“That’s so high school,” she assured me.
In a way, she is right. You and your girlfriend ARE “high school.” I bet you hold hands in the hallways, and kiss between classes (“I’ll miss you these forty-three minutes!”). You probably go on actual dates- the movies and dinner and REALLY exciting stuff like that. I bet it was awkward when you didn’t have your license.
When is your “anniversary”- the day you celebrate the commencement of you two “going out”? Side note: don’t you think that “going out” a really clunky phrase? “Yes, I really like her; we’re ‘going out.’”
Is she taller than you? Is she taller than me? Is she prettier than I am? Does she know you half as well as I do? Did she make you feel like a better person? Does she help you ignore the people that you can’t handle? How many notes has she written to you this week?
I know this is so terrible. Jealousy consumes me. I was fine today until I saw you put an away message up that indicated that she should call you. I remember one night after a particularly nice conversation, your away message read “sleeping to dream her.” Was that me? Did you mean it? And now, a year later, would you even think about saying that? Would you deny that you said it in the first place?
I don’t know why I’m being so mean. I’m not a mean person. And I almost liked this girl before you started going out with her. I didn’t know her, but I had no reason to dislike her….I still don’t have any reason to dislike her.
I’m sick to my stomach with the way I am acting. I feel the need to talk to you whenever you are willing. I am that like a really sad old dog- you know the kind: the gimpy one that just kind of whines and follows you around. Seriously though. I am in freaking college- why in the world am I chasing over you, a lowly high schooler?
Maybe it’s because I can’t seem to purge you from my thoughts. And here’s the kicker: I can’t blame you because you haven’t done anything wrong. You haven’t been extra-special caring or talkative these past few months, but you haven’t snubbed me or told me to get lost or anything like that. You just kind of stopped saying stuff…..you just kind of let go. Why can’t I?
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