Title: Big Blue
Author: Scorch
Rating: Light R for subtext
Category: Humour
Content: C/A
Summary: Angel uncovers Cordy's secret!
Disclaimer: I own nixies
Distribution: AO & Cal's place, please ask author
Notes: This has been stashed away in my PM archive for ages. Thanks Cal for
going over it for me, I love you!!
It was late afternoon when Angel woke up, the curtains protecting him from the
fatal rays of the sun and the soft cotton sheets wrapped around him. The vampire
slowly sat up, shaking the last vestiges of sleep and stretching his well
muscles arms, yawning. After quickly getting dressed, Angel headed out of
Cordelia's guest room and into the kitchen where he proceeded to gape in horror
at the daily mess his seer created.
"That girl could live in a pig sty" Angel muttered as he began to tidy away what
Cordelia had left lying around. At the back of his mind, he vaguely wondered if
Dennis had gone on strike or if she had just given her phantom room-mate the day
off.
Speaking of Cordelia, if she wasn't in the kitchen then where was she?
After the all too recent Vocah issue, Angel had become essentially paranoid
about his seer's whereabouts at all times. He walked through the kitchen and
into the living room, chocolate eyes looking for any sign of the wily brunette.
Any sign that wasn't the pile of clothes on the back of the couch, or the
array of colourful shoes strewn around and certainly not a selection of tiny
scraps of material that surely had no purpose being used as underwear!
Angel frowned heavily, glaring at the mess in the living room and reminded
himself that this was her house and if she wanted to have mess then she could
have mess. He wasn't going to clean up her mess, she could do it all by herself-
if she was adult enough to make it then she was adult enough to clean it up!
The annoyed and slightly disgruntled vampire trudged back into the kitchen,
determined to ignore the untidy state and not give in to his compulsive urge to
tidy up the lot.. "Afternoon Dennis" Angel greeted gruffly as he clicked the
kettle on for some coffee then got back to the task of wondering where she had
gone to.
"Do you know where she went?" he asked, voicing his question and waiting for the
notepad Dennis floated over in his direction.
SHOPPING
"Great," Angel replied sarcastically "I wonder if she has enough floor space for
more clothes"
I DOUBT IT
Chuckling at the ghost's answer, the vampire continued to make his coffee in
silence.
HUNGRY?
Angel raised an amused eyebrow at the written question, "No thanks" he replied
with a half smile, his life certainly wasn't boring since he moved in with
Cordelia that's for sure.
Taking his coffee, he walked back into the living room and looked for a clean
space where he could sit without crinkling any of her clothes. With a little
shake of his head, the vampire took a sip of his hot coffee and gave into the
urge to clean up. Not a lot, just enough so he had a place to sit and wait for
her to come home, he assured himself.
"Where to start" he muttered, Angel took a deep unnecessary breath and began to
move some of the clothes to one side. A frown started to wrinkle his brow as he
moved the garments, "I really should fold" so he started folding.
Soon, he was placing her clothes into neat, little piles blouses and tops in
one, skirts and pants in another, and socks and underwear in the last pile.
Angel felt a little weird touching her underwear but if he ever wanted to sit
comfortably, he was going to have to move them.
"Doesn't this girl own anything more than a scrap of silk?" he asked himself as
he held up a tiny blue silk thong between his thumb and forefinger. "What
possible use could this be?" Apart from giving him fantasies that he shouldn't
be having! Shrugging off the direction thoughts were heading, Angel continued
through the pile of underwear.
Finally, his work was done and Angel looked down in pride, he had taken on the
scary world of Cordelia's wardrobe and won! Settling on the couch, he relaxed
and sighed with contentment as he waited impatiently for Cordelia to come home
from shopping, dreading the thought of more clothes for him to fold into piles
tomorrow.
Another frown worked it's way onto his brow. As Cordelia had been gracious
enough to let him come live with her while he looked for a place of his own, the
least he could do was put her clothes away for her. Angel uncurled his body from
the comfortable position he was in and began the task of taking her clothes into
her bedroom so he could put them away.
Placing the armload of clothes onto the unmade bed, Angel moved to open a drawer
near the closet. His body went still, his chocolate eyes went wide and his jaw
hit the floor. Slamming it shut and closing his eyes, he willed away what he'd
been looking at; surely he was wrong and that wasn't what he thought it was?
Opening the drawer again, Angel saw the object still in place slightly hidden by
her chemises. Why oh why did he have to put her clothes away? The large,
jelly-like blue object lay there, holding his stunned gaze like a
ready-to-strike rattlesnake; little flashes of fantasies quickly flooded his
brain and caused blood to rapidly flow in the wrong direction.
He snapped the drawer shut and scuttled out of Cordelia's bedroom, cursing
himself and his good deed for the day. Angel kept his mouth in a tight line
while he made some more, stronger coffee and then decided to wait in his room
for Cordelia to come home. After all, he didn't want to make more of a mess on
her bed or couch!
~*~*~*~*~*
It wasn't that much later when Cordelia returned from her shopping, with fewer
purchases than she normally would have due to recent lack of work -all thanks to
their office blowing up, and that was all Wolfram and Hart's fault.
"Hey Dennis," the brunette greeted a little tiredly as she shut the door behind
her "I had some great lunch at the mall today, the ice cream sundae I had was
huge. I don't know how I managed to eat it all, have a good day?"
The air swirled around her as Dennis gave her an answer of sorts.
Smiling happily, Cordelia dumped her bags on the tidy couch, immediately
noticing her clothes had been moved. "Did you do this?" she asked Dennis as she
carelessly kicked off her shoes and flopped onto the couch.
The lights flickered, signalling no.
"Then... Angel, aww he's so sweet isn't he?" Cordelia asked, happy with the fact
that she had no housework to do. Her worst nightmare was housework; any form of
housework at all. "I'd better go say thank you! I doubt he's eaten today, so
I'll heat him up something special -maybe add that cinnamon I've been dying to
try. Oh, hey Angel" she greeted when the vampire in question walked into the
living room, avoiding all eye contact.
"Been up long?" Cordelia asked, looking at him expectantly.
"A while. You didn't leave a note to say where you were going" Angel pointed
out, staring at an interesting spot on the wall.
"I wasn't gonna be long" she pointed out "Besides, I thought you'd be glad of
the peace and quiet"
"You still could have left a note or you could have rang" that wallpaper was
really very nice. "I...We... Wes and I worry about you"
"I know, but I'm a big girl Angel and I can take care of myself sometimes"
Cordelia replied, not noticing how Angel took her words the wrong way.
I just bet you can! He thought, before shaking those bad, bad thoughts
away. Angel still refused to make eye contact due to the image in his head of
her laying naked on her bed doing... Nothing. Cordelia wouldn't be laying naked
on her bed, she would be in bed. Wearing pyjamas and sleeping soundly.
"I know you can" God, this conversation was going to get worse, Angel could feel
it and he was powerless to stop it without revealing his discovery.
"I learned a while ago that a woman can't always count on a man to things for
her" Cordelia carried on, totally unaware of the direction of Angel's thoughts.
"Maybe the, uh, woman is with the wrong man if he can't... Take care of her"
Angel reasoned, crossing his legs he relaxed against the wall, folding his arms
over his chest, he continued to study the wallpaper. Although he knew she wasn't
completely innocent, he still didn't like to think of Cordelia as being active
in that way. It was far too much temptation for him.
"What exactly are we talking about here?" Cordelia asked with narrowed eyes,
sensing Angel wasn't talking about what she thought he was talking about but she
quickly grew distracted. "Oh thanks for cleaning my laundry up by the way, you
didn't have to I was gonna do it when I got home. Did you put them on my bed?"
"Yeah" Angel crossed his legs tighter and ignored the images that wouldn't go
away.
"Thanks, I don't know what I'm going to do when you're not here to take care of
me"
Angel pulled the edge of his sweater down to cover as much of his groin area as
possible, but he couldn't stop his words. "I thought you could take care of
yourself" he pointed out a little smugly.
"I can" Cordelia countered easily, "But it's sooo much better when somebody else
does all the work while I just lay back and enjoy myself"
"I don't know, there's something attractive about a girl who can take care of
herself" Angel contradicted, and if his currant fantasies were anything to go by
then he certainly believed what he was saying.
"Maybe, but I thought guys liked to feel all manly and I really find that
take-control thing way hot"
I take control, I can dominate if that's what you like. Quickly
swallowing a groan, Angel decided to change the subject. Gesturing to her
shopping bags with a little glance, "What did you buy?"
"Some batteries and general stuff that I use to take care of myself" Cordelia
answered with a deep sigh, not realising she had just dropped herself in it
completely. Standing up, she stretched her arms wide, inhaled deeply then
exhaled. She let her arms flop to her sides before turning to face Angel with
that cute, little smile that made him forget the word 'No'.
"How do feel about taking care of me now?" she asked in a little voice with
battering eyelashes and twisting her shoulders back and forth.
"We can't... I can't..." Angel told her in a pained voice, looking at her for
the first time that night "Not that I don't want to because I'd really, really
like to take care of you but the curse..."
"What has your curse got to do with you making me coffee?" Cordelia asked in
confusion.
The vampire was sure his heart had just started to beat and by the look on her
face she knew something was up with him. A blind man would have known something
was up with him- For crying out loud, he was just up!
"I think we got crossed wires here..." Angel tried to get himself out of it as
best he could "When you said you wanted me to take care of you I thought you
meant..."
"Sex? Geez Angel!" Cordelia exasperated with accompanying eye rolling, "I was
talking about coffee, and just for the record I don't need a man to take care of
me sexually either"
"I know" Angel replied a little too quickly.
That stopped her forthcoming rant, narrowing her eyes to dangerous slits his
seer looked at Angel suspiciously. "What did you mean by that? How do you know?
And why are you standing like you're constipated?"
I found your little, or should I say large, sex toy IAngel silently
snapped.
Only his response wasn't all that silent.
"Did you just say you found my large sex toy?" Cordelia demanded, a flush
creeping up her neck and face as she watched the vampire closely for his
response. He seemed to go completely still while the realisation that he had
just spoke aloud set in. "You went peeking through my stuff?"
"No, I was putting your clothes away and found it in your underwear drawer. I
didn't mean to see it Cordy, I swear. But it just there" Angel told her in
defence. Well, she should keep personal things like that better hidden if she
didn't want him to see them. "It was all there looking big a-and blue. What are
you doing using a blue...?"
"Who says I use it?" Cordelia demanded hotly, "For all you know it could have
been a birthday gift" she barked at him. But she knew she had been busted big
time and there was no way to deny it either.
"Oh come on, Cordy" Angel pushed off the wall, careful to keep walking
straight, and moved so he was nearer her. "You can't tell me that you don't use
it"
"I don't use it" she lied "See, I can too say it. Besides, what the hell is
wrong with a little self-play anyway? We all do it at some point or another,
hell I bet you probably do it more than me!"
"But I don't use anything that looks like blue jelly!" he half yelled at her.
"A-Ha!" Cordelia exclaimed triumphantly "See! I knew you spanked your moppet!"
"I spanked my what?" Angel gaped, his voice raising to the highest pitch she'd
ever heard while his eyebrows reached unprecedented heights. Her choice of words
were colourful and tact wasn't her strong point, but moppet?
"You know! Weener, Little Guy, Tiny Tim, Moby Dick, The Purple Headed Yoghurt
Shooter!" Cordelia was highly amused and it showed, she was practically bouncing
up and down on the spot at Angel's more than stunned expression.
"Will you just stop?" Angel yelped, he had never expected her to be so crude or
totally unembarrassed by the way this conversation had gone. "Cordy, I get your
point okay?! I think even that plant in the corner got your point!"
"Everybody does it, it's not like it's an uncommon contagious disease or
something. To be honest, I never thought you'd get embarrassed by such a little
thing like this. Or large as the case may be!" Cordelia said with a huge grin at
the shocked vampire staring at her as if she'd grown two heads.
"And lets face it, I had to find something while dating Xander Harris!"
The End