Winner and Losers:
Week 2
By Oliver Beene
AWBL Analyst
Before I start my article, I’d like to address a certain colleague of the AWBL media. This man would be Skeeter Salmon. Now, Skeeter, it wouldn’t even be a fair assessment to say that you are a closet Team Barilar fan. As a matter of fact, you are a raging admirer of Team Barilar and it wouldn’t shock me if you did, in fact, have a crush on Team Barilar captain Kyle Barilar. I wonder what kind of "birthday present" you got him.
With that out of my way, onto Winners and Losers
Winner: The Rookies
Let’s start off with perhaps the biggest surprise: AJ Gillung. No one expected much out of Gillung this year. Heck, most people didn’t expect him to even show up. He was an afterthought, to say the least. He shot out of the gate, batting .474 with 5 home runs. He is a pleasant surprise to say the least. On a side note, Dr. Kerr loves him.
Next, we get Mike Pride. We all know about his hair, his earring, and his large um, well you’ve heard the stories. But what people didn’t know is that there’s more to this man than style; there’s substance. He has proven to be a dedicated and above average AWBL player. At the very least, he is fun to watch and is human entertainment.
Last of the rookie winners is Andy Snyder. Team Walker captain Ronnie Walker expected big things out of Andy this year, and so far he has not disappointed. Perhaps the best pure athlete in the league, Andy is quick in the field and possesses a powerful stroke at the plate. He has teamed up with Joey Troupe to carry Team Walker at the plate. It appears that he has emerged as the 2nd best player on that team, at least for the time being. It appears that he will only improve with acquired experience. Plus, he has nice legs.
Losers: Select AWBL veterans
There have been several AWBL veterans that have not stepped up and produced this year with added pressure from a solid 2K2 season.
The biggest disappointment to date has been Ronnie Walker. Not only has he performed miserably at the plate, his team has underachieved. Sometimes he has no shows and at other times he has an overabundance of players. This has obviously affected the chemistry for Team Walker. What will he do when Troupe, Snyder, White, Walker, Hetrick, Pritchard, and Davis all show up? He has to play his best 4 (Troupe, Snyder, White, Walker). How will that sit with his bench players? Only time will tell. Although Walker has been tremendously effective in the field, he must improve at the plate for his team to have any chance to win. Even his CMA good luck charm Lisa Byars hasn’t helped him this season.
Next up is Dave Zimmerman. Dave was poised for big things and started the season with a bang, tagging 3 home runs. Then, he became confused with Walker’s over the top delivery and hasn’t broken out of his funk since. He is like a great offensive NBA team; when his offense is working, he tries hard on defense. When things aren’t going his way offensively, his defense suffers from lack of effort. Zimmerman must learn to give 110% at all times in order to grow into a great wiffleball players, as he has the potential to do.
Finally, this list concludes with Dustin Guidash. Dustin is batting an unusually low .455 with 1 HR, and only 5 RBI’s. Plus, his defense, which is usually spectacular and Gold Glove quality, is now only average at best. Perhaps he is still hung over from his celebration of the Orangeman winning the national title? Whatever the case, Guidash is the most likely of the 3 to return to his All-Star and MVP candidate form. This is a must for the struggling Team Guidash. The team feeds off of Guidash and he seems to dictate the level of play from his team.
Winner: The fans.
So far this year, we’ve had the best early season fan attendance in the history of the AWBL. The fans have been treated to some great games as well as great antics. They certainly have not been disappointed. Fans include Chrissie Lingenfelter, Lisa Byars, Alyson Kephart, Megan Burkley, Megan Nicholson, as well as the neighbors who stop and shake their heads anytime profanity is screamed.
The losers: Those who do not attend
We’ve had several cases this year of broken promises. These promises have included "I’ll come if I’m allowed", "I’ll come if my friends go", and "I’ll be there". While it’s only your loss if you don’t attend the AWBL, don’t be gay about it and A) promise to come because you don’t want to say no or B) make lame excuses afterwards on why you didn’t go. You’re the ones missing out. You still have 8 plus weeks to attend the AWBL. I bet if we told you there’d be dirtbike tricks in between games, you’d be there an hour early. And you’d bring condoms.
Loser and Winner: The Shadow
(loser) – AWBL 2K3 site (winner)
If the Shadow ever wants to be respectable, it should take some lessons from this fine site. Here, we have great journalists writing about relevant issues that people want to read. There are no punk bands, U.A.B.’s (underage boys), or any of that stuff. You know why that stuff isn’t on here? Because NO ONE likes it! I have no problem with punk bands and I do like some of them, whether I am a poser, or whatever you wanna call me, I don’t care. I listen to the music I like, end of story.
But right now I want to take you on a trip down memory lane.....remember....during the summer a few choice males were berated for hanging out with the so-called U.A.G.’s (underage girls)? So, back then, U.A.G.’s were to be looked down upon and criticized, but now U.A.B.’s are all the rage? Why is there always a double standard? Why are we using abbreviations so much? If there were more Good Idea/Bad Idea sections or more articles featuring sports, the Shadow would sell at least a million copies. But as it is, it needs some real work. If I want to read a 4 page article on freshman boys that haven’t done anything noteworthy such as win an award or be student of the month, then I’ll log on to one of their 300 angelfire sites for all the different garage bands they’re in, all with the same people, just different names. You can profess your love for them elsewhere, just not with my 25 cents. I suggest you take cue from this website and please the majority of the people, not the fraction of a percent that like you the most.
Just remember: I don’t pass judgement; I make observations.
Catch Oliver Beene on Fox every Sunday night at 8:30 PM
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