Written by Azura

 

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.  I am simply borrowing them from the makers and producers of ER and NBC.  And Warner Brothers, I believe too. 

 

Synopsis : Takes place after “Sailing Away” and will center around John Carter and Abby Lockheart.  Also will include Dave Malucci, Mark Greene, Luka Kovac, and pretty much everyone.

 

Parts 1-2 / ?

 

Johnny Be Good…

 

Prologue…

 

~*~

Make me a witness
Take me out
Out of darkness
Out of doubt
I won't weigh you down with good intention
Won't make fire out of clay
Or other inventions

~*~

 

“Luka, how is Maggie?”  John asked as he walked up on the man.

 

Luka turned and glared at John.  “She’s fine Carter.”  He said in his heavy accent.  “Vital signs are stable… she’ll be alright.”

 

John nodded, cocking his head to the side.  “What is your problem?”

 

Luka sighed heavily.  “What do you mean?”

 

John laughed.  “That, right there.  That sigh.  The glare you’ve been giving me since Abby and I got back from…”  He paused as realization dawned on him.  “Ah, that’s it.  You’re pissed that I went with Abby to Oklahoma.”

 

Luka turned to walk off.  “What do you expect?  Joy?”

 

John laughed sardonically.  “Well, I guess not, but not hostility.”

 

Luka turned, causing John to nearly bump into him.  “Look, Carter, don’t talk to me right now.”

 

John shook his head at the angry doctor’s back.  “Look, Kovac, I’m sorry if you’ve got your panties in a twist over me accompanying your girlfriend to and from Oklahoma, but she needed a friend.”

 

“I AM her friend, Carter.”  Luka said, stopping but not turning around.

 

John shrugged.  “Obviously not much of one.  She needed you and you bailed.”

 

Luka turned angrily at that.  “Excuse me, she did not ASK me to join her, okay?”

 

“No, actually, not okay.”  John said, stepping even closer to him.  “That was the point, Kovac, you didn’t ask HER.  She didn’t ask me.” 

 

“What does that mean?”

 

John laughed again, only ruffling Luka’s already ruffled feathers further.  “She shouldn’t have had to ask you, Luka, you should have volunteered.”

 

“She didn’t need to go, Carter!  I could have made one phone call and her mother would have been in a hospital in a couple of hours.”  He pointed to the room Maggie was staying in.  “Obviously that woman is uncontainable and needs to be hospitalized.  I told Abby that, but no, she wanted to go to Oklahoma, take care of it herself…”

 

“It’s her MOTHER, Luka!”  John yelled.  “She loves her!  She wanted her to be safe and comfortable… and with her daughter!”

 

“Leave me alone Carter.”

 

“No, if you have some bitching to do, do it with me, okay?  Don’t go to her and bitch at her for accepting my offer of help because you’ve got an ego problem!  Her mother is very sick.”

 

“I KNOW her mother is sick Carter!  I treated her two hours ago for a suicide attempt.”

 

John raised his hands in a surrendering motion.  “Fine, you know what?  You wanna be mad me, be mad at me.   You wanna hate me and glare at me, do it all you like.  But I was simply being a friend…”

 

“No, being a friend is giving her a phone call, or a word of encouragement.  Not spending the weekend with her…”

 

“Fella’s, fella’s, you wanna fight like little schoolboys, I’ll be as interested as the next overly eager hormonal teenage boy yelling ‘fight, fight’, but not in my ER, okay boys?”  Robert Romano said briskly as he breezed by in a suit and tie.  “Take it outside, or better yet… grow up.”

 

~*~

Will we burn in heaven
Like we do down here?
Will the change come while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.....

~*~

 

Luka delivered one final death glare to John before turning around and walking down the hall to start his mid-shift rounds.  John angrily clenched his fists and whirled around, looking for something to distract him from the blood pumping crazily through his veins. 

 

“Jeez, you look like you’re going to pop a brain cell, Carter.  What’s up?”  Mark said as he walked up to the counter.

 

John gritted his teeth and started to come back with a nasty remark until he saw the little bundle in Green’s arms.  “Mark, is that your baby?!”  He said, smiling for the first time in the three hours since they brought in Maggie.

 

Mark smiled and held his little girl up for Carter to see.  “Yes it is.  Say hi Ella!”

 

John grinned and stuck a finger in the babies little hand.  “Hi Ella!”  He looked up at Mark.  “She’s beautiful.”

 

Mark looked down at her.  “Isn’t she?”  He looked back up.  “Wanna hold her?”

 

John’s eyes widened.  “Really?  Can I?”  Mark nodded and very carefully handed her over to John.  “Oh, you’re a tiny little thing aren’t ya?  Yes.”  She grabbed the front of his shirt and cooed at him.  “And you’re going to ruin my shirt aren’t you…”  As he said this one of the buttons popped off and he laughed.  “I knew that.  That’s okay…”

 

Dave Malucci walked up, looking at his clipboard distractedly.  “Has anyone seen Chloe?  I’m looking in on one of her patients and….”  He trails off as he looks at Carter holding Ella.  He glares at Mark.  “Oh, Carter can hold her, but me, no way right?”

 

Carter laughed.  “That’s cause he knew I would hold her, Malucci, not play football with her.”

 

Malucci didn’t smile. “I know how to take care of babies man!  I do!  I’m not a goof.”

 

John looked at Mark and handed Ella back to him.  He put a hand on Malucci’s shoulder. “Jury’s still out on that one buddy.”  He laughed as he heard Malucci repetitively asking Mark to hold Ella, only to have Mark repetitively say no.

 

~*~One hour later~*~

 

~*~

And when we're done soul searching
And we carried the weight and died for the cause
Is misery made beautiful right before our eyes?
Will mercy be revealed, or blind us where we stand?

~*~

 

Abby didn’t turn as the door opened, just continued to stare out over the city.  The wind whipped her hair around, effectively wiping at her tears.  She smiled as John joined her at the edge.  “Hey.”  She whispered.

 

He leaned his back against the wall, facing her.  “You okay?”

 

She smiled and laughed slightly, wiping at the tears her hair had left behind.  “Do I look okay?”

 

He smiled sympathetically.  “Anything I can do?”

 

She shook her head and turned her back to the wall, emulating his position.  “I’m sorry about Luka.”

 

He grimaced.  “Who told you?”

 

She laughed.  “Romano of all people.”  She smiled.  “He can actually be really sweet, when he’s being human.”

 

John laughed.  “Romano?  Sweet?  He would shoot you if he heard you say that.”

 

She looked away.  “I’m thinking of breaking up with Luka, anyway.”

 

John held back a smile.  “Why?”

 

She smiled at him.  “You can stop hiding it, I know you hate him.”

 

“I don’t HATE him….”  John started.  He smiled when she gave him a knowing look.  “Okay, so I severely dislike him, I think he’s a pompous ass, but… that’s me, you like him.”

 

“Well…”

 

“Why?  Come on, you can tell me.  I promise I will contain my distain… for the time being.”

 

“He’s just… he’s just so emotionally off…”  She bit her lip.  “By off I don’t mean like my mom’s off, I mean… he’s not on.   He shuts down on me.  When he’s upset, he won’t talk to me, he won’t open up to me… in fact, he snaps my head off if I even try to get him to talk to me.  And if I’m upset… it’s like he doesn’t even notice, you know?  He gives me a cursory ‘you okay?’ and then wipes his hands clean and all’s well.  I don’t operate that way.”

 

“And this recent episode just was the proverbial straw?”

 

“That broke the camel’s back?  Yeah, I guess.”  She looked at John.  “Do you know that he actually got mad at me for going?  He had this so-called solution and when I didn’t say ‘oh yes, honey, you’re right, I’ll do that’ he blew up at me.  And then I told him you were going with me…”

 

“Yeah, he’s pretty pissed about that huh?”  John said, this time unable to hold back a slight smile.  “I have to admit, he’s fun to piss off… it’s so easy.”

 

She laughed.  “Yeah, if you don’t like the guy!”

 

“Oh, that’s right, you do.”  He tried to frown but failed miserably, making both of them laugh.  “So, why do you think he was so mad?”

 

“About me going?  Or… about you?”

 

“About me.”

 

She looked away.  “Probably the same reason your girlfriend got mad.”

 

He smiled a little uncomfortably.  “He thinks you have a crush on me?”

 

She laughed.  “Yeah, funny huh?”

 

He laughed and pushed away from the wall.  “Well, it’s kinda cold out here.  Listen, do you wanna go get some coffee across the street or something?”

 

“Actually,”  she started hesitantly.  “I’d like to go home.  My mom’s here for the foreseeable future and they have guards on her… Could you take me home?”

 

He nodded.  “Of course.  Sure, come on.”  He said, reaching out a hand, pulling her away from the wall.  Placing a hand on her back he led her down the stairs, through the hospital, and to the rental car.

 

~*~

Will we burn in heaven
Like we do down here?
Will a change come while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.....

~*~

 

As they pulled up to her apartment building he put the car in park and smiled at her.  “You gonna be okay tonight?  You sure you wanna be alone?  We could go get something to eat, or some coffee.”

 

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, licking her lips.  “Look, Carter, I just wanna say th…”

 

“Hey, I know, it’s okay.  No problem…”

 

“No, no, Carter.  What you did was so…”  she paused, searching for the words.  “So sweet, and generous, and above and beyond the call of duty or friendship…”

 

He shrugged uncomfortably.  “Hey, I saw you needed help, and I wanted to be there for you…”

 

She blinked as tears came to her eyes.  “No, you did more than that.  What you did, no one’s done for me.  You came and you saved me, and helped me through the bad part of my life… People don’t usually stick through the bad parts, Carter, and you volunteered.  I’m sorry you had to see that…”

 

“Well,” he said,  “You’ll just return the favor someday, and we’ll be even…”

 

She laughed.  “Do you have a psycho mother too?”

 

“Okay, maybe not the exact same favor but…. Please stop crying…”  He said softly, reaching out to wipe away her tears with a thumb.  “I hate it when you cry…”

 

She looked up and him and caught his hand in hers.  Slowly she leaned forward and kissed him.  As soon as their lips touched she realized she’s wanted this since they’d caught eyes at the AAA meeting that had brought them together.  She brought her body close to his and brushed the side of his face with the back of her hand. 

 

After a moment John came out of the shock he was in and realized he was kissing Abby Lockheart… and loving it.  He brought his left hand up and cradled her head in it as he deepened their kiss.  He felt her tears fall on his face and his heart melted for her.  Deepening the kiss even further he pulled her tighter to him. 

 

Suddenly she retreated to her side of the car, her face flushed and panting slightly.  “Abby…”  he croaked.

 

“I’m sorry.”  She rushed, opening her door.

 

“Abby!”  He yelled, trying to reach out.  “No, Abby, wait!”

 

She closed the door and touched the glass.  “I’m sorry.”  She said, her voice muffled. 

 

He saw her tears quicken and he jumped out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition.  “Abby wait!”  He ran up the stairs slightly behind her and reached the top just in time for the door to shut on him.  “Abby, please, wait a minute.”

 

“Go home Carter.”  She shouted from inside the building.

 

“Please, talk to me.”  He yelled, touching the panes of glass where her hands were, matching his hand over hers.  He caught her eyes with his.  “Abby please…”

 

“Goodnight, Carter.”  She said.  With that she turned and walked slowly up the stairs to her apartment.

 

Dejectedly he turned and walked back to the rental car.  All the way home he thought about what had happened in that car and the way her lips on his had made him feel.  She made him feel better than Rena did.  She made him feel better than anyone had in a long time.  She made him feel alive.

 

She made him feel what he had felt that one brief time he had kissed Lucy.

 

~*~

Will we burn in heaven
Like we do down here?
Will a change come while we're waiting?
Everyone is waiting.....

~*~

 

"Witness" by Sarah Mclachlan

 

 

 

Chapter 1

 

Carter put his duffle bag in his locker and looked at the little mirror at his slightly puffy eyes.  He hadn’t really been sleeping all that good, not really at all in the three days it had been since he and Abby had gotten back from Oklahoma.   Turning he leaned against his locker after he had closed it, closing his eyes.  Once again Abby’s face materialized in his mind, first as she kissed him, then after, crying and running away from him.  Imprinted in his brain is how he had felt when her lips had touched his.  She had taken his breath away, and everything in him was at once lost, only concentrated in returning the passionate entanglement of lips and tongues. 

 

It wasn’t the guy thing where a kiss was a kiss.  It never had been that way with John.  When it came to relationships, John had always been more like a girl than the typical average guy.  There was a movie once, called Threesome, where Steven Baldwin’s character had said, in all sincerity, “Sex is like pizza… even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.”  John simply didn’t look at it that way.  Emotions were behind about 85% of everything he did.  Especially things like sex, and love vs. lust.  Even something as simple as a kiss.  Sure, any kiss was fine, unless you got that slob of a girl who seemed to literally try to suck your brain through your mouth… but it wasn’t a good kiss.  If he didn’t feel for her, it was just lips on lips.  A handshake in the form of lips.  But if he felt something for her, it was like trading souls.

 

Even if he hadn’t known he’d felt something for her in the first place.

 

“what’s up, Carter?  Headache?”  Dave Malucci said as he breezed into the lounge.  He smiled at John and opened his locker, obviously having been up all night and a little punchy from the delirium you felt when you were done from a particularly grueling long shift in the ER.  “I got one about three hours ago… I felt like someone had my head in a vice!  I took some Advil though.  Do you want some Advil?  Or, can you take Advil?  I mean, with the drug thing and all… are you allowed to, well, you’re probably allowed to, but…”

 

John started to laugh as he looked at Malucci’s flustered and slightly contrite face as he tried to cover up what he thought was a foot-in-the-mouth type of situation.  “Dave, it’s alright.  I am allowed to take Advil, but I don’t need to.  I don’t have a headache.”

 

“Oh, really?  Cause you look like crap, no offense.”  Dave said matter-of-factly, turning back to his locker.

 

John laughed even harder.  “Dave, have you ever thought about what you were saying before you said it?”

 

Malucci smiled a little self-consciously.  “I did it again huh?”

 

“Insulted me without meaning to?  Yeah.”  John said, still laughing.  He patted Dave on the shoulder.  “It’s alright, I know I look like crap…”

 

“It’s not that I mean to say you look like crap, I mean, you don’t …. You’re a very handsome type of guy, Carter, not that I’m gay… or not that I have a problem with people that are gay…  I just meant that you looked like you felt like crap… but maybe that was over the line….”

 

John was now doubled over with laughter.  “Stop, stop it Dave.  You’re cracking me up.”

 

“What’s going on?”  Mark said as he entered the lounge.  John was too busy laughing to answer.

 

“Dr. Greene, what are you doing here?  You just had a baby, I woulda thought you’d be home.”  Dave asks, clearly thinking over every word as he said it.

 

Mark gave him a slightly strange look, confused by his slow, concentrated way of speaking.  “Are you alright, Dave?”

 

Dave sighed.  “I’m tired of people getting pissed at me because I say what I mean… I’m trying to think a little more before I speak.”

 

John finally controlled his laughter.  “Dave, I didn’t get pissed, I thought it was funny.”

 

Dave slammed his locker shut.  “Yeah, well, I don’t appreciate being laughed at either.”  He said angrily, walking briskly out the door.

 

Mark and John shared a look of bewilderment.  “Come on Dave! I was kidding!”  John yelled.  Shrugging he turned to Mark.  “So, what are you doing her anyway?”

 

Mark sighed.  “Believe me, I’d love to be home watching my beautiful baby girl…”

 

“She is beautiful Mark.”

 

Mark beamed proudly.  “Thank you… Kerry called and said she couldn’t get a flight back early tomorrow morning, something about a delay.  So, I told her I’d cover for her.”

 

John started to reply but fell silent as Abby entered the lounge, stopping dead in her tracks as she caught eyes with him. He started to say something to her but she turned on her heel and high tailed it out of there.  Mark looked at Carter in confusion.  “What was that about?”

 

John bit his lip and looked away.  “I dunno.”

 

Mark smirked.  “Right… she comes in here, stares at you, and leaves.  What happened?”

 

“Nothing, Mark, come on, let’s get out there… lives to save.”  John said, starting out.

 

“Come on Carter, tell me.. what happened between ya’ll on that trip?  Something happened didn’t it?”

 

John sighed.  “Alright, but you can’t tell anyone, got it?”

 

Mark nodded, leaning against the wall.  “Come on, out with it.”

 

“Well, Rena was really upset with me for going, so she broke up with me…”  He paused.  “and, Abby was upset about her mom, and with Luka for…”

 

“Being Luka…”  Mark interjected.

 

John nodded.  “And, well… we kissed.”

 

Mark’s smile widened.  “I knew it.”

 

“You knew what?”  John said, smiling himself.

 

“That there was something between you two.”

 

John shook his head.  “Well, if you knew, why didn’t you tell me?  Cause, it sure came as a surprise to me.”

 

Mark looked at him in disbelief.  “Oh, come on Carter.  You had to know.”

 

“I didn’t.”

 

Mark shook his head.  “Well, there has been for a while now.  Ever since you got back from… rehab…  you talk to her all the time…”

 

“She’s my sponsor, Mark.  This can’t be good.”

 

Mark was silent.  “Well… I didn’t know that part, but… so what now?”

 

John sighed.  “I don’t know.  She, as you just witnessed, has been avoiding me.”

 

“Maybe she’s embarrassed.  Who initiated the kiss?”

 

“She did.”  He said.  “But I most definitely reciprocated it.”

 

“Maybe she’s confused.  She’s been with Luka for awhile now, maybe she’s feeling guilty.”  Mark offered.  “Talk to her.”

 

John sighed. “I’ve been trying to Mark, that’s just it.  I’ve called several times and I either get her answering machine or Luka answers.  And what am I supposed to say there?  Oh, hey Luka, I just need to talk to your girlfriend, see, we kissed and I’m confused about how she feels about me now, cause SHE’S STILL WITH YOU!”

 

“Try to corner her here.”  Mark suggested.

 

“This is the first shift I’ve worked with her on since… but I will try.”

 

The door swung open.  “Doctor Greene, Doctor Carter… we’ve got a trauma coming in, ETA is 1 minute… Two major, one minor.”  Helah said briskly, disappearing just as quickly. 

 

Mark hit Carter on the arm quickly as they started out.  “Good luck man.”

 

“Thanks,”  John said back, rushing to the loading bay.  He reached the ambulance as Abby did and they locked eyes momentarily.  That was broken soon as the doors swung open the medic jumped out, pulling on her end of the stretcher.  “What’s the situation?”  He asked, as he helped them get the stretcher down. 

 

As they ran inside the medic filled them in.  “MVA, she’s late teens, early 20s maybe, apparently she was changing a tire on the side of a busy road and a SUV sideswiped her along with her car.  Her BP is low, she’s lost a lot of blood and is loosing more.  We had to shock her in the van and her vitals went up, but if we don’t get some blood into her soon, we’ll loose her…”

 

“I’ll check her BP to see where we’re at!”  John yelled to Abby as the medic took off.  “Get Benton or whoever is available in here.”  He reached for her right arm to check her blood pressure but instead came up with a bloody stump where her hand should have been.  “God!” John yelled, startled.

 

“Poor kid…”  Abby muttered, turning to run into the hall.  “Dr. Greene, can you come in here?”

 

Twenty minutes later Mark took off his gloves and looked at John. “Alright, she’s stable.”  He looked at Abby.  “Call up to surgery for them to clean up the severed hand and try to find her family.”  Looking back at Carter he nodded as he started to leave.  “Carter, get her up to surgery as soon as they’ll have her, we’ve got the blood semi-controlled, but I’m afraid if they don’t fix that soon, she’ll bleed out again.” 

 

As the other interns and nurses filed out Carter began to search through her pockets for a wallet or a picture that would give him some kind of hint who she was.  He looked at Abby.  “Any purse or anything that Shirley brought in?”  He asked, referring to the medic that had brought her in, as Abby finished her call to the OR.

 

“They can take her in OR 1, and yes, there is a purse.”  She said curtly.  She reached in the purse and pulled out a license.  “I’ll see if I can contact them.”

 

John stared at her quickly retreating form in aggravation.  Ignoring him was once thing, but why did she have to be so cold towards him.  She acted as though she were angry with him.  Shaking his head he reminded himself that he didn’t have time to worry about Abby’s feelings, or lack there of, towards him.  He picked up a towel and began to clean the girl off where he could, knowing that when the OR said now, they meant five minutes.  He looked at the young girl’s face and wondered how old she was.  She was obviously old enough to drive, maybe a senior in high school, or even a senior in college.  You never could really tell at that age.  Some people look older, some look younger.  You could tell she had a pretty face, but she was grossly overweight.  In the category of obese.  But something about her made John pause.  She looked somewhat familiar.  Or, maybe she was just one of those people that look so kind you think you know them.

 

As he wheeled her to the elevator Abby caught back up to him.  “I’ve contacted her family and they’re on they’re way here… They will contact her family doctor and get her file here as soon as possible.”

 

“What’s her name?”  John asked her.

 

“Kelly Higginbotham.”  Abby answered, turning to leave.

 

John reached out and stopped her as the elevator opened.  “I’m gonna go up with her, maybe scrub in…”

 

“Ok, I’ll let Mark know…”

 

“Abby, we need to talk.”  He said as the elevator doors started to close.  “I mean it, today.”

 

Abby was glad the elevator doors closed when they did, she didn’t want John to see the look of fear in her eyes.

 

~*~Several Hours later~*~

 

John checked the chart on the wall of the girl he had treated earlier and saw that Haleh had just served her food, meaning that she had awoken.  He smiled and walked into the room.  “Hello Ms. Higginbotham.  My name’s John Carter and I’m your doctor….”

 

“Call me Kelly.  Ms. Higginbotham is my mom… actually, she’s Mrs… but anyway.”  She laughed.  “Are my parents here?”

 

He furrowed his brow.  “I don’t know.  They said they would be, but that was three hours ago…  I could go check…”

 

She waved her left hand.  “I’m so sluggish.”  She said, commenting on the labor it had taken to do the simple task of lifting an arm.  “Don’t worry about them, they’ll be here.”  She laughed.  “Dad can never pass up the opportunity to bitch at me.”

 

“This was not your fault, this was an accident…”

 

“He’ll find a way.”  She said, still smiling, though it was a little strained this time. 

 

He smiled as pulled up a chair so he could check her vitals, and also get a little information on her.  “I know the type.  So, Kelly, how are you feeling?”

 

She laughed.  “A little goofy.  What am I on?”

 

“Morphine?”  He told her. 

 

“Yeah, I’m a little more giggly than usual.  Um, I feel something’s wrong, but it doesn’t hurt.. It’s kinda just a hollow ache.”

 

He took a deep breath.  “You have three broken ribs.”

 

She rolled her eyes heavenward.  “Ouch, that’s gonna hurt in a little while.”

 

“Well, we’ll keep you on the morphine as long as you’re here, and when you leave we’ll give you pain medication, but yeah.”  He looked at his chart.  “Do you feel oriented?  Do you remember what happened?”

 

She scrunched her nosed up.  “I’m a little hazy.  I remember that I was on my way to an appointment….”  She suddenly tried to sit up, cringing.  “Ok, yeah that hurt.”

 

“What’s wrong?”  He asked, patting her arm, trying to calm her down. 

 

“Damn,”  she cursed.  “I had an interview to get to.”

 

“What kind of interview?”  He asked.  In the years he’d been at County he’d found that anything and everything they remembered was important cause sometimes it served to surface other more recent memories.

 

“I had an interview to apply for the position of intern with John Grisham!”  She said smiling.  “I’m a writer, do you have any idea how much of an honor that would be?  I met him a couple of months ago and he told me if I showed up for this interview he could pretty much guarantee the spot to me.”  She frowned.  “What time is it?”

 

He looked at his watch.  “7p.m.”

 

She closed her eyes.  “I hope Dad thought to call them.”

 

“Isn’t he the one who wrote The Client?”  John asked, interested.

 

“And The Pelican Brief, and The Chamber, and A Time To Kill.”

 

He smiled.  “Wow, yeah, that would be an honor.”

 

She frowned.  “Now I’m afraid I’ve blown it.”

 

“I’m sure he’ll understand.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“So,” he continued.  “Do you know how this happened?”

 

She racked her brain.  “I had a blow out, and I was on a busy road and pulled on the shoulder.  Of course the tire had to be on the left side with the traffic and I was pumping up the car to take the old one off and then I’m blank.  I’d assume I was hit by a car.”

 

He nodded.  “Yes you were.”

 

She bit her lip.  “And the other driver?”

 

John cleared his throat.  “Well, he didn’t make it I’m afraid.  His passenger is in ICU.”

 

Her eyes widened, clearly shocked and dismayed.  “You’re kidding me!  I’m on the side of the road, unprotected by a car, out in the open, and he runs into me and I’m alive and he’s dead?”

 

“Apparently when he hit you and your car he swerved to the left and went over the embankment….”

 

“Oh God.”  She said, covering her mouth with her left hand.  “So… what’s my damage?”

 

“I should really wait for your parents…”

 

“Doc, I’m 22 years old, you don’t need to wait for my parents.”  She made a funny face.  “Why can’t I move my right arm?”

 

He looked down.  “Kelly, I’m sorry, but your right hand was severed at the wrist in the collision.”  She stared at him for a full minute without speaking.  “As I said you have three broken ribs and…”

 

“No, no, no wait a minute.  Back up!”  She yelled, any traces of a smile void on her face. 

 

It was then that Abby stepped in the room.  “Carter, there’s a man here to see you…”

 

“Tell him he’s busy!”  Kelly yelled, tears springing to her eyes.

 

“Abby, is it an emergency?”  John asked, not facing her.

 

“No.  He just wants to talk to you.”  She answered.

 

He nodded, glancing her way.  “Tell him I’m busy.”  He turned back to Kelly.  “Are you okay?”  He asked as Abby retreated.

 

She shook her head.  “I had to have heard you wrong.  My hand is severed?  You mean incapacitated… temporarily right?!”

 

“I’m sorry, Kelly.”  He said, surprised at the emotions she seemed to bring out of him.  He’d thought by now he’d be immune to emotions invoked by a patient’s distress.

 

She laid her head back and a single tear escaped her eyes.  “But, that’s impossible.”  She whispered.  She looked John in the eyes.  “I’m a writer, I need my hands… both of them.”

 

He had to look away from her penetrating gaze.  “With technology so advanced now days I’m sure you could get a fully operable prosthetic hand….”

 

“You don’t understand!”  She shouted, fully crying now.  “Sometimes, my hands do my thinking for me!  Sometimes they take over… no prosthetic anything is going to do that… all it will do is be functional!”

 

“Young lady, don’t yell at your doctor!”  A stern voice called from the door.  John turned to see a short husky man in front of a timid woman.  The man looked angry, but the woman looked scared and upset.

 

Kelly immediately broke down in sobs.  She grabbed John’s coat with her left hand and looked at him. “I’m sorry… I… I didn’t mean to take it out on you…”

 

The woman stepped forward, crying herself and hugged Kelly to her.  “Oh, baby, you’re gonna be alright…”  She soothed.

 

The man stepped forward towards John.  John stood and reached out his hand.  “Mr. Higginbotham I presume?”

 

The man nodded.  “Max.  This is my wife Kathy.”  He said, pointing to the woman hugging her daughter.  “I apologize for my daughter’s behavior.”

 

John heard Kelly groan slightly.  “Oh, sir, please, that’s alright…”

 

Abby walked in.  “Oh, sir, there you are.  I’m sorry Carter, I told him to wait in the lounge.”

 

John waved Abby in.  “Abby this is Kelly’s parents.” 

 

She smiled and nodded at them.  “I know.”

 

“Could you please check on her meds.. maybe look at giving her a sedative, she’s pretty upset…”

 

“I’ve told her time and time again to keep her emotions more in check.”  Max said sternly, giving Kelly “the look”.  The look that said “you are making a fool of yourself and making me look bad.”  It was the same “look” that John’s father had given him on many occasions and he found himself sympathizing with Kelly even more.

 

“As I was about to say Mr. Higgin…”

 

“Max, please.”

 

“Max, was that your daughter’s reaction is quite natural in situations like this.  Have you been informed of her condition?”

 

“Yes, Ms. Lockheart informed us.”   He said, smiling for the first time.

 

Abby smiled at him once more and turned to John.  “Her vitals are good, steady.   BP is normal, and the morphine is at its peak.  Do you want me to look into that sedative?”

 

“No.”  Called Kelly from the bed, slightly less hysterical.  She wiped at her eyes and grabbed her mother’s hand.  “I’m alright.  I’ll… be alright.”

 

John faced her.  “Are you sure?”  He asked. 

 

She nodded, catching eyes with her dad.  “I’m in control now.”  She said softly, contrite.

 

John had to bite his lip in aggravation.  It was people like Max Higginbotham and his father that drove people to drug abuse to hide the pain.  He felt a certain part of his anger reserved for his father surface for the man standing before him.  But, he had to keep that in check because a patient’s father was, really, none of his business.

 

“Well,” John said stiffly, looking at his clipboard.  “We’ll need you to fill out some information for her, and we’ll need to keep her for another 48 hours for observation.”

 

Max nodded.  “Shall I follow you to the desk for the papers?”

 

John nodded curtly and turned back to Kelly.  “There’s a red button on the control panel.  Push that if the pain comes back or you need me or someone for anything.  I”ll be back around in awhile.”

 

She somehow mustered a smile.  “Thank you Dr. Carter.”

 

He smiled genuinely at her.  “You’re welcome.”

 

He led Max down the hall to the administrations desk for the stack of insurance forms.  “Tell me Dr. Carter, is she drunk?”

 

“Oh, no sir, that’s the morphine.”  John told him.

 

He nodded tersely.  “Was she on anything at the time of the incident?  Alcohol, drugs?”

 

He shook his head in the negative.  “No sire, the toxicology report came back negative in all respects.  No foreign substances have entered her body in the past 24 hours.”

 

Max nodded.  “And this was an accident?”

 

John bit back a nasty report.  More and more this man reminded him of his father.  “Yes sir.  Apparently she had been changing a tire and another SUV sideswiped her.”

 

“And was the other driver hurt?”

 

“The other driver was killed.”  He said curtly.  “Your daughter is very lucky to be alive Sir.  She came very close.”

 

There it was finally.  That flicker of emotion behind the up to that point steely brown eyes.  John was slightly mollified that he had been able to witness that every so slight moment of worry in her father’s eyes.  But, then they were back to emotionless pools of molasses colored irises.  “Thank you for you frankness Dr. Carter.”  He said.

 

John leaned against the wall.  “Mr. Higgin… excuse me, Max, may I ask you a personal question?”

 

Max looked at him inquisitively.  “I suppose.”

 

“Are you a doctor yourself?  Or… were you in the service?”

 

Max looked a little taken aback.  “I was in the service during Vietnam.  Why?”

 

“Well, sir, if I may speak frankly?”  Max nodded.  John continued.  “They way you speak is more rational than emotional.”

 

Max nodded.  “Well, you’re observant anyway.”  He smiled then, and John was slightly surprised to see the genuine amusement behind his eyes.  “I am more right brained than left brained.  Kelly is always harping on me about being more open to my emotional side.  Or, my non-existent side so she says.”

 

John laughed.  “Well, my father is the same way,”  he said.  “He was in the service as well, and… speaking from her point of view… She doesn’t need to be lectured now.”  He watched as Max’s eyes hardened, now certain that he and his father had been cut at least partially from the same mold.  “She needs comfort.”

 

“And I don’t need,” Max started, “ some stranger to tell me how to act.” 

 

He turned to go back to his daughter’s room.  “Sir?”  John said.  Max turned.  “I wasn’t trying to tell you how to act.  I’m just saying… if I were her… I’d be unable to handle anything but comfort at this point and time.”

 

Max nodded.  “Good Day Dr. Carter.”  He said sternly, briskly walking away.

 

“Wooo!”  Malik said, walking up behind Carter.  “Icy!”

 

John nodded, turning and going back to his rounds.