Article added on 10/28/02
Remember that song by Bonnie Raitt in the 90's called, "Let's Give Them Something To Talk About?"
When it comes to dating, there is plenty women talk about with each other.
After what appears months of countless horrible dates, I have come to the conclusion that not only is SEX AND THE CITY a huge fairytale of excitement, great sex, and attraction, but that the famed four are not experiencing enough of "reality dating" that seems to occur between the women I know and the dates they experience. I began to ask just a few close girlfriends about some of their pet peeves in dating and I was amazed by how quickly they were able to rattle of some.
Here is the GirlsGoingOut Gripe List on Dating Experiences:
1) Do not pick up your date with a baseball cap no matter how bald you really are. French restaurants really do frown upon this, and you can't keep this a secret from your woman for too long. Take a lesson from Bruce Willis: its all in the personality baby.
2) Do NOT bring up on your first date how you think prositition and drugs should be legalized and then go on to share your extensive list of home pornography.
3) Don't show up at a carnival with your date and suddenly realize you don't have enough money for both of your tickets. Asking her to get you a cotton candy is a definite no no.
4) Attempt to clean out your car before you have her sit in it. If your car is a pigsty, your bedroom probably is too. PS. If you tend to pass gas in your car, invest in an air freshner. Women can tell...
5) If you are the kind of guy who sweats profusely, do take that shower we recommend after the big shabang. Women don't think the sweaty jungle look suits any man. We know you're an animal. Just don't smell like one.
6) We all agree: trimming the tree is a great idea.
7) If you're a sci-fi junkie, that's wonderful. But for the fourth time: I will NOT play Dungeons and Dragons with you and your computer geek friends.
8) Please ask us questions on a date. There's is no bigger turnoff than a guy who talks nonstop about himself, his job, his ex, his car, his childhood, his favorite color, his buddy's bad fall, his nosejob, his therapy, etc. Women tend to wonder why you're going out with them if you don't even care to know who they are as people. We want to know that we're not just eye candy for you. In some cases, if they're hadn't been a decent salad bar on our date, I would have fallen asleep at the table.
9) Please don't blare Robbie Williams in the car. WE know you like him. WE just don't need to know HOW MUCH.
10) Please don't say that I remind you of one of your favorite porn stars.
11) If you had to choose to picking us up last minute tickets, opt for the opera instead of WWF Wrestling match downtown. note: practicing any wrestling moves in the bedroom is not only dangerous, but makes you look like you belong in a zoo rather than a date.
12) When picking us up flowers, go the extra mile. Sign the card yourself. Remember my name too.
13) Please don't make me wait until 10:30pm every night to see you because your gay fitness buddy needs to work out with you for 3 hours beforehand. Working out that much 5 nights a week makes me wonder....
14) Don't sound like a sailor with your mouth. Unless of course, you're really a dishwasher.
15) Don't ask to see my feet up close on the first date. Save your quirky fetishes for date 25. No, make that date 50.
16) Don't suggest going for a walk when there's Code Red.
17) If you suggest meeting out for coffee, at least pick up the tab.
18) DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT bring up EX GIRLFRIENDS on your dates! The general rule for when we want to know is when we ASK to know.
19) If you plan on having us over, at least wash your bedsheets. No one needs to look at all those stains, thank you.
20) Please keep conditioner in your shower. Somehow using White Rain Shampoo to wash my hair, body, face, and teeth seems too cheapskate for us delicate ones.
21) Please kiss delicately and remember where my mouth is. No one's forehead needs a bath.
22) When french kissing, remember the matra: REMEMBER TO BREATHE. I am not a smurf and when I turn blue, that's not a good thing.
23) Do NOT ask if I'll be your girlfriend on the first date. We are not in second grade.
24) Please do not share with me your criminal history. Save that for your lawyer.
25) You're in AA? Great, I'm in OH: Outta Here.
This is just a few of my gripes, alongside with those my girlfriends have contributed, as a basic guideline of things NOT to do before a big FIRST date.
Don't get trapped and become
THE MAN WITHOUT A CLUE
...
Article Copyright©2002 by Goobiegirl, All Rights Reserved
