Chapter 6

I'm so angry at myself though for ruining that date. I ruined her very expensive silk shirt with red wine, and then I locked the keys in the car and we got rained on, but more than that I want to kill Taylor. How could he drop me off first? I didn't even get to say goodnight to Ashlee the way I wanted to.

"I'm sorry," I said.

I could feel my heart flutter a little. The feelings I held for her were stronger than ever. "Let's go for a walk," she said as she pulled her coat off of the rack and locked the door behind us.

The October air caused the hair on my arms to stand on end. Joy reached for my hand and her warmth caused my heart rate to increase. She held my hand gently, as we walked, neither of us saying a word. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and how long I've loved her, but I'd settle for any type of relationship at this point. "Let's get pizza," she said suddenly.

I could see that old spontaneity and spunk that she used to have. It wasn't completely lost. "Joy we should really talk first," I said.

She stared at me so intensely, I couldn't speak. "Zac are you my friend?" she asked.

I was stunned. "Of course I am," I said.

"Then, let it go," she said.

I wanted to say so many things to her, but I definitely wasn't going to push the issue. "Pizza sounds great," I said.

I couldn't help but stare at her as we walked. She looked like a different person. She looked back at me as if her eyes were asking "What?"

"The new look you have is interesting. Why did you decide to go that route?" I asked.

"Oh you don't like my black hair & my black clothes and my piercing," she said.

"I didn't say I didn't like it, I just want to know why," I said.

"Well, I enjoy pain and the dark clothes represent the darkness in my soul," she said.

"Yeah sort of like your poetry," I said.

"You don't like my poems either. You are just full of compliments today huh," she said as I held the door to the pizza place open for her.

"I never said that."

"I know. I'm teasing," she said.

It gave me great strength to know that she and I could kid around again, like the children we once were. "Why don't you get a table and I'll order," I said.

I watched her as she hung her jacket on the back of her chair. "Can I help you?" the man behind the counter asked.

"Yeah two slices and two cokes," I said.

"About ten minutes," the man said.

"Thanks," I headed back over to our table.

She smiled at me and I could hardly breathe. "So Zac Hanson what have you been doing for the past eight years?" She caught me by surprise.

"Aside from hating Taylor, I've been going to school and working. I moved out at 18 and I haven't told anyone where I live, not even Isaac," I said.

"Wasn't that hard for you to be on your own at such a young age?" she asked.

"I had to get out of that house. I couldn't be in there after, everything that happened there, especially not with Taylor," I said.

"That's understandable," there was something eating away at me since Joy came back into my life and I had to know.

I took a deep breath. I was just going to ask her. "Have you, you know.. since you know?" I muttered.

"Have I had sex?" she said.

I could feel my face turn bright red. My cheeks were burning. I couldn't look her in the face. "It's ok Zac and yes I have," she said.

"Oh," I managed to squeak out.

"Have you?" she asked.

"No," I said quietly.

I was embarrassed that she was more experienced than me and jealous as all hell. "I didn't think that you could after everything that happened."

"It changed forever Zac. Sex will never be for me, what it is for everyone else. I will never have any feelings during sex," she said.

I was about to respond when the man I had come to despise locked eyes with me. "Joy Bryant. How are you?" Taylor asked.

I looked over at Zac and I could tell that he wanted to rip Taylor's heart out. "I'm glad to see the two of you finally together. I knew my plan would work," Taylor said.

I was enraged. I clenched my fists and took a deep breath. "You guys have a great day," Taylor said as he began to walk away.

He's lucky he walked away when he did, because I was about to castrate him.

I can still remember that sexy way she bit down on her lip when she felt the pleasure and that lust in her eyes. I think Zac hates me, because of her lust for me. That was the plans to make him jealous enough to snap into action.

I don't understand why he is so upset. I helped him. Zac was a lucky man, I don't know why he acts like it was such a horrible ordeal for him. He should have thanked me.

I was secretly wishing I'd see Isaac at the party. "Mom are you going out tonight?" my baby asked me.

"Yes I am and you're going across the hall with Flora," I said.

"Mom I'm too old for a babysitter," he whined.

"You can't stay by yourself, because if something happens to you, I could get in serious trouble," I said as I brushed the hair out of his eyes.

"Well can't she just check on me every hour? Her place is really boring and it smells. PLEASE mommy," he begged me.

I looked at his precious little pleading eyes and I couldn't resist. "Ok you can stay here, but you know the rules, and don't give Flora a hard time when she checks in," I said.

"Ok I promise," he said as he hugged me.

He promised me and I knew he'd keep that promise.