Maybe I am a fool for not snatching him up when I had the chance. But maybe not- I don’t picture him as a part of my life. I don’t know if my grandmother would like him. I don’t picture him going to church with me; my cousin would make fun of me.
And then I think about him and my friends from school. Our mutual friends at high school would not approve, I know it. Plus, I don’t think he is loud enough to be friends with my friends up here.
But why do I worry so much about what other people think? That’s stupid, right? I should care about what I think. ….but these people are all big parts of my life, parts of my life that won’t go away.
Plus there’s that new girl that he has. Every time I think about her, my insides do this dance of convection that make me feel as if I’m going to vomit. But that’s WRONG. I should be HAPPY that he likes her…then I don’t have to think about him and me and feel awkward and guilty.
Why can’t I let go?
20,000 men here and not one comes close to what he was. What he is.
Turn around, girl. Don’t think, okay?
go back