Seinfeld Episodes
33. The Fix-Up
Neurotic, bulimic Cynthia (Maggie Wheeler) tells Elaine she's looking to meet a guy who "has nothing. Someone who just has to appreciate being with me because he's so desperate." Naturally, Elaine and Jerry think of George, who promptly--and proudly ("My boys can swim!")--saddles Cynthia with a pregnancy scare.
Rating...A-
body.wav
George: "What about the body?What kind of body?"
Jerry: "Good body. Nice body."
George: "How nice?"
Jerry: "Nice."
George: "Just nice?"
Jerry: "Pretty nice."
George: "Pretty good?"
Jerry: "Really very nice and good."
cheek.wav
George: "What about the skin? I need a good cheek. I like a good cheek."
Jerry: "She's got a fine cheek."
George: "Is there a pinkish hue?"
Jerry: "A pinkish hue?"
George: "Yes, a rosy glow."
Jerry: "There's a hue."
hair.wav
George: "If you stick your hand in the hair, is it easy to get it out?"
Jerry: "Do you want to be able to get it out? Or do you not want to be able to get it out?"
George: "I'd like to be able to get it out."
Jerry: "I think you'll get it out."
notgoodenough.wav
Cynthia: "The mediocre ones are available. But they're so insecure about not being one of the good ones that they're always going 'Well, I'm not good enough for you. What are you doing with me?'. And eventually i just go...'You're right'."
smart.wav
Jerry: "Funny, bright..."
George: "Smarter than me? I don't want anyone smarter than me."
Jerry: "How could she be smarter than you?"
34. The Boyfriend
In the series' first hour-long venture, a chance locker-room meeting pulls Jerry into a friendship-cum-infatuation with "single pump handshaker" and New York Met Keith Hernandez (playing himself); when Elaine starts dating him, Jerry's not sure whom he's jealous of. Kramer and Newman have their own connection to the baseball great--a fateful 1987 "assassination" incident outside Shea Stadium. Meanwhile, George "the chucker" is in full fraudulent swing as he tries to extend his unemployment benefits.
giant.wav
George: "You know what I'd like to do? I'd really like to have sex with a tall woman. I mean really tall...like a giant. Like 6'5"."
Jerry: "Really?"
George: "What was the tallest woman you ever slept with?"
Jerry: "I don't know...6'3"."
George: "Wow! God! See, this is what I think about...sleeping with a giant."
35. The Limo
An airport scam goes horribly wrong as George (with Jerry) impersonates a Mr. O'Brien to appropriate his limo. Turns out O'Brien's the author of The Big Game, a hate group's manifesto, and the car's en route to his neo-Nazi rally.
Rating...C+
Sorry but I don't have any wav.'s for this episode...yet.
36. The Good Samaritan
An outraged Jerry chases down a hit-and-run driver (Melinda McGraw), only to end up dating her. Kramer has seizures triggered by the voice of Entertainment Tonight's Mary Hart. (Don't we all?)
Rating...C
goodlookin.wav
Jerry: "You know, if you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze you shouldn't say 'God bless you', you should say 'You're sooooooo good-lookin'."
right.wav
Jerry: "Oh...right, right, right..."
37. The Letter
Jerry dates jealous, Neil Simon-plagiarizing painter Nina (Catherine Keener), whose father is the accountant for the Yankees; when she provides free owner's-box seats, Orioles-cap-wearing Elaine causes a brouhaha. Also thanks to Nina, the art world gets a load of Kramer.
Rating...C-
Sorry but I don't have any wav's for this episode...yet.
38. The Parking Space
A plan to get together at Jerry's to watch a prizefight is stalled when George and another presumptive guest, Mike (Lee Arenberg), wind up in a curbside standoff in front of the building.
Rating...C
disappointment.wav
Kramer: "Well, I'm very disappointed in George and Elaine. And you know I'm somebody you don't want on your bad side."
Jerry: "Why not?"
Kramer: "'Cause I'm like ice, buddy...when I don't like you, you've got problems."
e-mail me...