adam, and the evil ogre was defeated, as he looked over his shoulder he observed chapstick elastic plasterer who said "Fair dinkum ya flamin mongrall! Dont let me put you off breast feeding that baby crocodile." So the elastic chaffed lipped plasterer left with a flick of his spleen and a thrusty leg flick! Adam didn`t even like him any way, but benno did and he was ever so upset!He began to sweat at an alarming rate, "help" he screamed to Adam, "you must go out and summon the twelve stone of Guspapanskanty, near Greathem, when you have the stone bring it to me or i will be left with nothing but a pile of H2O and carbon" Adam just said "i cant be arsed" and hopped on his penny farthing And instantl'y broke the sound barrier! A sonic boom was thrust upon the perspiring remains of Benno which helped reform his carbonic structure! However a few glitches were instantly noticable, his arms had been replaced with those of alf stewarts,the warped ginger fur twisted around his whole body, upon closer inspection you could see that benno was actually extremley pleased with his new attire! he thought of a cunning plan to try and take over summer bay and spend the rest of his life fishing with dunc,he needed a bag of peanuts, some tootti fruities, some parsnips in mustard sauce, a six pack of Scorpion super strength and a chinese mans eyebrow. Wesley Snipes scoffed at bennos plan but it was quite clear by his defensive body language that he was definetly envious of his turn ups. Steps came over and said "we arn't that shit really we do mime and don't write or owt but we do sort of dance alright, we can dance better than you and we know that you liked tradigy!" Suddenly they all tripped over and died and burned and were eaten by there familys, but dobsy brought them back to life to fight them, he later bragged and exagerated the whole incident down the pub later that evening

"yeah me n our cousin just sowed a tenner in the gambler then fuckin lashed steps"

In actual fact a police file indicated that Dobsy got beat up by the gay one, he wasn't with his cousin and had just scratched his nuckles on the wall outside to convince people of his victory.

Zoe Ball Bearings and Alan Partridge In A Pear Tree were observing this incident and came to the conclusion that not all blind folk are convincing, to back this up they had seen two blind folk down the arcades playing a footy game and one of them kept commenting on how much the computer generated Beckham actually looked like the real thing. Zoe BB and Alan PIAPT had also been discussing, once i woz woken up like aN ME 'AGF THUIS KIJKE FOURTEEN INCH LONG SUPER HARD MORNING PISS BONER . BUT BEIENG THE LOLRD OF SPAC AND TIME LIKE WEN A FUKIM THORT ABOOT IT A BLEW A FEW GACKSIS AWAY LIKE .SO ANEWAY ME AN DJ MR MIKE WOZ KICKIN DOWN AT THE LOKAL TH' OTHA DAY SO A SED SKREW THIS LETS FUKIN BOMB SUMONE HE SED YEH SO WE DID BYE1. FULL STOP AS THOOOUGH THEN I GRABBED HOLD OF HIS YELLOW QWERTY KEYBOARD AND THEN HIS MAM BARFED ALL OVER HIS BARBADOS GET YOUR NIPPLE HAWAII ONION BHAJI CRUMPET KILROY GERROF US YA DAFT CUNT HOWS YA MAM'S FANNY WHEN IT LEAKS LIKE BILLIE BECK AND THEN CHRIS EVAns BUMMED YOUR DAD WITH HIS GINGER GINGER GINFER GINHER GUITNER FGERKD GINHER GHDTEER VDFGERE GFHFYF VODKA DASA GFGFGF GHFGHGUYTU GINGER AS FUCK ME LIKE RERS DHDH SGSG PRESS ONIION DOR sa d jvjv my name';s doreen for a tongue job on craig birrel but only if you get your BUSSY OUT ME LIKE OH YEH OH YEH So once Zoe BB and Alan PIAPT had stopped talking shit, Mike B came along and blasted every muther fucker that was in the way (including Dobsy). Everything was going great until someone let rip and everyone felt totally sick....it was the smell of fried eggs and sunday lunch cabbage that made Zoe BB vomit allover Alan PIAPT knee beard. The sun started to come out and it was then realised that Billingham Folky Festival was on the way...another time to rejoice with our friends from Pakistan and Tunisia. So i popped over the town wiv me bezzys and nicked into stockton billog college to perv on the folklorians gettin the first and only shower they ever had. Dobsy woz allready there though on tac n booze. he seemed to be gettin a bit chopsy with the greek morris dancers so they made him pick the soap up from the plughole.(with his teeth) Then dobsy got the ball n ran up the left wing, flanked the defender and finally with pin point presicion nutmeged the keeper. The keeper wasin actual fact Mikey Evwine, however he had disguised himself as Tad from neighbours, the gay cheb. Suddenly Libby and Drew appeared, Drew's penis had fell off and Libby had lost her minge "Help us find our genitals Evwine" cried Libby the ugly bitch. Drew fingered his own arse in the corner then Michael J. Fox turned up, turned into a teen wolf, and went Back to the Future. He didnt realise he had just side swiped ricky martin. Evwine span around and changed into a Kappa tracksuit, so Libby put him on, "Look Drew" cried libby "Evwine makes a lovely Tracky", drew was secretly envious. "Lost me fuckin arm bands again though avent i" he shouted, slaverring all over the place. His mam knacked him for not wearing his mong helmet, so he threw a radgy and broke the wheelchair lift on the back of the bus. Spasmo. "ERE, you wanna buy some chewy?" shouted Evwine at the top of his little gay lungs. " me fuckin crabs are given me jip again". Soft Cunt. "Your only jealous anyway evwine" shouted beno."Its not my fault our lass has got a set ov balls on her back". Gay flange. "Yeah Yeah" said benno to Evwine, then he spun round and fly kicked him in the face. "How do you like them apples Evwine" shouted benno, evwine changed his nappy "Am class me" said Benno, everybody agreed. "right am off to play with our lass's back balls" benno legged it, Evwine cried. Without any warning a giant fuckin crimbo tree burst in and started staring at everybody, everybody stayed silent and shit it coz the tree was covered in tinsle. So Evwine filled his boxers with an assortment of pastry products including a cornish pasty that was best before tuesday, it was now wednesday and evwine ate it anyway the fat cunt choddy bastard. Sick he was, yes sick everywhere, from the pasty bacteria. Shouldn't have gone to greggs at sunderland like ya naa, rammy as in there like ya naa. Swan chinkees is better like, no fuckin pasty bacteria in there like, just fine women, fine wines, and class eyes....like ya naa.
what u looking at?
a fuckin said what you looking at?
well?
fuckin fanny am gonna bat ya
yeah, what do you want?
Want a piece of me eh?
fuckin shit bag am gonna put brilo pads in ya fuckin lass's gash.