“Friend after friend, they’re all flash in the pan.” –Guster, “Window”
Every book and movie that centers around a girl’s life always seems to include her group of girlfriends. They know each other’s secrets and passions and shoe sizes . . . they’re a group of girls that always seem to be laughing, even if they’re sad (they laugh to feel better, ya know).
Throughout middle school, I knew I had to find these girls destined to be my “crew.” I needed to go to the mall with somebody. Who was I supposed to write notes to? Unfortunately, everyone in middle school seemed to be infected with this disease called “not yourselfitis.” No one was really honest in middle school; everyone had some sort of façade, and the ones that were themselves were really weird.
Ok, so, high school . . . that’s where everyone’s open and stuff, right? Wear what you want, say what you want, etc. Riiiiiiight . . . in high school I did manage to keep a few friends from middle school and make some more. But most of the time, they were just acquaintances. These were the people I went to the movies with; I swam in their pools and ate their food and eventually invited them to my graduation party.
Don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t unhappy. But I came to college thinking “This is where I’m going to meet my real friends.”
I met a bunch of people, and I and four other girls that lived on my floor formed a tight bond within a matter of weeks. A fifth girl joined us a few months later; we became a clique. I found myself telling them things I hadn’t told anyone in high school. This was it, I said to myself. These are the girls that will be in my wedding party.
Over Thanksgiving break, however, I went out with four friends from high school. I had been buddies with them in high school; one had graduated with me and the other three were juniors. I wasn’t expecting too much out of the night- a good movie, a good meal, maybe even a car adventure or two . . .
I ended up having more fun with them than I had had in quite some time. Don’t get me wrong, these girls at college were great, but everything that night seemed so familiar. We talked about the neighborhoods where we lived, and the teachers we’d all had. And I felt like I really connected with them that night. I talked to them a lot over email, and when I saw them over Christmas break, we had a blast.
These girls always made me giggle (not laugh- giggle) with their stories and sayings and even away messages; these fabulous ladies were the ones I could refer to as “my girls at home.” The thing is, though, we hadn’t been “girls” in high school. We were friends, but it wasn’t the same.
I guess it took two of us leaving for the five of us to come close.
My so-called “college girlies” are still great and I still like them lots, but it’s just not the same as with my girls at home. It might be because I haven’t know the college ladies for half as long as these others . . . or maybe the novelty of college has worn off, but going home is really exciting.
Whatever the case may be, I think I’ve found my niche. Like Felicity said, “I finally felt what everyone else was feeling.”
Thanks, girls.
go back