You Cunts Are Pissing Me Off
Now Playing: Buckethead Feat. Les Claypool And Brain (Primus) - Ballad Of Buckethead
Topic: Cunt Of The Week
You know whats sad? Cunt of the Week was just a name. It was never supposed to be a weekly thing. You mother fuckers piss me off that damn much.
So anyway, this weks Cunt is COCA-COLA!!!!!
Dont get me wrong. I love coke and their products. But they took the 2nd greatest fucking soda EVER off the shelves.
Vanilla Coke.
Why?
CAUSE SALES WERE DOWN! YOU FUCKERS ARE TO BLAME! FUCK YOU ALL!
Vanilla Coke fucking rocked, i know people who will back me on that.
So fuck you all for not buying it, cause i did, you can all die.

R.I.P. Vanilla Coke
2002-2005

You Cunts Are Pissing Me Off
Now Playing: Buckethead Feat. Les Claypool And Brain (Primus) - Ballad Of Buckethead
Topic: Cunt Of The Week
You know whats sad? Cunt of the week was just a name. I Didn't expect this to be a weekly thing. You all piss me off that often.
So what am i pissed about now? Well, don't get me wrong, cause I love Coke; The company, the products, all good. but THEY'RE FUCKING CUNTS!!!!!!!!!
Those dicks took away my beloved Vanilla Coke. And I know people (coughMattcough) who will back me on that. The took away one of the finest Coke products. They also took away Diet Vailla Coke and Diet Coke With lemon. But fuck them.
And you know what. This is your fault. SALES WERE DOWN YOU ASSHOLES. I WAS BUYIN' YOU WERN'T SO YOU CAN JUST DIE, THAT WAS MY 2ND FAVORITE DRINK YOU ASS-WHORES! Now they have that Black Cherry Vanilla. it's OK. BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME, SO FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!!!, I'LL BURN YOU ALL!!
I'm ok now!
So anyway, uh... yeah. I'm sane again. Not really.
I miss you Vainilla Coke.

R.I.P. Vanilla Coke
2002-2005

Cunts, Cunts EVERYWHERE!!!
Now Playing: Weird Al - Angry White Boy Polka
Topic: Cunt Of The Week
This time:
Schools...

So some kids were throwing pennes in a local school. A penny hit a teacher, and one of the kids went up to her and basically said that he didn't know if it was his but he was sorry.
He was supended.

Some 5th graders mixed some Kool Aid mix with some sugar. They brought to school and ate it at school
They called it "Happy Crack."
Suspended.

Some kid brought a squirt gun to school.
Expelled.

Another kid brought in a paintball gun into school for a project.
Expelled.

ANOTHER kid brought one in for after school use.
Suspended.

A little overboard. Probably.

In other cunt related news:

The animated movie Over The Hedge based off of a comic by the same name has banned by the pricks in China because of it's "deception of free world". Dont get me wrong, it SHOULD be banned, but not for that. It should be banned cause Avril Lavigne is in it.

Speaking of movies

To all the people pissed off about the Da Vinci Code:
It's a movie. It's fiction. If the people want to fuck with history like that, let them go for it. And then, dont go see it. Dont read the book. See, theres something you all need to know:
Just cause you dont like something doesn't mean you need to take a stand. Sit down, and shit you're annoying ass up.

Cunt Of The Week Volume 2.0 and Other Stupid Shit
Now Playing: Black Sabbath - Paranoid
Topic: Cunt Of The Week
So apperantly some bitch who is fined constantly for drunk driving(.. like constantly.. weekly)was arrested last week sometime and she's sad because she is going to miss her kids bithday. WELL THEN DONT DRINK AND DRIVE! (And by that I mean Drink and drive but dont get caught.) And she's all "OOH, I"M THE VIVTOM HERE, I CANT GET MY KID A CHRISTMAS PRESENT CAUSE I HAVE A YEAR IN PRISON." Shut your whiney ass up. You're missing it vcause you're a drunkfuck. you probably had your kid because you're a drunkfuck in the first part. So fuck off and die.

Another thing. Some kid was kicked out of school for having a squirt gun. Yup. Thats stupid as hell. I dont see the big deal about fake weapons. They're plastic and non-lethal, so go fuck a goat you whiney prick school board whores. And just cause I can, I blame parent groups too. School boards just hate fun I guess. Why must we hate everything. Why cant we all get along...

and then focus out hate hate just the stuff that needs hated...

Parent groups, hippies, rap music, communist bastards, Illegal aliens, Micheal Jackson, Rugrats The Movie, and Kiss Unplugged in New York.

Then once those things are destroyed we go back to hating eachother.

Now It Time For: CUNT OF THE WEEK
Now Playing: Misfits - American Psycho
Topic: Cunt Of The Week
With the number of dumbasses in the world, I think it’s safe to assume the apocalypse will soon be upon us. That’s my theory. Proof?
So some crazy fucking psycho bitch is suing Kellogg’s and Nickelodeon for… guess… I you said making sweet and sugary foods look fun, you’re a fucking winner.
She’s suing Kellogg’s for making sugary cereals like say.. Trix, look fun. Having cartoon characters and making the kids look like they’re having a good time. So basically she’s a health nut psycho bitch. Well guess what you cunt, I have more fun eating Trix then you’re pussy fucking wheat square bullshit. Go shove something up your ass and stop suing my food organizations.
And that’s not all folks, she’s suing Nickelodeon for SHOWING THE COMMERCIALS DURING CHILDRENS PROGRAMMING. WHAT THE FUCK?! They HAVE to because they get MONEY from showing commercials, and when are they GOING to show it? Nick at Nite when all the old people put on nick so they reminisce to all their 80’s shows? I don’t think they’ll be buying any Fruit Loops.
Then she wants to sue any company that puts famous cartoon characters on the boxes. So lets say Fruit Loops puts Spongebob Squarepants on their box. Lawsuit. And she wants to sue Fruity Pebbles for having Fred Flintstone for a mascot! Can you believe this bitch?
And do you know the main reason for her suit?
Because when she taker her kid shopping she wants to buy the cereals. WHAT THE FUCK, THE WORLD HAS TO CHANGE BECAUSE YOU’RE A CUNT AND YOUR KID WANTS UNHEALTHY CEREAL! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! YOU MAKE ME SICK! You REALLY think that’s worth a lawsuit? Burn in hell you slutbag! Don’t take the bitch shopping then. I mean just refuse to buy it, are you that dumb, you say “No” and walk away. Goddamn. Fucking bitch.

Consparicy Theory-off
Now Playing: Motorhead - Ace Of Spades
Topic: Chat Stupidity
One more updayte tonight... cause i'm Bored.
The following situation happened after i showed ben the Air Killed Kennedy thing from the last entry... then told him to beat it. I call it: The Conspiracy Game!
"Jeff (big Kid with an afro from our school) took a nap and he colored his hair green because he actually wasn’t napping he was passed out from St. Paddy’s day and then a mongoose was on the grassy knoll. But the grounds keeper shot it, then he miss took JFK for a mongoose and he shot at him. But missed and hit the 7up plus bottle who them went and killed JFK"
~Ben
"I think Bob ross killed Kennedy. Except Kennedy wasnt dead. Bob ross just threw red paint at him to make him pretty, and everything got out of hand ..Kennedy was napping He died at the hospital because they shocked him with too many volts and his heart exploded"
~Chris
"The homeless people organized to take out the old people, but then the old people allied themselves with the midgets, but the homeless people got the feminists, but then JFK was all like “hey lets all kill the feminists.” So they did. And then the frogs got angry at the Mexicans, but the Mexicans were to busy eating tacos, and they threw a taco at JFK and JFK got taco sauce on him, and the bulls got free and they chased JFK down the street. And then in the attempt to stop the bulls Rosie O’Donnell tried to eat them but Tom Selic shot at her because he hates her, but who doesn’t, but he missed and hit Chris Farley and Chris Farley fell on JFK and crushed him to death."
~Ben
"Oswald was a Government agent and he was shooting at the guy on the knoll which was actually Ted Kennedy Because he kills girlfriends. And Oswald shot at Ted. But he was a little fucked up, see he had a little drinky drinky beforehand, and he hit Kennedy. Then Ted shot John. Enter Rob Schneider.
Rob, being as hated as he is, wanted to finally fit in and be loved. So he decided to be in the group of shooters."
~Chris
"Wait, I got it, everyone in America was trying to shoot Rob, because he was going to act again, and they all missed and hit JFK."
~Ben
"LET ME FINISH!!
So he hid in a sewer where he met a satanic pigeon who said to him HEY STAR IN THE ANIMAL, IT'S A GOOD IDEA!
But the pigeon's plan failed, because the Animal didn't bring the apocalypse...close though. If only 15 more people had seen it in theatres…but anyways, then the pigeon gave him a gunand Rob shot Kennedy the third time.
Then Marilyn Monroe Possessed that mobster dude and killed Oswald for being a drunk dick."
~Chris
And it kind of died after that.

Monday's gonna suck for you if you happen to have a Mexican slave.
Now Playing: Misfits - We are 138
So on Monday all the illegal aliens plan to go on strike. They’ll skip work and school (hey I might just become illegal for one day!), and protest because they want to be legalized. First off, why, they’re not paying taxes or anything!! Fuck off! Second, what have they done to deserve it? Cross the border illegally? Well, they do assemble Bic mechanical pencils. I’d boycott them but I use them too much. But is that really worth them getting what they want? No, not really.
They say they wont feel they succeeded until “the cities have been shut down.” Good fucking luck! How do you plan to pull that one off. They don’t exactly work in power plants. And they wont effect much of anyone. Some people might ACTUALLY have to go through the burden of taking care of their own kids, mowing their own lawn and, god forbid, cleaning their own house. OH NO!
And they say they wont buy American products. Well no shit. They’re not going to work. What are they going to buy with their $3 slave wages that allow them get them jobs before real Americans.
Plus if, say, some pissed off hillbilly white dude hits one, they WILL riot. So watch your ass. I’m not worried, there’s about 20 illegal aliens in the state of PA, I’m more worried about them old people. They’re evil. And that air. it’s evil I tell you.. No good at all. That whole letting us breathe, it’s a plot. Proof: Where’s your precious air when you’re stuck in an air tight room. That’s right, mocking you. Plus the air killed Kennedy. Who else could shoot him from 3 differnet directions? Thats righ, no one, only the air. Kennedy was going to reveal the airs evil plot to set off nukes all over the world. But I digress.
But if they do riot, I’ll love it, because they’ll DEFINATLY not be wanted here, and they wont get their precious rights. They’ll get a consolation prize. Deportation. Good. In case you didn’t notice, I’m not fond of them. I don’t mind Mexicans, but come in legally you dick. (click here for more on my hatred). Well that’s it. I’m going to have the site updated on Sunday because my illegal slaves will be on strike. (That’s a joke… but I’m seriously updating it early.)

The Nintendo... Wii?! WTF?!
Now Playing: Halloween ~ Misfits
Topic: Pretty pissed...
Nintendo has finally named the Revolution. Yes. Excited? Cause they called it the Wii. Said like we. Did that shatter your dreams too?
I heard about the name today. It was on TV, it went something like this:
And Nintendo has finally named their new system *Heart skips and head snaps up from his new Nintendo Power* They're calling it the Wii "You're fucking with me!" *TV dude begins explaining the name* *Chris' dreams shattered, throws Nintendo Power across the room* "THATS STUPID!!" (Insert day off being ruined here).
Yup. I hate it so much and whoever thought of that needs to be tortured. I hope to god it's changed before it's released. It's highly unlikely, but maybe they?ll some to their senses... I miss the codename. I thought they had a winner on their hands too, but they went and messed it up.
The Nintendo Wii. God that sucks. The Revolution. It had a powerful, strong name. A name that meant change. HEY WERE GONNA FUCKING CHANGE THE INDUSTY BUD! Wii. That sounds like what a 5-year-old calls a piss. MOMMY I GOTTA WII! God damn them.
Maybe it's something 'wii' can get used to (damn the situation made the lame pun lamer) can get used to it. Maybe if we say "Wii" over and over it'll be cool. I still have high hopes for the Wii. But they better not fuck the system up like the name.
But hey, sony, by all means, fell free to call PS3 the PUU.
It's not all bad news though, the DS is scheduled for a New Zelda game. The Phantom Hourglass. Yay, another new one to push back.. and back... and back. If you don?t like the Wind Waker graphics, however, walk away. Now. DO IT. FUCK YOU.
*sigh* Thanks for shattering my dreams Nintendo. I'm done.

About an article
Topic: Lassie Extreme
I'm sure someone will ask me about Extreme Lassie (in June Updates) Basically, it comes from the idea tat not long ago there was a (flop) Lassie movie... yes the dog... inwhich they tried to kind of make it seem more extreme. More TO THE MAX. LASSIE TO THE MAX MAN! LASSIE EXTREME MOTHERFUCKER. I'll stop now.
But basically, they added a more hardcore soundtrack including Alice in Chains' Man in the Box. There was more action added (Interesting note, i almost typed asses... which discribes th people who made this piece of shit)and more deadly positions for the chaicters.Yup. It flopped. And that makes me happy.
Hey sean, I think you just got your rant you fat motherfucker. Stop smoking on the track. It's bad, mmmk?
I'm off to link this to the June page then...
...Fucking june.. I'm already working on June... Damn it.
~Chris

4-18-06: Blog made
Time to do something I never did on MySpace: Post!
Today we got a Blog up for the site, and I'm editing the mainpage to link to the bastard.
So fuck you.
I'll also be adding anything ben wants me to add along the way.
~Chris

Window lickers is my phrase, I’m awesome!
~Ben

Ben will probably have more to say later, but I'm to lazy to wait. Or give a shit.
~Chris

EDIT: I just thought of something. If anyone knows of a place I can upload a huge zip file, tell me here or on the Forum.
~Chris