OUT NOW ON DVD, THE FIFTH SEASON OF THE WB'S HIT SHOW SMALLVILLE! THIS SIX-DISC SET FEATURES ALL THE EPISODES OF THE FIFTH SEASON OF THE SHOW THAT KEEPS SUPERMAN IN THE FOREFRONT! REMEMBER, NO FLIGHTS… NO TIGHTS! SMALLVILLE : SEASON FIVE: NOW AVAILABLE WHERE DVD'S ARE SOLD!
:::: END COMMERCIAL :::::
PWR WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE ROCK GROUP, METALLICA, AND RAPPERS, DJ JAZZY JEFF AND THE FRESH PRINCE, FOR ALLOWING PWR TO SHOWCASE THEIR MUSIC FOR PWR SUMMER SANITARIUM 2006, LIVE AT THE SAVVIS CENTER IN ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI ON SEPTEMBER 17TH!
::::: END COMMERCIAL :::::
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? ESPN SURE IS, AS MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL HAS MOVED! TUNE IN WEEK 2 TO SEE THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS TAKE ON THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS. 8:30 EST/5:30 PST! ONLY ON ESPN, THE WORLDWIDE LEADER OF SPORTS!
::::: END COMMERCIAL :::::
FIVE YEARS AGO, THEY MADE NUMBER 1! PEOPLE LOVED IT BUT WANTED MORE. NOW, ON SEPTEMBER 22 ND, THEY MAKE NUMBER 2. JOHNNY KNOXVILLE, STEVE-O, BAM MARGERA, WEE MAN, PRESTON LACY, RYAN DUNN AND THE REST OF THE JACKASS CLAN BRING YOU THE LAUGH-FEST FOR THE AUTUMN MONTHS. JACKASS: NUMBER 2, COMING TO THEATERS 9/22!
::::: END COMMERCIAL :::::
(Camera opens up inside the PWR Studios, outside of Chicago. Chris Cash is shown behind a podium as the stage lights come up. Cash raises his head to look into the camera and opens the show)
(Chris Cash) Good evening everyone! Welcome to the phenomenon that is the PWR Rumor Rundown! I am as always your host with the most PWR information known to man, Chris Cash and do we have a big night ahead of you tonight. Tonight we have in studio, Shane Donovan. That sure is a treat. Also, we will have Marcus K. Yelder, Flash, Synyster as well as the build up of the Summer Sanitarium card that will take place this Sunday in the Savvis Center! First of all, PWR would like to address what took place some three days ago.
(Chris Cash changes his camera angle and look towards his left)
(Chris Cash) PWR as well as America relived through the media the events of September 11th, 2001. That fateful Tuesday was a day that will never be forgotten by anyone who claims to be under the fadeless colors of red, white, and blue. The heinous and atrocious acts that took place will be burned into our minds just like the lives that were snuffed out by rogue planes that were hijacked by senseless terrorists with rebellious causes. With all of that being said, PWR would like to remind the American viewing public that we do not stand in fear. We strive to bring you the greatest wrestling action every time we put on a show. We are proud to be a great wrestling company in a greater nation with the greatest fans in the world! Until we collapse, until we can't stand any longer, until all our funds run dry, we will continue to be here and serve you, the American public, with the best action we can!
(Chris Cash wipes a tear from his eye and then changes his focus to the ring)
(Chris Cash) Now, onto why you all are tuning in with us. The first word is International! Not that PWR will be making an International "World Tour," or that PWR will be shipping in International talent from across the globe. We are unveiling in the oh-so-very near future, the PWR International Division! Some of the PWR superstars have been exposed to this information and some have not! PWR has also contacted some of the greatest athletes who have never stepped foot in a PWR ring about this adventure. Now, I can't say much about the International Division except that it is a whole new breed and it will make for all new excitement and suspense in Pro Wrestling Rampage. As for a formal announcement, there will be one made at Summer Sanitarium by its founder and creator, Brandon S. Yelder! He has assured me that the PWR International Championship will showcase the best of the best in all aspects of the ring! There will be no telling what….
(Voice) Best of the Best? Are you kidding me?
(Terrell Yelder appears on the screen for what looks like another edition of T-TV)
(Terrell Yelder) You want to talk about the best? Then allow me to enlighten you all. The best is someone who is not a sportsman, but a superstar. The best is someone who can put aside his conscience in order to get what he wants by any means necessary. The best is a man who will take the smallest opportunity and manipulate it into an advantage. The best is me! Terrell Yelder! That's who. Don't think I don't know about this little International Division that Brandon has cooked up. He's trying to stand out. Be original. That is all fine and dandy. But just like everything else you do Brandon, I will be right there stealing the spotlight. Making it hard as hell for you to succeed. But you see the difference here, my dear brother, is that I won't be alone. No, not at all. I have acquired a very lucrative asset to join in my revolution. And is one that is going to shock the wrestling world. Once again, Terrell Yelder's influence outdoes itself. And soon you will all see the fruits of my superior mental acumen.
Think over, think over, the sixteenth of October
Bound to this date are you not?
The closer we be, the more you will see
The importance of my plot.
(Camera goes to static until it changes to a black screen)
::::: COMMERCIAL BREAK :::::
(Chris Cash) Welcome back! That was weird! Anyway, our "first guest" tonight in this jam-packed edition of the Rundown will be in action this Sunday as he takes on Paul Pain and Mavick for the PWR United States Championship. Here with me is "The New Religion" Shane Donovan!
("Look To Your Orb For The Warning" by Monster Magnet starts and plays low in the background while Shane Donovan makes his way to the ring, dressed casually in a pair of nice blue jeans with a black polo shirt tucked in. He walks towards Chris Cash and greets him with a hand shake and then takes a seat next to Cash at interview table to the right of the podium (camera's left.))
(Chris Cash) First of all Shane, thank you for being here tonight.
(Shane Donovan) Good to be here man.
(Chris Cash) Before we get down to business... how are things going in your personal life?
(Shane Donovan) Things are awesome. Me and Jasmine couldn't be happier. Well, her folks are a tad bit disappointed in the whole marriage thing but hey, who the hell cares.
(Chris Cash) Well, that can be understandable. Some parents are a bit antsy when it comes to their daughter's marriage partner.
(Shane Donovan) Well it wasn't so much that, just the profession we're in. Her parents worry. That and the whole having children thing. How's your life going Chris, are you getting everything you need out of it?
(Chris Cash) Oh yeah! Everything is good. I'm glad that I have the finances and the luxury of having her on the road with me. Anyway, let's get down to why we are here. Last week you picked up a big "co-win" to go on to face Mavick at Summer Sanitarium. What was your reaction when you and Pain got the win?
(Shane Donovan) Well, it's kinda cool and kinda not. I mean on one hand, I'm facing now not ONLY facing Mavick, who I made tap, but I am also facing Paul Pain. Of course, me and Paul are a tag team, so I can almost guarantee you'll be seeing some tag team like moves on Mavick, the man which I've made tap out.
(Chris Cash) But not to sound like a smart-alec but there can only be one PWR United States Champion at the end of the night. Will it be you?
(Shane Donovan) Will it be me? Now, Chris, that's a kinda dumb question.
(Chris Cash) I know it is, but I know you are smart and you know the odds. Do you really think you can win?
(Shane Donovan) Chris, my odds are excellent. Yes, both Mavick and Paul Pain are awesome wrestlers. Yes, Mavick and Paul Pain have held U.S. titles in different feds. But, Mavick and Paul Pain have one thing in common also. They have both lost to me.
(Chris Cash) Very excellent point. Now about Mavick, last week he was attacked by The Death Dealers' valet, Moon. Did you have anything to do with that and if so, why?
(Shane Donovan) No, I want Mavick in top physical shape when I whoop his ass. That way he doesn't have to go and cry back to either Brandon or Synyster. As for the Death Dealers, they need to learn their place. The youngsters want respect, I can understand that. Respect is given only when it is shown, and me and Pain will are more than willing to beat respect into them.
(Chris Cash) Very well spoken. Now back to personal stuff, I know you are a big Buccaneers fan. Do you plan on going to any games?
(Shane Donovan) Yeah, I do. I went the first week. They still have their solid defense, but the offense is young and needs more time to learn. Just like the Death Dealers.
(Chris Cash) Yeah, the Buccaneers got their asses handed to them week one. 27-0 was it?
(Shane Donovan) Yeah, coulda been. But I think your failing to realize the bigger picture; they will overcome it all to be at the top once more. Like me, where I start with the U.S. title.
(Chris Cash) And where and when do you plan to finish?
(Shane Donovan) I plan on finishing when I breathe my last breath. When every World title has been around my waist.
(Chris Cash) And when will you accomplish that in PWR?
(Shane Donovan) When MJ loses her title, cause frankly I don't wanna mess up her pretty face.
(Chris Cash) Well, it was fun having you here with us tonight. A class act as always!
(Shane Donovan) Hold on, I have one more thing to say…
(Chris Cash) Alright... the floor is yours.
(Shane glares into the camera)
(Shane Donovan) This message goes out to Blayde. You attacked a close friend of mine. You attacked him from behind, like a coward. A man who attacks someone from behind like that is afraid of him. So, were you afraid to face Meadows. You were afraid of the Nightmare when you looked into his eyes. At Summer Sanitarium you face Meadows once again, but this time it'll be one on one, face to face and I'll be by his side, watching his back all the way from the back to the ring to make sure you or anyone you've hired doesn't take him out. And Blayde, if Meadows doesn't hurt you enough, I'll be more than happy to make sure you get what you deserve. Now I'm done Christopher Cash.
(Chris Cash) Thank you very much Shane! Thank you for being here. We will be right back after another word from our sponsors!
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(Chris Cash) Ladies and gentlemen, our next guest is a man who in recent weeks has been on a roller coaster ride in his PWR career. It seemed like after one big win, he would hit one big loss and it would never level out for him. Allow me to introduce you to the man who will be facing Jericho Kane in PWR's first ever "Civil War" Flag Match, Marcus K. Yelder!
(Marcus makes his way from backstage and towards Chris Cash. Marcus is dressed typically in a green mesh shirt with a solid black shirt underneath, a pair of solid black cargo pants and a pair of silver And1 basketball shoes. He greets Chris Cash with a firm hand shake and takes a seat in the chair that Shane Donovan once occupied, across from Chris Cash)
(Chris Cash) Marcus, welcome to the Rundown.
(Marcus K. Yelder) Thanks Chris, thanks for having me.
(Chris Cash) So… last week, you jumped Jericho Kane right after The Death Dealers were disposed of. What was your motivation to that decision?
(Marcus K. Yelder) That's a simple question and it will get a simple response. You see, it was Jericho Kane that cost me the PWR Tag Team Championships. It was Kane that has been dumbing me down with his incredulous speech and his atrocious diction. Most of all, he disrespected me. Granted, I might be younger than him but he has no right to call me boy!
(Chris Cash) This sounds like this has been brewing for weeks but it will come to a head in St. Louis in the first ever "Civil War" flag match. What's your tactics going into that match?
(Marcus K. Yelder) I'm gonna win! That's my plan. There is no way a man from a town called "Beaver Lick" will ever beat a man as sexy as me. There is not one flaw on this body; not one blemish. Chris, I'm going to say it now. This Sunday, I take a flag. The end of the year, I take some gold!
(Chris Cash) It seems like you are putting the cart before the horse. Are you really so sure of that?
(Marcus K. Yelder) Yes I am. There is no way that Jericho can beat me. I'm more athletic, better looking and winning is in my veins. Do you have any idea what my last name is? YELDER! Sound familiar? It should. One of my brothers signs your checks and the other one wants to sign your checks! And now, it's my turn to start writing checks. Only the checks I will be writing are my own. They will be checks taken straight to the back for straight cash! Until you realize that, you have no hope! This interview is just like Jericho Kane…done!
(Yelder stands up and rips off his microphone then walks away from the interview stage)
(Chris Cash) That was Marcus K. Yelder, who looks to put the South from re-writing the history books at Summer Sanitarium. Right now, let's get to some pre-recorded comments from Jericho Kane and Mary-Jane Montez about Summer Sanitarium!
(Jericho Kane) Do not adjust your television sets; it doesn't get any better than this right here. Welcome to the Jericho Kane Redneck News Network. (chuckles to himself) I can really pick partners, eh? First there was that Curse guy.... in that other promotion. Now I made the cardinal error in choosing a **expletive** Yelder. Oh I must have taken one sip to many from the ole moonshine jug to think I could trust you. Right Marcus? Well I'm not gonna bitch and moan about it. What's the point when revenge is so much sweeter? You look at me in disgust because I am from the south and openly admit to being a redneck. Well at Summer Sanitarium, we'll see who the better man is. You just made me come to the realization that being from the south is some sort of curse to you people from up north. I see it as a blessing and I embrace it full heartedly and starting with this North versus South match at Summer Sanitarium I will prove it to the world. "The Thrillbilly" Jericho Kane's stock is on the rise and there nothing you or anyone else can do about it. Oh yeah... If ya don't like that or me then take a (BLEEP) Number and kiss my rebel ass.
(Mary-Jane Montez) Primetime Punisher, you're a great competitor; you have a lot of talent and you want to take Mary-Jane's title! Well, Primetime, there's a bit of a problem with that. You see... I'm not ready to give up MY title! So unfortunately, that makes YOU my next victim, and I do mean VICTIM, because most of the time my opponents are lucky to come out alive. And to make it worse for you, you decided to attack me and take me out early. So, PTP, I will be 100% by the time we get to Summer Sanitarium. Your bitch ass better believe it will definitely be HELL to pay for you. I wish you luck because you're gonna need it.
::::: COMMERCIAL BREAK :::::
(Chris Cash) Welcome back. Our next guest has been hot as of late here in PWR since his arrival and at Summer Sanitarium, he looks to continue. Please welcome via telephone from Dallas, here is Flash. Flash, are you there?
(Flash) I'm here.
(Chris Cash) Very good. Flash, how are you doing tonight?
(Flash) Well ya know, Chris, I'm doing pretty good myself. I've been sitting back and preparing myself ever since I took on not just one, not two, but three other competitors to get where I am today.
(Chris Cash) Well we know that ever since your debut in PWR, you've been targeting the PWR Pure Wrestling Championship.
(Flash) Yeah, that's right. And no one has been able to, one on one, take that away from me. I came in and lost a multi-man match by pure luck of the way things went that night. Ever since then do you see me on the losing end of things? Ever?
(Chris Cash) Can't say that I have, Flash. So how have you been these past few days knowing that you're going to face Duncan McCloud at Summer Sanitarium?
(Flash) What do you mean how have I been? I've been great like always. Did you see the Cowboys game Sunday?
(Chris Cash) Yeah, but.
(Flash) Yeah they lost the game. As much of a fan I am of the Dallas Cowboys, the one difference will be that they lose and I don't.
(Chris Cash) Well what are your thoughts on the upcoming pay per view?
(Flash) Do you remember the 2002-2003 NBA season?
(Chris Cash) Well yes.
(Flash) Remember at the beginning of that year, how were the Dallas Mavericks doing?
(Chris Cash) They did great, they were--
(Flash) Exactly, they had what you would call a winning streak. Something I've become accustomed to around here.
(Chris Cash) Well there's Flash's thoughts on sports.
(Flash) That's right.
(Chris Cash) Now about Summer Sanitarium...
(Flash) Yeah, Summer Sanitarium is going to be one hell of a pay per view. Why? Well why do you think? Because everyone is going to see what needs to happen and that is I, Flash, rise to the occasion. Rise to the top of the Pure division mountain.
(Chris Cash) And your opponent, the PWR Pure Champion, Duncan McCloud?
(Flash) Duncan McCloud, I've wrestled him, teamed with him and now it's time to take a belt from him. And finally engrave my name in what I came here for. The gold. But not just any gold. The gold of the Pure Wrestling Division. Because when it comes to Pure Wrestling. I am IT...and it gets no better!
(Chris Cash) Well ladies and gentlemen there's Flash, ready for his upcoming Pure Championship Match.
(Flash) And next time you see me, you'll be introducing me as the PWR Pure Wrestling Champion, Flash.
(Chris Cash) That was Flash. He sounds ready to go when the bell sounds in "The Lou!" Let's keep going with an update on the condition of PWR's first double champion, Mavick. As you all know, last week, Moon of the Death Dealers caught Mavick across the ankle with a Louisville Slugger and surprisingly shattered it on impact. Mavick suffered some bone bruising and is experiencing tightness in that ankle during his training. On the phone with me now from Detroit is Mavick. Mavick, how do you feel?
(Mavick) I feel just as good as anyone would feel after having two jobbers try to crush his ankle.
(Chris Cash) Understood, but you do realize it was the Death Dealers' valet Moon that struck you with the bat?
(Mavick) Yeah, Moon? That bitch has a special surprise coming for her at the PPV.
(Chris Cash) Really? Some would say that you have a surprise coming for you considering you will be facing 4 different PWR superstars in one night, split up into 2 different matches. Will the ankle hold up?
(Mavick) My ankle is fine; I've been through worse. I will retain my US title and my partner is Shane "F'N" Montez so that match is a lock.
(Chris Cash) Will you be concentrating on one match more than the other come Summer Sanitarium?
(Mavick) No, I plan to be at my most vicious at this PPV. No one match takes priority over the other. I'm the longest reigning PWR champion for a reason. A reason my opposition has forgotten. Come Summer Sanitarium, 4 men will learn a very hard lesson; Mavick is the monster.
(Chris Cash) Thank you for joining us Mavick, best of luck with the ankle.
(Mavick) Thank you Chris.
(Chris Cash) That was PWR's US and Tag Champion Mavick. As you can see, more drama builds for Summer Sanitarium. Right now, let's hear from Scott Kage and PWR's Rated R Champion Blayde.
(Scott Kage) Everyone seems to want to know the same question. Why Scott Kage why? Why did I superkick Zanyon last week and turn my back on him? Well I have a question for all the people in the arena and around the world...HOW *BLEEP* DARE YOU!!! How can you ask me that after you saw Zanyon treating me like a piece of garbage the past 2 weeks? When I came into PWR I thought he was the best so I wanted to learn off him. It turns out all he was is a old piece of crap who got a lucky win to be #1 contender for the World title. Well Zanyon luck runs out and it seems that yours is about to come to an end. You see while I have been in your corner, helping you out, I have also taken the time to learn any and all weaknesses you have. You say you don't have any well I can tell you that at Summer Sanitarium that it will be me exposing your biggest weaknesses and defeating you in the center of the ring 1...2...3!!
(Blayde) So, I am the new Rated R Champion. It's only fitting that a man as vicious and as ferocious as I would be the man holding the most dangerous title in wrestling today! Shane Meadows, your weakness was not knowing your surroundings and my strength is exploiting you. Now, at Summer Sanitarium, I'm defending my title against the unknown, but I have a good idea who I'll be facing. I won't say who but I will say that I will be ready for you. And if you think you are going to beat me for this here title, you must be dreaming!
::::: COMMERCIAL BREAK :::::
(Chris Cash) What an episode of the Rumor Rundown we have had and I can't think of a better way to add to this episode than to have the first appearance of PWR's DOA Synyster. Let's welcome him to the show via satellite in his home in Las Vegas!
(Synyster is showing behind his desk looking into the camera)
(Synyster) Hey Chris. Thanks for having me.
(Chris Cash) It's our pleasure. Anytime you want on this show, you have an open invite. I'm sure it will be a better show because of your presence.
(Synyster) Well thank you. You do a fine job on this show and in general for us, calling our shows. We thank you.
(Chris Cash) Awww, you are making me blush! Anyway, I guess we can call this a small state of the PWR address. If you don't mind, could I ask you a few specific questions that you could shed some light on?
(Synyster) That's what I'm here for! Fire away Chris.
(Chris Cash) Alright. Let's start with PWR's tag team division, more namely The Death Dealers. We have given an update on Mavick's condition and his willingness to compete, but what is the status on Moon, the creator of that vicious shot to Mavick's ankle? Has she been reprimanded?
(Synyster) Moon's actions last week on Full Throttle were deplorable. I had a long discussion with her in my office after the show, and she was fined $50,000. I am still deciding whether or not I am even going to allow her to accompany her team to ringside at Summer Sanitarium. She, along with the rest of the world will find out on the 17th in St. Louis.
(Chris Cash) Very well. Speaking of the injury bug, what is the status on Shane Meadows that came at the hands of Blayde?
(Synyster) Well, we all saw what happened at Full Throttle, and I made my feelings quite clear at the show to Blayde. After the show, I traveled to the medical facility that Shane was at, and while the trauma to his head was minor, it was later found out that during the attack, Meadows suffered a torn quadriceps. He is for sure out of Summer Sanitarium and out of PWR indefinitely. I was really hoping he was going to be okay and make this match at the PPV, but it just wasn't meant to be.
(Chris Cash) What about Blayde's opponent at Summer Sanitarium? Who will it or can it be?
(Synyster) I wish I had an answer to that question, but at this moment, I just don't. I am looking at our options to replace him, not many people want to step into the type of match it's going to be, if you get my drift Chris.
(Chris Cash) Exactly. I know that if I was a wrestler, I would want to stay far away from the deathmatch setting. Onto other things, at the close of Full Throttle last week, Cruncher waved goodbye. Has there been any contact between PWR and Cruncher regarding his future with the company?
(Synyster) I have been in contact with Cruncher this week, and he will be making an appearance at Summer Sanitarium. He's been very evasive about what he's really going to do. Is he staying, or is he going? I think we'll get the answer we've been looking for at Summer Sanitarium.
(Chris Cash) Very good to hear. What else is good to hear and see is the influx of people joining the ranks of PWR. Can you give us any word as to who has shown up to PWR and what kind of presence you think they will have?
(Synyster) Well, the name that most people will recognize is Amy Suicide. Former multiple time IWF Intercontinental Champion and her experience will serve her well here in PWR. She's always been a force to be reckoned with, and will take the fight to anyone and everyone. We signed Rock Roberts; he's competed for ZWA, and had some success over there. I am very interested to see how he'll match up against some of the PWR superstars. We signed Christopher Paige back on a provisionary basis. If you'll remember we released him PWR several months back, and he convinced us that he has everything in order and will be focused on a career here in PWR. I hope he is good to go; he's got a world of talent. Xavier Black, this guy is the dark horse. The guy to watch. If he can put things together in a hurry here in PWR, he will be a contender for a long time to come. Finally, we have Tiny The Clown. This guy is going to be fun to watch. He's 600 pounds and flies around like a cruiserweight. He's got a moonsault, Chris. A 600 pound moonsault. God help the first person to get hit by that thing, haha. It's going to be very entertaining.
(Chris Cash) Tiny...sorta like an oxymoron, right?
(Synyster) Haha, indeed Chris. Indeed.
(Chris Cash) It will be fun seeing a guy try to bring some fun into PWR.
(Synyster) What, you think we don't have fun around here?
(Chris Cash) Oh, by no means do I assume we aren't having fun, but with a guy named Tiny The Clown...we can only hope for a few more laughs.
(Synyster) Relax Chris; I'm just yanking your chain. So uptight, haha. I agree with you, he's going to be fun to watch.
(Chris Cash) I'm just being safe. You know, don't wanna cross the boss. So... are you in a hurry to do something?
(Synyster) That's something you definitely don't want to do. If you got some more questions for me, I have all the time in the world.
(Chris Cash) Well our show is almost over but I realized we haven't fully discussed the card for Summer Sanitarium. Do you think that you and I could have some friendly banter if you will and discuss the card and what we think will happen? Of course, we would be unbiased.
(Synyster) Sounds good to me.
(Chris Cash) Alright, let's start from the top of the posted card on the PWR website. For the PWR Tag Team Championship, we will have The Whoresmen against the upstart Death Dealers.
(Synyster) You know, these Death Dealers have seemed to have the number of the champs over the last couple weeks. They've been putting a beating on them. But if I've learned one thing in my career, it's never bet against Shane Montez. Mavick might be ailing, but I think the champs will have enough experience to pull this one off.
(Chris Cash) Do you think that the unknown aspect of the Death Dealers may make it hard on The Whoresmen?