Letters To God From The Dog

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Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Where are their priorities?

Dear God,
When my family eats dinner they always
bless their food. But they never bless mine.
So... I've been wagging my tail extra fast
when they fill my bowl.
Have you noticed my own blessing?

Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are there cars named
after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,
the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,
but not one named for a dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice
ride! I know every breed cannot have its own
model, but it would be easy to rename the
Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest
and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates,
do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone?
I have been howling at the moon and stars for a
long time, but all I ever hear back is the
beagle across the street!

Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants
because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order?
Or is it that thing about carpets again?

Dear God,
The new terrier I live with just peed on the
Oriental rug and I have a feeling my family
might blame me 'cuz they think I'm jealous
of this stupid dog. Since they have no sense
of smell, how can I convince them I'm
innocent?

Sincerely, The Dog

Author Unknown