80% Chance of Rain:

1985 brought on a string of problems in my life. They began back in January in semester had started then. By then, I had easier classes. Your grandfather and I had gotten closer as well. Daddy and I just stopped talking by this point. Momma, oh poor momma. She was just stuck between us both. I didn’t see her stress at the time. I had my own problems.

Shortly after my classes began, I started to feel sick. Like a queasiness in my stomach. At first I thought it was nerves. When it didn’t die down, I feared that I had caught some stomach bug. My fears were confirmed when I started throwing up every thirty minutes. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and went to the nurse’s office. I described my symptoms to her. She only smiled and took me by the hand.

“Honey,” she said. “You’re pregnant.” I gave her a strange look.

“What?” I asked.

“You are pregnant,” she repeated. My eyes widened.

“I can’t be…”

“But you are.”

“For how long?”

“Three weeks.”

I lowered my head. I found myself at a loss here. Freshman in college and pregnant already? This couldn’t be. I wasn’t ready for kids yet. Your grandfather and I weren’t even married then. I wondered how this could happen.

I had to tell him.

I just dreaded the wait until I met up with him again. During that semester, we had different schedules during the day. He also had a night class on Thursdays. I learned that I was pregnant on a Thursday afternoon. Knowing that made things even worse. Cell phones and e-mail didn’t exist in 1985. I couldn’t contact your grandfather right away. I tried to keep myself busy until that evening. I felt my stomach turn just thinking about it. My head swam with how I would tell your grandfather. How would he take it? Did he even want children? We hadn’t really planned that far ahead. We just kind of lived in the moment.

I sighed.

You could say that we ended up paying for it then and there. I couldn’t even focus in my clubs. I didn’t feel like going in the first place. In the end, I headed for my dorm.

By nine o’clock in the garden for your grandfather to come out from class. I stood under the bug-net lights so that he would see me. I watched as the people left the building. I kept my eyes out for him the whole time. Finally, he walked out with a couple of his friends. I flagged him down to get his attention. After a few seconds, he finally noticed me. I paced around as he excused himself from his friends and walked over to me. I gulped as I took a step forward. He greeted me with a puzzled face.

“Star?” he asked. “What are you doing here? What’s wrong?” I bit on my lower lip.

“Well?” Jim asked. “What is it? Speak woman! I would like to get out of this cold.”

“I’m pregnant,” I told him without thinking. Jim froze as he stared at me.

“What?” he asked. I pressed my lips together before speaking again.

“I’m pregnant,” I repeated. “By three weeks.” He looked me in the eye, lost.

“How? When?” he asked.

“New Year’s Eve in Texas,” I replied. “Did we even use…”

“I don’t remember!”

“Oh…”

Your grandfather looked down at his feet. “Damn,” he mumbled. “Shit.” He looked over at me.

“What do you want to do?” he asked. I gave him a blank stare.

“Me?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s your body, isn’t it?” he asked. “I’ll support you no matter what.”

“Oh,” I mumbled as I looked down at my feet. He kept making things difficult for me from there on out.

1985