Tim: Hello and welcome to the currently only uodating section of the WMW, Fatal Friday Fights! We have some great match ups for you tonight and here with me are AJ, Matt Kong and G13.

AJ: Hello everyone.

Matt Kong: Hi.

G13: Word.

Tim: Our starter match tonight is none other than that crazy cephalopod from “Space Amoeba” versus the protector of Seaotopia, Megalon!

G13: I can’t decide which is more pathetic.

AJ: For this match, rather than having Gezora grow to match Megalon’s fifty-meter stature, Megalon will be down-sized to match Gezora’s height.

Matt Kong: The arena for this show-down will be an uneven forest arena with a clearing near a large lake.

Tim: So with no further preparations to be made let the battle begin!

       VS      
Megalon                                                   Gezora

Tim: Megalon is on the attack. As soon as the bell rings he’s out to fry Gezora with his napalm grenades. The crazed cuttlefish surges towards the insect, doing its best to avoid incoming projectiles, but failing miserably. Eager to enter the fray, Gezora soon closes the distance between the two absurd monsters. Megalon has to do something quick to escape the pummeling Gezora’s giving him. The cyborg backhands Gezora, giving him some elbow room before he beats the cuttlefish with the broad side of his drill hand. Gezora desperately fights back, socking Megalon in the gut with a curled up tendril. Megalon’s horn glows brilliant yellow. Having witnessed this before, Megalon reaches for a tree and rams it down Megalon’s throat. When the grenade fired, it impacted the tree and detonated in Megalon’s mouth. Megalon is thrown to the ground, smoke rising from his mandibles as the insect kaiju shrieks in pain and anger. Gezora doesn’t permit Megalon to have much time to feel sorry for himself. The cuttlefish takes a hold of Megalon’s horn and tosses him a short distance. Megalon quickly gets to his feet before uniting both hands into one big drill. The insect monster charges Gezora, no doubt intending to bore through the squid-like monster’s form. The space-germ infected cuttlefish moves to one side, and Megalon is too fast to change direction. Gezora swats him in the back and on the back of the head as he passes and Megalon hit’s the dirt again!

Matt Kong: He’s really not on his A-game today.

G13: I made up my mind. They’re both equally pathetic.

AJ: Megalon is back up pretty quick. Gezora boldly charges towards him but Megalon uses his horn laser to ask the cuttlefish if he wants to reconsider. Gezora must back away if he wants to avoid the electric discharge striking the ground in front of him. Having successfully driven Gezora back, Megalon decides to use the spare to time to dive underground. Gezora wait’s a number of minutes before jumping back, almost being skewered on the drill that had surfaced beneath it. Megalon leaps from the ground, using his wings to propel him high into the air before drill diving towards Gezora. Once again the mutated cephalopod barely avoids being dismembered and Megalon is back underground. Desperate for survival, Gezora retreats to the lake. Little does the stupid thing realize it just made things easier on Megalon. The great insect surfaces at the shore. Seconds later the body of water springs to life in bright flashes of light as Megalon discharges its horn lightning into the liquid. A weakened Gezora surges out of the water and tackles Megalon to the ground, the cephalopod depending up its freezing touch to finish Megalon. It even placed a tentacle on top of Megalon’s face for good measure. Unfortunately for Gezora, the cuttlefish seems to have forgotten all about Megalon’s grenade launcher and loses his tendril because of it. Gezora changes his mind on how he wants to defeat Megalon and begins beating the bug’s face back and forth with his tentacles. Megalon is quick to fight back, hitting Gezora at point blank range with a napalm grenade and leaving a flaming, charred spot where Gezora’s right eye used to be. Gezora is forced off of Megalon and the cyborg from Seaotopia retakes his bipedal stance. After a quick onservation Megalon hits Gezora with a short zap of electricity, the cuttlefish is knocked backwards. Megalon repeats the process again, forcing Gezora into shallow water. Megalon then discharges a continuous electric current into the water at the base of Gezora’s tentacles. The energy surges through the water and into Gezora’s body as the cuttlefish spasms uncontrollably from the high voltage. When the assault ends, Gezora is hardly able to stand. Unwilling to set himself up for another such attack, Gezora scrambles out of the water. The cuttlefish seizes trees and all manor of debris and begins tossing the grappled material at Megalon. Megalon doesn’t seem to be taking much damage and yet he taps out. Fishy. Gezora cries out in victory as Megalon is transported back to Monster Island.

[ Megalon arrives on Monster Island, returned to his fifty-five meter, standardized height. As soon as he arrives he immediately takes off to a set destination. The nearby-Kong, suspects something’s fishy and follows the insect in secret. After a short while Megalon comes to Viras.]

Viras: Well?

Megalon: They trust us. KOM’s plan is pulling together nicely.

King Kong: You mean, until you gave everything away!

[The startled outer space squid and cyborg beetle, jump around in surprise to face Kong]

Megalon: So you figured it out did you? Too bad. Now we have to kill you.

[ Kong doesn’t waste time with any come-backs and goes on the offensive. The great ape grabs Megalon by the horn and tosses him to the ground. He then turns to meet Viras in time to take a swat to the face. Angrily, Kong pounds Viras in the face, before lifting him over his head and smacking him down on Megalon before he elbow drops the two. Kong gets back up to continue beating down on the still-evil monsters when Megalon kicks his own partner, propelling him on top of Kong. Kong shoves Viras off of him and gets off of the ground to find Megalon no where in sight. The simian doesn’t have time to make too many guesses when Megalon springs up out of the ground behind him and uses the broad side of his drill hand to bat at the back of Kong’s head. Kong quickly swings around and grabs Megalon by the arm before hurling him downward in such a way that the bug rolls when it hit’s the dirt. Viras prepares for his yard-dart routine when he’s hit with a blue heat ray. The beam only causes minor burns, but it’s enough to get the space squid’s attention.

Viras turns to catch only a glimpse of a row of spinal plates disappearing behind a mountain side. Viras has a good idea about the identity of the mystery kaiju but if it were Gojira, wouldn’t he face them head-on? Suddenly a powerful grip seizes Viras’s pointed head as Kong holds his distracted foe in place as he continuously beats in his face. Kong’s beat down is cut short when a napalm grenade impacts his back and sets the primate aflame. The flaming Kong roars to Megalon before leaping onto him and beating the insects chest repeatedly. Viras attempts to help his ally but is too afraid to risk coming in contact with the burning ape. After soundly beating Megalon’s chest cavity in the great ape rolls across the ground to extinguish the flames. The vengeful Megalon and Viras then begin to beat down the hardly-conscious ape when the same beam of blue energy strikes Viras and Megalon.

The two look towards the mountain the beam originated from. Megalon gets ticked at the sniper-kaiju and takes off, flying to the mountain to identify Kong’s aid. ]

Megalon: Jiras!?!

Jiras: This is your last warning! Buzz off!

Megalon: You’re supposed to be on our side! You came to King of Mons. You wanted the power!

Jiras: No more!

[Megalon turns his attention to Viras, who is trying to hide Kong’s limp form.]

Megalon: Viras! Leave Kong, we’re going. The cat’s out of the bag, so let them know we mean business!

[Megalon flies away, leaving Jiras to his thoughts and allowing Viras to get his own ride back to their base.]

-Back to the Show-

Tim: Does it seem like we haven’t been doing anything in the last five minutes?

G13: What are you talking about now?

AJ: Seriously.

Matt Kong: I think he’s lost it.

Tim: Whatever! The next match tonight is between to of Gojira’s toughest enemies from the Showa series, Mechagodzilla, Gojira’s mechanical double, armed to the teeth with a wide array of projectile weapons and Hedorah, the smog absorbing, black slime ball that Gojira required human assistance to defeat! These two titans don’t like being close to each other!

G13: I can’t think of a better arena for two space-monsters to clash except in space. For this match up there will be no gravity in the dome and the two will battle in a field of asteroids.

Matt Kong: I love the way this guy thinks!

       VS      
Mechagodzilla                                                   Hedorah

Tim: Both space kaiju appear on the surface of the largest asteroid. Mechagodzilla wastes no time in opening the match up with a devastating missile attack from the launchers on his toes. Toxic sludge may have flown over to Mecha G and done some damage, had there been any gravity or air resistance in the arena! Instead Hedorah, and the blown apart slivers of toxic material are thrown upward from the blast and don’t come to a stop until they bounce off of the top of the dome to slam into a smaller asteroid bellow them. Hedorah swings his arms, doing his best to clear the dust out of face when he notices Mechagodzilla has elevated to the top of the dome with him. Mechagodzilla spreads a string of explosions across the asteroid Hedorah’s landed on with his finger missiles and eye-laser. Mechagodzilla then sends two missiles straight up, using the shockwaves emitted from the explosions to send him back to his kick-off point.

G13: When he finally reaches the largest asteroid, a saucer-shaped Hedorah passes by him, producing his acidic gas along the way. Mechagodzilla’s armor begins to corrode! The great mech uses his leg jets to escape the hazardous smog before it can deal any serious damage. A stream of red energy meets with the Bionic Monster’s back, throwing it forwards as sparks leap from the point of impact. Mecha G regains control with his jets and turns his body around. The mecha from space rewards the Smog Monster for its surprise attack with a finger missile. The war head strikes Hedorah between the eyes, summoning an explosion that throws Hedorah back to smash into an asteroid. Hedorah degenerates then reforms back into his bipedal shape. Hedorah launches a sludge ball from his chest, being that there is no air resistence the object will stay in motion until another force acts on it. In this case, that force is Mecha G’s arm. The corrosive, black stuff goes to work, exposing circuitry in the mechanized Godzilla’s arms. Mechagodzilla and Hedorah both realize its an effective attack. Hedorah launches a trio of black projectiles at Mechagodzilla but by this time the machine had already summoned its shield. Each projectile is burned away into a cloud of steam as they meet with the defensive energy. Hedorah tries his eye beams, fairing no better than the slop balls. Mechagodzilla lowers his defenses as his chest cavity opens, revealing a powerful energy cannon. An orange discharge races free of the mech’s chest to rake across Hedorah’s chest, leaving explosions and burns in its wake. Enraged, Hedorah kicks off, sending its form towards Mecha G, arms outstretched for an acidic bear-hug. Mechagodzilla has a bit of the advantage in this arena and uses his leg jets to evade Hedorah’s body slam. He then pivots around and uses the red beam he used to mimic Godzilla’s heat ray to strike Hedorah in the back. Hedorah is flung forward to meet with the side of the Snow Globe at mach five!

Mechagodzilla: Re-looking combat pattern… Current tactics, ineffective.

Hedorah: That’s right! You can smack me around all-day and it won’t work.

Mechagodzilla: Searching rules and regulations… Alternatives to destroying a foe: Keeping its shoulders to a surface for up to three seconds… Cast adversary out of arena for more than twenty seconds, force foe into tapping out with submission grapple…

Hedorah: Well good luck with all of that. You search the rule book for a way to beat me and I’ll just attack right now!

AJ: Hedorah takes back to his saucer form and takes off towards Mechagodzilla, tossing flames from the mech’s chest as the Smog Monster bombards the Bionic Monster with energy beams. After the sixth crimson wave of energy, Mechagodzilla is sick of taking abuse and launches his own beam weapon. The two energy fronts meet in a dramatic explosion, throwing both kaiju back to slam into the side of the Snow Globe.

Mechagodzilla: Scanning, Kiaju Archives. Profile: “Hedorah”. Cross references: “weaknesses”. Solution achieved. Hedorah: the Smog Monster is at risk of being dried out.

Hedorah: Likely that’ll happen. None of your attacks are strong enough.

Mechagodzilla: New data recognized. Re-evaluating strategy. Solution achieved. Redirecting all power to chest cannon may achieve high enough voltage. Probability of success: 28.5% . Scanning rules and regulations for alternatives. Alternative found: Even if foe reforms after being eradicated the previous destruction brings upon a foe’s defeat.

Hedorah: You’ll never get that chance!

Tim: Hedorah is back on the attack, this time Mechagodzilla isn’t so fortunate. He uses his jets to evade Hedorah’s bulky form, this time Hedorah holds out his arm, clothes lining Mecha G. Leaving black substance across his shoulder and forearm. Steam rises before the arm floats away from Mecha G’s body in zero-gravity. Mechagodzilla doesn’t have a chance to exam the sparking stump left of his left-forearm as he is sent spiraling backwards. Mechagodzilla retakes control of his body with his jets and, uses his head turret to scan the arena. Upon discovering Hedorah surging toward him, Mecha G quickly turns around and launches a missile from every port on his neck, knee-caps, toes and remaining fingers. The assault creates an explosion with such force that both combatants are propelled back to opposite ends of the arena. Alon the way, Mechagodzilla comes across his arm. Thinking quickly, the metallic titan seizes its severed limb. Hedorah reaches an asteroid and spring boards off of it towards Mecha G. Mechagodzilla uses his foot rockets to elevate himself to a point in which he is in front of a huge asteroid. Hedorah smacks a small asteroid, so he can set himself on a crash course with Mechagodzilla. When Hedorah closes the gap, Mechagodzilla pulls away at the last minute. Hedorah smacks, face first into the asteroid. Before he can peal himself off of the wall, Mecha G rams his own severed arm through Hedorah,s back and into the space rock. Hedorah’s toxic body immediately takes to effect and rapidly wears down the space titanium. The arm manages to leave Hedorah in place long enough for Mechagodzilla to redirect all excess power to his chest cannon. The result: a discharge so powerful it pushes Machagodzilla backwards, wash over Hedorah, into the asteroid causing the rock to explode. Readings show that Hedorah has been eradicated and Mechagodzilla is still functional. The Bionic Monster is the ultimate Showa Cosmic Monster!

AJ: Well.. We'd hate to cut the show short, but this is all we have ready. Sorry.

Matt Kong: We'll be back again next Friday and you had better be too!

G13: What he said!

Tim: Also, the Roster and Match Records are just too hard to keep updated so they will be deleted in favor of new editions to the site. Good-bye and good-night!