Note to self: Don't attempt to fight someone six inches taller and fifty pounds heavier than you.

       When someone that big tries to sit on you, its not pleasant.

       And now I'm just hoping that the six goals that we scored will be enough highlights for SportsCenter. I think that Mario's three points, as well as Holik's ass-kicking at the hands of Danny will take up too much time for them to show Lindros trying to suffocate me.

       I never should have gone after him; it was stupid. But I couldn't help myself. Chico had put me out there with the sole purpose of annoying Lindros, because he knows that's when I'm at my best, when I'm pissing someone off. I don't think anyone expected me to drop my gloves. But I couldn't help myself.

       I remember looking at him the entire game, into those cold, hard, blank eyes, and all I could think of was how badly I hated him. I despised him with every fiber of my being; so I went after him.

       He deserved to have his ass kicked.

       Now I'm just hoping that Theo doesn't see it; I don't want to upset him. He's been amazing since he came back, and I don't want to do anything to hinder his recovery.

       But when it was happening, I saw Lindros with that cocky grin, and I thought about the nights I spent awake until four in the morning, holding Theo's shaking, sobbing body in my arms. I saw Theo's eyes, the beautiful green of them marred, reddened and swollen from crying. I heard Theo's frightened voice over the telephone that night in September when he relapsed.

       All of it was Eric's fault, and I wanted revenge.

       I'm an idiot, I realize that now, but at the time, I just wanted him to cry the way Theo had; I wanted him to hate himself the way Theo hates himself. I wanted him to hurt the way he hurt Theo. I wanted to leave him lost and empty and dependent.

       The phone is ringing when I finally get home at nearly one in the morning. "Hello?"

       "Andy?"

       Happy. He sounds happy. I smile tiredly into the receiver, "Hey, love. I hear you had a good game."

       He explains his goal, his voice calmer than its been since...well...I've never known him to be this relaxed. Despite the chill in my house, his mood warms me. "We've won four in a row," he tells me excitedly, "the best streak of the season. And then I got home and saw that you had won too. It was a really good night!"

       The smile in his voice is contagious, and I find myself grinning faintly, resting my head back on the couch, closing my eyes and pretending that he's here, next to me, that warm, contented smile radiating heat through me. Instead, he's a few hundred miles away, most likely cuddled up under his blankets in his big, soft bed.

       "I love you," I whisper quietly, swallowing the lump in my throat.

       He gasps a little...he still hasn't gotten used to hearing me say that to him. He hesitates a moment more, but then, almost under his breath, he murmurs, "I know."

       My eyes drift open slowly and I sit up; he's never responded that way before.

       "I saw the fight," he adds, only a whisper, "You're amazing."

       I think I hear him sniffle, but the blood rushing to my face muffles the sound. "But...he kicked my ass."

       He definitely sniffles this time, and his voice is cracking when he speaks, "It doesn't matter. You tried. For me."

       "Theo..."

       "Andy, I've never had anyone fighting for me, literally or figuratively. I've had to do everything on my own," he pauses, clearing his throat, and he's a little louder when he continues, "But not anymore. You're there for me. You were there over the summer while I was crying and broken and unable to even just function in everyday life. And when I fell apart, you didn't condemn me. And now I see you out there, literally fighting for me..." he takes a deep, shaky breath, and I can hear the traces of a smile painting his words, "I know you love me. How could I doubt that?"

       I'm silent for a few heartbeats, biting my lip to stop the tears threatening to spill onto my cheeks. I made a fool of myself, but now he knows. He understands how much he means to me. His next words break the silence, as well as my resolve against the tears.

       "And...I love you. I know that now. I trust you, and I wouldn't tell you that I loved you if I didn't trust you. And I can't believe I did tell you...but it was the easiest thing I've ever said to anyone. I love you, Andy, and I don't know what I would do without you."

       I may have been a fool tonight, but its okay. I'm a fool that has earned the love and trust of Theo Fleury.

       And I don't mind being a fool for him.


I am reaching for you,
but my arms aren't long enough.
I am running to you,
if I could go a little faster.
I am crying to you,
but I can't hear my own voice.
I am waiting for you...
and trying not to fall asleep now.
I'm clumsily dancing away this fear,
I'm stumbling closer to you,
and I'm tumbling over my pride.
I would be a fool...
for you.
-Lifehouse, "Fool"