I fucking am so sick off life. It's meaningless. My name is simple a jumble of letter put to gether as something to identify with. It's just material. I want people to identify with ME not my letters. i want to be real. i want to exsist. i dont want to simply be a forgotten idea! when i die, i will no longer be here, it will be as if i wa snever here, i have no impact. i have touched nothing! i never will! i dont exsist as far as society is concerned. and after i die, i will be forgotten, and the world will go on as if i never exsisted. the world will continue turning, the thing i knew and loved will be wiped clean, destroyed or given to someone who doesn't know that i every touched it. and when they die, it will be as if they never touched it. like they never touched anything. everytings material, even the idea of things being material is material. i dont want to be material anymoere. i wnat to just fade away. i want to disappear! just be forgotten and sleep. god i want to sleep.
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I'm SO pissed at the state the world is in..I'm even more pissed that i can't do anything about it. My age makes me worthless! It's so fucking stupid. I bet George Fucking Idiot Bush never thought about the fact the the reprecusions of his actions will span through every country, effecting every person, for generations. Yeah, some more then other (alot more) the people of Iraq will have to rebuild there country once the us gets there way and high tails their ass out of there, the familys of those, on both sides, that died for a lie, from some venom spitting of a lieing snakes tounge, telling them its there patriotic duty. I dont care if im not american, it effects us too! Neopolian, Hitler, Bush. Their all the fucking same! Just on different levels!
We say we, as humans, are so fucking intellegent, so why dont we have the capacity to learn and evolve????? We've seen this happen before. Look at colonization and residential schools, as just ONE example! we're still seeing the reprocusions! These children were taken out of their home, away from there so-called-barbaric families, to school were they had the fucking shit kicked out fo them before being thrown into a celler for a while, just for speaking their own language! (Tell me.. who's the REAL barbaric ones?) These children have now grown up, many became substance abusers or killed themeselve, becfuase there childhood trauma was so great. And we wonder why so many children are in foster care? How can you eb a parent when you've never been parented! (wow, i did learn something in Abirigional Studies!)
anyways, my point is, how long is it gunna take for people to relize that everything you do, from throwing out you garbage, to bombing a country that has no connection what so ever to the attack on your country that your bombing them for, has reprecusions, and these reprocusions will span generations.
everyone says that as youth we're the ones that can make a diffrence, but i just dont buy it. perhaps this is all just insomnia speaking, i do need sleep, haha, i guess we'll see.
