Dedicated to My Best Friend, the man of My heart and soul, whom I will always love and miss! To the Dad... Becki, Kristi and Nikki will miss so very much! To the Grandpa Shawnee that his grandkids... Katlin, Christian, Anthony and Brianna will miss very much. To the son that loved and cared for his Mom, Betty. To the stepfather Janis, Rick and Sheree' will miss... and to all He touched with his friendship, compassion, care and love!
Though they were said a hundred times,
The last words you said to me,
Ring out in my head,
Singing a tune, constantly.
The words were sweet and from your heart,
And they rested upon mine,
Gently caressing my inner soul,
The words were, the best kind.
You know exactly how I feel,
Because I tell you every day,
But, those words you said to me last night,
Within my heart, will stay.
A promise, a dream, it doesn’t matter,
What the world might think,
You gave my parched heart, just what it needed,
A special sort of drink.
The words you said to me last night,
There is nothing more that you could do,
Than to speak those words,
I love you.
In Mourning
Remove the soul and the body dies
The loss, the memories the howling cries
Memories live on as long as you allow
Or simply fade despite your vow
Black and white the colors fade
Night and day another crusade
Loss overwhelms; pain so intense
A black void expands, so great and immense
People call it mourning I call it death
The strangling of my heart, the loss of my breath
Now comes the time; tributes and fond farewells
For glory of speech and the mission bells
In time I will heal at least that is what they say
I will go on and live another day
Who picks these numbers as the tickets get punched
A higher force or elements hunch
No matter really no understanding this day
As the love of my life has faded away
M.L. Benton © 2003
My Beloved Ken...
There are not enough words to express My love for You.. just as there are not enough words, that could express the loss I feel.
I remember that first night we met, as if it were yesterday. The way you swept Me off My feet and showed Me that dreams really do come true. For I had only dreamt of a love as true and as powerful as the love we shared.
I often times told you... you casted a spell on Me, instantly capturing My heart and soul... those words are true to this day, this day I face alone physically... but never alone inside.
I don't really know where to begin.... so I'll just ramble. With you... I always felt safe and secure, always knew I was cared for and loved. My family and friends never worried about Me, they could see the happiness and love you gave Me. When I met your family and friends.. in them I saw the same security I felt with you. I could see folks thought a lot about the man inside. You offered everyone honesty, compassion, laughter, joy and love. I see the sadness of loss over an amazing friend in them all today... and the laughter when they look back at all you shared with them. A blessing they will cherish forever.
You used to always tell Me, I didn't deserve the pain and heartache I had grown up with... but in all honesty it was all I knew. Although I had dreamed and hoped for better, it seemed no one believed in honesty and love, the way I did. 'Til that day we met face to face... you put your words into actions. Everything you said... showed in your actions. Something thats been very difficult to see and find these days. I knew instantly, I was safe and secure with you. I knew without a doubt, I had someone that cherished the smaller things in life, as I did.
You held Me close when the nightmares of the past would come crashing through... assuring Me I had nothing to fear, as I battled and overcame them. In your arms, I could conquer the world! You helped Me to gain strength in many ways. I used to always laugh when folks would say "you're such a strong woman"... if they could see those times where I laid curled up in a ball, crying and wishing the past would just disappear. Nights had always been a struggle for Me, which is why I have insomnia so badly. Never had I slept so peacefully, except when I was with you. I know it will be a struggle again... but thanks to Your love... I'm determined to find that peace and strength again. I know I am never alone, I know your arms will be around Me... encouraging Me to face what is to come, and not look back.
I could never thank you enough for the love and joy you brought to Janis. When most men would have looked at her and treated her as baggage and a burden... you lifted her to heights of joy and happiness! You not only accepted her for who she is, you loved her... and she knew that without a doubt. You were the one she would give the most hell to... because she knew it was safe to do so with you, and you'd know she did it with much love.
When I look at your daughters, I see so much of you inside of them. The need to do what is right, the respect they have for everyone, and the need to not want to hurt others, but do good by them. I see the love they have for you, knowing the love you had for them... and nothing is different. When Becki hugged Me and said I'd always have a piece of You through them, because they would not abandon Me, just because you were gone... I could hear your voice in everything she said. She is truly a carbon copy of her Dad!! They are very special to Me, and always will be... they are a part of you, that's true... but they are individuals... each having their own identity and specialness about her. They are going to miss you very much, but I know they will be okay... they hold their dad's strength and love inside... with that, they will rise above all!
Thank you for showing Me that what I had dreamed of all My life, wasn't so much a dream... but reality waiting to happen. Although I will miss you so very much.. I will always be thankful for the time I had with you. Although there is no piece of paper to say we were married... you were My heart and soul... and I was your wife within. I love you so very much Ken! The man of My heart, soul, dreams and love... Im so glad you are where you do not have to suffer the battle of cancer any longer... and although I will miss you, I will climb to the top... and be strong as I promised you I would... with the strength and love you shared with Me... I will be okay, for having been loved by you is more than I could have ever asked for in life... and I got that!!! I love you babe!!
If tears could build a stairway
and memories a lane
I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again.
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