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St. Adamus

The Feast of Saint Adamus

Yet again, it is nearing the time for The Feast of Saint Adamus.

The Feast of Saint Adamus, also known as The Slackers' Jubilation, is a newly created Ancient Tradition. Being traceable as far back as the necrotic period, records have indicated this to be one of the most hallowed of days, significant for the sheer number of people who kept the Holy Day, which comes as no surprise when one discovers truly devout celebrants were required to do nothing more than lounge around in their underwear and snack.

Held on the Eve of the Ides of August, or the Saturday night following the anniversary of the illustrious Saintís day of birth, or whatever day is most convenient, during the dog days of summer when Canis Major rides high in the night sky and inertia and laziness prevail, when things seem dead and doing anything, exerting any energy for any reason, seems not only useless and futile, but impossible, The Feast of Saint Adamus festivities consisted of a costume party and pot luck. In ancient Mesopotomy, prizes were often given for the best Feast of Saint Adamus costume and usually went to infants and slave girls. This begins to make sense when one looks further into the customs of this most advanced, civilised culture to discover an ancient Mesopotomus hardly ever wore anything more than underpants, and infants and slaves less.

Food offerings consisted of gifts of leftovers brought in adoration of Saint Adamus. Anything hanging around the house would do, as long as it required no preparation, bespoke of no creativity and left hardly anything to clean up or wash. Utensils were considered an abhorrence unto Saint Adamus, unless they were made of candy and entirely edible. Of course, in true homage to this beloved saint, as yet, no-one has ever taken the time or initiative to create these.

One must remember, the hallmark of the Celebration of Saint Adamus and the Feast bearing his name is that nothing special happens. A sort of Super Sabbath, we celebrants are required to do nothing more than pay homage to their saint, and each other, by bearing witness to our mutual inertia, and listening, ever so briefly, to the ďOde to St. Adamus,Ē read in a reclining position in honour of the saint. And let us do as the pious have done for centuries uncountable. This Feast of Saint Adamus, letís sit around and do nothing.





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Ode to St. Adamus


A man named Adamus, a saint,
Had but a single loud complaint:
His workload nearly made him faint-
his time was not his own.

The other saints, heíd explicate,
had time to sit and comtemplate,
philosophize and meditate,
or solve an ancient koan.

But he alone of all the blessíd
Got not a single momentsí rest.
Heíd end each day dog-tired and stressed,
His hands worked to the bone.

This sorry state continued ítil
the tired saint had had his fill.
I need a day to just sit still!
The neighbors heard him groan.

Amidst the papers in his room,
a lovely thought then pierced his gloom,
A way he might escape his doom
and find the time to zone.

To each saint is a feast assigned
and patronage of those whose kind
the saintís good works were most aligned
with, when his works are known

Saint Adamus then beamed with glee.
It seemed that he would soon be free
His own feast he would now decree
Ere one more hour had flown.

A day of utter laziness
steeped in the summerís haziness
A break from all the craziness
would be itís general tone.

And so it is at Augustís peak
when heat runs high and will runs weak,
we gather, some relief to seek,
and sit around like stone.

Jeanette Westlake


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>>Tellstones: Runic Divination in the Welsh Tradition. My last book.
>>My curricula vitae or everything you might need to know about me.
>>The other three R's: The Ultimate in Reduce, Reuse and Recycle. FREECYCLE
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>>Lee's Site. Family Pics and Oriental Medicine
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