The Site

i read the saddest story yesterday
this guy, alone, had lost his way
missing out on what he loved
forgotten by his God above
too many tears for day or night
too many battles, lost the fight
just too afraid to ask her why
just too confused to let love die
"i wonder if she loves me too
what is there left that i can do
to heal my heart of pain and dread
to end this wonder in my head"
so he sat alone, awake
each new day, ready to break
still too afraid to watch the sun
in it's shadow night had begun
what's the price of hope and love
when angels cry so far above

beneath the clouds of night and gray
all alone the dreams do stay
feeling all hope left aside
feeling crushed by mankind's pride
looking through the smog of pain
drowned out by hail and rain
seems too lonely within the night
seems too empty, no stars in sight
to see the gleam of stars above
to know the joy of life and love
it’s cold beneath the wisps of dreams
and yet so hot it burns and bleeds
desperate for a chance to flee
pleading for the strength to see
shadows move throughout the years
giving pain, bestowing tears
dark with clouds, the future’s bleak
only sunlight heals the weak

technicolor dreams escape me
on wings of starlight
you fade away from memory
you fade away from me
technicolor because of the mismatched
disillusioned images i perceive
because of the falsehoods
the lies
all the times i believed
as if i was ever believed in
where are the falsehoods
when i truly need them
where are the lies
when the truth burns like fire
fire, everlasting and overflowing
engulfing my sanity with anguish
technicolor
when it all fades to gray
so many colors at once
so many in a single shade of gray
allow me to continue
to continue dreaming in gray
let the technicolor be torn from me
shattered from my sight
never again do i want to see
never again do i want to be
never again do i want to
dream
hope
cry
scream
weep
plead
pray
never again do i want to
never again
unless of course
you want to first
admit your technicolor dreams
or perhaps start dreaming them
always in the gray
never here to stay
forever are my
technicolor dreams

emerald life beneath
a surface of oppression
struggle, breath, live
fight your way to the light
fight your way through the night
birth, a gate to a new world
earth, holding back the old
struggle, breath, live
believe in yourself
believe in your dreams
educate yourself in life
forsake the restraints
of the unborn hope
struggle, breath, live
life is not forgotten
hope is not forsaken
resist the urge to die off
resist the craving for hate
embrace your surroundings
embrace your competitors
struggle, breath, live
for life has just begun

distant
distorted by a mile
fading from unlimited sight
distance
a boundary between
what we are
where we should be
life
poised at a
distance
miniscure from afar
yet inticing from afar
image on the horizon
never growing
never slowing
evading our efforts
distance
horizontal shifting
of dreams and stars
fleeing their pursuer
desperate to remain free
free
distant

Twinkle twinkle little star
Doubt even you know what you are
Hanging in the silent night
Drifting away without a fight
Down below the world is dear
Strewn beneath a sky so clear
Little world safe at rest
Trying hard to do your best
Twinkle twinkle little star
Maybe God knows what you are
Perched within the silent night
Drift away without a fight

crawling through this desolate world
of unformed creations
gazing upward forever
into the scorching sun
enticed by the open arms
of an endless sky
climb your ladder of dreams
reach for destiny above the tree tops
embrace your existence
within you isolated cocoon
taste the warmth of change
feel the evolution of your soul
emerge from hiding anew
stand dazed on the brink
of a new life
and take your leap of faith
feel the power beneath you
know the grace of the breeze
traverse the world in your beauty
know love, know hope
most of all know truth
soar high for eternity
eternity is fleeting
feel the disgrace of shattered wings
know the pain of losing dreams
plummet from your new reality
there is no time for tears now
your beauty is broken

Meditation
Inspiration
Free thought
And new sensations
Mystified
Hypnotized
I'm lost within
Your star-filled eyes

Got no strength
Got no time
But what’s the purpose
For these rhymes?
To liberate?
Enunciate?
Eliminate?
And desecrate?
Product of a starless sky
Child of those born to die
What is truth; what is fate?
Who am I to hesitate?
What is pain; what is fear?
Is there sorrow without the tears?
What is hate; what is love?
Shadows cast from far above
What is hope; what is light?
How can I see with faded sight?

i sat, alone staring into the night
pondering the existence of the stars
watching their aura pour out
flooding over the galactic landscape
like a blanket of dreams through time
forgotten dreams
an unused blanket
i sat, continuing my contemplation
wondering if a single star
a single point of everlasting light
could be so lonesome and so afraid
are they emotionless?
eternally denied of feeling
it seems so very, utterly ridiculous
but the stars are so brilliant
so magnificant in the night
i can't help but believe they live
that each luminescent sphere
encases its own soul within
hiding its thoughts and sorrow
just like you or i
i often wonder if they
these silent bestowers of starlight
watch me as i watch them
if they wonder if my loneliness
matches their own
if my heart is falling apart
just as their hearts are torn to pieces
if my heart feels sheer and utter pain
every time i awake to a new day
if i feel the urge to scream
every single time i breath
and still, all i ever wonder
is if that one star is for me
if the glow of that unearthly being
is meant to shine on me
sometimes i feel i will never know
but i must admit
i do love the stars

chilly night with a lonesome breeze
lose my mind beneath the clouds
clear as day but dark as death
blasting through the silent peace
with your living beams of starlight
so deathly quiet you sit
bound to the fog by dreams
through echoing whispers you scream
RENEGADE AGAINST THE WORLD
that's what you are
that is what they call you
the renegade, the different
smile your smirk from the heavens
wreaking there jealous minds
with shots of space and time
glowing firmly through the night
luminate this world dear friend
remove your mask before us all
dance between the stars tonight
lift your arms to embrace the sun
the sun, your mother, your creator
embrace her gaze of golden starlight
echo her love out into the galaxy
magnify the brilliance by ten thousand
then fade away with the stars
as the sun comes to share her own love
mystic is the music of the stars
performed by space's musician of time
the strings of a harp of dreams
touched, plucked, caressed
caressed by the hands of moonlight
shining your song of dreams
through heaven's majestic gates
through the depths of hell's caverns
penetrating each empty soul
with tears of godly silver

falling, shaking, running
breaking beneath my own lack of hope
fever, running sick with dread
running from everything, anywhere
crosses on my hands
tears in my eyes
shaking, panic and apathy alone
caring too much, caring too little
too afraid to admit
that what I'm thinking is true
solitude in a crowded room
anger sadly paired with fear
nervous, so very nervous
shaking, panic and apathy together
feeling the falling dreams
falling from hilltops and trees
ice blue, chill the soul
failing memory, failing determination
sinking into a slump of self-hate
smirking at the jokes of pity
crosses in my eyes
tears on my hands
blood in my mouth
drowning in it all
falling, shaking, burning
burning pain resorts to fear
resorts to hate
resorts to forgiveness and love
boredom and anger mix for pain
come together for mutual disgust
run run, run away
leave the fool behind
presents of dreams fall from clouds
smashing into the ice blue ground
broken broken are the dreams
broken broken are my tears
crosses in the sky
tears in my eyes
blood from my heart
whispers from my lips

all I can do is close it all now
it hurts too much to leave it open
all I can do is close my eyes now
they burn so badly when they're open
all I can do is run away now
screaming to the beat of wings
angels flutter in my head
breaking bones and burning dreams
torched by messengers of life's beauty
broken by my smiles and my laughter
angels flutter far above
losing their wings to the humor
tossing halos to the wind
just to watch them turn and spin
faded black always turns white
losing strength both day and night
metal sliding inch by inch
from the pulsing ground
harden with a mix of pride
listen for the sound
dance between the graves tonight
etched in stone we pray
prayer marked by lack of faith
and lack of faith by prayer
headstones crumble beneath the wings
flutter so high in the clouds
angels angels, fade from black
demons demons, changing back
drop the robes of faded white
grab the garb of gray
fall in-between the lines tonight
and pray you'll always stay
dream the dream of forgotten hope
solidify within
stretch your arms and greet the sun
let the day begin

golden arcs above the clouds
emerald dreams, we wonder how
powered by the gifts of love
restored the strength of above
infinite, yet growing more
only new pain heals the sore
evolve beyond the way of old
breaking through ice blue cold
forget the thoughts and remnants gone
forget the melodies of unsung songs
future's bleak, only time can tell
life is great, when seen from hell
hope and dreams, born again
pride and hate, break the sin
life and live, both are made
pray the words and then I'm saved
sins emerge through fingertips
poison flows from beauty's lips
how did all the evil miss?
it was hidden in the kiss
life is flowing in the veins
only lighting breaks the rain
smiles smash the face of hate
funny how we all relate
you give in and I get through
only anguish heals the true
journey through hell's shattered gates
free and dangerous I defy fate
heaven's streets dot the sky
almost pure for angel eyes
too much loss to give up time
eyes of the heart will aid the blind
dance the dance of dark and night
only shadows bring the light
nothing lost and nothing gained
nothing lost without the pain
jump high above, don't wait to fall
there's only gold above us all
run the blue's got us now
run the red has showed us how
demon hands can close the grip
built so strong, but made to rip
no more blue can hold my hands
no more red to seal the brands
only gold above us all
only gold without my fall
I won't fear another day
not when demons fear my fate
angels war now, sword in hand
shields and weapons, God's command
demon blood to fall below
fight the war of the soul
shed some tears to crack a smile
only saints will walk the mile
weak in front but strong inside
no more time to run and hide
break the mold on earthly dreams
sound will carry hateful screams
castles wait above the trees
sound will carry on the breeze
powered by the gifts of love
restored the strength of far above
golden arcs above the clouds
emerald dreams, we wondered how

in the little house off to the left
dreams do make their stay
in the emerald green, grassy yard
our troubles fade away
on the little doorstep, side by side
we watched our lives float by
through the little door made of wood
we took our steps inside
in the empty hall of pale pale gray
we pushed our way through dreams
on a red rug of clouds and storms
we wondered what it means
little room with bright gold walls
we shut the door to think
golden table, black with paint
we're all pushed to the brink
a little box with lock and key
bathed in cold ice blue
in my smile, a thousand dreams
I hand the key to you
you smile back, with key in hand
yet shaking just a bit
box is there, but are you scared
to risk the prize within

empty room, minus myself
glowing in the dead of night
tick tick tick, busy fingers
communicate through the speed of light
a cable connecting, a single cord
eardrums ringing to the beat
voices emerging from an unseen mouth
the body pulsing with each flash
the heart beats and blood flows
mesmerized by the patterns and tones
one beat, two, three, feel my soul move
too dark to know the real world tonight
only enough light for dreams now
conversations which don't exist
melodies we'll never truly hear
smiling ever-so-softly in the shadows
truth isn't real tonight
we make our own reality now
laughing at the words unsaid
smiling at the secrets never told
isolation paired with freedom
happiness paired with solitude
it's too dark for reality to shine through
there's only enough light for dreams now
empty and hallow I absorb the glow
a gleam of thought for the thoughtless
I sit silent beneath the canopy of black
gazing out at existence, gazing in at fate
all alone, the night can be so beautiful
but only if we no longer fear the dark

embalmed within the sounds of silence
I let myself dangle into death
allow my finger tips to drift
solemnly amidst tides of pain and grief
darkness, so enticing yet so bitter
devouring my form in its warmth
encasing my soul with infinite destruction
I feel so angry within the darkness
but the light is just to frightening
is it not enough to hide away in fear?
not enough to run from it all?
in hopes that I'll never be found
but secretly hoping that I will be
it hurts that I am my own sickness
infecting myself with doubt each day
allowing my heart spread my agony
watching the virus attack my body
a deadly virus of feeling
a deadly feeling of love
when the heart bleeds red
it bleeds drops of love
caught between the folds of light
slipping through the hands of life
dangling inches from death
life is just a dream now
the world of the living is dead
a world of death is life
life of dying dreams
each day, the birth of broken hope
at sunset, the death will die away
the moon will shatter in its bed
plummet lifeless through the stars
the sun, exploding with hope and life
slides between the crevices
light fades from its glowing face
hope abandons, darkness fills the gap
at sunset death will end
darkness will fade away
as darkness draws away, solitude begins
alone without darkness the heart dies
the heart can no longer live in light
the heart can no longer live
when the heart bleeds red
it bleeds drops of love
and when love emerges, drop by drop
the heart will always bleed

desolate stars dancing within a sky of black velvet
crystal tears piercing the surface to plummet to the earth
alone i sit in contemplation
wondering why you cannot be at my side
why i must stand isolated and forgotten
i have not the strength for my journey
i have not the way to proceed
i beg of you, support me in this
aid me with your love, your kiss
alone i sit in contemplation, understanding
i understand the motivation
i understand the necessity
but i cannot understand the acceptability of action
i cannot comprehend tonight
not that i understand the morning either
you think the world is so clear from your eyes
but i cannot see the distorted truth for the haze of words
how am i to know what meaning lies behind fallen curtains
how am i to guess the future by starlight
"when starlight shines so dim
when daylight scars my skin
can i come to know the truth
when all my hope dies in you?"
the words, i whisper to the stars tonight
alone i sit, wondering if somewhere up there
the stars will laugh tonight