I would like to extend my deepest apologies for my inapropriate behavior the past few weeks. I have just been doing so much thinking, and it makes me so upset and yet so angry at the situation between Dina, Dee, and I, and it is soo stressful. And that poem that i wrote made me cry so long. And part of it was about Don, and then Amee, and Dee & Dina, and it is so upseting to me. I am pretty much clueless on the whole situation, they won't talk to me, so i have to interpretate what i hear and see, and yes it is difficult. And i find myself, dwelling on the past, bringing up all these memories, holding on to the past, and that is what im trying to do, and it is just so hard. I've been thinking about Don, and if i would have done one simple thing, would it have changed everything? I have no clue, and i ponder what the future might have held, and then Alek came along, and I am greatful for him, and we fight all the time, and I seem to take out all of my anger and problems out on him and i would like to apologize once more, and I hope that he will accept that and forgive. I don't want to fight, I just want to be happy, and hold on to the past and treasure the memories, but now knowing that they cared, will they eventually care again? I just hope so. All of my friends, despite what all has happened, I still love them all, and they are all valuable to lose, and I just want everything back the way it was. And then will I truly be forever happy. I have seemed to fix my relationship with my best friend since 5th grade, referring to Amee, and it is great. We have not fought in the longest time, and that makes me so happy. So one by one, i am reaquanting my friendships with everyone. I just hope that some will still want it. And if not, I sure know how to pick them, and once again, I have gotten dicked over by them. So, the choice is yours.
~Elyzabeth
I don't know whether i'm alive and dreaming, or dead and remembering.
