The saga begins.. It starts with pain, Hurt, and Distrust of others

Alone

Alone, alone always alone.
Most especially on this Thanksgiving Day.
Not allowed to share with the ones you love.
Always hurt and always alone.
Oh so alone, so alone and lonely.
Even in love, still alone and lonely.
It hurts so much to be in love
and be alone and lonely.
Not knowing how to love.
Always hurting, always hurting.
Giving the only kind of love you know how to.
But always causing hurt to the one you love.
Alone, alone always alone.
Always lonely, always hurting those you love.
Alone, alone always alone.

Into the Night

Into the night love does fly.
The night so dark and quiet.
Into the night love does fly.
The night how it shrouds
everything in darkness.
Into the night love does fly.
The darkness so like death it is.
Into the night love does fly.
So like death is darkness in that
it signifies a new beginning.
Into the night love does fly.

Eternal Sleep

To sleep, to sleep how great it would be.
To have sleep eternal. Never to wake again.
The joy of eternal sleep, never to know pain.
Never to know fear.
How sweet eternal sleep is.
Oh how I wish that I could have eternal sleep.
Never again to feel pain, never again to suffer
at the hands of another.
How I wish that I could have
one moment of eternal sleep.
No worries, no cares, nothing
to make you feel pain.
To sleep for an eternity is all I ask.
Never to cause another pain.
Never to hurt another.
Please Lord, grant me this request.
Give to me that which is best
for others and for me.
Give to me sleep that is eternal.

Why

Why is she breaking my heart?
Why is she doing what she is doing?
Why, Oh why, does she hate me so?
Have I not been good to her?
Have I not given her everything?
Then why is she doing this to me?
Why is she destroying me?
What have I done to deserve this?
Why does the world keep on turning?
Why doesn't it just stop?
Why does she not love me
as I love her?
Why, Oh why, does she hate me so?

Nights So Long

Why are the nights so long,
and the days so short?
Since you have left me the nights
are so long and lonely
and the days so short.

Oh how I wish that the days
were longer and the
nights were shorter.

Then the nights I spend
without you would
not be so long and lonely.
Then, My Dear, the pain and
suffering that I endure
would not be so much.

How I wish to have this
pain and suffering gone from me.
Then I could endure
the nights without you.

Why are the days so short,
and the nights so long?
Why?

The Dagger

As the dagger plunges
deep into my heart.

My blood spills
forth into the gutter.

As I lay in the gutter
my tears wash the blood away.

Hundreds of people
pass me by.

None notice the dagger
in my heart nor the
tears that wash
the blood away.

For they all walk
with their heads up turned.

The pain, Oh the pain
that the dagger brings
to my heart as
my life force ebbs.

I Sit Here

As I sit here drinking
Mountain Dew and
Southern Comfort.
I put my face
closer to the screen.
To better read
those words you write.
For my eyes do not
see what is there
to be seen.

Question

Am I the only one? I ask you.
You stand there and say
"Yes you are the only one."

I ask myself, "Can I trust her?"
I want so much to believe.
So do I believe her? Yes.

But then I ask myself, "Well,
what if she is lying. What if
I'm not the only one?"

I want so to trust her words.
A heart so twisted and torn as mine.
Forever seeking that which has been denied.

To heal this twisted and torn heart
is all I want.
To love again, that would surely
heal this twisted and torn heart.

A Web

Sweet lady you've caught me in your web.
A web of intrigue, deceit and lies.
But willingly I came to your web to stand
in front of you to profess my love to you.
Though I walk in the shadow of you.
I know my love for you is true.
But what of you, my love, is
your love for me true?
Oh my love you have spun such a web.
Like a spider would do to catch her prey.
You spin your web around me.
Holding me fast.
The strands of your web like steel cables.
Brut strength alone cannot break them.
Only my undying love and devotion to
you can snap the strands of
your web and release me.

Life Without You

Life without you is not a life but
Death.
Death is far better then living without you.
Oh Angel of Death come take me away.
Carry me away from all this suffering.
I care not for a life like this.
For truly this is not a life
But more a sentence of Death.
Angel of Death come for me now.
Take me to where there is no pain.
Protect me in your arms from the pain.
Take me, Angel of Death, come take me now.

What Is

What is life without love?
Death.
What is love without life?
Death.
Without love and life, what is there left?
Death.
Without the happiness that love brings,
what is there left?
Death.
Where in lies the truth to all these
questions, you ask?
Death.
For in death is truth.
In love is only falsehood.

Abandoned

Abandoned again, left alone.
Always abandoned
Abandoned as a child.
Abandoned now.
Flown away, gone.
Left on a stoop,
Wasn't needed,
wasn't wanted.
Abandoned again.

Don't Know Why

Don't know where you are.
I know I miss you.
Don't know what you are doing.
I know I love you.
Don't know why I do.
I just know that I do.
Don't know why, I just do.
Don't know why I worry about you.
I just know I do.
Don't know why I do.
I just know that I do that's all.

Once

Once we created a life.
And from that creation came a son.
For nine years we loved and nurtured him.
We watched him go from crawling to walking.
From kindergarten to the 4th grade.
At age eight he started to ride a bike.
Now at age 10 I know not what he does.
For you have taken him away from me.
And now I have no heir.

Where?

Where oh where can my love be?
Why has my love not came to me?
Is she hurt, is she aware?
Does she really know how much I care?
Oh dear, oh dear whatever could be wrong?
I know she knows how much I worry about her.
Oh Lord please bring my love to me.
Send an angel to her my Lord
to tell her how worried I am.
To whisper in her ear how much I care.
To tell her of my love for her.
Where oh where can my love be?
Why has she not came to me?

A Loser Be I

To all that would see,
A loser be I.
In all that I do, I do wrong.
A loser be I.
Cry not for me,
A loser be I.
Shed not a tear for you see I know,
A loser be I.
I cry not for I know in truth,
A loser be I.
I gain it once, I gain it twice,
but always,
A loser be I.
What need of you of one like me.
A loser be I.
Now this little saga ends as always.
A loser be I.
For it shall always be true.
A loser be I.