a page for hanna mäkelä

more for you my eternal love and flame and hope

My fears are so real My pain shares this reality Now I know how to end it all But why cant I maybe because I love you so I cant leave you alone in this world All I seem to do I do in tought of you well you are my heart and soul Tough it seems like its love wasted sometimes But when I can make you smile all the pain and fears I have go away Away to a foren place buried beneath the highest mountain Even some of the pain I feel is because of you mostly how because you suffer Some for the reason I cant be your’s well who said medicine would taste good All I strive for is to make your and my world better maybe find a way to hide our pain under the same mountain I hide mine when I see you smile. The love we once shared is it gone? Even tough I tried to hate you it never died now its forever there And the only woman ever who could be whit me is you I lost in passion and love in mind the thing men want most No woman nor girl could ever be whit me again for ever more except you Feels at least good I know where my heart belongs and where it should stay… I know now at least I wont harm myself any further I don’t fear death for any other reason then I am needed and I cant leave you alone. I will anyways burn in hell whit the ones I love are you one of them I cant say yet because of me we have a long life in front of us though it would have ended soon for you The thaught of living whit out you I could not stand… But to say the truth I cannot prevail nor live whitout you Nothing I can achieve whitout you by side I drain of you my life source All I need is a hug maybe a kiss on the cheek can you understand my world is you and so for ever will be… I could take you high into the heavens of your mind I could take you low into the deepest hell Its up to you I only want you to feel good to be comfortable whit your life Thou you have gone trough hell There could be better awaiting. All I want is to make you feel good I feel so sorry for the times I have hurt you in anyway but for the reason the end justifies the meens Please understand I just want to love you and you may do what ever you want just dont deny me I need you caring and affection Its all I have anymore I could have anything but I need you to be there for me my angel That is what you are and angel of salvation and success And I will LOVE YOU FOREVER MORE

new entry in my diary of a mad man mad because of you
Love is fleeting, Yet broken hearts never mend... Joy lasts but a moment in life, But never dies from memory... but as i tasted your blood feeling your soul in mine. tangeling inside, i know more then i should know
but that was never my plan but as i did taste it i know. Misery is a cage, Happiness is the escape... where is the happiness i know exist in my soul i felt something you deny from your self maybe, Death is the end to pleasure. Birth is the beginning of misery... still i love you dreaming and thinking always wishing but you always make the rules and my heart and body follows. wierdly my soul takes its own way
but as long you make the rules for the rest all is ok and that i know the other night the feeling we shared cant be wrong laughter and blood wierder combo cant be found pictures meening more then millions of words pictures of dreams. Dreams unlived keep us striving, Dreams fulfilled signal our end... the end we long for so much might it be the dream has to come true to end this hell for all time and eternity i would sell my soul for my dreams would you? Growing richer with wisdom every passing day knowing i am truly insane.... or am i....?????????am i? i sure hope so
because being Robbed of life with the passing of every hour is the hardest part of life you know my dreams but you newer know my goals goals and dreams never belong together only in wierd sick busssniess books. your the dream, money and power are the goals...
lust and love provides us with hope, Just as hell reins our desires... Happiness maybe ephemeral, But so is our existence...! ! !

to you as i write this for you i realise it may be you never understand the words the feelings i,ll will say to you. you made the diffrence in my heart and soul. you gave me the strenght to carry on just a simple reason to have some hope. a hope that there is someone else like you maybe even many. still your the one who opened my hearts desires your the one who finally defined me. as i sit here crying thinking of how i did loose you. whit purpose in mind i destroyed the thing that made me strong. so i could break and build again. for the last time build me to be who i am. and you were the building blocks of who i am! still i see your misery feel your pain... and wonder why i can leave you behind as i leave. to build the life who is going to be me for the last time to the end. and i wonder why i love you still whit such passion and pain. i think of you as an person who made me whole. when all my parts were scattered around the floor. you gathered me piece by piece and put them together whit an gentle hand. as i know i can never forget what you did for me. i can only say you are the one to thank for everything i have or will get. still this broken glass under my feet and the picture of you remind me of the love i wanted so hard to give you to take you under my shadowing wing. to try shelter you from this world of misery and pain. i could never do that. i tought of myself getaway breakdown leave her behind... well i did so now i see all i can do is to say i,m sorry and you are the one i will always love for the one you are for the things you did for the life you gave me even thou you never knew what you did and maybe would never had i,ll end by saying thank you and i love you yours janne

the next one dedicated to you

Everything Ends Now?

As I choke back the tears... and forget all of my fears... I think...this can't be the end... I hope you know...I love you... But I was so confused...I had no idea what to do... All I knew was that I still love you... I felt so horrible inside out... Please understand...I need this... I still cry... I die inside... everday....just a little more... Have you no clue... YOU do mean everything...don't ever second guess that... Please believe me...I love you...more than anyone...no one can take your place... Everytime I look at your picture...your face... thats something that will never ever will be erased... You can never be replaced... Your something more...nothing less... but I had to confess... That being alone... but being with you... was tearing my insides...out... Everything here seems to be normal... I have kept it inside so long... I felt that my feelings...have been going on... way to long... But PLEASE BELIEVE ME when I say this... ...your everything to me....I love you more than anyone could love a person... But what was inside me..couldn't go on...I need you to understand....I don't want this to end... But if it must be that way...then I have to let it go...let it be...I never knew you and me...could ever be...but we did...last...and I hope...I prey that...this will never end... I choke back my tears... ...........and remember my fears..... when i saw it really ended i broke down to be who i really am but my dear angel you gave me a reason to live never forget that yours janne

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