Tim: Hello and welcome to a special edition of Fatal Friday Fights, in celebration of the US holiday, Independence Day! (Mostly I was looking for an excuse to post up another episode.) The date, July fourth is the anniversary of an important happening in US history.

AJ: So let’s look back at some US giant monster history! Our opening match is the classic battle of T-Rexx vs. Trike!

       VS      
T-Rexx                        Trike

AJ: For this match the Beta 19 has changed the arena into a jungle with a large, oval clearing at the center were both dinosaurs are placed, each on one side of the oval of sand, facing each other. The bell rings and T-Rexx rears up and roars, before going on a charge for Trike. But Trike keeps his deadly horns facing the therapod. Seeing this T-Rexx maneuvers around Trike, trying to slow down. T-Rexx turns around and charges again, head butting Trike in the side. Trike fights back by using the side of his horns to bash into the carnosaur. T-Rexx retreats backward before lunging at Trike and ripping out a chunk of flesh from one of Trike’s back legs. Trike then turns around and runs and the tyrannosaur, before stabbing him in the leg with his own nose horn. Rexx roars in pain and the ceratopsian backs away before stabbing him in the stomach with one of the horns on its neck guard.

Tim: The dinosaur roars in pain before backing away from the three horned monster. Rexx then attacks Trike from the side, biting and kicking Trike, with his clawed feet. Then with his bone crushing jaws, Rexx breaks Trike’s spine, before he too drops dead.

AJ: What happened?

Tim: That stab Trike delivered to Rexx was really the finishing blow, but it took Rexx a while for the pea brain to realize he was dead.

Aw man that match stank! Something’s wrong with this. Trike should be Rexx’s meal by now but instead their both dead! Well since T-Rexx did kill Trike first he has won.

AJ: Technically it was Trike who killed him first.

Tim: I guess your right. It’s just that I grew up knowing T-Rex was the best predator who ever lived. This match was kind of a let down for me.

AJ: Hopefully the next match will be more entertaining. Next we have a match between two very famous icons. In countless old sci-fi flicks, giant spiders and insects play the role of monsters, so this next match will include, the Giant Tarantula. His opponent is one of the most famous of all American Kaiju, King Kong!

       VS      
King Kong                                      Giant Tarantula

AJ: For this battle the island terrain is replaced with a blank metal floor and several stone cylinder pillars, to form a basic battle arena. The bell rings and the Giant Tarantula lifts its front four legs into the, air being shore to show the gorilla its massive fangs (a pose most tarantulas assume when they feel threatened) . Kong then throws his upper body into the air and pounds his chest and roars. Kong runs at Giant Tarantula but as soon as he reaches the arachnid it leaps onto him, forcing him to the ground, with his legs wrapped around Kong’s body, trying to sink those deadly fangs into Kong.

Tim: But Kong is no push over and is capable of forcing the spider off of him before lifting the creature and tossing it into one of the stone pillars. After that the structure falls to the ground and shatters, but Giant Tarantula is still alive. Kong picks up a piece of stone and tosses it and it smashes into the arachnid’s head. The spider oozes blood from parts of its head as it backs away from Kong. Kong then picks up a smaller piece and moves in for an attempt to use it to bash the arachnid, but when Kong comes close to Giant Tarantula the creature lifts its abdomen and launches the hairs at Kong, which stick into his chest. King Kong manages to pull out the projectiles, but the hairs contained a chemical which acts as an irritant. Soon Kong’s chest turns red and it looks as though Kong is in pain. Kong then in anger, throws his fists into the air and brings them crashing down onto the Giant Tarantula’s body. The Giant Tarantula fights back by using one of his front legs to deliver to Kong, a type of upper cut. The Tarantula then pokes Kong in the stomach with both its front legs, then launches more hairs at Kong, and the chemicals in the hair causes more of Kong’s body to have a reaction and rash up.

AJ: That’s what you call a defense mechanism! I didn’t figure a spider could fight so well.

Tim: Yes but Kong can fight better. Kong grabs a hold of both front legs and swings Tarantula around and around before letting go, sending the spider smashing into another pillar. The arachnid manages to remain alive and awake, only to have Kong wrap his arm around its head. Giant Tarantula then launches more rocket hairs out of its abdomen into Kong’s back. Kong ignores the chemicals as best as he can and grabs onto one of the spiders fangs. Kong then rips the fang out of its socket before using it to stab the spider in its back and hopefully ending its life. Nope. That spider does not know when to quit!

AJ: It just keeps on batting at Kong’s back with its legs. Kong lets the monster go, which then runs away from the ape. Kong chases after the arachnid who is now behind another stone pillar (at the center of the arena, and is the thickest and heaviest out of all of them). It rears up on its hind, four legs and uses its front, four legs to tip over the pillar and sending it falling toward Kong. Kong raises his hands and blocks before tipping the pillar back at Giant Tarantula. Giant Tarantula tries to repeat Kong’s process but is instead crushed under the weight. Kong wins.

Tim: That was pretty cool the way those hairs acted like harpoons.

AJ: Yeah that was cool but I know what is better… Our next match!

Tim: You are right AJ, and our next match is…

Together: Mighty Joe Young vs. the Rancor!

Tim: This should be interesting.

       VS      
Mighty Joe                                      Rancor

Tim: For this match the arena has become a rocky waste land with no sign of greenery anywhere except a few shrubs. Both monsters are teleported into the arena, the bell rings and the fight begins! Rancor throws his head back and begins to roar when he is hit in the chin with a boulder. Joe had thrown it at the Rancor and now seems to be laughing at what he’s done. Rancor seems to be angry with Joe and charges for the great ape. Joe roars in response and he too begins to charge at Rancor, but where as Rancor maybe slow, he has an incredible reach with those long arms and smacks Joe across the face, leaving three thin lines of blood on the ape’s face before he can do anything. Rancor then punches Joe in the stomach, before grabbing on to the ape and lifting him over his head. Joe squirms around in Rancor’s hands and Rancor is about to throw him when Joe finds a position to bite Rancor in the arm. Rancor roars in pain and drops Joe, who lands on his head and both monsters crash to the ground. Both monsters get up, and as soon as he is on his feet Joe runs away from the Rancor. Rancor chases Joe who turns around and throws a second boulder at Rancor.

AJ: The rock collides into Rancor, hitting him between the eyes and giving him a bloody nose. The Rancor is then hit with another rock, forcing him on his back. Joe moves in to pin but Rancor kicks him in the stomach and gets back up as Joe quivers in pain. Rancor then punches Joe in the face and knocking him onto his back. Joe then performs a hand stand for a brief moment, uses his hand-like feet to grab onto the inside of Rancor’s nostrils and pulls him to the ground. The Rancor is forced to lay on his stomach but while on the ground, as Joe gets up it lashes out with its claws and cuts into Joe’s back. Joe roars in pain before jumping onto Rancor’s back and begins to give it a good pounding to both sides of his head. Rancor reaches up and grasps one of Joe’s arms after he hit him. Rancor then grabs the same arm with his other hand and flips Joe onto his back. Joe and Rancor both get up. Joe grasps a rock in his hands and charges Rancor. Joe beats at Rancor’s head with the rock until Rancor punches him in the shoulder and spins him around and onto his stomach.

Tim: Rancor then picks up the gorilla and throws him into a boulder. Rancor then picks up a boulder and uses to crush Joe’s skull. Rancor is the winner.

AJ: And now we have a match between the classic US monster, Frankenstein and Ultraraptor!

Tim: We all know how this will end, considering U Raptor gored Frankenstein so bad on Thursday Thrash that they had to cut the fight short!

AJ: A different out come of the same battle is not impossible but I think the dinosaur will win.

       VS      
Frankenstein                                     Ultraraptor

AJ: For this match the arena becomes a replica of Chicago. Yeah I know we use Chicago a lot, get over it! Frankenstein is teleported to the base of the Sears Tower and Ultraraptor is teleported to a different point of the city.

Tim: It looks like Ultraraptor is taking the “hide and strike” approach because as soon as the bell rings he runs farther into the stone jungle. Frankenstein then runs into the city and tries to hunt down Ultraraptor. Frankenstein says something but we can’t understand him.

Were is that money grabbing Xillian Ec, with that lone he promised us!? Aw forget it! Back to the match, Frankenstein is still searching for U Raptor, but what he doesn’t know is that Ultraraptor is on top of a building, poised to leap onto his target as soon as he strays too close. Frankenstein walks between two buildings and with a loud yowl Ultraraptor leaps down toward the monster off of a building. Frankenstein ducks down, avoiding the dinosaur before grabbing U Raptor by the tail, swinging him around and tossing him into the side of a building. Frankenstein then grabs U Raptor by the neck and lifts it up, choking it. But all dromaeosauridae have large claws on their feet that Ultraraptor uses now, to stab Frankenstein’s stomach and forcing him to drop the dinosaur. U Raptor then lunges forward and locks his jaws on Frankenstein’s head before tearing away at his flesh with…his uh… I’m not allowed to go into to detail with what Ultraraptor just did but Frankenstein is dead and Ultraraptor is the winner.

Our next match is a four way duel between GTS Godzilla, the Graboid, Giant Scorpion and Queen Alien. The Queen Alien, Scorpion and Graboid have all been increased in size to match fifty-five meters in height or length and GTS Godzilla is shrunken down from sixty to fifty-five meters (all due to standardization). Now take note that this is a giant Graboid and is stronger than its normal sized counterpart. For example it can no longer be killed by running into solid surfaces and can move in a city terrain.

       VS             VS             VS      
GTS Godzilla                                      Graboid                                      Queen Alien                                      Giant Scorpion

AJ: And speaking of city terrain, the city these WMW superstars are ripping up is none other than, Detroit. The monsters are all teleported into the city, with Graboid starting out underground. The bell rings and as soon as GTS Godzilla takes his first step one of the Graboid’s jawed tentacles, smashes up through the concrete and bite GTS Godzilla’s ankle. GTS Godzilla uses his green flame to incinerate the tentacle before he too burrows under ground. The ground shakes and the terrain is ripped up as the two monsters continue fighting underground.

Tim: I forgot he could do that! Well we can’t see what’s going on so let’s watch as the Giant Scorpion goes head to head with the Queen Alien. The Scorpion roars (even though it’s not supposed to) and scurries at Queen Alien. It swings its massive pincers at the Xenomorph, however Queen Alien easily evades the attack. The scorpion thrusts its stinger tail at Queen Alien, but with a swing of her own tail, Queen of the Xenomorph’s severs the Scorpion’s. Giant Scorpion reaches up and snips off Queen Alien’s stinger with his left pincer and the acidic blood causes that pincer to dissolve away. The Scorpion then reaches up with its remaining claw and yanks Queen Alien to the ground, before using his claw like a hammer to beat the Xenomorph’s skull.

Looks like the Graboid just surfaced and GTS Godzilla’s tail is hanging out of his beak, mouth thing. I guess he beat him because now even the tail sinks down into its stomach. Graboid then sinks back into the ground.

Queen Alien has just finished off the Giant Scorpion by spraying him with that acid blood. She then gives off a cry of victory and one of the Graboid’s tentacles pops up from under ground and grasps on to Queen Alien’s ankle, only to have it’s teeth dissolved by the acidic content of Queen Alien’s blood. Suddenly Graboid crashes through the pavement and smashes the side of his head into Queen Alien, sending her crashing into a near by building. Graboid then falls onto the pavement and lies there. Suddenly a stream of green flame eats its way through Graboids form and the GTS Godzilla leaps out of its carved out corpse just as Queen Alien frees herself from the rubble and they then prepare for the battle that‘ll decide the winner of this match.

AJ: The two roar at each other for a moment before GTS Godzilla leaps onto Queen Alien and they both crash into the pile of ruble Queen Alien had just freed herself from and a cloud of dust engulfs the combatants. We can’t see much except for an occasional blast of green thermonuclear breath. Suddenly Queen Alien goes flying out of the cloud and smacks into another building. Godzilla then comes charging out of the cloud himself and tackles Queen Alien to the ground and pins…1...2 but QA uses her tail to bat GTS off of her. GTS Godzilla is the first to get back up and sends a blast of thermo breath at Queen Alien who rolls out of the way. QA gets up and body slams GTS Godzilla into an office building which just collapses with GTS Godzilla laying on it. Queen Alien leaps on GTS and tries to get him with her second set of jaws. GTS narrowly avoids the attack, and the second set of jaws smash into one of the windows of the fallen building. Godzilla kicks out, sending Queen Alien flying in the opposite direction and smashing through another building. Godzilla moves in and prepares to finish off Queen Alien with his thermo breath but gets kicked in the chest, knocking him to the ground and sending his shot straight up.

Tim: Queen Alien approaches her fallen adversary and stomps on his stomach. GTS Godzilla fights back and blasts her off of him with his green flame attack. GTS Godzilla gets to his feet and sets Queen Xenomorph aflame with his breath weapon. The burning Alien gets back to her feet and the startled GTS Godzilla turns tail and runs away from the burning monster. The chase doesn’t last long as GTS Godzilla turns around and finishes off Queen Alien with another blast of nuclear flames.

       VS             VS             VS      
Iguanosaurus                                      Giant Gila Monster                                      Giant Komodo Dragon                                      Kothoga

And now time to wrap up the show. Giant reptiles have always played the role of giant monsters in film, after film, after film in the history of US cinema. So our last match is between the Giant Gila Monster, the Iguanosaurus, and for the second time in WMW history, Kothoga and last but not least, the Giant Komodo Dragon. All of which are fifty foot in length.

AJ: The arena has been changed into Washington D.C., the Iguanosaurus and the Giant Gila Monster (ironically a Mexican beaded lizard was used for the film) have both been teleported in front of the white house and Giant Komodo and Kothoga are teleported in front of the Washington Memorial. Giant Komodo Dragon slaps the monument with his tail and roars before charging at Kothoga who cries back and surges forward as well. Kothoga cuts the side of Komodo Dragon’s body with his insect, mandibles and Komodo fights back by clawing at Kothoga’s side.

Tim: While this is happening Iguanosaurus slaps Gila in the side with his strong tail. Gila catches the tail in his mouth and begins to rip away at and fill with venom, but the toxins do not spread through Iguanosaurus as he breaks his tail in half.

AJ: Kothoga and Komodo have separated from each other but the soon changes when Komodo charges at his opponent and whacks the side of Kothoga’s head with his tail. Kothoga is lucky. That attack had quite some force in it but it seems as though his neck didn’t break. Kothoga gives off a low growl which soon becomes a savage battle cry before charging at Komodo and ramming him in the chest, and blood runs out of Komodo’s maw. Komodo bites down on Kothoga’s left front ankle and yanks him to the ground in front of him before stomping on his body to keep in place as he bites into Kothoga’s hide. But before he can sink his teeth into the monster, Kothoga throws Komodo off of him and slams him onto the Wahington Memorial. He approaches the Komodo before stomping on his stomach.

Tim: During this time the Iguanosaurus and Giant Gila Monster lock each other’s jaws together and begin to roll around, and claw at one another’s necks and stomachs. Giant Gila claws at Iguanosaur’s chest until the dinosaur releases him and Gila bites his hind leg. Iguanosaurus roars in agony then tears away at Gila’s side with his front claws. Gila Monster forces Iguanosaur off of him, and onto his back and smashing through the roof and doors of the white house.

AJ: But during this time Komodo uses his tail and swats Kothoga away and gets back onto his feet. Meanwhile Iguanosaurus frees himself from the White House and is bitten in the neck by Gila who goes to join a triangle battle with the Komodo Dragon and Kothoga. Kothoga charges and stabs Komodo in the side with his insect mandibles. Gila reaches the battle and bites into Komodo’s opposite side. Komodo seems to be loosing but he then swings he mighty tail. He hits Gila in the side of the head and has broken his neck. Now it’s down to Kothoga and Komodo.

Tim: Both monsters have been poisoned. There’s not much left to report. Whoever dies first is the looser I guess. Komodo has Gila Monster’s poison in his blood and Kothoga’s flesh is being eaten away at by Komodo’s toxic content of his spit.

AJ: Gross. Oh well. Komodo clamps his jaws down onto Kothoga’s ankle and wrestles him to the ground and tears through his flesh with his claws. Kothoga lifts his head up and bites Komodo’s leg and throws him off of him. Kothoga gets back up and bites that same leg again and shakes it in his razer teeth until Komodo gives him two tail whips to his side, forcing him to back away. Komodo gets up and roars at Kothoga who answers with his own roar and charges Komodo before falling to the ground. He seems to be dead! Komodo begins to eat Kothoga before he also dies from Gila’s poison.

Tim: I guess Komodo wins. Oh uh… Because of the time and effort taken up to write this episode it will be a little late for the actual episode to air.

Disclaimer: This episode was made for fun only. I do not think the US is better than any other country around the planet.

-Tim

WMW Co-Host