Get Rid of the "Y" and You're Just Plain Insane

The Camera opens showing Mike Rogers walking on a sidewalk. He seems to be outside of an apartment building. Palm trees are blowing in the wind behind him, and the ocean can be heard in the background as waves splash onto the shores of Clearwater Beach. Rogers keeps walking toward an entrance to the building. Almost as soon as he reaches the door, it swings open, practically knocking him down the steps. JaXion comes walking out of the door as if nothing happened. He's wearing black atheletic pants with a white stripe on the side, a white t-shirt, and sunglasses. He sees the camera and pauses for a moment.

"What'a... what's going on?"

Rogers comes out from behind the door, pulling the bits of the palm tree he collapsed into off of his suit.

"We have an interview damn it!"

"Oh... hey Mike. What are you doin' behind the damn door? You trying to scare me or something? That shits not cool."

"Well, I was... ah christ never mind!"

"Alright man, get your panties out of a bunch. I forgot about the interview. Let's go on up to my condo and get this over with. I just saw Insayne's interview, or whatever the hell it was. Seemed more like an update on Clapton to me..."

JaXion turns around and walks back into the building. Rogers and the camera follow him. All three of them file into an elevator."

"Hey man, hit seven for me will ya?"

The cameraman's hand comes into view and hits the number seven as the elevator starts to move.

"Now look, don't get me wrong, I like Clapton. I like to think I'm a pretty damn good guitar player, and love the great guitarists of the world. To take a phrase from the 70's, 'Clapton is God'. But I don't know about addressing me about a match from a concert, when he's playing what is undoubtedly one of the headline songs. I question where Shawn's head is at. Couldn't he have waited the ten minutes and spout the bullshit after one of EC's best songs?"

"I don't know. I'm more into Jazz."

"Well, nevermind then... Did you fart?"

Rogers makes a face as if he's disgusted with JaXion and the cameraman snickers. The elevator opens and they wait for JaXion to unlock his door. Then they all walk in.

"Welcome to Cassa de la JaXion. You like that name? I'm thinkin' about using it when MTV wants to do that Cribs show here."

"Its charming."

JaXion grabs a Miller Lite can out of the fridge, opens it, and takes a rather large drink.

"Ahhh, its February and its still hot as hell. I'm sweating like a whore in church. You guys want a beer?"

"I'm good."

"C'mon I know you want one."

He tosses one to the camera man who gladly takes the beverage.

"So let's get this interview underway."

"Well, JaXion, you mentioned you saw Shawn Insayne's interview. He seems to think that you are still nothing more than a newby. That you should be excited to even be on the card for Viscious. What do you think?"

"Well here's the deal Mark."

"Mike!"

"Right... the way I look at this is simple. Mr. 'Bad Company' is preaching to me about how he isn't going to take it easy on me just because this match isn't for the title. But it doesn't seem like he's taking me all that seriously. The middle of a concert is hardly the place to give even a half assed interview. And I gotta say, I'm not that impressed with the guy in my first impression. I can assure all of you out there that this match will be more than worth the money. Hell, I'm not quite sure why our match is at the top of the card! I guess its kinda like the first few pages of a book. The author wants to put out one of the most exciting parts early, to keep the readers interested. Well, that is exactly what is going to happen. Our match will be tremendous. Quite fun to watch. I finally have some competetion! So all of the new JaXion followers finally get to see what I am really made of."

He takes another drink of his beer, then looks into the camera.

"My last match wasn't much to watch I know. I dismantled three other men and it really didn't seem all that exciting. Hell, somehow I pinned Dynamite Daniel after nailing him with a tombstone! I don't think I had ever used the tombstone on anyone! But hey, a win's a win right? This week, however, this week will be different. It will be a great match, no doubt. I won't be underestimating Shawn like he seems to be underestimating me. He's going to be in for a rude awakening."

Then JaXion gets up and walks through the open sliding glass door on the other side of the room. He sits out in a chair on his patio overlooking the ocean. The sun is beginning to set as he looks out, seemingly deep in thought. After a long pause he speaks again.

"Man, I watched a new show about the lost continent of Atlantis. You know that story, Matt?"

"Damn it JaXion! My names Mike! And yes I'm fairly familiar with that story."

"Yeah you know. Plato wrote about a great civilization that existed on its own continent about ten thousand years ago. He said it was very technologically advanced, with flying planes and electricity. But then, he wrote that he watched the entire continent become swallowed up by the ocean, every living creature dying, all evidence of their great city destroyed."

"Yeah I know the story."

"You know many people still belive it still exists underneath our oceans. Thats what this show was about. They think they've found it in the Carribbean. Now some crazy bastard thinks he's found it in the Mediterranean."

He laughs a little to himself.

"Whats your point?"

"You know you're really good with these questions, man. Riveting stuff."

Mike shoots him yet another evil look that screams "go to hell".

"You want to know what I believe? I think that Atlantis, as cool of a story as it is, is not real. It is simply a metaphor. Plato wrote it to warn his own civilization and others of what can happen when a prosperous country becomes too power hungry. You want, and want, and want, and the Gods will strike you down."

The thoughtful look is gone from JaXion's face. He stares into the camera.

"Finding Atlantis is nothing more than a dream. False hopes. People wasting millions to search for this non-existant land form. A dream... just like 'Bad Company' Shawn Insayne's pathetic idea of beating me."

"You can talk all you want about how the boys will never defeat the man. How I'm not worth the fan's money. Talk all the garbage you want. Oh, and by all means keep looking ahead to our match at Viscious. Because while you're looking forward to that match, I'll be destroying you in Monday's. You'll be lucky to make it to the Pay-Per-View. I earned this title shot, and if you don't believe it now, I promise you will after Monday night..."

"Sweet Dreams."

With that, JaXion stands up and walks back into his house. The camera follows Mike out of the condo. Fade to black.

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