This time
All I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
This time
You burn me with your eyes
You see past all the lies
I try
To make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don’t know what else I can do
I’ve seen it all and it’s never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you
Don't give up on me yet,
Don't forget who I am.
I know I'm not there yet,
But don't let
Me stay here alone.
This time
All I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
I’ve seen it all and it’s never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you.
Take me away.
-Lifehouse, “Take me Away”
I curled up in bed, hugging my pillow tightly. It was nearly two in the morning, and I had to be awake at eight for practice, but I was still wide-awake. Three-hour phone conversations with your boyfriend will do that to you.
Boyfriend.
I smiled giddily as I rolled the word around in my head. It had been more than a month since Steve and I had started dating, but I still couldn’t quite get my mind around the idea.
Steve Yzerman is my boyfriend.
I sighed happily and snuggled deeper under my blankets. Just as my eyelids started to feel heavy, the phone rang. I grinned brightly when I looked at the caller ID.
“Hi, Stevie.”
“Hi,” he said, a smile painting his reply. “I still wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?” I asked, surprised. What could he have forgotten?
“Nothing. I just wanted to hear you answer the phone all half-asleep and groggy. Its cute.”
I felt my cheeks heat up, and I giggled softly into the phone, “I miss you.”
“Me too, Jiri,” he murmured, “Its been so long since I kissed you. Since I hugged you.” He paused for a moment, then laughed quietly, “Hell, it’s been way too long since I’ve seen you.”
I’d just gotten home from a weeklong road trip. I hadn’t seen him since before we left. Even though we talked on the phone every night, and I’d been on the phone with him basically since the minute I’d gotten home, it just wasn’t the same as physical contact. Not that we’d done anything more than make out—but sometimes just being held was worth everything in the world.
“I know,” I sighed, “I was just laying here, hugging my pillow, wishing that you were here. But it is nothing compared to the real thing.”
He laughed, “Well, I’m sitting in my gazebo with a blanket wrapped around me, freezing my ass off just so that I can talk to you and not wake up Lisa or the girls. I have reached entirely new levels of pitifulness.”
My brain slipped into hyper drive as soon as he mentioned being in the gazebo. I glanced up at the clock, then rolled my eyes. Hey, who needed sleep? I grabbed a pair of jeans and threw them on very quietly, then headed downstairs. As I was opening my back door, I exaggerated a yawn.
“Stevie, I’m really tired. So I’m going to hang up now.”
“Oh, that’s right. You have practice tomorrow morning. I’m sorry,” he paused, then spoke a little softer, “I love you, Jiri. And I miss you.”
“I love you, too, Stevie. Good night.”
As I tossed the gray comforter from my bed in the passenger seat of my truck, I smiled to myself.
It was definitely going to be a good night.
I stared up at the stars for a long time after I hung up with Jiri. It really was pitiful. I had a wife and three beautiful daughters, but here I was, feeling ridiculously lonely.
I stood carefully, my knee protesting the cold that I was subjecting it to. I folded the blanket messily, then headed towards the house. The moon was sparklingly bright, and more than sufficiently illuminated the yard for me. And it also allowed me to see the other person walking towards me on the path.
Lisa? I wondered as the figure moved closer. The person was draped with a blanket over his or her body. A very tall body.
Not Lisa.
As the figure moved closer, I started to recognize the slow, confident walk, and I smiled.
Jiri, I whispered, bewilderment quieting the word. I stopped, waiting for him to reach me. A sweet smile brightened his face, and the blue of his eyes glittered with the moon’s reflection.
I grinned suggestively at him, happy beyond words that I was looking at him. “Minx,” I teased playfully, slipping my right hand into his left.
He giggled softly, then kissed my forehead, “You said you were cold. I wanted to help,” he then wrapped his arms around me, which simultaneously surrounded me in the warmth of his blanket, “Better?”
“Getting there,” I answered, nuzzling his neck right where skin met fabric, wondering silently what I’d done to deserve him.
He pulled away from me, and I whimpered from the loss of warmth. “Shh,” he reassured me, pressing a finger to my pouting lips. He walked back to the gazebo and laid his blanket on the floor of it, then motioned for me to follow him. He grabbed the blanket from my hands, then he sat down and spread it out on top of him. “Come here,” he whispered, curling a finger at me.
I followed his lead, and then we both lay down, and he pulled me into his arms. I snuggled up against him, burying my face in the crook of his neck, pressing kisses to the warm skin there. He shivered slightly and tightened his arms around me. “I love you,” he breathed, then kissed to top of my head.
I shifted around until I could look him straight in the eye, “I love you too. So very much.”
He smiled and moved his leg until his calf was rubbing against my ankle, his eyelids drooping slightly. I kissed his grin, then let my tongue slide across the seam of his lips until he moaned, then I slipped inside to taste his mouth. His fingers raked through my hair as he kissed me back, growling deep in his throat. He cupped a hand around the base of my neck, cradling my head, then ended the kiss, just staring up at me. He just kept gazing up into my eyes, as if I amazed him. He kept looking until I laughed nervously, completely flustered under his scrutiny.
“You’re perfect, Stevie,” he whispered huskily, then pressed a kiss to my temple.
I smiled shyly, then cuddled against his chest, my head resting on top of his heart. Its beat drummed in my ears, echoing my own. The sound mixed with his slow, even breathing, and soon I was yawning against his shirt, hugging him tighter.
He had practice in the morning. And a game the next day. And another road trip that wasn’t nearly far enough away. But for tonight, we were together. His heartbeat was rocking me to sleep; and he was holding me in his arms, keeping me warm.
And he was absolutely taking my breath away.
