Dark Angel Quotes (some are, some aren't)
I got these off this girl called Jensens Sugah and others that are so funny! Thier about 'The DA Scenes You'll Never See'. Enjoy!!!
More DA Scenes You Will Never See!!
-Heather
(Sketchy walks into a rehab clinic)
Sketchy- I'm a druggie who can't seem to stop getting turned down by chicks. Can I get help?
Man at counter- I'm sorry. Were a rehab clinic, not a miracle clinic.
Max- No Baths! No Baths!! Ack!!
(From far away)
Logan- Whats wrong with Max?
Alec- Her cat dna is finally kickin in.
Alec- I wanna get married. To Max!
Asha- What about me?
Alec- R u kidding? I'm a one woman man.
Lydecker- (at the bottom of the river) Hello? Anyone?
Gillgirl and her man swim by.
Lydecker- Hey, don't I know you??
White- I only beat up Max cus I have a secret crush on her.
Therapist- Uh huh...
White- And ya know, Logan doesn't treat her right. He has to be gentle with a person that beautiful, youknowhwatImsayin?
Therapist- (looks up confused) What?
White- Now I know why I'm so messed up.
Max- Zack! Catch!
Zack- *grabs it* What is this?
Max- Its a tampon silly!
Zack- Ack! It has a tail!
Max- No, thats not a tail.
Zack- Logan! Logan, come look at this!!
*Logan walks over*
Logan- Huh.
Zack- Look at this amazing animal.
*Logan cracks up laughing*
Logan- *to Max* Don't let him keep it.
Zack- *takes it by the tail and drags it* Lets go to the park, Pon.
*Max and Logan are rolling on the floor*
Zack-My first pet! I'm so proud of myself...
Zack- *in the park w/ Pon*- I'm gonna love you and squeeze you and call you George!
*it begins to rain. the tampon expands*
Zack- Wut r u doing?
*a few people look at him funny*
Zack- Pon! Don't die on me!!!! NOOOO!!
*the tampon, heavy with water, refuses to move*
Zack-*crying* Waaaaa!!
Alec- I think I'll become a priest.
Zack- Poor Pon...
Alec- Hey buddy, Max and I went to the er, 'pet store' and bought you a new pet.
*holds out a thong*
Zack- Yahhh!!!
Max- I think he likes it.
Alec-....alittle too much.
Sketchy- I think I wanna be sober.
O.C.- Good for you.
Herbal- Sober be the cosmic gain thy hast been seekin past decades then in two loves come say?
O.C.-What you say foo?
Sketchy- No, I think he makes much more sense when I'm drunk. *drinks more*Say something.
Herbal- Ya'll good?
Sketchy- Yeah, see that I understood!
Alec- *runs out like Tom Cruise in Risky Business* I am tighty whitey man!
*Logan joins him*
Logan- And I am his trusty sidekick, Racer!
*Zack runs out*
Zack- And I am his female companion, Pon!!
Alec and Logan- Zack, just let it go...
Alec- So Racer, Pon, how can we save the day today?
*Logan scratches himself, his underwear being worn outside his green spandex pants*
Logan- Gee Tighty Whitey man, I don't know!!
*Zack blinks*
Zack- I heard the ladies room at Sears was out of Maxi's?
Alec- To the latrines!!
Logan- To go where no man has ever so boldly gone before!
Zack- Oh, actually, I've been there before.
Alec-.....you have?
Logan- Tell us what it was like, Pon?
Zack- It was like nothing I've ever seen before.
Alec- I heard the bowls were of the purest gold!!!
Logan- Well, what are we waiting for?! Women at Sears are bleeding through their panties! And for what?! Our mindless, boy-hood chatter!
Alec- Your exactly Racer! Lets go!!
Alec- Well, Racer, Pon...we have made it.
Logan- Pon, release the power of the Pad outward to the empty Tampon case!
*Zack takes out his wand of old Tampon sticks and thrusts it to the empty case. It fills up*
Alec- Good work, Pon.
*They look around*
Logan- This must be a mistake! I thought the toilets were supposed to be gold!
Alec- And the water flowing honey!
Zack- And the girls look like women!
*Logan and Alec look at him confused*
Alec- Don't they here?
*They all look up and see a bunch of cross-dressers*
Alec- You dum-dum! This isn't Sears! This is Queers!
Logan- My co-cordinates must have mis-calculated wrong. It will not happen again.
Alec-Darn right it won't! I now dub thee- Pantyliner!!
Logan- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*they leave disapointedly, Logan crying*
Lydecker- Max, I modeled you after my dead wife.
Max-Oh ya? Can she do this? *sticks her leg behind her head*
Lydecker- Umm, no...
Max- Can she do this? *touches her chin with her tongue*
Lydecker- Well, uh, no. Max, what does this have to do with my wife being modeled after you though?
Logan- It doesn't. The Ritalin is wearing down. Shes on a sugar high now.
Max- *hands held up to her face* You can't find me, you can't find me....
Lydecker- Who has Ritalin?
Logan- Erm, no one.
Logan- I think I'll buy Max from Manticore. Then she'll belong to MEEEEEEEE!
*starts cackling madly*
Alec-*outside Wendys* Eat a booger!!!*yelling at customer walking in*
*Max walks over with Original Cindy*
Max- What are you doing?
Alec- I'm trying out to be the new Bob Thomas. Duh.
Original Cindy- Thats impossible, dude. You would have to actually be Bob Thomas to be Bob Thomas and you are no Bob Thomas.
Alec- Sure I can. All I had to do was change my name and since the real Bob Thomas is gone, I took his name.
Max- ...you have got to be kidding me....
Alec- I am now, Bob Thomas.*sees another customer* Eat a booger!!
Original Cindy- Dude, thats 'burger'.
Alec- Wha-?
Max- Your saying booger. Its burger.
Alec- Oh, I know. Sayin booger gets their attention.
Original Cindy- Hol' up...theres been no Bob Thomas for at least 20 years. There is no more Wendy's resturaunts.
Max- So, where are we?
*They all look up at the sign*
Alec- 'Normals'?
Unfourunatly, I found out a bit later that his name was DAVE Thomas. So, to those who were confused, I hope that helps. Long Live Wendys!!!
Max: Lasagna! More lasagna!
Logan: Um, okay.
Max: I love this lasagna!
Logan: Max, what's the deal? Settle down.
Max: Well, you know I have cat DNA. What I didn't tell yu is that it's Garfeild's.
*presented by SK*
Max: Why exactly do you want to kill Eyes Only?
Zack: Well because the leprechaun said to DUH! And he threatened me with that laser eye thingy.
Max: The leprechaun?
Zack: Are you saying there's a metal plate in my head? Because I already knew that and I don't appreciate you making fun of me!
Max: I suppose the leprechaun doesn't like it either.
Zack: Yeah. You better watch out or he will torture you!
*also by SK*
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