WHILE SHE STABS ME STILL

I don't understand...
why I'm here crying...
in a large pool of my own blood...
how could things have ended this way?...
How can the person who meant the most to me...
have been the bringer of my downfall?...

How could she pierce me so deeply...
when I didn't even betray her...
I only did it to protect myself...
I didn't do it to hurt her...
and it didn't hurt her...
although she felt hurt by it...
I said I was sorry for what I did...
for I was... and I was sorry that it hurt her...
I should not have done it...

But how could she strike me down...
and then keep stabbing me...
even as I tried to help her?...
I know that she was in pain....
and that as she stabbed me... it was out of pain...
but it hurt so much and I begged her to stop...
But she merely said that I could leave if I pleased...
and continued to stab me... repeatedly...
over and over again...
as I sobbed painfully on the floor...
refusing to leave her...
for I knew that was not what she wanted...
although she stabbed me then...

I told her she was hurting me...
I told her she was wounding me deeply...
And she told me I was free to leave...
And yet I didn't...
I remained... and suffered the pain...
but she didn't even seem to notice my pain...
she was too busy acting like she didn't care...
and too busy wounding me still...

I couldn't believe that she...
the person who meant most to me in the world...
was stabbing me repeatedly...
and was ready to leave me to die....
It hurt too much...
and I screamed in agony between sobs and blood....
I begged her again to stop...
I beseeched that she cease before I expired...
She only said that it was my fault...
that I had made my own decisions...
and that I would have to live with the consequences...
to stay and be stabbed forever...
or to leave... and lose her forever...

I can't leave her...
I never could...
I never would...
and I never will...

So I shall stay...
while she stabs me still...
while she ignores my pain...
while she waits for hers to leave...
while I lie here crying...
curled up in a pool of my own blood...
while she stabs me still...
though I shall love her anyway...
until the end of time...
while she stabs me still...

Copyright ©2001 Ashi Shadow