Opening Scene: Two blue chairs, facing each other and audience with table between. Behind,studio wall, overhead projection. (Think Oprah.) Loudspeaker, Ed McMahon.
Ed: Live, from New York City, heeeeeeeeere's Liza!
(Enter...Psyduck? Audience clapping, when seeing Psyduck, clapping subsides)Psyduck: (eagerly), Psi-yi-YI! PSYDUCK! (realizing audience stopped clapping,getting mad) PSYDUCK! (gets headache, stage crew darts onstage, pulls back,Psyduck protests.)
Ed: Sorry 'bout that, folks. (tense laughter.) Now, LIVE from New York City,HEEERE'S Liza! (clapping, enter Vanna White, clapping, then subsiding)
Vanna: (says something, and people realise that she has said a total of 10 words in her many years on Wheel of Fortune, see why. Many groan. Stage crewrushes off stage.)
Ed: NOW, finally, IN PERSON, heeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Liza! (Three people claphesitantly.
Liza enters, big ol' smile on face, en cargo jeans and orangetee. Realising no one is clapping, she drops grin and plops down on couch.
Liza: Now, thank you for that standing ovation. Anyway, tonight, we have a guest from the popular anime Pokemon--(interrupted by Ed on loudspeaker)
Ed: HEEEEEEEEERE'S the Proffesor!
(enter Kadabra)Kadabra: Dahbra! (Liza shakes fist at loudspeaker, audience groans in agony,snickers on loudspeaker.)
Liza: (runs backstage, then voice is heard on loudspeaker.) LISTEN, youbetter quit this! I only hired you because you lost so much money when I WONthat Ed's head contest! I fired you once and I can fire you again! (sounds ofrunning, then breathless Liza reappears) Sorry.
(Flashes Vanna White smile,audience temporarily blinded by white teeth)
Ed: (sounding beat-up) Here is Proffesor Oak. (relieved audience claps, Oak sits down in opening sceen set's chair, sees orange tee, winces)
Oak: You know, orange isn't your color.
Liza: (annoyed) Well, labcoats aren't exactly lovely on you.
Oak: I must wear these for my job.
Liza: And I have to wear this orange tee. Now then, this is an interview, not the fashion police. I'm going to ask you some questions. (Picks up cue-cards)
Liza: Ahem. Now, if you knew you needed to provide Pokemon for four people,why did you only have three, and then "remembered" Pikachu?
Oak: I'm a bit absentminded.
Liza: Then how can you be a renowned professor if you are "absentminded?"
(Oak shifts uncomfortably.)Oak: Um, next question.
(Liza flips cue card)Liza: You don't make many appearances after the first or second episode. Why?
Oak: (tears welling up, Anime style) because nobody cares! Waaa!
Liza: (looking sorry) I shouldn't have asked that question.
Oak: (bawling) I want an appearance! I want more! I invented the Pokedex! Why can't I have as much screen time as my INVENTION! Waaaa!
Liza: (looking distraught) Well, um, I guess it's time to wrap it up. It was a pleasure, Professor, and, uh...
Kadabra: Dahbra! (Liza jumps)
Liza: YEAAHHH!Kadabra: (turning to Oak) Dahbra!
Oak: (jerking up head) Oh, forgive me. (Liza suspended as Kadabra points to her)
Liza: (screaming) Kadabra, PUT ME DOWN! I'm dead serious! This is NOT funny!(Kadabra puts finger down, Liza flops down on couch.)
Oak: I'm sorry.
Liza: (confused) For what?
Oak: Nothin.' Oh yeah, I have a new invention!
Liza: Cool! Tell us!
Oak: It's called Pokemon Gold and Silver!
Liza: So I've heard. (Oak facefaults)
Liza: OK, let's wrap up the interview. It was nice talking to you,
Proffesor.(Oak leaves, few applause, Liza tries to get up, Kadabra laughs).
Kadabra: Dahbra! (Pointing finger at Liza)
Liza: (mad) OOOOH! I don't NEED telchenesis! (tries to get up, fails) Maybe I do.
(Kadabra laughs, then walks off,
Liza stomps off. Then, she runs back onstage. "When I win Publisher's clearinghouse, Boy is HE gonna get it!
