Application

Legal notice: EMSP is an equal-opportunity institution. Whether you be white, black, or orangeish; Christian, Buddhist, or Potato-worshipping; male, female, or hermaphrodite; straight, gay, or assexual; Republican, Communist, or Neo-Nazi; made of flesh, cloth, or masking tape, we will not discriminate against you. We do, however, have the right to kick you out if you're a jerk.

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Below is our on-line application. All applications will be reviewed by a trained panel of experts and, when we are done making naughty jokes at your expense, we will notify you of the results. As EMSP is a very selective school, take your time and think about each answer. When you are done, just hit the submit button at the bottom to apply via e-mail.

Basic Info:
Full Name:

Embarrassing or suggestive nicknames:

E-mail address:

Residence (town or university name is sufficient):

Short Answer:
If you were an item of produce, how much would you cost per pound?

If you woke up one morning and found 5 lbs. of raw hamburger on your desk, who would you suspect of having put it there?

Rock, Paper, or Scissors?

If you were a fatal injury or illness, what would you be?

If you created a phoney religion, what would the Third Commandment be?

If God were part of an equation, what variable would He be and what units would He be measured in?

Essay Question:
If you had to communicate with the world through a puppet, what would you name it? Why?

Is there anything else the admissions comittee should know about you?

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