TORMENTED IN DARKNESS, THERE IS NO PATH, NO WAY OUT

Pressing back tears,
Thinking on fears,
looking outside,
my sadness I hide.

I just want to die-
of that I won't lie.
I can't because I'm best?
Surely you jest.

You must be thinking of another
Perhaps of whom you think is my brother
He gets good grades, over a 3.9
No sir, I shall not tell you mine.

Too many failures,
too many times,
I got pejorated-
for better than thine's.

After some time,
if one will but wait;
results life mine-
the will gone unstraight.
Life is a joke.
Life hurts to live.
Life is a yoke.
when one stops to give.

Happiness flees,
sadness stays,
head between knees-
the sadness shall reign.

Too many teardrops,
too many tears,
too many will-drops...
so not many years.

Copyright ©2001 Ashi Shadow

Hmm... yes... well.. if you haven't figured it out yet this appears to be some of that crude teen-angst poetry. I don't know what the title really is, but the words I've stuck as the title were smudged at the top of the paper. I wrote it a couple years ago on Valentine's day.

If you're REALLY interested, here's more for you to read about it: My father handed me a poem that had somehow gotten into his stuff. This bothered me because first of all, it was a poem of mine. And on the other side it had an original of a poem of mine, one that I didn't even know existed at this point because apparently I'd lost it after writing it and it got into his stuff. And for all I know he could have read either or both of them, bah. The one written on it is dated Valentine's day '99. So this must have been around when I met Katie (I think). I waltzed with her on Valentine's day of '99, hah! I got to know her the day after Valentine's day of '99, I think. It's one of my fonder memories, it turns out the whole time I waltzed with her (which was a substantial, substantial amount... ) she'd been doing it on an injured knee and never told me! Poor girl:P At any rate, it was fun to say the least:) But now back to the original reason I'm writing this entry... there's this poem I wrote on that Valentine's day (I don't know what time I wrote it- whether before or after the dance, presumably after because at the top it says "Tormented in darkness, there is no path, no way out," and then an ink smudge that trails off). let's see what the poem says... *reads it for the first time in two years...* Hmm I was obviously crying when I wrote this, I couldn't write straight...

Oh, and it actually has nothing to do with Katie, I only got to know her well from the day after, the day I wrote this I only thought of her as a cute little 8th grader *feels the urge to pinch her cheeks* Well, okay, she's still that cute little 8th grader to me:) But she's also very mature for her age and she's much more than a cute little 8th grader, she's intelligent, funny, etc. etc. (I'm not going to give you all 412 adjectives I have to describe her) I... think this particular poem of mine sucks for the most part but has a few redeeming areas. I'll keep it though this doesn't seem worthy of my poetry. If you think this is good then you're just wrong:P *snicker* Just trust me, while I can see what makes this poem good too, I can also see things in it that make me grimace and want to throw it away. Dr. Evil, you better put a comment in about this poem, I know you'll give me an honest opinion of how much the content of it sucks and why. (if you guys are really interested I'll give you the stylistic evaluation on it so you can know why it sucks stylistically)