Is it 92 red Dodge Shadow? A 95 blue Volkswagen Jetta? Does it look like every car in that horrific parking lot known at my school as "The Pit?"

Dear God no.

You can say a lot of things about my car, but you cannot say it looks like every other car out there. No, no; my car is 100% pure original.

At one time it was a plain white Dodge Colt and if it still looked like that it would be just like a lot of other cars on the road. But it doesn't.

Oh no, my Colt has huge purplepink stripes on the doors that resemble the Reebok logo. There's a non-factory installed sunroof. It also has a spoiler. Yup, that's right, a spoiler on a Colt. Completing the look is dark window tint and a chrome Mitsubishi grille (I demolished the Colt grille.)

I would like everyone to know that my car was a graduation gift, and it came that way. I did not operate under illusions that a Colt was a "cool" car and try to enhance its inherent "coolness" with these modifications. As a matter of fact, I was one of the many, many highschoolers who made fun of the guy who did "trick out" the Colt, calling the car the "Reebok Shoe." But once it was mine, I decided that it had personality and went about making it my own.

First of all, my car is a boy. Don't argue with me. I do have a thought-out explanation as to why my car is a boy. His name is Blue. Blue has fake fur cow print seats. Just cause. He also has a giant blue lei on his rearview mirror (the pretty flowered kind, not the plasticy kind) along with a graduation tassle, Mardi Gras beads, a little wooden Tiki God thingie, and oh yeah, my Mansfield University parking pass. He also has six stickers on his windows: Sublime, Blink 182, Third Eye Blind, Van Halen, Grateful Dead, and oh yeah, my old Mansfield University parking pass. Six stickers, and one decal: my East Stroudsburg University banner. I actually go to ESU not Mansfield, but it's a lot easier to get a MU parking pass.

Alas, poor Blue has leprosy. Yes, things just fall off all the time. It all started back in 1998 when I had first gotten my car. I was driving along when a screw fell out. My friend Val tried to roll down her window when the handle fell off. I was on a solo road trip when I tried to change the radio station and was left with that knob in my hand. Loading my bags into the hatch, or cargo bay as we like to call it, the license plate fell halfway off. Later the entire plastic backing to the inside of the hatch just fell off. The spoiler flew off while driving down the highway one fine day and has managed to come loose several other times. As long as the wheels stay put, I guess I'm ok.

When all is said and done I suppose it's a good car for the price, since it was free and all.