Christmas Tree Envy, the Beatles, Palestinians and a Little Fargin:

Rabbi Loel Weiss on John Lennon's Yartzeit at Beth Am Schecter

Kiddush

By Susie Davidson

Advocate Correspondent

RANDOLPH - It was a poignant Dec. 8 Shabbat service for Bernie and Claire

Schecter, beloved Temple Beth Am of Randolph members who passed away

within four years of each other, Claire in 1997 and Bernie this past

Dec. 31.

Congregants and friends and relatives invited by daughter Joan

Wolfson shed tears with sad smiles as she recalled her father's

longtime devotion to Beth Am and its kitchen (including his infamous

Bernieburger). She did not have to remind the congregation of

Claire's inimitable good nature, but she touched all with her account

of the plant that died at the moment her mother did, while holding

Bernie's hand ("my sign that God was there"), and the highlights and

low points along the way of her parents' unusually loving marriage.

Son Ricky, who will celebrate his Bar Mitzvah next year at Belmont's

Temple Beth El, led Ayn Kelohenu.

No sermon could have possibly inspired greater emotion, yet Rabbi

Loel Weiss went on to deliver an incredibly powerful, provocative and

comprehensive commentary on the issues of the day, which was based on

an idea by Rabbi Mitchell Wohlberg of Baltimore, MD.

"Our children," he began, "envy those with Christmas trees. It is

difficult for them to know any better, as we often act quite

similarly ourselves.

"We all need to learn the meaning of the Yiddish word fargin, which,"

he explained, "means to simply let others' happiness be." He gave

many examples of things we often envy in others, which were usually

merely possessions.

"Today is John Lennon's 21st yartzeit," he announced. "And what was

going on in Mark David Chapman's mind when he shot him? Envy. Chapman

idolized the singer. He had Lennon posters plastered on his wall, and

all his albums ['in case nobody remembers, they were big CD's,' he

quipped]. He even married a Japanese woman too. And now we mourn the

passing of another Beatle, George Harrison."

The mentions of the Beatles, as always, recalled a long ago panorama

of the inspiration, mirrored experiences and emulated phases

precedented by the Fab Four. It also brought to mind Gail Schecter,

Bernie and Claire's elder daughter, a Beatles devotee and coveted

recipient of Paul McCartney Fan Club signed letters and holiday

records, who introduced the world of Beatlemania into the childhoods

of Joanie and this writer. Because of the enthusiasm of Gail, Beatles

memorabilia swiftly and equivocally replaced Barbies and Easy Bake

Ovens. Beatles 45's and paraphernalia became the overriding themes

and soundtracks of our lives, as well as those of neighbors Eileen

Lappen and Michelle Davidson, who filled the other two roles in

endless pantomines amid the delight of early innocence.

When Gail passed away unexpectedly at age 27, part of the Beatles

faded from our psyches as well, just as those of our generation know

that the deep loss suffered by the deaths of John Lennon, and now

George Harrison, is far, far more than the mere passing of these two

extraordinarily decent, trendsetting, gifted human beings. It's part

of us as well.

Weiss continued, analogizing the present day situation in the Middle

East. "The Palestinians", he said, "have never learned fargin. They

envy what we Jews have, and what we have built in the positive spirit

of democracy and peace. But rather than attempt to establish and

maintain similar lofty, conscientious achievements and progress, they

have exercised their jealousy in the tragic form of violence and

destruction.

"They," he pronounced, "and we, must learn and practice fargin. Only

then will we know how to teach our children not to envy Christmas

décor, but to appreciate the traditions and holidays that we alone

have."

He ended with the Lennon anthem: "Imagine no possessions, I wonder if

you can, no need for grief or hunger, a brotherhood of man, imagine

all the people, living life in peace…."

The Schecters knew untold loss. Yet Bernie never stopped contributing

to his community, and Claire never ceased to be the ultimate person

of cheerful good will. They knew fargin, and practiced it.

Chag Somayach.