>
> Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road ?
>
> KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
> To get to the other side.
>
> PLATO:
> For the greater good.
>
> ARISTOTLE:
> It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
>
> KARL MARX:
> It was a historical inevitability.
>
> TIMOTHY LEARY:
> Because that's the only trip the
> establishment would let it take.
>
> ANDERSEN CONSULTING:
> Deregulation of the chicken's side of the
> road was threatening its
> dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
> significant challenges
> to create and develop the competencies required for
> the newly competitive
> market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
> relationship with the client,
> helped the chicken by rethinking its physical
> distribution strategy and
> implementation processes. Using the Poultry
> Integration Model (PIM),
> Andersen helped the chicken use its skills,
> methodologies, knowledge,
> capital and experiences to align the chicken's
> people, processes and
> technology in support of its overall strategy within
> a Program Management
> framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse
> cross-spectrum of road
> analysts and best chickens along with Andersen
> consultants with deep skills
> in the transportation industry to engage in a
> two-day itinerary of meetings
> in order to leverage their personal knowledge
> capital, both tacit and
> explicit, and to enable them to synergise with each
> other in order to
> achieve the implicit goals in delivering and
> successfully architecting and
> implementing and enterprise-wide value framework
> across the continuum of
> poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held
> in a park-like setting,
> enabling and creating an impactful environment which
> was strategically
> based, industry-focused, and built upon a
> consistent, clear, and unified
> market message and aligned with the chicken's
> mission, vision, and core
> values. This was conducive towards the creation of a
> total business
> integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the
> chicken change to
> become more successful.
>
> SADDAM HUSSEIN:
> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and
> we were quite justified
> in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
>
> RONALD REAGAN
> I forget.
>
> CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK;
> To boldly go where no chicken has gone
> before.
>
> HIPPOCRATES;
> Because of an excess of phlegm in its
> pancreas.
>
> LOUIS FARRAKHAN;
> The road, you see, represents the black man.
> The chicken "crossed "
> the black man in order to trample him and keep him
> down.
>
> MARTIN LUTHER KING JNR.;
> I envision a world where all chickens will be
> free to cross roads
> without having their motives called into question.
>
> MOSES;
> And God came down from the Heavens, and he
> said unto the chickens,
> "Thou shalt cross the road". And the chicken crossed
> the road, and there was
> much rejoicing.
>
> FOX MULDER;
> You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
> How many more chickens
> have to cross the road before you believe it?
>
> RICHARD M. NIXON;
> The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
> the chicken did NOT
> cross the road.
>
> MACHIAVELLI;
> The point is that the chicken crosses the
> road. Who cares why? The
> end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive
> there was.
>
> JERRY SEINFELD;
> Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why
> doesn't anyone ever think
> to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking
> around all over the
> place, anyway?
>
> FREUD;
> The fact that you are at all concerned that
> the chicken crossed the
> road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
>
> BILL GATES;
> I have just released the new Chicken Office
> 2000, which will not only
> cross roads, but will lay eggs, file you important
> documents, and balance
> your cheque book.
>
> OLIVER STONE;
> The question is not, "Why did the chicken
> cross the road?" Rather, it
> is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
> whom we overlooked in our
> haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
>
> DARWIN;
> Chickens, over great periods of time, have
> been naturally selected in
> such a way that they are now genetically disposed to
> cross the roads.
>
> EINSTEIN;
> Whether the chicken crossed the road or the
> road moved beneath the
> chicken depends on your frame of reference.
>
> BUDDHA;
> Asking this question denies your own chicken
> nature.
>
> RALPH WALDO EMERSON;
> The chicken did not cross the road....it
> transcended it.
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY;
> To die. In the rain.
>
> COLONEL SANDERS;
> I missed one?