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Time keeps ticking away, a never ending cycle of days that only seem to be getting more and more stressful as the years go by. War in the middle east, gas prices are too high, along with everything else, and people are seemingly trying to kill each other on every street corner. Makes you almost wish you lived in a simpler time. A time like the 1950’s a time when a guy like “Outrageous” Ned Tomkins would have been in his prime. But now as everything gets more and more crazy a guy like Tomkins would seem tame would he not? You would think so wouldn’t you, but Ned was a crazy man with attitude, spunk, and intensity way beyond his years, when he was in his prime. The only difference now is that he is a crazy old man.
The scene opens in the giant bed room in the Hollywood home of “Primetime” Paul Roberts. As the scene opens we see that Roberts is still asleep in his bed as the camera pans over we can see that it is 3:45 a.m. As the camera pans the room taking everything in it slows once we see Chad standing in a corner near the door way with his head in his hands trying not to watch what is about to happen. Continuing around we can see “Outrageous” Ned standing nest to the head of the bed holding a pitcher of what we assume is water. However the pitcher is a solid color instead of clear so we really don’t know.
The man starts to poor what we can now see is steaming hot coffee all over the bed and on top of Paul Roberts, startled and a bit in pain from the searing heat of the coffee Roberts jumps out of bed screaming in pain. Primetime: WHAT THE HELL OLD MAN? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING IN MY HOUSE??? You better get the hell out of here before I shove that coffee pot up your ass! Outrageous Ned: WELL NICE TO SEE YOU COULD JOIN US SUNSHINE! WHATS THE MATTER DID I RUIN YOUR WET DREAM??? Primetime: I am going to kill you old man! Outrageous Ned: OH YOUR GONNA GET IN MY ZONE? YOU DON’T WANT TO GET IN MY ZONE! THAT’S A GOOD WAY TO DIE! Roberts looks at the man with a confused look. Chad then jumps in and interjects in the conversation. Chad: Paul, I am sorry I told him this was a bad idea to come here this early. Primetime: You think? Chad: Just calm down… Primetime: Calm down??? Your lucky I don’t kill this old fool! Outrageous Ned: KILL ME? HA! BOY YOU COULDN’T KILL ME WITH A SHOTGUN AND A HEADSTART! Ned then throws the remaining bit of coffee from the pot in the face of Primetime. Roberts just closes his eyes and takes it. Primetime: This is the guy isn’t it Chad? This is Ned. Chad: Yeah, how did you know? Primetime: Well, the constant shouting, the fact that he is like 90 years old— Outrageous Ned: 92 JERK! Primetime: 92, sorry…and that he showed up at my house at 4:00 a.m. pouring scalding hot coffee on me was a good start. Outrageous Ned: YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS BAD??? I USED TO DO THAT EVERY SINGLE MORNING BACK IN MY DAY! YOU WUSSIES THESE DAYS! DON’T EVER DO NOTHING TO HELP YOUR MENTAL STABILITY! Primetime: Yes, you are just the poster boy for mental stability aren’t you? Outrageous Ned: ITS TIME TO HEAD TO THE GYM LIGHTWEIGHT! GET OUT OF YOUR PANSY ASS PAJAMAS, AND FOR GOD SAKE PUT SOME WORK OUT CLOTHES ON! AND NOT THOSE BAGGY LEATHER PANTS YOU WERE TO WRESTLE IN EITHER! Primetime: Chad, take this guy back to whatever nursing home you found him in— Outrageous Ned: MOVE! Ned punches Roberts in the stomach doubling him over. Primetime: I am going to kill you. Roberts says trying to catch his breath. The camera transitions now to Roberts private gym in his home. Roberts is now dressed to work out as Chad sits on the side watching to make sure Roberts does not kill Ned, or even the other way around. Outrageous Ned: OKAY PRETTY BOY! TO WIN THIS ULTIMATE-X MATCH YOU CAME UP WITH YOU ARE GOING TO NEED SPEED, AND YOU DON’T HAVE IT YA WOMAN! Primetime: Excuse me? Do you know who you are talking to? Outrageous Ned: YEAH, YEAH…GREATEST OF ALL TIME AND JUNK! I REALLY DON’T CARE WHO THE HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE YOUR NOTHING BUT A BUM! YOU GOT NO HEART! YOUR NOT HUNGRY, YOU HAVENT BEEN HUNGRY SINCE YOU WON THE WCF BELT! Primetime: Wait you saw me win the WCF World Title? Chad: Oh he is a big fan. Primetime: Really, well he sure does have an interesting way of showing it. Outrageous Ned: DO YOU MIND??? I AM RIGHT HERE DIRT BAG! DON’T MOCK ME OR I WILL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR NADS! Primetime: Whoa, whoa hold it right there fuss…bucket… Outrageous Ned: WHAT DID I OFFED YOU??? TO DAMN BAD! NOW STOP YOUR CRYING AND GET YOUR ASS ON THE TREAD MILL! Roberts jumps on to the tread mill and begins his workout. He starts out at a nice slow pace but then Ned quickly ups the tempo. Outrageous Ned: DON’T GET COMFORTABLE GIRLY! The speed controls go from one to twenty gradually getting faster. Ned quickly turns the speed from five to ten. Primetime: Please, I run on ten every day. Outrageous Ned: BREAK TIMES OVER! Ned then turns the speed index from ten to twenty in one spin. Roberts is now at a dead sprint and is having a hard time keeping up. Primetime: YOUR CRAZY OLD MAN! DON’T YOU KNOW THIS IS DANGEROUS! Outrageous Ned: DANGEROUS??? HA! YOU WANT TO GET OFF OF THAT THING??? YOU ARE EITHER GOING TO DEAD SPRINT FOR TEN MINUTES OR YOU ARE GOING TO FLY OFF AND BREAK YOUR ASS ON THE FLOOR! ITS YOUR CHOICE MONKEY! Chad: Um…I would just do what he says Paul….Um…Ned don’t you think it would be a good idea to not severally injure Paul before his match at the Pay-Per-View? Outrageous Ned: WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU URIN STAIN??? NOW GET BACK IN YOUR CORNER AND SIT DOWN! After around eight minutes Roberts is beginning to slow down and getting dangerously close to flying off the treadmill. Roberts jumps off doing a back flip and landing on his feet then falling to his ass, but the flip slowed his motion a bit and broke his fall. Ned clicks his stop watch, as Roberts pants heavily trying to catch his breath. Outrageous Ned: WELL…SMALL FRY! YOU LASTED LONGER THAN I EXPECTED! BUT YOU WERE SUPOSE TO HIT THE FLOOR AND BREAK YOUR ASS! NEXT TIME YOU GET CUTE AND DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT BACKFLIP AGAIN I WILL BREAK MY FOOT OFF IN YOUR ASS! Primetime: What??? Roberts says breathing heavily. Primetime: You never expected me to actually do it? Outrageous Ned: ABSALUTLY NOT! NO ONE CAN DO IT MORON! I KNEW YOU COULDN’T DO IT! HELL I COULD NEVER EVEN DO IT! Primetime: Well then what the hell was the point of that? Outrageous Ned: TESTED YOUR WILL TO SUCCEED! IDIOT! EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN’T! YOU HAVE TREMENDOUS WILL, AND THE SPEED TO COMPLIMENT IT! YOU SURPRISED ME LIGHTWEIGHT, BUT WE ARE STILL NOT DONE! Primetime: I am going to kill this guy Chad. Chad: I can see why you feel that way, but honestly there is method to his madness, just keep going see were this goes. Primetime: Yeah, see it leading to my grave. The screen transitions yet again, this time we are inside of the ring. Outrageous Ned: TO WIN ULTIMATE-X YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO FEEL NO REMORSE FOR WHAT YOU DO! Chad: Well that shouldn’t be a problem. Outrageous Ned: SHUT IT BOY! WHEN YOU ARE IN THERE YOU MIGHT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING TO STOP CASH FROM GETTING THAT BELT! ANYTHING FROM KNOCKING HIM OFF THE X-STRUCTURE TO BEATING HIM WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE WITH A CHAIR SO YOU CAN CLIMB ACROSS! NOW TO TEST YOUR REMORSE I WANT YOU TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE! Primetime: Oh, come on I am not going to punch a 90 year old man in the face. Outrageous Ned: PUNCH ME IN THE FACE! Primetime: Dude, I will kill you. Outrageous Ned: YA SEE! THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES DO YOU BOY??? YOU GONNA RUN HOME TO YOUR MOMMA BECAUSE SOME OLD GUY TOLD YOU TO PUNCH HIM IN THE – OH! Roberts punches Ned right in the face and drops him like a sac of crap. Chad: You asshole! Primetime: What? The guy TOLD me to punch him in the face. I am just following my training. Chad: The guy is 90 years old! Did you ever stop to think, that MAYBE this test was to test your control of yourself or something? As Roberts and Monie argue Ned begins to stand up, this time wielding a steel folding chair. He reaches way back and cracks Roberts on the back of the head with the chair! Roberts falls to the matt just as quickly as Ned did before him. Outrageous Ned: NOPE! THIS TEST WAS FOR TWO REASONS! TO TEST YOUR ABILITY TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES WITH NO REMORSE! AND TO TEST YOUR ABILITY TO EXPECT THE UN-EXPECTED! Roberts turns over and looks at the 90 year old man standing over him with a steel chair in hand. Primetime: Sorry I didn’t expect a crippled old man to hit me with a steel chair. Outrageous Ned: THAT’S NO EXCUSE! THAT’S ALL YOU EVER DO IS MAKE EXCUSES! WHAT EXCUSE IS IT GOING TO BE WHEN CASH BEATS YOUR ASS PANSY BOY??? Primetime: Excuse me? CASH beat me? Outrageous Ned: YEAH ARE YOU DEAF??? YA RETARD! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF YOUR CRAPPY ASS EXCUSES! I WANT TO SEE YOU DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO—OH! Roberts kicks Ned between the legs and Ned falls to the ground. Chad: You asshole! The guy is 90 years old! Roberts grabs the steel chair. Primetime: And he makes a good point, do whatever it takes, no excuses. Guess you didn’t see that one coming did you old man? Outrageous Ned: YOUR FINALLY GETTING IT! MY AGE SHOULDN’T STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO! NOTHING IN YOUR MATCH WITH CASH SHOULD STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO! Primetime: What’s next? Outrageous Ned: OH! YOU BETTER BUCKLE UP! The screen transitions once again, but this time we see Roberts and Monie at a local diner eating breakfast. Primetime: Okay…this is part of my training? Outrageous Ned: A BALLANCED BREAKFAST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR DAY! I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU EATING THOSE DOUGHNUTS ANYMORE! EATING APROPRIAT MEALS WILL GIVE YOU THE ENERGY TO CONTINUE THIS TRAINING FOR THE TIME NEEDED TO PREPAIR FOR THE MATCH! THIS X-TITLE IS ABOUT ENDURANCE AND YOUR WILL TO CONTINUE RIGHT? Primetime: Hey dude, will you calm down people are staring. Outrageous Ned: NO I WILL SURLY NOT CALM DOWN! I WILL DO WHATEVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE! Chad: So what else do you have planned for today? Monie asks as he takes a bite of his eggs. Outrageous Ned: WELL I FIGURED I WOULD GO HOME AND TAKE A NAP! THEN HEAD OFF TO BINGO IF YOU DON’T MIND JERK OFF! Primetime: What? Well then what was the point of starting so early? Outrageous Ned: EARLY? THAT’S WHEN I START MY WORKOUT EVERY SINGLE DAY! JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO LOAF AROUND WATCHING TV AND PLAYING DRESS UP DOESN’T MEAN WE ALL HAVE TO! Primetime: Well I do have some promos planed for this week if that is what you are talking about. Outrageous Ned: WELL GOOD FOR YOU! I PLANNED TO TAKE A DUMP TODAY BUT YOU DON’T HEAR ME GOING ON AND ON ABOUT IT! The camera fades to black as the three men continue to eat. History tells us an interesting story whether it be Roberts’, CASH’s, or even Ned’s, but one thing always remains true, no matter how hard you try, you cant change your past. You can either embrace it, or be consumed by it. As Roberts readies himself for this match, more and more things are becoming obvious, Roberts is proving to be everything he says he is, and will prove it this Wednesday on Pay-Per-View, and that CASH’s X-Title rein is going to be coming to a screeching halt at Ultimate-X. Only time will tell if these assumptions are true, but if you ask Paul Roberts the match has already been won.
"Primetime" Paul Roberts  ASW Win Loss Record: 3-0-0 Next Match: *Fade to Black*
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