August 2003
8/31/03
I’ve pretty much either been busy, or just didn’t really care to update this, so that’s why it hasn’t been done. Not that bad things have been happening, just that I didn’t care to do it. Friday night was spent at home which wasn’t too bad. I was actually planning on doing that since I purchased LOTR: The Two Towers at K-mart before I came home from work then. I also had my first taste of Pepsi Vanilla. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t something I would want to drink all the time. I think I’ll just stick to regular Pepsi. So I did my usual Warcraft thing then watched my DVD. It was still good although it wasn’t as exciting as it was in the theatres. It just gives it an added boost when you watch it in the theatre, but still good nonetheless. Ashley called about 2/3 of the way through it so I talked to here and watched. Eventually she had to go because she was going to Wal-mart with here from Casey. So I finished up my movie and then got online and did my Warcraft thing again. I need to get rid of the game. I’m addicted. And that was Friday. Saturday wasn’t too bad either. I sat around most of the day till about 3 when I left to clean the church. I listened to my Atticus compilation disk the whole way through for the first time. It’s pretty good. I had to do my monthly window cleaning job which wasn’t so bad this time. I’m not sure why. Weird I suppose. So then I headed out towards Clarion. Being that I sort of have a cell phone now, I called Ashley to tell her I was on my way out. I came to find I hate cell phones a lot. At least when you use them in this area because you can never keep your service. So I don’t enjoy using it too often. Hmmm, so I went to her house and we left a little after I arrived and ate at Vince’s Tavern. The meal wasn’t bad. I didn’t finish it. I had shrimp alfredo with other seafood in it that I couldn’t quite place on what it was. At least it didn’t have vegetables in it. My salad did have the core of the lettuce in it though. Who puts the core of the lettuce in a salad at a restaurant?? Oh well. So after that we went back to her house and attempted to play Yahtzee, but her parents left and took her little brother so we just quit pretty much. I would have lost anyway, so I feel that I really didn’t lose at all since it wasn’t finished. So we laid around till we eventually made our way over to Tyler’s house. We watched the end of Kung Pow and then watch some “Old Blue Eyes” Frank Sinatra on WQED. It was interesting nevertheless. I think it was around 12:30 when we left. So back to Ashley’s house to watch tv till I had to leave at 1:30 for my 2 o’clock curfew. And to finish up, today has been very boring. I should be doing my homework, but I figure, I have tomorrow off and Tuesday off, so I have lots of time to get things done. So I’ll prolly end up doing it all Tuesday night. Don’t you just hate procrastination?? I know I do. So that’s that. There’s an Alumni soccer game tomorrow at 11 then a picnic afterwards. I think that should be fun even though we’ll destroy the varsity team. Well I’ve done enough writing…night
8/28/03
What's happened the last two days you might ask?? Or you might not ask, probably the latter. Oh well, it doesn't matter. Wednesday, the second day back to school was a slight bit better than the first day back I suppose. Not that much better, but it was very slightly better. I wasn't too tired when I had to get up for work, so that was good at least. Work was a little hectic, but it went by quite quickly, so I was pleased with that. I was surprised to find that they had my favorite granola bars in the vending machine, so that was my breakfast. So in Assembly Language, I got a really good understanding of the basic parts of computer hardware. Ummm, although I knew it already, it was good to just sit back and enjoy it. And then to dreaded Symbolic Logic. Yes, I was completely lost in the class, but it's alright. We did group work and they answered everything, so I was pleased. I really need to get that damn book, but the books I ordered still aren't in yet and I really need them. I need my philosophy book really bad, not really my assembly language book just yet, and I guess not really my Earth Science book. So I can deal for a short while longer. But not too long. So then back to Becker for Data Structures. I guess I'm a little lost in there, but I used to know all this stuff. That damn atrophy always gets me. So I'll have to get back into the swing of things since he doesn't seem to explain things as well as other proffesors have before. And then lunch finally which wasn't too grand. A stupid chicken parmesan hot pocket, or should I say a shitty lean pocket, and a Sierra Mist. Needless to say a bad lunch. Then french which wasn't too bad. I talked to a few people in there so that was good. I also saw Heider before class and she gave me a high-five. Ummm, yeah. Anyways, Earth Science was decent. I wasn't bored actually so that was good. I was surprised because we were talking about rocks and minerals. I was surprisingly pleased. And then off to my warm, wonderful home where I had a decent meal, garlic pork. So that wasn't bad. The bad thing was that I went to play a little bit at varsity soccer practice, and I almost threw it back up. It's alright though. It was worth it. I was playing like a champ again, so I was happy with myself. We even beat the starting team. So today was rather boring. All I did today was my French homework and sit on the computer either playing Warcraft or talking to people. I mowed the lawn when my brother came home from school. Then off to my soccer practice. It wasn't bad. The kids don't seem to be as good as they were during the first couple weeks of practice. I wonder what happened. So I came home and had another good meal. Chipped steak sub with curly fries and a salade. A very good meal by my standards. Oh and it was with chocolate milk. So tomorrow is Friday and then if I survive through that it'll be a 4 day weekend. Hopefully I'll get to see Ashley this weekend for a good while, and maybe some other people. I don't really know who's coming home if anyone else. Tyler is I believe. Maybe I'll hang out with him sometime. I don't know. All in all things are decent, but I'm not going to tempt fate. Things will get worse I'm sure. So I'll just deal with things now and worry about others later. That's all for tonight folks...night
8/26/03
No motivation to really write anything, so this will be short but not sweet. Today was wasted, and I feel that I should have done something constructive. Instead I spent it sitting around wasting my time. I don't think it would have mattered if I would have tried to do something anyways. It would have been just as much of a waste of time because I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on it anyway. So I'm just living out my days, hoping this time won't stay...night
8/25/03
Hmmm, what I'm feeling right now? Wishing for something better, but realizing it won't be here right now. Anyways, Sunday was a good way to spend my day before school starts, so I was happy with that at least. Of couse I spent that with Ashley, so at least the entire weekend wasn't a complete loss. We just hung out at her house and with her little brother a lot it seemed. It was alright though I suppose. He wasn't that bad other than when he was cranky. What can you do though? Little kids can be like that sometimes. So then we attempted to watch Half-Baked, but she kept falling asleep, and I'd already seen it a lot of times, so not much of it was watched. Not too late of a night then though because school was in the morning. It was good enough for me though. At least it wasn't spent at home like Friday and Saturday. And now to school today. It was very hectic and stressful. I really didn't want to be there to begin with. I arrived there to find that I couldn't find a single open parking spot anywhere on campus. So eventually I ended up parking on the basketball courts. So then I headed to the office to see if I could help out till my class at 10, which I did help out. So now I'm working in the morning from 8-10. So early mornings for me instead of at 10 like I was hoping. Oh well. I'll have my Tuesdays and Thursdays to sleep in. So my first class wasn't too bad. It was with Dr. Wyatt, so that's about the only class to look forward to. He asked me some stuff abotu soccer after class so that gave me time to get my mind off of school. Then to Philosophy which I feel that I'm going to hate already. The prof. is a funny guy and all, but the class seems to be completely stupid and boring. So I might end up getting a not so great grade in there maybe from lack of effort. I don't know. It'll probably be good for me to get a bad grade anyway. I'm due for it I think. Then back across campus for 254. It's a class that I would be interested in but I'm not sure if I'm going to like the prof. I don't know if he'll explain things well enough. I guess I'll find out. Then to work with no lunch. I hadn't eaten all day long. Then to french which might not be too bad. I guess this Michele girl who is Abby's friend is there. Maybe I'll talk to her some. Or not. I don't know. And finally to Earth Science which probably won't be too bad. I'm not sure yet though. So not a horrible day, but I really have no motivation to be at school. Maybe it'll get better as the semester goes on. I'm already looking forward to the long weekend though due to Labor Day. It can't come soon enough. And after class I went to 7-11 to see if Ashley was busy which she was, so I just got myself a cappuccino and headed home. A boring night. I had to pick up my brother from soccer against my will. Well not that I had anything to do since I don't have my books to read. Hopefully I'll get them tomorrow. I'll find out. So it'll be a lazy day tomorrow. I'm really glad I only have class Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I feel I'm going to need the time off. Well I dont' feel like saying anything else...night
8/23/03
I feel lost and alone, and I think that's how I'm going to feel all semester long.
"See all those people on the ground
Wasting time
I try to hold it all inside
But just for tonight
The top of the world
Sitting here wishing
The things I've become
That something is missing
Maybe I...
But what do I know"
"And now it seems that i have found
Nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
Slow it down slow it down"
"Without it all
I'm choking on nothing
It's clear in my head
And I'm screaming for something
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
On my own
On my own
On my own
On my own"
"On my own
On my own
Without it all
I'm choking on nothing
It's clear in my head
And I'm screaming for something
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
On my own
On my own
On my own
On my own"
- The Used "On My Own"
8/22/03
I didn't post yesterday because if I would have the day wouldn't have been justified by myself. So I'll do it now. Yesterday was a pretty good day for the most part. After doing a few things in the morning, after I had been awoken by Keith, I headed out to Clarion. I met up with Nicole, Keith, and Jen there and we went and ate at the new restaurant at the mall, The Roadhouse. I wasn't too impressed with it. There wasn't a huge selection on their menu, so I don't know if I'll go there all too often. So after that we messed around in the mall till about 2 when Keith and I drove out to Ashley's house. We met Ashley's roommate Jess and her sister Erin there. Then we met Dusty and headed to Cook's forest to go canoeing. I had a really good time there. I'm not sure about everyone else, but I decided I needed to just relax and enjoy myself so I did that. I'm not sure how long we were there. Maybe a little over an hour if that. So upon finishing that we went to the Sawmill where I bought a sundae and found out that Ashley had to go in to work since she was on call, which wasn't cool at all. So she took Keith and I back to my car and she went to work. So went to the mall to kill time becuase she wanted to meet up when she got off work. So we did that and went to Walmart where I bought two new CD's. I bought the Atticus compilation disk which I haven't listened to too much and my new favorite CD "New Sacred Cow" by Kenna. I completely enjoy it. It just has a good different sound to it, so I've been listening to it almost constantly while I've been at home. So I suggest to everyone that they should purchase it. Although I'm sure some people won't enjoy it because it isn't really that main stream I suppose. So anyways, after that we headed to visit Nicole at work till 7:40 when I called Ashley to find out she was off work. So I said I would just go down and meet her at my car. Well I got there and found she wasn't there. I went inside to find her but didn't. So I went back outside and waited in my car till 8:30 when I just headed home because I didn't want to wait anymore. I didn't know if they were in the mall or had gone to eat somewhere since Ashley said she was hungry. So I ended up going home to find that Ashley called. I called her back and talked to her for a short time then sat around all night. Oh, also to note, it's amazing how fast you can really drive if you're in the mood to do so. I think I made it home in 15 minutes instead of the usual 20-25 minutes last night. I was impressed. But anyways, the wast the day. Not bad, could have been better. So today was back to work which I wasn't pleased with. I have a weird feeling inside. Not a good one. Like I don't want to go back to school and I don't want people to leave, and that I'm going to be alone here with no friends. Yes, it's sad, but life goes on. I'll deal accordingly. Which means I'll go to school, come home and do homework then sit online and hopefully talk to someone. God I suck...later.
8/20/03
So the week hasn't been too bad. What to say. I'll just hit a few different things I suppose. Ummm, I can't think of stuff for Monday. So I'll just move on to Tuesday I guess. Well I've got to sleep in the past few days. Which I pretty much haven't done all summer due to work and other things. I don't know if this a good thing though because school starts in a week and I'll have to get up early so I want to stay used to that. I'm sure I'll be fine though. But anyways, Tuesday I was woken up to go and change the oil in my car. Not something that I enjoy being woken up for. So I got up and ate breakfast quick then did that. Sort of a messy job, but it didn't take too long. Then I pretty much sat around all day. I did watch The Count of Monte Cristo which wasn't too bad. It's the new one that they made in 2002 I believe. I guess it was enjoyable for the most part. Today I pretty much did the same thing. I've been sitting around mostly. I did a lot of dl the past two days. I was working a bunch of songs by The Used. Oh and if anyone is interested, their song called "On My Own" is really good. It's sort of a sad song, but I really like it's sound. So people should dl it. Then I decided to start dl all of Kenna's songs. I'm pretty pleased with the songs I've dl so far. So I recommend them to. They have a different sound but it's a good different. I mowed this morning too. I got a sunburn for my troubles. I guess that's what I get for working in a building all summer long. I do that then when summer is about over I get a sunburn because I have time to go outside during the day. Oh well. I'm dealing with it. It's not that bad. Short practice tonight too, so I made it home around 8 tonight instead of the usual 9. I watched Paradise Hotel too which was very enjoyable. The people on there are just such assholes and it's funny. So that's why I enjoy it. Tomorrow is canoeing with Ashley, her roommate, her b/f I believe and Dusty. Ummm, Ashley said about tyring to bring someone else too, so I don't know if that will happen. I guess I'll have to see. Keith also said about eating lunch together tomorrow. So I jus have to find out about times I guess. Then I can get my plans straight. For now though I'm pleased with the day, or seem to be pleased with it. So hopefully that doesn't let me down somehow. I'll see...night
8/18/03
It was a really great night to make up for a not so good one the night before. I had an awesome time last night. I left my house around 7:45 and headed to Ashley's house. I arrived a little after 8:15. So in a short while we were off to Tylersburg to go to her friends house for a birthday party. I didn't really know anyone there other than the kid's dad who knows my mom from the University. He works there and my mom had introduced me before so that was sort of weird to end up going to his house when I didn't even know that was his son. So I guess that was pretty cool. I'm not sure how long we were there, maybe 2 hours. We mostly sat around the fire as I listened to everyone else talk. When we did leave Ashley made me drive from the passangers side. It was interesting but I think I did a pretty good job. When we got back there we decided to just go lay on the trampoline and hang out. It eventually got cold so we wrapped up in a blanket and talked and had a good time, lots of laughs and interesting things. I just had a good time cuddling up trying to keep warm which worked for the most part other than my feet which were frozen. I still enjoyed myself though. It seemed like we were there for a long time but eventually I headed home at 3. I had the heat turned up the whole way to keep myself warm. When I did get home I attempted to turn off my high beams and realized that it wouldn't click over to my low beams. Now that's something else I need to get fixed. And yes, I got yelled at again for being out so late. My parents just don't understand that I just enjoy myself so I spend as much time there as possible. Anyways, now I have a curfew which sort of sux but it's alright. I just have to be home by 2 from now on. So I guess I can deal with that. Not too bad. It's like I'll be out that late again anyways since school is starting this upcoming Monday. So I'm not looking forward to that, but I guess I have to deal with it. Anyways, I'm feeling pretty good now. I feel like I've got it. I hope so...later
8/17/03
I have to say that most of Saturday night wasn't too much fun. Before I get to that though, I went to Keith's house around 8. When I got there I found two girls there, the one that Keith has been talking to on the net while he's been in Delaware and an Amanda from CL. So I had a pretty good time there just joking around with Keith and having fun. It was good to see him again. So I think around 9:45 those two left and Keith and I headed out to Tyler's house. It was cool just to drive and talk. So that was a pretty good part of the night. Then at Tyler's we got there before Tyler was even there. So I played some Warcraft while some people got wood and others just sat around. So Tyler got home and we went outside and pretty much just sat around most of the night. Eventually throughout the night it was Me, Keith, Tyler, Jimmy, Betsey, Nicole, Andy, Ben, Dusty, Ashley, and Abby. Why I didn't have a good time? Because I guess I was respecting everyone else and didn't want to ruin anyone else's night. Whether or not that was the right choice, I don't know, but I don't think it was. So most of the night I sat and watched the fire. It was pretty boring for me really. About the only fun part was jumping on the trampoline and wrestling with Ben, even though my glasses did get all bent up. I still enjoyed it. Other than that, nothing out of the ordinary really happened. So more sitting around occured until around 1:30 when I just headed home. Keith was going to come with me, but Abby asked him to stay. So I just headed home and got on the net for a short while. Today I just slept in. No one went to church so I pretty much sat around all day just thinking about stuff. I wathed Half Baked to lift my spirits which it did some. The rest of the time I just sat around playing games and watching tv. A boring day, but I guess I'm heading to some Birthday party with Ashley. I think I may feel out of place, but at least I'll be out of the house. Maybe, hopefully, it'll be more fun than last night. I don't know. I'll see...later
8/16/03
And to catch up due to power failures and late nights, I'll put in a quick tidbit of what's been going on. So a huge powere failure of a good portion of the U.S. occured Thursday afternoon, so that left me with no internet although I did have electric at my house. So the night was spent sitting around mostly. I called Ashely to figure out what plans were for Friday and we talked for a good hour or so. maybe more. So then I stayed up all night just doing nothing like always. Friday I attempted to connect to the internet to work on my health but not luck with that till later in the day. With that occuring I went to clean the church then instead of on Saturday like I usually do. So came back to get online and finish 2 more critiques. Cool enough, I found out that a third critique was already graded somehow even though I never turned a third one in. I was quite confused but I'm not complaining whatsoever. So then I ate and headed to meet Ashley at 7:30 Friday night. I bought some nectarines where she worked and I must say they were very good. I was pleased with them. So then once she was done we headed to the drive-in. I must say it was a really good time. American Wedding was a pretty funny movie so I was quite pleased with it. Althought the second movie Freddy vs. Jason was less than to be desired, but not less than to be expected. I realized that it would prolly be a bad movie and I was correct. But that was good because it left time to make fun of it which added to the pleasure of the night. We watched the first movie in the car and then proceeded outside to watch the second. The ground wasn't as comfortable as the car, but it was worth it I'd say. I was pleased to say the least. It was definitely and 'excellent' time. So we didn't feel like leaving after the last movie, but we eventually decided they prolly wouldn't enjoy us sleeping there, so we headed back to her house. We sat in the car for a long while talking and taking power naps. I enjoyed myself there as well. So it was an 'excellent' night. No joke at all. I really didn't feel like leaving, but I had to. I was disappointed but what can you do when you're parents wouldn't be pleased if you didn't come home?? Nothing, so I went home and listened to my classical music the whole way. I got home around 3:30 and collapesed into my bed upon entering my room. Man do I love late nights. So I woke up this mornign around 11:30 and took my next to last test. I ate lunch then took my final test. I didn't feel like doing my last critique because I already had an A even before I took the test. So it was a waste of time, but I felt I should do it anyway. And now here I am. I wonder what time Tyler's party is tonight?? Hmmm, I wonder who's even going. Oh well, something will come up...later
8/13/03
I guess today was an interesting day. I worked alone today because Nancy was out with her friends today. So I got a good deal of work done this morning. I got all of the intership people's worksite advisors onto the merge letter which took a good while since there were like 30 some of them. So that was good. I was going to type up the envelopes to send them out but Dr. Washington came in and was using the typewrite the whole time, so I didn't get that done. So instead I start working on more of Dr. Kennedy's stuff. She always seems to have things for us to do. So I got all of her class sign up sheets done. It wasn't too hard. I just had to type all the names into a table in Word. So then I got some homework done. I realized that book buy back is only Thursday and Friday, so I have to get the chapters done as quick as possible. I got one done today, so that only leaves two. Awesome. So I just worked through lunch today. So that means I can leave early some day this week which will probably end up being tomorrow. So I'll probably leave at 3 tomorrow I think. So I had my bolgna sandwichs and bought myself a Pepsi and got my chips from my car. So lunch wasn't too bad. So then I was planning on finishing up my health chapter then when Abby showed up. I'm not really sure what time that was. Maybe around 2-2:30. So I just spent the rest of the day talking to her. After work we went to Wendy's where she ate and I just had a cup of water since I didn't want to eat before practice. It was pretty good to just sit and talk to her. I was very happy though. The whole time I wasn't attracted to her at all like I used to be. So I'm proud of myself that I'm finally, completely over her in a relationship type of way. So that leaves me quite relieved. So that's good news. So then we just went back to Becker parking lot and talked till I had to leave to go take my brother to his practice. My practice wasn't too bad. The kids are looking somewhat promising. So I guess I'm pleased about that. So I told the head coach that I won't be there on Friday because I'll be hanging out with Ashley if all goes right this time unlike yesterday. So I'm hoping at least. So other than that I have nothing to report...night
8/12/03
Today was an alright day. Not too great, but not too bad. Work was monotonous again as always. The good thing though, I finally finished that damn test bank thing that I have been typing up for the past two weeks. I was so bloody happy when I finished that bastard. It was 16 freaking chapters all done and scanned and formatted correctly. So I'm very glad I'm finished. All it does is kill my eyes. I should just keep the anwers and sell them to the highest bidder in that class. Then I could actually get a better pay for doing all that. So I worked by myself a lot today too. Nancy has a lot of personal things to take care of, so she was out doing that most of the day while I spent the time in the office. I decided to go buy myself a cup of cappucino on my lunch break and then go back to the parking lot and read my health. Only three chapters to go till this class is over. So I'm pleased about that. The bad thing is though that he wants them sooner this week since it's the last week. So I guess I'll be trying a little bit harder to get those done. Even though it will be Wednesday tomorrow and I haven't gotten any of it done yet. Oh well. None too worried here. So after I came back from my lunch break, I actually ate my lunch which was spaghettios. Wasn't too bad. So after work Ashley wanted me to come out to her house, so I did that and helped her fix this virus problem that she was having, the same one that I had last night and had to fix last night as well. So I received an email from her earlier in the day which was quite uplifting in a sense. I guess I was glad to get it since it helped me out a bit with things. Anyways, I was at her house for about 30 minutes when she got a call that she had to go into work, so that wasn't much fun. So since I was out there and didn't want to go home, I called up Tyler to see what he was up to. He just said I could come over there, so I spent the rest of the evening there. Same things, just playing video games. Also, I got a migrane while I was there, the first in like 3 months. So that wasn't too great. I thought I had those damn things taken care of. Hopefully that was the last one for a good while and they don't start coming back like they used to. So I left Tyler's around 10:15. And that's that. Nothing else to say other than I'm working by myself tomorrow since Nancy is going out with her friends. So I'm working during lunch too. I might stop out quick to pick up a cappucino. I'm not sure. Probably not. Oh well, I'll call it a day...night
8/11/03
So I had one of the worst weekends I've had for a good while. And I was on such a good streak too. I wonder what happened. But yeah, Friday was spent at soccer once I finished work. I pretty much got home when I had to leave to go get all the soccer balls and the water for practice since I had to take it over. I guess it wasn't too bad of a time, but I would have rather been somewhere else instead of there. I'm sure it would have been more fun hanging out with friends then telling little kids what to do at practice. But I got through it alright. They actually listened, which was surprising since little kids can be a pain in the ass a lot of the time. So practice was over at 7, but I had to wait around because kids forgot to tell their parents that it would be over early. So I didn't get home till 8, not that I had anything to do anyways. So what did I do?? I sat at home, in my computer chair and worked on my poem. That just put me into quite a sad mood, which wasn't good at all. So eventually 10 came around and I got online. Since I was working on my poem and wanted someones opinion, I asked Claire since she's into that kind of stuff. She was fairly pleased with the poem and gave me a few ideas. So I worked on it more while playing Warcraft too. Quite a combination. Finally I got it finished and posted it, both for Saturday and Sunday's posts. So quite a boring and not so fun evening. I'm not sure what time Ashley came online, but I talked to her for a good while about certain things which pretty much led me to see how much of a loser I really am. Although she helped me figure a few things out which is good. So I eventually went to bed. I woke up to take my health test, then clean my church. I came home in hopes that something would come up for the evening. The outlook was bad and it turned out to bad. Jeffers said he wanted to do something, but nothign came up, so I sat at home for the second night in a row. I attempted to work on my project, but I had no will to do so. Instead of worked more on my health which leads to no fun at all. I eventually ended up making myself popcorn and watching BLOW. Uneventful, yes. So I logged onto the net at 10 messing around. I went to bed at 12:30, the earliest I've went to bed on a Saturday night in a long, long time. Sunday morning was filled with church. Nothing major. After, I came home to take my second health test of weekend. I checked my ICQ and got a message from Ashley saying she wanted to hang out after work and to call her when she got off. The problem was, I didn't know what time that was. So I decided I'd call at 3, but before that happened Tyler called me up to ask if I wanted to help him move into his apartment. So I called Ashley to find out she wasn't there, so I left her a message and went to Tyler's since I didn't know when she was done. It wasn't really that great. There were a few pretty good times on the trip, but most of it was spent driving and either watching Tyler play his GameBoy or starting out the window. His apartment isn't too bad. It reminded me of Postelwaites apartment in Clarion. So when we got back to Tyler's house, 9 p.m., we called Ashley. She came over and we watched some George Carlin comedy thing then sat around the rest of the night. I guess it was fun, but I think that since I wasn't in the best mood most of the weekend, I didn't have that much fun. I don't know. Anyways, I found out that I have all next week off, 18th - 21st, minus Friday the 22nd. So I guess that will give me more time to sit around. I don't know how it will all turn out. Time will tell...later
8/10/03
I stood there waiting,
but you never came,
as the water dripped off,
from the pouring rain.
The tears they followed,
to the singing ground,
that filled my heart
with an empty sound.
And I cried out in anger,
don’t leave me alone.
I can’t bear the pain
of being on my own.
Why did you come to me,
if you knew you would leave.
These words echoed out
as I fell to my knees.
This place so familiar,
where I lose who I love.
And the sounds of misery,
that thunder above.
Pulling out the letter,
that you would never read.
Letting the ink run,
like you from me.
And there in my hands,
I tore it apart,
in much the same way,
you did with my heart.
That is it
8/09/03
I stood there waiting
but you never came
as the water dripped off
from the pouring rain
The tears they followed
to the singing ground
that filled my heart
with an empty sound
And I cried out in anger
don’t leave me alone
I can’t bear the pain
of being on my own
Why did you come to me
if you knew you would leave
These words echoed out
as I fell to my knees
This place so familiar
where I lose who I love
and the sounds of misery
that thunder above
to be continued...
pulling out the letter
that you would never read
letting the ink run
like you from me
and there in my hands
I tore it apart
in much the same way
you did with my heart
to be continued...
8/08/03
Yesterday wasn't too bad of a day for the most part I guess. Work was sort of bad in a way, but I'll get to that. The morning was spent formating more of the test bank I've been working on, and sorting out folders for prospective professors in the future and getting stuff ready to send out to them. That took up all of the morning, so it wasn't bad. When Nancy went to lunch, I had my lunch while reading the rest of my health chapter. So I finally got that done. Then I made the mistake of the day. All the professors letters that were to be sent out to them telling them about how they are being examing for the open position in the depart, were sent out by me. I thought they were all done so I mailed them. When Nancy got back she asked if I did and I said yes, and then realized I wasn't supposed to send them out. First off becuase they weren't signed yet. So I screwed up big time, so I ended up having to track down the letters and making sure receiving didn't send them out when they got there. So they called me back when they got there and I got them. When I did get them back I also realized that some of the letter was wrong, so it wold have been even worse if they would have gone out. And I was supposed to make copies of all the letters to for their files, so it just wasn't good, so I was having a rough time. But I got it all worked out and sent them out right the second time. So at least I finally got them done. I also worked through lunch so I could leave at 3 to go to Ashley's. So I left and went there. And what we did all night was just stay at her house. She said about going to the movies at the mall, but we didn't do that. I brought Bram Stoker's Dracula along which is my favorite and we sort of watched that. We pretty much talked through it most of the time, and the dog kept us from watching the movie the rest of the time, so she didn't get to see the true brilliance behind the movie. Oh well, maybe she can watch it some other time to see it all. Ummm, anyways, that was later in the night. Earlier we watched her cheerleading tape which was interesting to say the least. And then she made me waffles. How cool is that?? And big belgian waffles at that. They were pretty good, so I was pleased with that. I just love waffles. Ummm, after the movie was over, we played some game called sequence with her little brother Mike. It wasn't too bad. Ashley won in the end, so go her. And then we just layed around watching tv after that. So it was just a relaxing night pretty much. We didn't do too much, but I enjoyed myself. Leaving for some reason was weird though, and I'm not sure why. I just felt really weird, like some sort of weird vibe, which I didn't like at all. I'm not exactly sure how it was, but it wasn't good from what I could tell. I don't know. I'm probably being stupid. Actually, I'm sure I am, but I guess that's just me. Anyways, I got home around 12 and just went to bed to catch up a little sleep since I didn't get that much sleep this week. Now I'm at work, just doing some thinking. I've been jotting stuff done for the poem I'm working on, but it still doesnt' seem to be going much of anywhere. I must have lost my touch. Boy that isn't good whatsoever. Maybe I'll find it again, like tonight. I think I probably will be in the writing mood tonight, so I'll do that and maybe post it tonight. And that's that...night
8/06/03
I doubt I will write a journal tomorrow night since I'll be with Ashely and won't get home till later, so I'll try to make this a good one. I don't think I can make it that good though because nothing of real importance happened to me. I was pretty much tired all day and I hate like a headache sort of just behind my left eye almost all day. I eventually took my extra strength ibuprofen around 2 I believe. It worked. But I typed almost all day today and it showed becuase my eyes were so bloodshot and they looked so horrible. They didn't even look pretty anymore...haha. So that wasn't much fun, and it didn't help to keep me awake much either. I did it though. I finally got all the questions typed up for the one book so at least something got done today. Now all I have to do is format the rest of these tests which will take a long time. It took me like 3 hours just to get 2 done. First off because it took me so long to do it, and also because I had to do extra work inbetween. But it was oh k. I at least wasn't bored during the day. I just went through McDonalds drive through today and came back and read my health book. So that wasn't much fun. Soccer wasn't too bad tonight minus the mosquitos that decided to eat me alive. My legs look so horrible because they're pretty much covered red marks from the damn moscquitos. I hate them so much. They have no purpose in my book. We should kill them off and make me happy. It's a good plan. Yeah, I got clocked in the chest with the ball tonight when G.R. attempted to show the kids how not to pass the ball. He kicked it as hard as he could and I stopped it with my chest. It wasn't a smart thing to do because I had this ball mark on my chest. It was really attractive. Anyways, I don't know if I'm coaching alone on Friday or not. I don't know if coach Conover will be there or not. If not then looks like I'm on my own. I think I can handle an hour and a half though. I'll see. But tomorrow I'm getting off work at 3 hopefully and spending the rest of the day with Ashley, doing what I don't know. I'll have to figure that out sometime later. Ummm, I don't know what else. I'm empty of any usefull or interesting info...night
8/05/03
Today was better than yesterday, so that's good. Well it was for the most part. Work was a little crappy today. You know what's funny about work. I get told to do work, so I go and do it. When I come back from doing my work, I come back to find the secretary playing games. Now I might be a little slow, but don't you think when I get told to go do something instead of sitting around that she wouldn't sit around?? Maybe I'm missing the point or something. I don't know. Oh well, anyways, my job was to scan pages from a test booklet and then convert them into word files using this program that we have there. So that took about 3 hours. It was really boring and tiring, being that I was tired to begin with and wasn't on the top of my game at the moment either. I got it done though. The only bad thing is that now I have to go back through and format everything so it looks nice because the program obviously has flaws in it and it doesn't put what is scanned exactly how it would be from the book. I'm not complaining though because I think that would be a pretty tough program to write. Anyways, I came back upstairs and Nancy went to lunch. I made my spaghettio's and then worked on fixing up some of the test questions and also on my second critique for this health chapter. One o'clock came around and I headed to the computer lab to take my test then since I had already ate my lunch. So it was pretty easy. Then after I went to my car to attempt to work on my poem that I've been working on. I got nowhere and didn't even get a single word written. I guess I was just thinking too much about other stuff, so nothing was done there. After I came back inside and worked on other questions that I have been typing up. I'm almost done with them. And that was about it I guess. Then home to wait till time to go to soccer. It was a little better tonight. I got more involved I guess, so it's not too bad. I had fun actually I guess. So I was sort of pleased with that. I'm still not liking that this is going to take up all my time. It really sux because I would enjoy to be able to hang out with Ashley as often as possible since she's going back to college soon enough. Hopefully I can do it as often as I can though because that'd be really nice. Anyways, I guess I'm supposed to be running practice on Friday pretty much by myself, so that will be interesting at least. I'm not looking forward to it too much. I'll have to deal though I guess. But that's about it. Nothing else to mention...night
8/04/03
I'm not exactly sure how today was. I guess it wasn't too bad for the most part. I went to work this morning and found a good deal of work to do when I got there. I had to make files and find stuff that I had filed before because Nancy couldn't. I had to type up more stuff, scan things into the computer to convert it into a word document, and finally I had to help carry boxes to one of the professors cars. So the day was pretty full of stuff do to. During lunch I ate at Subway by myself then headed to the eye doctor to pick up some more monthly cleaning packs since I'll be out pretty soon. Then I was going to go back and read some of my health book, but when I got back, I realized I didn't know what chapter I was currently on, so instead, I sat in my car listening to classical music. It wasn't too bad, but it was hot as hell inside my car. Oh well, sometime during the afternoon, I decided to go back and read over some of my journal entries and DAMN, my life just has sucked for the past year. I mean, some of the stuff I wrote in there was just so sad and depressing. It's weird I guess, so it sort of makes me glad that I write these to look back. It's a good way to keep track of my life I guess, but from what I write, I really have no life. I guess I'm just pretty pathetic. Oh well, so I made it home and read my health, or what I could before I headed to the jr. high soccer practice. I think I may have gotten myself into something that I might not really want to do. G.R. wants me to be there everyday, and I feel like I don't want to because I want to have a social life. I know, I know, I don't have a social life right now, but damn it, what if all of a sudden I happen to have a chance at one and due to this I can't. That would just suck. But anyways, like I said, he wants me to be there everyday, but I may end up just saying I'll only be there when I can because I do want to just hang out. He says they practice Friday's too, and that's just not cool. I need my Fridays. I enjoy my Fridays, and he can't steal them away, haha. I guess I'll see how it works out. I guess I just don't feel like I'm good at coaching little kids. So I sort of feel out of place. But I guess it may take some getting used to. I'll have to see. But I guess it was alright tonight. I really didn't do anything. So it was kind of boring. Anyways, I picked my brother up from varsity practice after I was done there and came home. Showered up then read the rest of my health. I got online and did one of my two critiques for the chapter and that's that. Day full of stuff, but I'm not sure if I want them, at least not these ones. I'll figure it out...night
8/03/03
To recount on last night. I ended up cleaning my church which really didn't take too long. Then I made my way out to Tyler's house where I only stayed for like 20 minutes till we left to go to the bowling alley. It wasn't too bad of a time there. It was me, Tyler, Andy, Dusty, Nicole, and Dawn, I guess Tyler used to hang out with her. I sucked pretty bad. I didn't even break 100, but it was alright. I wasn't there to play good. I just wanted to get out of my house and hang out with people. So it was a much better time than I could have had at my house, sitting in front of my computer. So I think it was around 10:30 when I left the bowling alley. Maybe a little earlier. So I just came home and played a quick game of warcraft then talked to Keith, Nicole, and Ashley. So today, I went to church in the moring. It was a pretty interesting sermon, so I was listening pretty intently the whole time. I enjoyed it at least. Then I came home and ate and took my test for health. I missed 3, but I think that some of them were right, because it was word for word from the book, but the answer said different. I'm a little skeptical about it. Oh well, it's not that bad. I can miss like 250 pts and still get an A, and I've only missed around 12 I think. So I have a lot of points left to in my bag to spare. Anyways, I sat around for a good while till Tyler called me up around 6 to ask if I wanted to go to the movies. So I agreed and went up to Clarion. I stopped at Walmart quick to pick up a card for Ashley since it's her birthday tomorrow. They had pretty crappy cards, so it wasn't that good, but I included other stuff with it. So hopefully she doesn't think it's too crappy. If she does oh well. I'll live. Ummm, so then I went to the mall and got my ticket. I talked to Ashley for awhile while waiting for Tyler to show up. So then he came and Nate was along with him. We watched Tomb Raider: Crater of Life, I think that's what it was called. It was an average movie. I wasn't too impressed with it for anything really original. Just another action flick mostly. So then after we stood around talking to Ashley. Tyler and Nate left, so I went to my car to get her card, gave it to her then headed home. And now I'm hear. Pretty regular day, but not a boring night. So that was good. --ADDED(if anyone even read it yet)-- I forgot to put that G.R. called me and asked me about helping coach the jr. high soccer team. I'm not sure if I want to do it. I actually don't think I will. I will help out some, but I don't want to be there every night doing that. I guess I'll see. He wants to talk to me tomorrow, so that's where I'm going after work. And that's all he wrote...night
8/02/03
I had a really great day yesterday. It was surprisingly good I guess. So I was pleased with it. But to start off, I had to go to work early on Friday, first because I was the only one working in the office, and two because I had to pick up the student checks before I went to work as well. So I actually did a good deal of work yesterday. I was surprised by that because I usually do nothing when I'm the only one working. Dr. Kennedy pretty much kept me busy all day long. I had to type pretty much the whole time I was there. I had to type up a table of court cases that she needed for her one class, and I'm working on typing up questions from one book. There's like 150 questions that I have to get done which isn't that bad, but it just takes a good deal of time. But at least it kept me busy for the most part. I did't take too long of a lunch break because I didn't know if it was going to rain, so I didn't feel like walking back in it if it were to start. So I took maybe a 30 minute break. So once 3:30 rolled around I pretty much just stopped working and messed around on my computer which I decided to bring with me then. I just listened to music on it which was better than the radio that we have in there. So I left work at 4:30 and headed to the mall to meet up with Ashley. I sat around for a short while, maybe 10 minutes, till she was finished with work. She had to change being that she was still in her work clothes so she did that in her car. Then we stood around decided what to do so I picked Long John Silvers as the place to eat. It wasn't too bad of a meal there, other than the hushpuppies. So after we finished we sat there and talked trying to find something to do. Eventually we decided to go see Tyler at work. I'm not sure how long we spent at K-Mart, but Tyler eventually told us to go to the maze in Cook's <---- Forest, with an s. But before I had to get gas, so Ashley headed home while I did that then met up with her back at her house and headed out. We weren't really sure where it was at, but we found it after awhile. It was a really good time there. It was interesting going through it being that it was pitch dark and you can't see anything anywhere. We were in there for a good while when the lady who took our money came in and found me and said that someone had hit my car, so I was pretty worried. So she lead us out, but when I got there, I saw that where they had hit me was the same place where my car was already hit before. So I was relieved when I saw that. So since she took us out she let us start over for free, so that was pretty good. So after we made it out for the second time we went on our way till we came to the mini golf place which was lit up so we decided to stop and play. That was a pretty good time too, but in the end I won. I think we just stopped trying after awhile actually, but it was still fun nevertheless. So then we headed back to her house and decided to just stay there instead of heading over to Tyler's. I'm not sure what time it was when I got there, maybe around 11:00. Anyways, we just sat on the porch the whole time just talking which was really great. I haven't just sat down and talked to anyone for a long time, so I was happy that that happened. So if it was 11 that we got back, then we talked for 4 hours. We sat on the porch and wrapped up in blankets to keep warm till I got pretty tired and 3 a.m. rolled around. So it was a pretty late night. Hopefully I didn't keep her up to late since she had work in the morning. Then I'd feel bad. Anyways, I got home and headed to bed when my mom got up and yelled at me for being so late. The same thing in the morning when I woke up, so I wasn't too pleased about that. It's not like I'm some little kid. Oh well, I'm not going to worry about it. I had a excellent time, so I don't care if I got yelled at for it. It was worth it. Anyways, I think I'm supposed to go bowling tonight, but I have no clue what's really going on. I'll have to see. For now though, I'm going to head out...later
