Kavu: Welcome back everyone! I've finally returned after my little vacation. I sincerely hope my cousin filled in pretty nicely while I was gone.
Rei: Don't worry about that Kavu. Lora did very good and she said, and I quote, "I'd be happy to fill in if either you or my cousin is every out doing something else". She's not that bad a person as you put it Kavu.
Kavu: I never said she was "bad". I only said that when you get to know her she can become a big pain. Either way we're forgetting our match off today. Ahem, today's match will pit two humanoid(human-like) Kaiju against each other.
Rei: These Kaiju are none other than the, unknown, Jet Jaguar and the well known Ultraman! But in this match we have decided to change the rules a little bit. Each Kaiju can only use physical attacks, such as punching, kicking, etc. This will make the fight more interesting, give each Kaiju a different approach to the situation, and make each Kaiju on an equal battling level.
Rei: And for this only physical match I thought it would only be fitting if we place our contestants in a original boxing arena! And to spice things up a little you CAN NOT exit the arena, also I've kind of placed some chairs, pipes, tables, and the likes. So lets get this very hardcore battle on its way!
Jet Jaguar v.s. Ultraman
The two Kaiju are teleported into a different side of the arena and are awaiting the bell to signal the match has begun. *DING DONG*! And there off! Jet Jaguar gives Ultraman no time to prepare as he immediately pushes him into the top right corner and starts to punch, kick, knee, karate chop, etc. Now that he's in a corner and also being beaten up, Ultraman can only defend himself from Jet Jaguar's brutal onslaught. Or so YOU think. In a blinding flash of light Ultraman disappears, then reappears behind Jet Jaguar! Obviously surprised by this Jet Jaguar has no time to react as Ultraman grabs him and then slams him into and through a table! Getting up on one knee Jet Jaguar looks up and sees Ultraman grabbing the two broken pieces of the table and him fixing to slam them into his sides. And that's what Ultraman does, or what he would of done because Jet Jaguar has blocked the table pieces! And with a mighty punch sends Ultraman flying back into the ropes. Ultraman is given enough time to regain his balance, when he sees Jet Jaguar mocking him (he is doing the little waving hand motion), well you got a pretty good idea that he's not a very happy! And that really shows when Ultraman pulls out his Slash Ray and charges Jet Jaguar. But Jet Jaguar is just sitting there!? Ultraman is getting closer. And Jet Jaguar is still not moving!? Come on Jet Jaguar you better move if you don't want your head chopped off! As Ultraman goes for the swing Jet Jaguar seems to disappear at the last second!? Has Jet Jaguar learned a new trick from one of his Kaiju friends? Nope. He just used an old trick at the right time, he shrunk himself. And Ultraman soon sees that when Jet Jaguar is climbing his leg, punching and kicking certain parts along the way. Of coarse any Kaiju being hit on a presser point would try and make it stop. But Ultraman goes a bit overboard as he snags mini Jet Jaguar and starts to break him in two! One solution, Jet Jaguar regains his normal size, then back fists Ultraman in the face! Owe!Stumbling backwards Ultraman peers and sees Jet Jaguar, not taunting him THIS time, but swinging a chair at him!!! Ultraman catches the chair, only to have Jet Jaguar let go and karate chop him in the shoulder then jump kick his side! I guess Jet Jaguars been training a lot ever since he lost that one match. Ultraman is now pretty much at his tolerant level and switches on his See-Through Ray (which is not illegal because its not damaging Jet Jaguar in any way). With swift and agile strikes Ultraman hits each and everyone of Jet Jaguar's . . . um . . . nerve endings. Sending Jet Jaguar into a world of pain, causing him to drop to the floor. Ultraman lifts him up and is about to lunge Jet Jaguar out of bounds. But hold on folks, this match isn't done for . . . well . . . not just yet anyway. Jet Jaguar does an incredibly smart thing. He changes his size yet again, but this time instead of going small . . . he goes BIG! Not being able to hold up the immense weight that Jet Jaguar now weighs, Ultraman lets go and is slammed and trapped by Jet Jaguar's thousand ton weight. Instead of choking him to death or having him admit defeat Jet Jaguar grows small again? But not back to normal "small". Instead he goes into his mini form for some reason? Ultraman gets up and makes three full rotations, to make sure he didn't miss Jet Jaguar. And to him Jet Jaguar is gone, either ran away or gave up. Ultraman is now waiting for the judges to call him the victor, but when the don't he starts to get a little edgy. I mean wouldn't you if you didn't see your opponent then the judges didn't call you the winner? Because that can only mean one of two things, 1.) You opponent is still around somewhere and 2.) The judges also don't know were the opponent is. So Ultraman starts to franticly search around for Jet Jaguar. But he is no where to be found!? Have you guessed where are tiny Jet Jaguar has gone too? Well you'll soon find out. Ultraman is now tearing up the boxing arena in search for Jet Jaguar, and look he's getting so mad he's twitching! But Ultraman isn't twitching because he's mad, oh no, it's another . . . tinier reason. In another flash of light Ultraman becomes his plain old human form, Shin Hayata! And holding Shin's arm behind his back and holding in his other hand, past where Shin can reach, is a very happy and triumphant Jet Jaguar!
Rei: I don't get it? Where did Jet Jaguar go? And why on Earth did Ultraman change back into Shin when he knew Jet Jaguar was still out there?
Kavu: Oh, Rei, Rei, Rei, Rei, Rei, Rei. You don't get it do you.
Rei: Well if I did do you think I would be asking those questions! In fact I bet about halve of the audience didn't understand what happened either! So if your so smart why don't you tell us "normal people"what the heck just happened!
Kavu: Fine, if you have to have me explain it. Jet Jaguar has natural size changing abilities. And also Jet Jaguar can reprogram himself for any combat situations. So when he realized that brute strength wasn't going to be his key to winning, Jet Jaguar relied on his "brains". You see Rei Shin Hayata can only become the Ultraman when he is holding the pen-like Beta Capsule. And so all Jet Jaguar had to do was shrink down small enough to get to it. Once Jet Jaguar was able to take the Beta Capsule and change Ultraman back into Shin Hayata, the match would of been declared the winner.
Rei: I still don't get why he won. Okay, I know that he was able to change Ultraman back into Shin Hayata, but after that why was he declared the victor?
Kavu: Easy answer Rei, isn't the match titled "Humanoid Battle: Jet Jaguar v.s. Ultraman"? Well is it not?
Rei: Yeah, of coarse it is! That is what it says. But I still don't- OH! I get it now! Since it was Ultraman that Jet Jaguar was supposed to be fighting and not Shin Hayata, when Jet Jaguar changed him into Shin he won! Because Ultraman was no longer there to fight! I get it now!
Kavu: And I must admit, that was a very good plan Jaguar. I hope this new found winning streak goes on for a little while. And as for everyone out there who just saw the amazing fight . . . bye-bye.
2 More Weeks Until The Final Showdown!
