Justin- This is so cool! I can go back to the early 90’s and get some authentic Jherri Curl!

Lance- Even better, we can stop Nick Carter from being born!

JC- And how would we do that?!

Lance- Well, a knife and a skeleton key and-

JC- That’s enough! I don’t want to know where this is going!

Lance- OK, fine. How about we just stop the invention of Viagra? Then Nick wouldn’t have been born!

The guys look around the room silently for awhile.

Joey- Are you trying to ruin my life?!

JC- Yea, *Cough* besides, Viagra wasn’t around then! I think.........

Lance- How would you know...........

JC- I do crack, not pills to, ummmm, do stuff.

Chris- Hey JC, does your foot taste good?

JC- What?!

Chris- You know, you’re foot. You’ve got your foot in your mouth. Hahahahahahahahaha.......... ummm, forget it man. Let’s get this show on the road!

The guys pile into the time machine. It resembles an old refrigerator box with an umbrella hot glued to the top. There is a small door cut out that they have to crawl through. Once inside they all take seats on the lavish old shoe cartons.

JC- Where to?

Justin- The stars!

Lance- Wrong story dumbass.

Justin- The good old days then,

Joey- Oh God, here we go.....

Justin- I was on the MMC. I met my love, Bitchney- errrrr, Britney there. They were the best years of my life. Wearing mouse ears, signing bad theme songs invented by middle aged gold diggers. Performing silly skits with my good friend JC (Goes to put arm around JC and is smacked by him) Ah, what I would give to revisit it all.

Joey- K.......F......C

Lance- Ummmmm, I don’t know. Pennsylvania?

Everyone looks shocked

JC- He didn’t say Mississippi!

Lance- Ooops......

Chris- Why the hell would anyone want to go to Pennsylvania?

Lance- I just like the way it rolls off my tongue.

Chris- Try explaining that to the psycho northerners......

JC- Lets go to Egypt!

They all agree and JC presses the soda bottle lid button that has the sign of the Aton on it. Come to think of it, it looks more like a Little Debbies snack cake picture. Oh well! The “machine” starts to rumble and the umbrella is blown off the top.

Joey- It’s working!!!

(Cut to outside)
Three kids are kicking it as hard as they can. On of them is snapping the umbrella on his knee.

Justin- I think it’s over.

Lance- Yea.

They exit and find themselves in the middle of Thutmose’s tomb.

Joey- Hey look, a dead guy! I wonder if they’re any cute chicks in here.

Chris- Alive or dead?

Joey- Doesn’t matter.

Chris- Dude, you have really bad problems.

Joey- Yea, well at least I’m not short!

Chris- I’m not short! I’m vertically challenged! Well, at least I’m not fat!

Joey- Pleasantly plump for your information!

Chris- What a dumbass!

Joey- I’ll have you know I represent that remark!

Lance- Resent?

Joey- Whatever (does the hand motion)

JC- Ghetto wanna be valley girl.

Joey- I like valley girls!

JC- You like everything with boobs.

Joey- Yea, I guess I do.

Just then an awful noise is heard. They shield their eyes from a blinding light. The sarcophagus opens and out steps the pharaoh.

Pharaoh- I am the un-dead, ruler of ancient Egypt!

Justin- I am Justin, sex symbol to 12 year olds!

Pharaoh- Huh? Do you do any tricks? If so, maybe I will have mercy on your pathetic souls!

JC- We sing, right?

The guys start dancing and singing Tearin’ Up My Heart. The pharaoh appears unimpressed.

Pharaoh- That is so 90’s.

Lance- I’d like to see you do better!

Pharaoh- Who dares speak to me?! Where are you from mortal?

Lance- Mississippi.

Pharaoh- Oh Re no! Oh gods no!! HELP!!!!!

The pharaoh explodes into tiny dust particles. The dust particles burst into flames. Nelson from the Simpsons stomps all over it.

Nelson- Ha ha. NOT *NSYNC!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!

JC- I think we should go home.

Lance- Yea.

The guys get back into the “machine” (Or what’s left of it.) It doesn’t work the first time so they have to investigate. They realize that it has to be in the direction of the words that say “this end up”. So they then proceed to transport themselves back to Florida.

Justin- That was scary!

JC- Yea.

Lance- Let’s not do that again!

Chris- Pennsylvania, even Camden, New Jersey holds nothing up against that place. That was way more frightening than they could ever be!

Joey- What does “frageeley” mean?

JC- Fragile?

Joey- Yea, that!

Chris- hey, anyone notice anything weird?

Lance- Oh my God! Han.....han.....han..... HANSON?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! These people are worshipping Hanson as gods?!

JC- Oh shit, what did we do?!

Chris- We have to go back and fix this!

JC- To the box, ummmm, time machine!

They run to the “machine” and discover that it is completely ruined.

Lance- What happened?!

Joey- So that’s what “frageeley” means!

A person wearing a toga and gogo boots walks up behind them.

Person- You know what time it is! 12:00, time for hard labor!

*NSYNC- WHAT?!

Person- You know! When you hand feed the Emperors and Gods, (Looks dreamy) the Hansons!

*NSYNC- Oh shit.........................