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Getting On

Tisienne Blue

Part Nine

“Oh… God…”

How many times had Will reduced him to those two words, Xander wondered. More than he could count, he was sure… if he’d been able to count, which he couldn’t at the moment.

In fact, at that very instant, all Xander could do was try his best not to snatch his lover bald. It was a close thing, though. “William… baby…” he groaned, eyes squeezed tightly shut as he restrained the thrusting of his hips to mere rocking.

William had warned the man, hadn’t he? He was sure he had. He clearly remembered saying something about tasting Xander the moment they knew they were both free of anything unwanted, and since they were, well…

The voice on the phone had barely finished speaking when William’s finger ended the call and it was scarcely an instant later that he’d flung himself down the length of the couch, lips hard against his bloke’s while he tore desperately at Xander’s jeans.

And he was desperate. A fellow could only wait so long, after all, and while it had been years since he’d practiced this particular skill, he’d figured it was rather like riding a bicycle.

He’d figured right, he told himself happily, lips, tongue and teeth fully occupied with the thick, fragrant shaft currently sliding in and out of his mouth.

His hands moved slowly over lightly haired thighs, pushing denim down then slipping between strong, muscular legs and roaming higher, higher… and when he swallowed wildly, feeling the broad head of his love’s cock at the back of his throat, William couldn’t help moaning.

“Oh… G-god…” Xander whispered, ready to blow after less than two minutes of William’s hot, wet mouth. And then that unbelievably talented tongue was at his tip, delving wantonly into his tiny slit and he could feel the constant pulses of pre-cum growing stronger, more copious, and when that incredible mouth slid fully over him once more and he felt the soft exhaled breaths in the coarse hairs at his base, his fingers tightened, holding Will right where he was. “Baby! God, I’m…”

Dear Lord, his throat was full, and it was lucky that he’d never lost the trick of this because he was certain he’d have been choking otherwise. As it was, though, William merely moaned his own pleasure around the thick, welcome intrusion, flexing his throat wickedly as Xander’s voice went higher, then lower… and when his lover cried out, arching even deeper into his mouth, William nearly came, himself.

The thick, rich shots of seed seemed to go on forever, though after the first few, Xander’s hold relaxed slightly, letting Will pull back a bit to catch the taste on his tongue. Musky, a little bitter, but sweet all the same… ‘and bloody well addicting,’ William thought with satisfaction. ‘Never going to do anything to screw this up. Love him too much to lose him…’

Colored sparks danced behind Xander’s eyelids and he whimpered helplessly as Will lapped slowly at his softening shaft. He almost wanted to check whether the blond had literally blown his mind, but… that would mean letting go of Will’s hair and he didn’t think he could do that; not even when the man pulled back, letting the sated member rest against Xander’s thigh.

“Jesus,” he whispered, his eyes slowly fluttering open to look down into blue eyes darkened with satisfied gluttony. “Jesus, Will. That… you…”

William couldn’t help the smirk that twitched at his lips and he didn’t even try. “I admit to being a good bit out of practice, luv, but don’t worry. It’ll be better next time.” He ignored the sharp twinges in his bad leg and pushed himself slowly up the length of his lover’s strong body. “Promise you that much, pet,” he added, staring into half-lidded brown eyes and leaning down for a long, deep kiss as he felt Xander’s hands release his hair to slide down to his fabric covered rear.

“Bloody hell,” he groaned against red, panting lips when those thick fingers spread and pulled him hard against the work-toned body beneath him. “Xander…”

Even with having just cum, Xander felt his body tightening once more. A few more kisses, and he thought he’d be ready for another go, but… He flexed his hands, fingers digging deep into round cheeks, and he offered up a prayer to whatever saint listened to queers that Will wouldn’t freak out about what he wanted to ask him.

He ended the kiss slowly, gently, even while wishing it would go on forever. “God, baby… you’re so hard. So fucking hard and hot and Jesus, your mouth is fucking amazing! I… God, I hope you’re kidding about getting better because you’ll likely kill me if you do…”

William groaned again, the tight grip on his bottom stopping him from seeking the friction he so desperately needed. He rocked slightly against Xander’s lower abdomen, a small keening sound leaving him when the bloke’s hands held him harder. “Xander… please! Please, I need…” he bit his lip, trying again for blessed friction as his bad knee twinged from the angle it was bent to.

“I know. I know, baby. You need to cum, right?” Xander whispered, meeting wild blue eyes with nervous brown. “Hell, Will. If I hadn’t just shot down your throat, I’d have you bent over the back of this couch and you’d be cumming already, wouldn’t you?”

William groaned again, deeper this time. “Bloody fucking tease… Please, luv. Pet. Xan… please. Need to… bloody well hurts, luv…”

“Shhhhh… shhh, baby,” a whisper again, this time against one heated pink ear. “You’re gonna cum, Will. I just…” Xander swallowed hard and forced himself to keep looking into Will’s eyes. “If you’re that good with your mouth, baby, I… I kind of wonder how much better it’d feel to have you… inside. Um, inside me, I mean, and… and if you don’t want to, that’s fine, I just…” He gave his blond a sheepish smile. “I’ve been thinking about it. A lot. Ever since that first night, and… and… um, never mind, okay? I… I don’t know what I was thinkinmmmmpppphhhh…”

It had taken him a good few moments to catch up with Xander’s words; mostly because he hadn’t been able to believe that he was understanding correctly. Xander—big, strong, manly Xander—wanted him to… take him? Well, apparently, and William couldn’t find even a single part of himself that objected to the idea. Still, it had taken long seconds to process the request and try to find a response that wouldn’t seem too eager, and clearly those moments had been too long because Xander was trying to take it back and William couldn’t let that happen. Not when the unexpected but wonderful offer was something he wanted so badly himself. So William did the only thing he could think of to make his intense desire clear. He cut off his bloke’s words with a kiss, shifting a bit for comfort.

And God, he was drowning in Will. Losing himself in the soft lips that were so hard on his; in the tongue that was sweeping through his mouth with reckless abandon and Xander could only hope it was because Will wasn’t upset at him asking. Then those pale, elegant fingers were pushing his t-shirt up and how sad was it that he’d only just realized he was still mostly clothed? Hell, his jeans were tangled around his boots and Will’s light, beautiful skin was completely shrouded in linen and silk.

“Shit… stop!” he grunted, the words emerging garbled around Will’s tongue although the blond seemed to understand them just fine.

Bloody hell. He’d waited too long and now he’d lost his chance. When would he learn to stop thinking and just do? ‘Probably never,’ William admitted silently, even as he let the slightly larger man break their kiss. ‘I’ve gotten used to thinking since the accident. It was all I could do for the first six months, after all, what with the traction…’ But he couldn’t tell Xander that unless he wanted it to sound like an excuse, so…

“Sorry, luv,” he said quietly, failing miserably at keeping the disappointment from his voice, “I was just… well. As you said, never mind.” He closed his eyes, trying to force his erection away. “I… I can cum later, Xander. Don’t worry about me.”

Large hands released their tight grip, then began stroking slowly as Xander frowned. “Of course I worry about you, baby. I lo… look, I didn’t mean stop like stop forever, okay? I just…” He shrugged, his lips finding one sharp cheekbone and brushing it lightly. “I’m kind of tangled up, here. I… it’d probably be a good idea if we got naked first, y’know?”

Once again, it took William’s mind a few moments to get up to speed, but he could forgive himself that because Xander hadn’t changed his mind! He wasn’t regretting asking and William was suddenly even more ready than he’d been a few minutes earlier. “Anybody ever tell you you’re bloody well brilliant, luv?” he managed to say, his heart melting at the huge, happy smile his bloke was suddenly sporting. Bad leg be damned, he wasn’t going to move until Xander forced him to, and even then, it would be the kind of motion that would make him forget the short but sharp shooting pains in his leg. Yeah.

“Only you, baby,” Xander murmured, his hands sliding up and down Will’s spine slowly. “Only you.”

A soft, gentle snort. “Just goes to show that most people are bloody well stupid, then.” A deep, wanton kiss. “Naked, you said?”

Xander laughed, his voice just as shaky as his body. “Yeah, I’m thinking naked would be good. And maybe… bed, too.”

And as plans went, that one sounded bloody well perfect to William.


Unfortunately for both men, their immediate desires were thwarted by William’s bad leg when the blond tried to get up from the couch and nearly toppled over with a loud, pained cry, catching himself precariously on the edge of the coffee table. “Fuck…” he whimpered, the pain doing what nothing else had accomplished and driving his throbbing need fully away.

“Jesus… Jesus, Will, don’t move!” Xander was pretty sure he’d never managed to get out of his work boots and jeans so quickly before in his life, but it was either lose them completely or spend even more time trying to get the pants unwrapped from the boots and William was in pain! More to the point, William was in pain and looking stubborn. The last thing Xander would allow was for his lover to hurt himself more by trying to play it off.

Bloody hell, he was acting like an enormous ponce! Xander was going to think he was useless. Or worse, far too fragile. If only his bloody leg hadn’t chosen that precise moment to give out on him, he could have been in his bed… and in Xander, which was the true tragedy as far as William was concerned. “Piss off,” he snarled to the concerned tone. “I’m fine, I am! Just a sodding twinge is all!”

One hand pushed off from the solidity of the table and William cried out again as his leg refused to bear any more weight. “Fuck… bloody fucking… sorry. Sorry, Xan. Just a pathetic poof, aren’t I, pet? Won’t blame you for being done with me now…” And he supposed the tears slipping down his cheeks were caused by the pain… and his sorrow, equally.

There was no answer Xander could make to the assumption that wouldn’t sound angry and so he said nothing. He simply pushed himself from the couch, leaving jeans and boots in a tangled heap, and scooped William up carefully.

He shook his head when the blond tried to speak, afraid of what might come out of his own mouth at the moment. William thought he would leave him because his leg wasn’t as strong as the rest of him? Thought he was pathetic because of it? Fuck. They were going to have words, and soon, but… not right then. Not when he was so fucking worried about his blond.

It didn’t take long to carry William through the enormous apartment, and even less time to start the bath filling once he’d set the man down on the closed commode. Linen and silk came off easily, as did his own t-shirt, and he lifted the slightly smaller body again, setting it with great care in the big, sunken tub before taking a position directly in front of Will, the distressed leg and knee cradled gently in his hands.

“Xander,” William began hesitantly, only to stop when the younger man growled. “I just…”

“Not. A. Word,” Xander hissed, fingers moving carefully over the now-swollen joint.


Another, louder growl. “Just shut the fuck up, William. I can’t even…” Xander tried his best not to glare at the blond but he couldn’t help it any more than he could help the words that flew from his lips on a wave of fear and fury.

“How dare you let this happen, Will? How dare you hurt yourself like this! And for what? To suck me off? Fuck! I hate this! I hate it that you don’t seem to care if you cripple yourself! I care, William! And okay, it sucks that you even had that accident but how can you deliberately make it worse? How can you not see how much it hurts me to see you in pain at all, much less because of me?”

William whimpered just a bit as the gentle hands rubbed harder at his abused flesh. “I… I didn’t mean… bloody hell, Xander, I… I just wanted to be… normal; to give you what we both want and d-deserve…”

And oh God, he was hurting Will even more just by speaking but Xander couldn’t seem to stop. “You’re never going to be normal, baby. Don’t you know that? You…” He swallowed hard as most of his anger drained away at Will’s stricken look. “William. We can’t change what happened, right? It’s just… the way it is. You have a bad leg. We work around that, don’t we? So what made you think you had to hurt yourself? I… Jesus, Will. I’ve never seen you as pale as you were before. I could almost smell the pain rolling off of you. I can’t…”

Xander bit his lip and looked down at the tender knee in his hands.

“I can’t be with you if I don’t know you won’t do that again, okay? I… this—us—is supposed to be about pleasure, not pain. And that’s not me trying to break up with you, baby. I… the last couple weeks have been amazing and I don’t want to let you go but…” Hot brown eyes looked up again, finding pain-filled blue. “I need you to promise me, Will. Promise me you’ll say something when you start to hurt, okay? Because I can’t spend the rest of my life wondering if you’re pushing yourself too much out of some bizarre concept of what’s ‘normal’!”

He was breathing just as hard as Xander was, although William suspected it was for an entirely different reason. ‘The rest of my life’, Xander had just said, which seemed to—had to—imply a degree of permanence that they hadn’t even begun to talk about. And Xander wasn’t talking to him as though he were weak or helpless, but as an equal, and…

“I… I’m sorry,” William said again, this time sure of what he was apologizing for. “It’s… hard for me, luv. To believe you see me as a man and not as some broken child who needs to be taken care of.” He blushed deeply. “Ever since the accident…” William sighed. “Even my brother treats me as though I need someone to hold my hand while crossing the street. Of course, he also believes me to be mentally incompetent, for the most part, but… But I should have known better with regards to you. I… I’ve never wanted you to think of me as helpless, is all. Or as a project.”

He was entirely unaware of the bitterness in his own voice on those last words, but Xander wasn’t. In fact, the brunette made a mental note to find out more soon, even if it meant calling in a few favors, but he didn’t voice that thought. Instead, he let his hands move slowly but firmly over William’s leg, fingers finding the worst of the abused areas and soothing tightened muscles while the rising hot water leeched some of the pain away.

His eyes held Will’s and if more emotion than he was ready to speak of showed in his gaze, Xander really didn’t care. “I’ll hold your hand even when we’re not crossing the street, baby,” he finally said with a small but sincere smile, “Once you promise me. No ignoring what your body tries to tell you, okay? That’s a deal breaker. I can’t watch you…” He frowned.

William nodded slowly, his heart in his throat. “My word, luv. Don’t want to lose you, do I? Been happier these last weeks than…” His smile was sheepish but hopeful, even while tinged with the slowly fading agony in his leg. “Just wish I could be whole for you, pet. Wish you didn’t have to… hold back for fear of hurting me.”

And that was his real problem, William knew. He hated it that Xander couldn’t do some of the things he was sure the other man wanted to do with him because of his bloody bum leg. Hell, he doubted that Xander would ever offer to let him inside again after what had happened this time, and… “It was getting better, you know. Before tonight. More flexible, stronger. Then I had to go bollocks-ing it up, didn’t I? Story of my bloody life, that.”

Full red lips twitched into a half-smile at the annoyance in the blond’s tone and Xander moved closer, one hand supporting the still angry-looking knee as he draped that leg over his hip. His lips grazed lightly over Will’s jaw, teeth nibbling gently at barely stubbled skin. “Baby… if it was getting better, then it’ll do it again, right? We just need to be careful.” He smiled. “So I’m thinking that maybe… you know, if you still want to… maybe when you’re feeling better I could…” Xander blushed through the wicked grin that spread from the initial smile. “I could ride you, Will. I know you wanted to take me deep and hard. Hell, I wanted that too. Still do, one day. But while your leg is so bad, maybe…”

His voice dropped to a husky whisper and he spoke directly into William’s ear. “You could get me all slicked up, baby… I’d love to feel your fingers sliding deep into my ass. I’d be right there, crouched over you while you stretched me… never ridden anyone before, Will, so when I sank down onto you it’d be the first time for me. And God, I hear it feels so deep and intense… I want that, William. Want to feel that with you. I… I wish I could say I’ve never had anyone else in me, but that… it’d be the next best thing, wouldn’t it? And all you’d have to do is lay there and… watch… me… move…”

William’s moaned “bloody hell” was almost lost in the sounds of rushing water and Xander’s fast breaths but he knew his love heard it because one tanned hand was suddenly shutting off the faucet and moving to his wakening shaft. “Xander,” he grunted, low and deep, the hand on his bad leg stopping him from thrusting into the wet grip, “Fuck, pet, let me just…”

“No. No moving, no thrusting. Those are the rules for now, baby. I’m gonna carry you to bed and you’re gonna just lie there and let me do all the work. Got it?”

Another moan, this one deeper. “Bloody… yeah. Whatever you say, Xan. Just… need you, alright? Need you…”

Water sluiced in sheets from dusky skin as Xander released the blond and stood. He stepped from the bathtub then grabbed every towel on the heated rack a few feet away before returning to set them down and help Will from the tub.

He held most of William’s weight with one arm even as he wrapped a thick, plush length of looped cotton around the pale perfection of his lover, then did the same with a towel around his own waist… and as he dipped a bit to gather Will close, he murmured wantonly “Need you too, baby… fuck, it’s almost scary how much I need you. Gonna have you in about five minutes, though, so I think I can handle the fear…”

William’s lungs were working like bellows, dragging air in and pumping it out, and when Xander set him down gently on the bed, he lay back and stared adoringly at the fully revealed acres of skin as the brunette dropped his own towel. “Five minutes, luv…?” he managed to whisper, “So bloody long…?”

“We’ll start the timing now,” Xander murmured as he found the tube of lubricant from the night before—their first night at Will’s apartment. “And you will be inside me, baby. I… God, Will, I can hardly wait.”

Part Ten

If William were going to examine his true feelings about being ridden rather than driving, so to speak, he would have had to admit that he was somewhat relieved, and simply because of what he hadn’t had either the time or inclination to tell Xander yet. It was embarrassing, but he could actually count the number of times he’d topped a partner on one hand. Not because of lack of interest but because his former boyfriends—all two of them—hadn’t been that interested in catching, as opposed to pitching. In his darker moments, William was sure that their feelings had been based upon his own fumbling actions, but tonight… tonight with Xander, maybe he would be alright.

“Bloody hell,” he sighed, two fingers sliding slowly in and out of the tightest ass he’d ever touched; he was entirely sure of that much. Devon had been almost loose, and Lindsey… well, even he hadn’t been this tight. “Are you certain I’ll…” William blushed.

“Oh, God. Fit…?” Xander shivered slightly, his head hanging down as Will’s long, agile fingers stroked him from the inside out. “Yeah. Hell, yeah. God, it’s gonna be so good, Will. Fuck, baby, don’t think I can… oh yeah, right… just like that…” His eyes closed for a moment against the soft burn as William’s digits spread and twisted, never quite touching that sensitive spot. “Fuck. Fuck, Will. Let me… th-that’s enough…”

And oh, he was nervous suddenly. There were so many ways things could go wrong and he was already throbbing roughly at the knowledge that this was it. He was going to be inside Xander, feeling that big, strong body flexing around him while the man… “B-bloody… just take it slow, pet. I… don’t want you hurting yourself any more than you want me doing that, right?” And he thought that was a rather nice save, if he did say—think—so himself because he’d be damned if he was going to tell his lover that he was afraid of disappointing him. Xander would—or wouldn’t—find that out soon enough.

He pulled his fingers slowly from the slightly loosened hole, his hands gripping roughly at the sheets as Xander’s strong, thick fingers found the lube and spread a thin layer on William’s seeping cock. “Xander,” he nearly whimpered when the man was finally kneeling over him, that small opening perched at his tip. “Please, luv… God, please.”

He should wait. Xander knew he should wait. At least until Will’s leg wasn’t so wrecked, but… God, he’d already been waiting so long and been so afraid of freaking the guy out that once he’d gotten the go-ahead, he just couldn’t stand knowing Will wanted it as much as he did without actually having it, and now… “I love it… when you… beg, baby,” he groaned, eyes opening to pale skin in dim light.

His hips shifted just a bit, centering Will’s cock carefully and then he pressed down, hands finding the solid swells of pecs as he bit his lip and tried not to cry out at the sensation of that shaft—slightly smaller than his own in girth but equal in length—piercing him fully, pushing past his tight sphincter and sliding in until Xander was seated firmly against Will’s groin, his heavy sac resting on thick, coarse hairs. “Ahhhhhh…” he sighed, the sound emerging like a benediction.

William had no idea of what words were flowing from his own mouth; he only knew he was speaking at all because of the vibrations in his throat, but that was fine, that was good, because Xander clearly wasn’t listening anyway. All he really did know was that he’d never felt like this. Not even once. Being inside Xander’s body made him feel whole, alive, brand new and reborn. And maybe it was because he’d never been bare inside anyone before, but somehow he doubted it. He had a feeling… no, he knew. It was just the man sitting astride him that made him feel so… right.

His fingers flexed, releasing the sheets and moving to shaking thighs. “Don’t move, Xan,” he whispered, caught in the perfect trap of deep, surprised brown eyes. “Not yet, yes…? Just want… God, want to feel you like this for a moment, pet…”

And thank God for that because Xander didn’t think he could move. Not even if he’d wanted to. He’d been right earlier. He’d never felt anyone so deep in him; never expected the swell of emotion choking him at having taken Will in so deliberately, and entirely by choice. It was… God, it was like nothing he’d ever known or even thought to know. It was… stunning. Feeling Will, knowing there was nothing between them, nothing keeping this from being real and right and true, and…

And it didn’t matter that Larry had been naked inside him before, Xander suddenly realized. He hadn’t known then; hadn’t had a say. But this time he did. This time he knew and he’d nearly begged for it and… he was glad.

“William,” he whispered back, fingers spreading on the man’s pale chest, “I… this is it. You. I…” He smiled shakily, seating himself more firmly still. “I think you’re stuck with me, baby.”

Blue eyes prickled with small tears, William’s smile reflecting joy at the unexpected words. His hands tightened on Xander’s thighs and he nodded. “Right, then. I get to keep you. Bloody well brilliant, that is, what with not wanting anything else, luv.” He swallowed, clearing his throat softly. “I… I think perhaps you might… move now, Xan. Just a bit…”

“I… yeah. Now would be good, baby…”

They were the last words Xander would speak for quite a while that were recognizable as such because once he started moving and felt the perfection of William’s body beneath him, Will’s ready cock sliding out then in with his own motions and pressing wickedly against his prostate, whatever was spilling from his mouth couldn’t possibly have made much sense aside from ‘good, Will, God’. His fingers dug lightly into soft skin and he growled when he felt the damaged form beneath him try to arch as he slid down another time.

“Do that again and I’ll stop,” he threatened seriously, losing the ability to speak again when William’s body settled once more.

God, he was dying. William knew it. As good as it had felt to have Xander pressed down tight and hard on his shaft, it felt even better now that the man was moving and there was no way that he could feel such an intense degree of pleasure and not die. And Xander would stop if he moved? Well, apparently. He’d used his sincere-voice for the threat, after all.

Still, even as he forced himself to remain as motionless as possible, William made a mental note to coddle his bad leg because the next time… oh, the next time Xander let him in, he was going to move. So hard and fast and deep that his love wouldn’t be able to even think, much less make ultimatums.

His fingers dug deep into flexing muscles, hopefully leaving bruises behind. He wanted Xander to remember this for days… wanted Xander to feel him even after their loving came to its inevitable conclusion. And with that thought in mind, William let his hands slide up to Xander’s solid hips, pulling the bloke down harder onto his throbbing, pulsing shaft.

“Going to cum in you, luv,” he groaned, head pressing back into the pillow as he heard his love gasp roughly above him. He stared helplessly at Xander’s close-eyed and pleasure-swamped face even as he repeated the action. “God, Xan… going to fill you up, pet. So full. Make you so full of me you’ll never wonder, never even think you’re anything but mine, yes…? Bloody… hell…” the last words escaping as a strangled grunt when the already tight ring of muscle clamped roughly around him. “Xander…!”

He rocked and writhed, impaled wonderfully on Will’s amazing cock… the same cock that was pressing so unavoidably against that small, sensitive nub inside him, and his prostate was definitely Xander’s new second-best friend, right after Will’s cock, which had swiftly replaced it in his heart. He yelped softly, William’s words echoing through his head even as he pressed back and down, shifting helplessly once he was flush and tight against the blond’s groin again.

He was fairly sure that his mouth was doing that fish thing again, but Xander couldn’t find it in himself to care. Will was inside him and making him feel so much more than he’d ever felt before with anyone and… and Will wanted to keep him and Xander for damned sure wanted to be kept, and…

“Fuck…! Cum, baby! Cum for me, cum in me… now, baby! Now, Will!” Xander’s back arched hard, even as one hand left William’s chest to move back, holding the bad leg as still as he could while the blond beneath him rocked up, tensed and bowed. He howled roughly and jerked, his own cock spitting sharp, wild spurts of hot seed over Will’s pinkened skin while the shaft buried so deep inside him swelled further still then pulsed harshly, spilling matching heat deep into his bowels.

It wasn’t until the larger, darker body pressed down onto his torso and hot red lips found his neck that William let his hands move from Xander’s hips. His fingers stroked slowly up the brunette’s spine, languidly tracing the thick cords of muscle that outlined it so perfectly. A working man’s muscles, designed by nature to be strong, resilient, capable. Just like his bloke.

It was too soon. Far too soon. But he couldn’t help it; couldn’t hold the words back. “I think… I love you, Xan,” he whispered, his cock still nestled deep within that perfect sheath. “Bloody well sudden, but… think I do, pet. Can’t seem to stop caring more and more…” He bit his lip, hoping against hope that the bloke wouldn’t cut and run.

Jesus, he was wrung out. Hell, he could barely even think about what it would be like when Will’s leg was feeling even a little bit better. Not that he ever wanted to give up being in William’s ass because he loved that but… Jesus, Will had been fucking perfect, even without moving much.

He felt the hands on his back; felt the soft little rumble in William’s chest… and then he heard the words his blond was speaking and Xander… froze.

‘He loves me…? William… loves me…? He… and he said he wants this to go on and God knows I do too, and… and it’s not just me? It’s him, too, and we’re both feeling like… God, this really is it and he’s everything I ever… and God, I never felt anything like this with Larry. Not even with Jesse, and that… I thought that was the whole ‘Once In A Lifetime Love’ I’ve read about but I was wrong and I think this is and…’

And he suddenly realized he’d been silent too long because Will wasn’t making that happy-rumbly sound in his chest anymore. In fact, William was tensing and the hands on his spine were still.

Xander cleared his throat and lifted his weary head, looking deeply into wounded blue. “You’re right,” he said softly, his heart aching at being the one who’d put that look on his lover’s face. “It is sudden. I never expected… but I feel it too, baby. I think I always did, from the minute we met.” He blushed just a bit. “I don’t know why else I’d ask you to get tested with me so soon; especially when my first thought about that ‘anything’ you promised me was… um.” He swallowed his words and blushed even more. “I… I guess I’m saying that I… fuck. I love you too, Will. William. I… love you. I do.”

There was nothing in the world like seeing the way Will’s face went from despairing to ecstatic in less than two seconds and Xander couldn’t keep his mouth from closing over the pale pink lips that were already open with what looked like bliss.

Oh, yeah. He loved William, alright. There was nothing else that could explain the swelling of his… heart in that moment.


“You sure I can’t come with you, pet?” William prodded, his lower lip pouting out as he watched Xander pack. “Could just stay at the hotel while you’re busy with family and whatnot…”

God, he hated saying no but he didn’t have a whole lot of choice. When Dad said ‘jump’, he pretty much had to ask how high. Not that it happened often, of course, because one thing Rupert Giles had never been was overly demanding… not once Xander had set out on his own to prove himself, anyway. In fact, Dad only insisted on him attending the yearly meet-and-greet with the board of directors and major investors and while Xander knew that a man like William would be an incredible asset and raise his own status, he hadn’t quite gotten around to telling the blond about his other life, and besides…

He folded the last pair of jeans carefully and set them inside his suitcase before snapping it shut. “I wish, baby, but Cordy would kill us both. You’ve only been working with her for six weeks; she’d probably hunt us down in like a second if you missed even one session, much less four in the week you’d be gone.”

William sighed, his fingers plucking unhappily at the edge of the pillow that had become Xander’s over the last five weeks. His lover was right, of course; Cordelia Chase—his physical therapist and the premier sports therapy provider in the entire state—would have kittens if he disappeared, even with notice, and he didn’t want that. The young woman was bloody well frightening when she was on a tear. He could hardly believe that Xander had known her in school, had been friends with her… and still was.

It didn’t help that the girl had been reluctant to add him to her roster, either, but Xander had kept at her for almost a month until she’d finally agreed to even meet with William. He counted himself lucky that she’d decided in his favor since his bad leg was already better—after only six weeks under her care—than he’d ever expected it to be in his lifetime. Still, he hated the idea of seven entire days without his bloke, though the nights were more worrisome to him.

He gazed at the tall, strong shape beside the bed, his teeth worrying lightly at his full bottom lip. Xander was going home to Sunnydale, California. Going home to see his father and sisters… and whomever else he’d left behind, not that the brunette had said as much, but still.

And what if Xander got there and spent time with said persons and suddenly realized that he could do better than a half-crippled bloke who couldn’t even fuck him properly for another month, on doctor’s orders. Or PT’s orders, anyway, which was more or less the same thing as far as he could tell at the moment.

Add in the little fact that while he knew Xander’s story, the younger man had no clue as to who William actually was, and… but maybe it wouldn’t matter to Xander. Or maybe it would. William couldn’t quite manage to take the chance, which was exactly why he’d never taken his lover to meet his own family… or what was left of it.

And yet here he was, losing his bloke anyway, just as surely as if he had told him the full truth.

William could feel his heart aching already, even while he tried to smile. “I would be willing to risk it, luv… rather face off against her than be here all alone…”

And oh, God. His heart was breaking just from the mental image of his Will tossing and turning in the big bed they’d gotten used to sharing. Of course, Xander would be equally lonely in his old bed at his Dad’s house, but that didn’t bother him nearly as much as the thought of William being unhappy.

He pulled his suitcase from the bed and set it carefully on the floor before crawling slowly up the mattress to press soft, deep kisses to pouting pink lips. “I’m gonna call you every night, baby… hell, probably every hour. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep without hearing your voice, y’know?” Xander sighed softly, pulling William’s body over his own, hoping he wasn’t causing any damage to his blond’s recovering leg, but then again… if all the fairly energetic sex hadn’t done it, he doubted a simple roll would. “I want to find you right here when I get back, Will,” he murmured, one hand on the blond’s perfect ass while the other tangled in silky wheaten locks. “Preferably naked and slick for me. I… fuck, Will. I’m gonna be so fucking frustrated when I get back. Maybe you should arrange for a few days off because… oh, hell. You won’t be able to walk once I’m through with you.”

A small groan slipped from William’s lips and he closed his eyes, diving into Xander’s mouth as though for the last time. His tongue delved deep, trying to impress its shape and taste in his bloke’s mouth as a warning, a claim… a possession of sorts.

“I’m going to hold you to that, Xan,” he whispered, pulling away. “Bloody hell. Don’t want to let you go. Think I could fit in that suitcase if I curled up all tight and such. I’d have to toss the clothes but we wouldn’t really need them, yes?”

Xander found himself laughing, regardless of the fact that Will was obviously only joking a little bit. “I love the way your mind works, baby, but my Dad would probably kill me if I just stayed in my room… at the hotel… all week. Besides, I don’t think it’d be good for your leg, either. Now I really have to go. I’ll miss my flight otherwise…”



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The Spander Files