Festus
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Festus McCain

WESTMATCH XII 2003

Mathew and Festus
Mathew and Festus

Just wettin my whistle a might!
Just wettin my whistle a might!

They done give me this here fancy neckercheef fer bee-in a Posse Marshall, Marshall!
They done give me this here fancy neckercheef fer bee-in a Posse Marshall, Marshall!

This here looks like a good place to sleep it off Mathew
This here looks like a good place to sleep it off Mathew

Festus Speak:

Hoppin' around like a flea on a hot skillet.

Plain as the pimple on your nose.

I couldn't whup a weak kitten.

You couldn't burst a bird's egg with a ballpene hammer.

These spurs will carve you from belly to backbone.

If that don't put you a clod in your shoe.

The onliest thing you get from stradlin’ the fence is a sore backside.

This here (stew) will grow hair on your elbows.

He'll catch fire faster than last year’s haystack.

Tighter than the feathers on prairie chicken’s rump.

You went off and treed yourself the wrong possum.

Safer than chitlins on a city folk’s supper plate.

My tail bone’s gonna take root to my saddle.

Knee high to a beetle bug.

Smoother than the nose of a new born calf.

Got more friends than a dog’s got hair on his back.

He draws trouble like a summer melon draws flies.

I feel better than a barn rooster on a prime hoot.

Sit there like a bole weevil on a corn cob.

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