Transcending
When I look at the clock, it tells me its only been eight hours since we arrived at the hospital, and less than two since Brent came out of surgery. I think the clock is broken. It feels like I've been laying here for an eternity, with Brent curled up against me, sleeping off the anesthetic, Mikulas dozing on him, with Thomas sleeping on my chest...and Isaac.
Isaac Lucas Denis. My miracle. Our miracle. Every single day since Brent told me about the pregnancy, I've been marvelling over how complete and utterly lucky I am. And now, looking at him, sleeping soundly, peacefully, laying against the half of Brent's chest that Mikulas leaves vacant...he's even more amazing than I ever could have imagined. Thomas and Mikulas were miracles in their own way, but Isaac is our good luck charm. Isaac, by all rights, should not exist, and yet somehow he is here. His tiny hand is curled around my finger. His breathing is low, soft, but I can hear it in the blissfully silent room. Inside that chest, his little heart is beating, pumping blood to all the other tiny parts of his perfect body.
My life could not possibly be better. No trophy, no championship, no achievement in my career could come anywhere near this. My heart is so full already, and with every soft murmur from Isaac's little, pink lips, it expands further, until I'm left wondering how long I've got until it bursts from my chest.
I should sleep; I'm exhausted, I haven't slept in over thirty hours. I just can't bring myself to close my eyes. I can't bring myself to stop looking at him. He's just so completely and utterly flawless. His hair is dark, silky smooth to the touch, the same way Thomas' looked when he was a newborn. But he's got Brent's nose, and I can already see myself teasing him, pinching it, pretending I've stolen it from him. Behind those eyelids, with that fringe of long, black lashes, his eyes are the same eyes I look into every night when I go to sleep, the same eyes that wake me every morning. He is a perfect balance, half me, half Brent.
And he is absolutely perfect. I may never, ever take my eyes off of him. Whether or not the clock is broken, I'm going to keep staring.
It isn't every day you get to witness a miracle.
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