Episode #29
Last week Ultraman Narashi was taken to a far off world to aid the other Ultras in an epic clash against the Baltan & their allies.
Ultraman Gaia annihilates an oncoming Baltan warrior with his photon edge (forehead ray). The King of Ultra's smashes in one of the Baltan's craniums with his mighty hammer, while Tiga puts another in the dirt with his Tiga Pit Fall. The ray struck between the Baltan's legs, causing the ground beneath him o give way. The Baltan fell into the hole before exploding (hence the name, "Tiga Pit Fall").
Ultraman Narashi tosses twin Ultra discs cutting off both arms of the first Baltan but dealing a lethal blow to the two behind him.
Tim: Hello and welcome to another episode of Fatal Friday Fights!
AJ: Today's theme is creating the fights for the movies that never were.
Matt Kong: That's right! Both "King Kong versus Frankenstein" and "Guilala versus Gappa" were canceled! So tonight we're giving you those matches!
AJ: Up first, he's the King of the Kongs! More awesome than Hong Kong, cooler than Queen Kong, smarter than Donkey Kong and way bigger than Matt Kong... It's King Kong! His opponent here tonight, the hideous, the repulsive, the some what tragic Frankenstein!
The Long Prolonged Clash!
VS 
King Kong Frankenstein
Tim: Kong throws his mammoth weight across the streets of San Fransisco on a war path toward Frankenstein. The opposing force readies himself for impact before being tossed to the ground. Frankenstein attempts to kick Kong from where he is on the ground, but instead Kong catches him by the ankle. Now Frankie's getting dragged across the pavement!
Matt Kong: That's showing him!
AJ: Go Kong!
Tim: Everyone's favorite ape then succeeds in leaving a Frankenstein-shaped dent in the side of a sky scraper. Frankie's getting tired of being kicked around and decides its time for an offensive action. The human-like kaiju leaps to his feet and cries out in rage. Kong answers, rearing back and pounding his chest as he roars. The two the lunge at one another. Frankenstein's fists pound into Kong's gut, after he narrowly avoiding an attack from the great primate. Frankenstein tosses another blow, but his fist lands in Kong's palm, then the second. Now both titans are in a rough grappling contest. Frankenstein soon gives in to Kong's primeval strength and things are tipped in Kong's favor. Frankenstein is forced to the ground where Kong digs his fangs into his hide. Frankenstein's monster howls in agony before flailing his hand in an effort to strike Kong's vulnerable spots, his eyes. The plan backfires and Frankie finds his hand wedged between Kong's simian jaws. Kong heaves, and heaves until the hand comes off.
AJ: Frankenstein is on the receiving end of a pummeling unless he does something quick.
Tim: Frankenstein finally manages to get a leg free and puts the put into Kong's gut, forcing the great ape into retreat. Frankenstein, using a new hand that has already replaced the severed appendage, leaps to Kong's back and attempts to straggle the big guy. Acting again with his superior strength, Kong heaves Frankenstein to the ground. Before Frankenstein has a chance to get back up Kong seizes his ankle and tosses his enormous foe. Frankenstein's massive bulk crashes down onto a structure followed by a shower of blue and yellow sparks. Frankenstein spasms uncontrollably before he, again, takes up his fighting stance. Meanwhile, Kong formulates a plan and heads towards the nearest set of power lines. Kong checks out the line and is pleased top find the wire is still live. Kong then uses his electrical power to follow the flow of electrons to the source, the city's reserve generator. Kong wastes no time in draining the device of its stash of electricity, and just in time too. Frankenstein swings a train to crash over Kong's skull. The powerful gorilla winces back, holding his skull. The unrelenting Frankenstein feels no compassion for the most famous of American monsters and gives him a kick to the chest, sending him rolling across the pavement. Kong sends a fist down into the pavement a pulls out from underground, a pipe. Kong then uses the pipe to electrocute Frankenstein from a safe distance, sending the opposing kaiju reeling back in pain and surprise. Kong follows through by using his newly acquired pipe to play the xylophone on Frankie's rib cage. Frankenstein puts aside his fear and bears the pain long enough to disarm Kong and bash into him with his own weapon. But after a couple of more whacks proved to be more than the object could take, and the pipe was rendered useless. Kong seizes the opportunity to slip beyong Frankie's defenses and give 'em the ol' right hook to the jaw.
Matt Kong: Too easy for him. Frankenstein tries to fight back but instead Kong catches a punch by the wrist and uses the momentum to hurl Frankie over his shoulder. Frankenstein, now on the ground, kicks out at the oncoming Kong, to no avail. Kong sends some claws into Frankie's chest to send a volt of electricity directly to Frankenstein's heart. The strategy seems to have worked. Frankie's heart stopped and King Kong is the winner.
AJ: What an awesome match up!
Tim: Well. It wasn't the greatest in the world being that some of us already knew how the fight would turn out.
Matt Kong: Yep. Kong would win, no and or ifs about it.
Tim: Well Kong's foe was powerful, but not really the most powerful beast in existence. Kong couldn't hold his own against such monsters as Bagan. We know that from experience. But he's certainly no push over.
Matt Kong: I love Kong more than anybody.
AJ: As cool as Kong is, could we please get the next match started.
Tim: Sure AJ. Why don't you go ahead and choose the next location.
AJ How about Rio De Janeiro. We rarely ever hit down south.
Matt Kong: Make it so!
AJ Match 2
VS 
Gappa Guilala
Tim: Rio De Janeiro. A statue of Christ overlooks this proud city with arms outstretched in blessing. That is until the foot of a landing Gappa reduces it to rubble. From atop his perch the mighty Gappa overlooks the shining metropolis bellowing out in challenge to his adversary. Gappa's cry is answered in the form of a massive sphere of red energy. The mass of power lands in the middle of the city, through flames thousands of feet high in all directions. From the cloud of smoke emerges the all powerful, but still not as cool as Gojira, Guilala. The massive green space chicken bellows in rage before launching a burning assault at the perched Gappa. Gappa abandons his hill-top vantage point and takes to the sky moments before the fireballs impact. The "X" From Outer Space readjusts its aim and attempts to score a hit on the flying Gappa with questionable success. Of all the space monster's projectiles, only one manages to graze Gappa's hind leg. Gappa makes a surprise move, turning towards Guilala to issue out his heat ray. The beam passes through a building to collide with Guilala, the end result is some good old fashion mayhem!
Matt Kong: But Guilala doesn't stay on the defense for long. The space chicken fetches up a cloud of rubble and hurls it towards Gappa, missing by a long shot. Gappa attempts another attack, this time the beam only passes by Guilala, scoring a hit to only the pavement. Gappa is quick to realize that his tactics are ineffective and decides to go in for a swoop attack. In his efforts Gappa succeeds only in being knocked out of the sky with a ball of flame. Gappa is sent spiraling backwards to knock through a structure. Guilala takes on the form of an energy ball and flies towards his downed foe, spreading destruction below him. Guilala immediately takes to the sky and heads for the beach. Gappa makes his dive into the water just in time to evade incineration. However, its going to be pretty hard for the "triphibian" monster to win from underwater. Guilala takes an estimated risk and sinks into the water, still in his energy form, producing clouds of steam upon entry. The resulting heat is enough to drive Gappa out of the boiling body of water and on to a more favorable battle ground for Guilala. Once back on dry land Guilala takes on his physical form,a nd flexes his muscles, ready and anxious to finish this fight. However he is met with heavy resistance, and fire power shortly after stepping onto the beach. In despite of Gappa's harsh bombardment Guilala's advance remains unaltered. The energy-sucking-space-chicken is making good time when Gappa suddenly decides to tackle his foe to the ground. The two struggle on the ground, pecking and clawing, this being most difficult for Gappa on account of his short arms. Gappa manages to get free of a sticky situation and is back up on his hind legs. He then begins to flap his great wings, producing a harsh windstorm that sends Guilala sliding back to collide with several man-made structures. Guilala launches a fireball towards Gappa, but in the harsh winds the projectile's effectiveness falls short. Guilala soon grows tired of being pummeled with cars, trucks and bicycles and takes on his energy form. Gappa takes to the air and flees towards the sea. His efforts are for not as soon Guilala is upon him. The red sphere of energy collides with the flying "triphibian" monster resulting in a powerful explosion. From the smoke emerges a red sphere of energy, but there are no remains of Gappa to be seen. Guilala wins the match.
Tim: What a match!
AJ: We had a whole lot of fun today but that's it for our... What?
G13: Hey guys, what did I miss?
Matt Kong: Everything. The show's over.
CyberGodzilla: Not yet it's not!
Tim: What do you want!? You dumb ugly iguana!
CyberGodzilla: Why to brag of course! I've come up with my greatest evil plan ever! You see, I could never beat such kaiju as Bagan or Gojira in a fair fight. But now I don't need to! You see, back on Earth I've had the Techno-Sentient absorb all of your equipment from your base of operations!
G13: What does that mean!?
CyberGodzilla: It means, we now literally run the show!
G13, Tim, MattKong & AJ: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
CyberGodzilla: And I've got my own plans for you!
[G13 reaches under the desk and produces a hand gun. Suddenly all three vanish from the Announcer's Booth in a flash of light.]
CyberGodzilla: PEMC, give him the signal!
[Tim and the others appear on a beach, behind them is a facility built into the side of a mountain.]
Tim: I know this place! Yeah! This is another WMW facility. Only it's been out of use for ages.
[From the ocean the team is startled by a sound. A roar. One that was only recently heard. The water out at sea is pushed high into the air by the mass of flesh beneath it.]
G13: My god! It's the Cloverfield Monster!
Matt Kong: He's right! We're done for!
Tim: The facility! It's our only chance!
[The WMW crew manages to get to the facilities entrance just before the Cloverfield Monster makes land fall. But all are aware of a possible threat perhaps even more terrible. They decide not to take chances. The front room of the facility is sheltered within the mountain. There they believe they will safe.]
Matt Kong: What do we do! Even if help arrives we can't get passed that thing outside!
[Just then the power went out.]
Tim: Did you send a message?
[Matt Kong reaches for the door knob before opening the door. Almost as soon as the door swung open an insecticide appendage slips out of the darkened room. Immediately realizing what's going on Matt Kong pushes on the door but the insect arms are keeping him from closing it. AJ finds a flash light and puts it to use, enabling Tim and G13 to see what's going on. Tim aids Matt Kong in keeping the parasite at bay while G13 takes aim with his hand gun. G13 squeezes the trigger and sends the creature into retreat. After the door is shut G13's finger slips and he fires a second time. The bullet bounces off of the metal door and passes through Matt's flesh. The door is secured and Matt Kong is left on the ground sprawling in pain.]
Tim: It's too far out to hit any vitals. And it looks like the bullet passed through. You should be alright. Alright there's two more doors for us to check.
[AJ peers through the door window into another room and sees nothing but boxes and shelves.]
AJ: This room seems clear.
-G13 groans.-
AJ: Look what I found.
-Tim, Matt Kong, AJ and G13 open the case to find an assault rifle, a military-grade shot gun, a pair of oozis and a box of ammunition for each.-
Tim: Alright, Matt Kong, you get first pick.
-Matt Kong fetches up the shot gun, loads the weapon with three bullets and fills his pockets with his stash of ammunition.-
AJ: I'll take the assault rifle.
Tim: Then I get the oozis. Sorry G13, that leaves you with what you got.
-G13 emerges from the same room that AJ had entered with a liter, a can of bug spray tucked under his belt and two bottles shoved down his pockets with alcohol soaked rags protruding from the bottle necks. His intentions were clear.-
G13: I'll find a way to make do.
[Just then there's a powerful rumble outside. The Cloverfield Monster was digging through the mountain to get to them. The team scrambles around the room in panic. The roof is pulled back and day light fills the room. In the haze the WMW team can see a form, presumably a massive head peering down at them. It looks like the end when a blue light rains down from the skies above. An unfamiliar roar echoes across the island as a mighty serpent descends. The Celestrial Dragon (D-War, 2007) swoops down to knock the Cloverfield Monster backwards, tackling the beast to the ground and makes an attempt to crush the behemoth in its powerful coils. The WMW team doesn't stick around to watch this Kaiju fight up close and in person. Instead the team takes off into the building to find shelter deeper within the mountain complex.]
Will the team survive? Will they take control back of the WMW? Will the D-War dragon triumph over the Cloverfield Monster? What's the deal with the Baltan? Why am I asking you all these question? Find out next time on the WMW's Fatal Friday Fights!
Tim: I hope we make it!
To be continued...
Tim: Relax. There are French Anti-Godzilla Bazookas and hand-held masers in the armory.
G13: You sure that's going to kill that thing?
Tim: It tore through Ebirah's armored carapace in "Godzilla: Final Wars", I'm sure they'll work.
AJ: Yeah, well that's not going to happen. I've tapped into the security cams on the front computer. It doesn't look good. The whole thing is filled with these, weird insect-things.
Tim: The Cloverfield Parasites? I was right. CyberGodzilla's rigged this place!
AJ: I'm going to attempt to send an e-mail.
AJ: I'm not sure if it got through.
Tim: Alright, there should be an emergency kit around here somewhere. That could be a valuable asset.
Matt Kong: Alright let's get cracken'! This room links to three others so we've got three rooms available to us.
Tim: Have G13 cover you.
AJ: With his aim I'd be better off fighting a parasite with my shoe.
-Moments after AJ entered the room he comes out with a brief case.-
Matt Kong: Watch were you toss those... those.. bomb things that you make out of the bottles. What do you call those things?
AJ: Cocktails.
Matt Kong: You sure?
AJ: Somewhat sure.
Tim: It doesn't matter what you call them! Matt Kong's right! Watch were those things land you little pyromaniac!
AJ: There's only one door left to check. Matt Kong, can you walk.
Matt Kong: I think so.
WMW Co-Writer