Ok now this time I hope someone keeps me accountable to sticking with the site here. Once again it has been a rather long time. About a month ago I was laid off at Empire because of the staff cuts and my relatively low seniority...and the fact that some of the people in high places didn't like me because I insisted they at least pretend to have a little respect for my coworkers. I was kind of upset about it, but the Lord knew what he was doing. That happened the day before my planned trip to Florida to see Rachael. Lacking a job to return to, I am now living on her mother's couch searching for a job for the rest of the summer until I return to PA to finish my schooling at SU. It is hard to find a job here, but I made enough to qualify for unemployment so that will help a bit. Also, Rachael's Aunt Melissa and Uncle Bob are trying to get me a job at Coastal Behavioral so I could possibly be working within the same field I am studying. The only problem is the guy who has to hire me is extremely difficult to reach. So please pray for my job. Other than that I am having a pretty good time down here.
It's been a while. Do you remember me?
Better yet, do you remember last time I was here when I mentioned that feeling when you are talking to someone far away and they still feel like they are really close? Well this most incredible thing happened in the several months that I took a break from this site. Short version: At the hand of the Lord, we who have been friends for four years are now preparing for marriage. It is going to be a few years til it actually happens, but the Lord has made it clear that it will happen between she and I. I believe I shall never forget the night at Intervarsity Fall Conference 2003 in Refreshing Mountain Camp when the Lord showed me the way. I felt so much joy I started to think I should leave the gym we were in for fear of expanding so far as to blow the walls out. Now if you will excuse me, I think I may have to update the answers to some of the questions about me. ;-)
On a side note, I am considering starting to create my own rpg in the game room. I am still working on coming up with ideas for it. there are a couple I have bouncing around in my head, but I can't decide.
Hi Anita! There, you are here. :-p
It is kinda little right now, but I added a page to the gameroom with some favorite moments from my current role playing group. No one blows up potties like Scott, Tommy, and David!
Did you ever have an experience where you were talking, in my case over IM, to someone who was extremely far away yet their presence was strong enough in the conversation that it actually felt like they were right next to you? I love that feeling.
I swear I am going to get back into this. :-p This has been an interesting time, but I am finally starting to get used to the major changes lately. Perhaps I will even thrive in them. This last week I learned that seperation (in this case 1200 miles of it!) can actually make me feel closer to someone. I don't know if she sees it quite the same way, but at the least she doesn't appear to feel any more distant. Sure, Rachael and I can't sit in dunkin' donuts at midnight drinking coffee, holding intelligent conversation, and turning her face starfruit red. But at this distance it is a lot easier to see past her attractive exterior into what really drives her. I always try to look there anyway, but now it is all I can see and I cannot complain a bit.
Still don't know if I will be able to return to SU this semester. If I cannot then I will still be back in the spring. I am prepared to accept that possibility with the understanding that the Lord has work for me to do in my own home area.
Found it. ;-)
Phew! I fianlly have a connection back. Sorry about the long absence. It could not be helped. On the brighter sidem while I did not have the internet to reach the people who support me the most I had to fight some of the hardest spiritual warfare that I have ever faced and I have become stronger for it. In fact, I would argue that I grew and matured more in the first two weeks of June this year than I had in nineteen and a half years before that. S lot hsd chsmged, and I am sure most of it will come out here...once I get used to this again. ;-)
Oh yeah, Rachael Marie Diffenderfer, you are here now. See, you are important enough. While I am at it I might as well holler out to Lindsay and Trish too. Both of them have sent me just the right emails at just the right time (by "chance") to help me fight some of the worse parts of my war.
Argh...now where on Earth did the bar that is supposed to seperate these entries go!?
This is a rather interesting article. Check it out. Note that while this article is about "The Doctrines of Grace" these are not the doctrines of grace as described to me by Trevor--this article is NOT about being saved by our works.
I just could not resist including this quote from a different article I read today: "...they largely died out through unbelief, ignorance and apostacy - the predominating characteristics of the institutional church for hundreds of years." That is sooooo true!
"Free! I'm free! I'm free at last! Thank God Almighty I am free at last!" (MLK or DC Talk). I just finished my final final for this semester. That means I am half way through. That also means a lot more money from working full time while at the same time a lot more time for things like Diablo II and this. All three of my finals were painfully easy, my paladin just got promoted to slayer, and my sorceress is final getting to the point where she can stand well on her own. Life could not get much better, eh? How much do you want to bet that in August, on move in day, I will have another paragraph that begins very much the same way this one did. I will *finally* be getting out of that house!
The good news--the Lord certainly delivered that Social Psych final into my hand today.
Now the more interesting topic. I have learned that a significant number of youth leaders have decided to leave the old E.J. group. I am almost certain they no longer have any female leaders, unless someone new came along in the last two or three weeks. This would mean that they are not *technically* allowed to be meeting right now. There was some discussion between myself and one of the other old leaders about whether or not we need to see to it that this rule is enforced with this group. The problems with that group that lead to the beginning of the process of forming a new group were pretty solid to begin with. Unfortunately I keep hearing that, in the words of the W's, "Things are getting worse now. Worse now every day. When things start to get better they stop to my dismay." A few days ago someone from this old group queried me about my long-term absence. She asked me if I don't love them anymore. I want everyone who has had that thought to know that my absence has not been out of a failure to love you. My absence has been BECAUSE I love you all. I have been off preparing for you a better place. Hmm...even as I type that my mind begins to draw great parallels.
One of these days I must figure out how to install e-sword and many of its components on a CD so I can use it while I am in computer labs at school, as well as give it away more easily
Let's see here...I met another youth counselor. I added information on the Armor of God to my lessons page, mostly derived from Pastor Ted's sermons, but not entirely. I had an awesome time camping this weekend. It wasn't really too much of a camping trip--we went to see a movie in the middle. Anger Management is a VERY good movie. Go see it.
It is about time for finals now. Everyone around me is talking about how stressed they are. I don't get it--you go in to a room, you take a test, you leave--wasn't that easy? Where is the stress?
I finally managed to find one of my old lessons. I also am remembering other ones very slowly without finding them, so that section exists now.
Ya know what is really great? The W's! Who wouldn't love sarcastic tunes accurately expressing the current adulterous behavior of the bride of Christ? Sometimes they sort of sneak it in there, like in the song Stupid. The first verse is about a woman who decided to try to dry her poodle in the microwave after giving it a bath. "That poor little poodle never heard the bell ding. / She went out with a bang if you know what I mean. / Stupid, that was stupid. / No you can't say that that was smart..." In the second verse a guy is arrested for breaking and stealing from vending machines. He ends up convicted because he paid off his bail in change. Now the real kicker--BOTH of those are actually recorded true stories. Those of us who have stopped laughing long enough to listen to the third verse, however, hear about how we are waving our bibles at people and bombing abortion clinics while telling people they will know we are Christians by our love. OUCH! And it is sooooo true! Sometimes they are NOT so subtle. Later on the CD trouble with X, the verses in the song "Tip from me" very bluntly say, "I can understand why you think things are fine the way they are / and I don't blame you I've seen the example and I can figure it out myself / figure it out myself....Unity has turned up missing / seen by all that look inside / so called freedom traded for bondage / and I expect a change of mind / wouldn't mind a change....I can see why you don't want this after all we've done for it / We're known for love resembling hatred / proudly shown to humble all / humbled thy word shows...." Is this song not awesome? These guys seem to see the same things I do! I recommend their music to everyone.
I really seriously did look for some of my old lesson plans today! Unfortunately they are somwhere in my bedroom. They are definitely there because I almost never throw anything away. They will probably be hiding there for a while because I almost never throw anything away.
I was wrong about finally being able to get some sleep at night. I have been having this weird dream that keeps making me wake up angry and tense and sore. Actually I have had it often enough that just to hear the melody of a song in the dream now causes me to become physically sore. I do not remember the name of the song, but it is one that I have only heard at IV and repeated in my head far too many times this week. The words I can remember are "light the fire". There is a sort of a voice over in the dream that stops me from hearing the rest. I can just hear the music itself in the background. The voice over is a male voice questioning just how many people, or if there are any people at all there who actually intend to change their lives as suggested by that song. I could remember most of the things that were said, but perhaps for now they are best left unrepeated.
WOOHOO! I finally got to talk to Kaitlin again. Now that I know that friendship is still in tact I will be sleeping a lot better and I won't be so depressed and desperate and a bunch of other things! Her friendship is valuable to me because she is one of VERY few people I feel I can truly bond with. The amount she and I have in common is incredible! Oh, by the way, HAPPY EASTER! Lucky me, I got to work ten and a quarter hours today. Now, without any sarcasm, lucky me, I got to spend it all on a fork lift. I love driving that thing! Oh, and let's not forget that I actually earned over thirty hours' pay today. I still do not approve of working Easter, and I especially don't approve of the way the company messed with Tim and I on that, but hey, I tried to do a good deed and cover for Tim so he could see his wife once before she is finally deployed. At first I was not even sure about that, but then I started thinking of the time Christ healed a woman on the Sabbath day...perhaps this should be yet another lesson. ARGH! Lessons! I really will get around to putting those up some day. I did spend a part of today looking up different verses on love with my e-sword. So far I have only supported that statement that one might occassionally see in my buddy info about God and Love. The romantic in me was kind of disappointed--until it realized that I was only misnaming what I enjoy. It is more appropriately non-lustful romance, not love. I also learned something almost disheartening about love. It has no direct affect on a Christian who seeks the love of a Christian, but it might be a bit disappointing to all those unbelievers who talk about how much they love or are loved by their boyfriend or girlfriend.
As long as I am being so long-winded today, I just need to ask you women one question: What is with the giggling? Earlier today my brother's prom date's friend called. Dave wasn't home so she gave me a phone number for him to call the two of them back at. IT took her a good five minutes to manage to pronounce seven stinking digits! All she could do was giggle. I might argue that my looks are just that hilariously bad, but that was over the phone!
Oh yeah, (I really will shut up soon) Yesterday I ran to the mall and picked up a new devotional. This one is on leadership. I rather like it so far. This may have something to do with the fact that it keeps reaffirming things that I always believed to be correct about leadership, but seriously, it is great. A little side note to the person from Grace Covenant who told me one of the main teachings there was that all were meant to be leaders: This is absolutely, without question, scripturally incorrect. According to the letters, and especially the letters to Timothy, wwhile we are all supposed to witness and share Christ, there are VERY heavy restrictions placed on those who are supposed to lead the sheep.
Wow...I think I could go on for days right now, but I do need to be at work in about seven hours so perhaps it is about time for me to shut my computer and myself down. Who knows, maybe if I am awake enough tomorrow I will actually get around to putting up some lessons!
A number of you have been asking me about the progress of the new groups that I have been working on forming. I have been keeping track for myself, so adding that here was just a matter of adding html tags. I fixed a few speeling errors too. Feel free to point them out to me so I can make things right. Maybe one of the days I will get around to putting some of my old lesson plans up here too for others to use. Who knows, I may even just start writing new ones to put up here and use when I can't come up with any fresh ideas.
Hey y'all! I really strongly recommend downloading from e-sword. That is an awesome bible study tool! Well now Trevor has been wanting for quite some time now to see how I proved that the universe is made of lasagna. I FINALLY got around to showing him--by adding the paper to this site.
I guess it is about time I try to do something with this bit of hard drive that has been reserved for me on some remote computer for several years now. I ask myself, what on earth should I do with 20 MB or whatever it is. Having hardly enough web space to plan to take over the world, or even the plant I work in, I guess I shall not be able to become like Brain. Pinky and the brain...I miss those days when my P.O.D. class would sit there and watch Pinky and the Brain, or if they weren't on, we had everything from (fake) table dances to eraser battles. There are few more interesting feelings than throwing a friend through a door in the middle of class without any teachers around caring. Ah, but that familiar world is long gone for me. I am 19 and should be coming out of a seasonal depression just now. That means I was just awfully depressed for a while, but that spawns some interesting ideas from time to time as I try to keep myself encouraged or sometimes even embrace depression fully. Perhaps these are the things that belong here. Oh, and if I can find it maybe I can even prove that the universe is made of lasagna. Me is hungry. I do promise I will get around to including more than just text here as I have time. If I do not do that I would bet Kaitlin would complain about it. That brings me to my final point for now--Women are evil! Very few of them are worth a guy's time and if one is then she is either already taken for life, already dead, or a lesbian. Okay, so Kaitlin *might* be the exception to this rule.
Just who is this moron?
Lesson Plans and Seeds
A Simple Quiz, Primarily for Christians
A World of Lasagna
Game Room
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