Driving late one night, I experienced one of the worst things ever in my life. I was driving downtown with my girlfriend. There was a slight rain falling from the sky as I drove her towards her house. I was smiling and laughing as I talked to her, but in a matter of seconds, my world would be changed forever. From the corner of my eye, I saw a car hit the passenger side of my car at full speed. I heard the clashing of metal, the breaking of glass, a scream that died away slowly, and my own quick, throbbing heartbeat. I called out, but I didn’t hear a reply. I slowly turned my head towards the other side of the car. I saw her fragile body sitting in the passengers seat. Her head was hanging loosely along the window that was jagged with broken glass. I broke down and cried at this sight, and I realized she would never be back again. As I sat in the darkness of the night, I felt the blood stream down my face, and I heard sirens in the distance. I waited for help to arrive. I couldn’t think, and before I knew what was going on, I was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

It was March 14, 2001, when I woke up. I looked up and saw a nurse in front of me. Remembering the night before, I managed to spit out the words, “Is she dead?” She looked up at my face and gave me a weak smile. She bit her bottom lip, and then she said, “I’m sorry. She didn’t make it.” I sat there for a long time not moving at all. The feeling was unreal. The first person I had truly cared about had just been taken away from me. I fell back into my pillow, and I stared at the ceiling. All I could do now was blame myself for her death. I felt so responsible for her life. I thought that if I had been more careful she would still be alive. I put all this hatred on myself, believing that it was no ones fault but my own. For those days in the hospital, I had a hard time, and when I finally returned home, the feelings stayed the same. I lived with the pain for five years. I couldn’t help blaming myself. During that time in misery, I felt like nothing could be the same again. This was something, which I later realized, that wasn’t true.

It was March 14, 2006. I had returned to the scene of the accident that occurred five years earlier. I had walked down that street many times before. I would make myself go and relive the past. Today was more special though. It had been five years and the thoughts of the accident still flowed in my mind vividly. As I walked along the street those many times, I would think of how things could have been different, which made me blame myself even more. I could even hear her voice in my head sometimes. Today though, the voice I heard was more real. I heard the soft whisper in my ear. I stopped and stood there confused. I thought that maybe I was losing myself, but I heard the whisper again. It wasn’t clear enough to make out the words, but I could comprehend whose voice it was. I knew it was her voice. It lulled me in its direction like a sweet smell on a warm summer day. As I followed it down an alley, I felt at ease. A calm feeling surrounded me, and for the first time in five years, I felt a slight bit at peace with myself. The voice led me on, and as I turned the corner of the alley, I stood there vexed. When I first looked, I knew I saw her. I blinked once, and when I opened my eyes, she was gone. I fell from my trance and looked at my surroundings. I stood in an alley that stopped at a brick wall. It was slightly dark, but light could still be seen. Now that I realized where I was, I turned around to leave the alley. As I turned, I saw a figure from the corner of my eye. I jumped back after being startled. I opened my eyes wide when I realized what was sitting in front of me. I was startled yet drawn. As I looked close, I finally came to the conclusion that it was my girlfriend. She stared back at me with a look in her eyes that showed me not to be afraid. I took a step closer, and she smiled at me. I reached my hand out to her cautiously. She spoke to me as I did this. She whispered, “It’s not your fault,” and as my hand reached her, she vanished from sight.

I looked up from where she sat on the ground, and to my surprise I was standing on the sidewalk where the accident took place before. I turned around trying to figure out what had happened. My head was telling me that everything was all a dream, but in my heart I knew that it really had happened. I could tell because it felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I smiled because for the first time in five years I could be happy. I was finally reassured that things would be okay now. I’d seen her one last time, and she made me feel like she was watching over me. From then on I’ve lived with a great happiness about me. Knowing that that night long ago was finally resolved in my mind, let me live with peace from then on.