Here are some Forwards that have been sent to me,There was no noted author, so therefor they are annonymous. IF you are the Author of these Please email me and you will get FULL credit. OK? now that that's over enjoy:
Twas da night befo' Christmas yo, and all in da hood,
not a hommie was stirrin' cuz it was all good.
Da tube socks was hung on da window sill,
and we all had smiles up on our grill.
Joey and Lance was snug in da crib,
in da back bedroom, cuz dat's how we live.
My hunnie in her do-rag and me wit my nine,
had just gotten busy cuz dis hunnie be fine.
All of a sudden a lowrida ro'd by,
Bumpin' phat beats yo cuz da system be fly.
I bounced tooz da window at a quarta pas'
'bout ready to bust a cap on somebodies ass!
I yelled to me hunnie, "Yo bitch, peep dis'!"
She said, "Stop frontin' and mind yo damn skippy bidness!"
So I said, "for real doe, come check dis' shiyet out."
We wasn't even buggin', no worries, no doubt.
Cuz bumpin' and thumpin' from 'round da way
Was ma hommie g Santa, 8 reindeer, and a funkadelic fly sleigh.
Da beats was kickin', da ride was phat,
I said, "Yo red dawg, you is all dat!"
He threw up a sign and hollad to his boyz,
"Ay, yo, give it up, let's make some noise!"
To da top of da projects and across doe strip mall,
"We gots go go, you know, I got a booty call!"
He puled up his ride to da top of da roof,
and sippin' on a 40 he busted a move.
I hollad to da hommie, "Jo ain't got no snack!"
He said, "Damn hommie, deeze projects is wack!
But, don't worry cuh, cuz I gotz da skillz,
I learned back when I hadda pay billz."
Out from his bag he pulled tree small tings,
a credit card, a knife, and pin.
He slid down da fire 'scape smoove like a cat,
and busted da winda wida baseball bat.
I said, "Wassup witdat Santa? Whydya bust up my place?"
he said, "you best be gettin' up outta my face!"
His threads was all leatha', his chains was all gold,
his sneaks was Puma and they was 5 yeeze old.
He dropped down da duffle, Clippas logo on da side.
Santa broke out da loot an' my mouf popped opened wide.
Wit a wink of his eye and a shine of his gold toof,
He cabbage patched back up onto da roof.
He jumped in his hooptie wit rims made of chrome,
To tap dat booty waitin' at home
And all I be hearin' as he cruised outa site,
was a loud homie g holla,
"WEST SIIIIIIIDE!!!!!!"
I may run and hid
when I see their face (alright)
But let me tell ya now
they need to go away (alright)
Chorus
All you people cant you,cant you see
how their face is scaring the crap out of me
every time they sing I just wanna leave
cause nsync is better than them
looking at the crowd
and I and I see everybody scream (c'mon)
wishing I could some sense into them (c'mon)
Chorus:repeat
all of their songs sang is killing me more
Chorus:repeat
Yeah,everytime they sing I just wanna leave
Yeah,cuz' nsync is better than them
Here's a little rhyme we gotta bust
About da 5 bad brothers for whom you lust
We made up da group in F-L-A
With Lansten, Christo, and Triple J.
Justin:
My name is Justin Timberlake and I'm a hottie
All the girlies love me 'cause I gots a body
I give a little shimmy, I give a little thrust
Girls wanna hit it with me, I'm the object of their lust.
I'm 6'3", and even though Nick is taller
He's got ten chins, and I'm a badass baller
My hair's a bit curly, so what if that's true
A brother's gotta keep it real, what more can I do?
Even though my hair is big, I still keep it crunk
All the girlies say they wanna see my junk.
I've got the hook-up, I'm banging Britney Spears
I tell Chris I like him just so he will buy me beer.
Chris:
Wait a minute J, are you tellin' a lie?
Or do ya wanna be a bitch and make a brotha cry?
Man, all those times you said I was funny--
Justin:
Shut yo' mouth, Chris, you've still got your money.
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful, that ain't right
But hate me 'cause you can ride this shit all night.
The name's JRT, bitch, you better recognize
I got the best lookin' ass of all these guys.
JC:
Yo get off the mic, J, it's time to get real
My timbs, and my baggy jeans, y'all wanna feel
I'm a sexy mofo, and I know for a fact
No one can mess wit' me because I'm on crack.
I cruise all day, and I score all night
Just 'cause I'm Christian don't mean I ain't tight.
Even though I'm skinny, I'm still 100% man
I steal all the solos whenever I can.
You may think it's whack I play jazz all day
But take a look at Lansten, that boy looks gay!
Lance:
Damn JC, don't act like a prick.
It ain't my fault I used to look like a chick.
Now I'm MONEY, and I'm gettin' ASS.
Say my name bitch, I'm Lance BASS.
I might not be Clark Gable, I aint James Bond
But now that Justin's roots grew in, I'm the token blond!
Justin:
Yo Lansten, wuz up wit dat, you dissin the curl?
Don't be so cocky, you still look like a girl.
Joey:
My name's Joey, and I'm not skeezy
I'm not fat, I'm not stupid, and I'm not easy.
I've never had sex, or any such thing--
Justin:
Get out of here, bitch, who said you could sing?
Chris:
My name's Chris, and man, I'm funn
y!
All the girls want me just because I have money!
I play football, and I can really tell a joke.
Justin likes to club with me, and snort lines of coke.
I've got a dog Busta, he crapped in Justin's bunk
I guess J didn't think that was very crunk.
Ha ha, get it? I crack myself up!
And everybody loves me now because of my pup.
I use my dog for attention, I'll admit that it's true
But now that I cut my hair, y'all love that too!
Heather:
Hold up, y'all, give a sista a damn break,
Hand over the mic so I can set the record straight.
This just ain't workin, take it from a girl.
All this wannabe rappin's gonna make me hurl.
JC:
Hold up woman, you sound straight bitter.
What's with the acrylics and the body glitter?
Who do you think you are, wearing all that pleather?
Heather:
Listen good, bitch, they call me Heather.
Y'all ain't crunk, and you don't have thug appeal,
And no, I don't like it when JC keeps it real.
Justin, who you kidding, in that baby blue,
the guys at my school are better ballers than you.
You're a bunch of white boys, and you sing POP.
You can't rap for nothing, and it's time you STOP.
Justin:
What you sayin', girl, you callin me a failure?
Heather:
Baby, shut your mouth and let's head back to my trailer.
