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| ["We Die Young" by Alice in Chains hits the small warehouse in downtown Norfolk and the crowd comes alive. The camera makes a quick lap around the arena before settling in front of the commentating team of Cliff Anderson and Jack Deruke.] Cliff Anderson:: Ladies and gents, welcome to Riptide! If you missed Holier Than Thou, you missed a good one. Three new champions were crowned and the action was off the wall! Jack Deruke:: That's right there you gutter snipe. Not to mention the fact that No Gimmicks Needed has joined forces with the Chosen. Cliff Anderson:: Nobody knows where the allegiance of No Gimmicks Needed lies at this moment, but it is true that they helped Kris Kartier defeat Brian Zane for the Heavyweight Championship. It should also be noted that Billy Sadistic and Donny J. McNasty will both be out of action for a couple weeks after their extremely brutal Create Your Fate encounter last night. Arkham and Griffin Youngblood are not scheduled to be here, either, and it's safe to say nothing got settled in that war. The Good Doctor is out with a strained right forearm...and ENORMOUS strained right forearm. We've got a skeleton roster here tonight, but I've got a feeling we'll make due. Let's get to the first match. Jack Deruke:: Whatever you say, flapjack. |
| [Teredo is the first man out, and he receives his fair share of cheers. Cletus is out next, and he is also on the receiving end of a fair number of cheers. It seems the crowd is split right down the middle during this match with half cheering for Teredo and the other half cheering for Cletus. It's clear right from the beginning that Teredo and Cletus don't like one another. A battle between cowboy and indian, you could say.] Cliff Anderson:: I was informed earlier today that the winner of this match would go on to get a Television Championship match next week at Riptide, so you can bet both of these men will pull out all the stops here tonight. [Teredo takes a headlock on Cletus and controls the match in the early goings. Cletus fires right back with some big West Virginian rights to the gut. The action is fast-paced and back and forth between the two historical enemies. At mid-match Cletus nearly puts Teredo away with a crushing powerslam that has the fans on their feet. Teredo rebounds back, however, and nearly locks Cletus in the Grip. McNasty fights back and squashes the Native Son in the corner a few times to break the hold. The fans scream and yell as Cletus smothers Teredo with his nasty, smelly armpit. Teredo is dazed and Cletus takes advantage by landing a sideslam. The referee makes the count. 1...2...Teredo lays his foot across the bottom rope! Teredo rolls to the outside and Cletus follows. Technical wrestling is thrown out the window and punches are brought in as a replacement. Both men battle all around the ringside area and even into the crowd. The referee has no choice but to count both men out. Oddly enough, neither of them seem to care...] Cliff Anderson:: Well, it looks like neither of them will be getting a shot at the Television Championship next week... |
| [The camera catches up to the two-time and current Television Champion, W. William Suhgs. The sight of the Barracuda on the Atlantic-Tron causes the fans to go nuts. Something seems a bit different about the T.V. Champion, though. He looks a little...bigger. As he's walking, he crosses paths with the Atlantic Champion, Josh McCool. McCool stops and does a double-take. He can't believe his eyes.] Josh McCool:: Good God, man. You're huge! You're almost as big as me! W. William Suhgs:: Actually, judging from by daily morning weigh in, I'm bigger than you. By three pounds! Josh McCool:: How'd you manage to put on that much muscle over the course of a month? W. William Suhgs:: Well, I probably shouldn't be giving away my dieting secrets, but I'll make an exception this one time. It's just a combination of natural lotion therapy, eating right, and taking in the right protein to carb ratio. Not to mention a strict lifting regimen. [Suhgs begins flexing his monstrous bicep for McCool, showing the effects of his hard work. Marcus Mayham hobbles into view with a filled syringe and presents it to Suhgs.] Marcus Mayham:: Okay, here's the juice... [Noticing McCool, Marcus quickly bites his tongue. Suhgs shoots him a furious glare but quickly covers for Mr. Mayham's blunder.] W. William Suhgs:: I'm a diabetic. I need some...heh heh...juice. I think my sugar levels are getting low...or high...or whatever. [With that, Suhgs exposes his right buttock and jabs the needle in. You can almost see him getting bigger. McCool simply shakes his head in disbelief.] W. William Suhgs:: Well, that should ensure I don't pass out during my match with Gutter. See ya around, McCool. [McCool gives a weak wave as he watches Suhgs and Mayham head towards the ring. The Son of a Bitch still can't believe his eyes.] |
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| Cliff Anderson:: W. William Suhgs regained his Television Championship from Gutter as Holier Than Thou and has been kind enough to give the former champion a rematch. And...oh my God! Look at the size of him! [Suhgs brushes past the curtain and steps out into the entrance. His size truly is enormous...comparable only to Dr. Payne's right forearm. The veins buldge from his skin and he looks as if he's about ready to pop. He makes his way down to the ring and awaits the arrival of Gutter. Gutter stumbles out from the back and his eyes are glazed over. It appears he's been drinking...or smoking...or both. He puts Marcus Mayham's hobble to shame as he tries to find the ring. The fans are laughing at Gutter's stupor. Finally, he manages to find the ring, but he's in no condition to compete. Suhgs makes short work of him and has him choked out with the Golden Sunset before the two-minute mark. Excited, Suhgs begins to celebrate with his Television Championship. He slaps a few hands on his way to the back.] |
| [The camera catches up to Suhgs in the back where a small brigade of police officers are waiting for him. One of the officers steps forward with a warrant in hand.] Officer:: W. William Suhgs, we are hereby placing you under arrest for the illegal use and distribution of anabolic steriods. You have the right to remain silent. Anything can and will be... W. William Suhgs:: No. No! NO! NOOOOO! [Suhgs lets out a gutteral scream, tosses the Television Championship aside, and begins throwing officers left and right. There are a dozen officers on hand and it takes every last one of them, along with some pepper spray and a few billy clubs, to subdue the Barracuda. Suhgs still continues to struggle as Marcus watches on helplessly. With a bit of prying Suhgs is popped into the back seat of a squad car. The car speeds off as Marcus kneels down to pick up the abandoned Television Championship.] Cliff Anderson:: This should be interesting. We've got a belt...but no champion. |
| [The B.F.F.'s are out first and they've up to their old tricks. It seems the fans are actually starting to warm up to the ambiguous duo. Francis and Tootsie enter the ring and await the arrival of the musclebound monsters. No Gimmicks Needed step out from the back and they're showered with boos. Olaf appears oblivious to the crowd's reaction...Thompson seems to enjoy it. They two enter the ring and immediately go after their opponents before the bell.] Cliff Anderson:: Francis de Marco and "Tootsie" Rolle came very close to winning the tag team gold from Pros n' Cons at Holier Than Thou. Now they're been obliterated by No Gimmicks Needed! [Indeed they are. Olaf press slams Francis out of the ring while Thompson stomps the living heck out of Rolle. Thompson throws Rolle into the center of the ring where an Olaf meathook is waiting. Rolle is up...and Rolle is down with the Goozle. But it's not enough. Thompson wants one more. The fans begin booing as Olaf chokeslams him one more time. Thompson drops down for a cover, but decides Rolle needs one more. The fans boos are increasing as Olaf takes him for the ride for a third time. Finally, Thompson plants a foot on Rolle's chest for the easy three-count.] Jack Deruke:: Talk about makin' a statement... |
| [After the match, Thompson motions for a microphone. A stagehand hops into the ring and hands a mic to Thompson...but not fast enough. Thompson kicks in him the groin before shoving him through the ropes to the arena floor. The fans continue to boo. Thompson just grins.] Larry Thompson:: Larry Thompson and the big man here...we're the new kids on the block. But we're not hangin' tough, right Olaf? [Olaf folds his arms across his massive chest and nods slowly.] Larry Thompson:: However, we do have a bone to pick with two men. Jimmy the Klepto and Dr. Payne! [The fans erupt at the mention of the Tag Team Champions. All attention turns to the entrance to see if Pros n' Cons will appear. Nobody comes out.] Larry Thompson:: We nearly crippled that filthy gynecologist at Holier Than Thou. We beat your opponents at Holier Than Thou right here in record time. We're demanding a title match! [The prospect of a No Gimmicks Needed versus Pros n' Cons title match has caught the interest of the fans.] Larry Thompson:: Now that the challenge has been laid, Larry's got one more minor thing to get off his chest...the Chosen. [The mere mention of the name ushers in a wave of boos.] Larry Thompson:: People have been coming up to Larry on the street asking if myself and the big man have actually aligned ourselves with the root of all evil...the Cormiers. After all, Larry hates the Cormiers. Larry hates Revilation. And Larry hates Kartier. So everybody wants to know...did Larry Thompson join the Chosen? Did Olaf join the Chosen? Well, Larry feels it's only fitting to give you a straight answer... [The fans wait and Thompson just grins.] Larry Thompson:: It's none of your damn business! [With that, Thompson drops the mic and exits the ring. Olaf follows as the boos flow like water.] |
| Cliff Anderson:: It looks like Larry Thompson isn't going to give us a straight answer afterall. And speaking of the Chosen, Revilation will be taking on Brian Zane in singles action. It should be noted that Brian Zane suffered a strained calf during training this week, not to mention a minor concussion at Holier Than Thou, but he's still going to compete here tonight. [Revilation is out first and he's accompanied by Destini. The fans don't take kindly to the evil pairing. Revilation steps into the ring and awaits the former Heavyweight Champion. Zane's music hits and the fans go nuts. Zane limps out from the back and he doesn't look happy. The arrogant smirk has been replaced with a menacing scowl. Zane enters the ring and Revilation immediately goes after the injured leg. The referee starts the match as Revilation tries to secure an early advantage. Zane tries to fight back but Revilation does a good job of keeping the Z-Man grounded. Revilation continues to work on the leg as Zane fights for the ropes. Revilation is relentless. He smells blood and he's going for the kill. A Brian Zane uppercut says otherwise, however, and Revilation is stunned. Zane fights back with the crowd behind his every punch. Revilation is staggered when Zane sends him over the top rope with a jumping lariat! The fans erupt!] Cliff Anderson:: Zane is a ball of fire! And he's going out after Revilation! [Zane climbs out of the ring, landing gingerly on his injured wheel, and continues his assault on Revilation. Destini tries to intervene but Zane turns on her before she can do any damages. She throws a punch at Zane but he grabs her wrist. He winds up for a haymaker but instead just shoves her to the ground. The fans erupt. Revilation sees his opportunity to attack Zane from behind but Zane anticipates the attack and shoves Revilation into the ringpost. Zane's actions towards Destini have drawn Kris Kartier out from the back. Zane rolls Revilation back into the ring and goes in after him with a cover. 1...2...kickout! The fans boo Kartier as he checks on Destini. She appears to be okay, so Kartier turns his attention to Zane. Zane goes for an Irish whip but Revilation reverses. Revilation bends down for a backdrop but Zane telegraphs it and plants him with the BZT! Zane goes for the cover but Kartier is quickly up on the ring apron to distract the ref. Curious as to why there's no count, Zane swivels around and spots Kartier on the ring apron. Zane heads for Kartier and as he's doing so, Destini slides a pair of brass knucks into the ring. Revilation grabs the knucks and slides them on. Revilation is up and he spins Zane around. Before he can land the devastating blow, McCool lands a devastating blow of his own! A Facelift that nearly beheads Revilation! The crowd goes berzerk!] Cliff Anderson:: McCool out of nowhere! McCool out of nowhere! [Kartier is really throwing a tantrum on the ring apron. Now he wants the referee to turn around. McCool slides out of the ring with a broad grin on his face. Kartier hops down off the mat and the referee turns around just in time to see Zane cover Revilation. 1...2...3! The fans erupt! |
| [After the match, Zane reaches down into his boot and pulls out a small, folded up paper. It's a list of names. Zane uses Revilation's chest as a hard surface and crosses his name off the list. The fans continue to roar. Not liking what he's seeing, the Heavyweight Champion grabs a steel chair and slides into the ring with is just as Zane is leaving. Zane points to Kartier, then to the list.] Brian Zane:: I'm coming for my belt, eunach. It's only a matter of time. [Kartier is furious as he helps Revilation to his feet.] |
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| Cliff Anderson:: One by one, Brian Zane has vowed to work his way up the ranks of the Chosen until he reaches Kris Kartier. Tonight, Revilation was his first step. But right now it's time for the Main Event...literally. "The Main Event" Kris Kartier defends his Heavyweight Champion against Willis Clayton. [With Kartier already in the ring, Willis Clayton makes his way down the aisle. Destini and Revilation are already at ringside, but it's obvious that their assistance won't be needed. Kartier is the Heavyweight Champion and Clayton has yet to win a match. Clayton enters the ring and is immediately jumped by Kartier. The Main Event pummels him with impunity and drops him on his head with his fisherman's brainbuster less than a minute into the match. It's at this point that Kartier just begins toying with him. Covering him and pulling his shoulders off the mat after a two-count so that he can inflict more punishment on the poor guy. Finally, Kartier locks in the Karta-Hajime. Clayton is already out cold so the referee calls for the bell. Kartier refuses to break the hold and continues to choke Clayton. The referee threatens to reverse the decision and finally Kartier breaks the hold.] Cliff Anderson:: Well, it wasn't much of a match, but Kartier's chalked up his first successful title defense. And it looks like the beating's not over yet. |
| [Revilation and Destini enter the ring to continue the beating of poor Willis Clayton. Revilation and Kartier drive Clayton's head into the mat with a spike piledriver. The fans continue to boo. Destini lays a few boots into the ribs of Clayton. As this is happening, Larry Thompson and Olaf walk out from the back. Thompson is carrying a chair. They enter the ring and all five of them begin stomping away on Clayton's body. Regina Cormier steps out from the back and watches on with sick amusement as Clayton receives the beating of his life. Thompson places the chair around Clayton's arm, then heads to the top rope.] Cliff Anderson:: No! They're gonna break this kid's arm! [Suddenly, the lights begin to flicker. "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones begins to play and the fans come to their feet. All eyes turn to the entrance as Billy Sadistic's music continues to play. All of the action in the ring stops.] Cliff Anderson:: That's the Phenom's music. He's been something of a mentor to Willis Clayton. [After a brief while, the music cuts out. All attention returns to Willis Clayton and Thompson prepares to snap his arm. The roar from the crowd diverts his attention as Brian Zane and Josh McCool run out from the back. They're immediately mobbed when the hit the ring. Thompson and Kartier go after Zane while Revilation and Olaf single out McCool. The numbers are too great and Zane and McCool fall to the numbers game. The crowd lets out a collective groan. The beating continues in the ring and again a loud roar comes from the crowd! Jimmy the Klepto sprints out from the back and dives into the ring. Olaf is there to meet him with a big boot! However, Jimmy's got backup! Dr. Payne runs out from the back with a heavily wrapped forearm. The place is rocking as Payne enters the fray and goes straight for Thompson. All hell is breaking loose in the ring. Willis Clayton rolls to the outside and Destini climbs to the outside as well as the eight men beat the living hell out of one another!] Cliff Anderson:: Folks, we've run out of time! Next week Josh McCool defends his Atlantic Championship against Revilation! We'll see you next week! |
