Title: …Just another case… 
Rating: G 
Category: Humor! 
Author: Sarah Wilkes 
Author's note: Ok, ok. It may be quite evident as you read this that it's 
not like a normal Fanfic. This was, in fact, a project I wrote for my 
History class - we had to make up a story demonstrating three 
amendments from the Constitution. Just don't take it seriously, and who 
knows, maybe you'll think it's funny! I don't promise to make you laugh 
out loud, but I will try as hard as I can! 
Feedback: send it all to Starlight@aol.com. Just say hello, goodbye, or 
even ask me how to beat the 60th level of Space Blasters 3 (you'll see 
once you read the fanfic!).

 6:27am J. Edgar Hoover Building
 F.B.I Headquarters Washington D.C. 

Agent Scully stepped out of the elevator and made the leisurely decent 
down six steps, past the water cooler, and around the corner to her 
partner’s office, which was as always, honorably stationed in the 
basement. She turned the knob on the door labeled “Fox Mulder, 
Special Agent,” and, not for the first time, wondered when she would 
get her nameplate on the door. She had been working with him for 
seven years after all.
 “Hey Scully, come look at this!” 
Not even a hello, uh oh, she thought, he must be onto another 
governmental conspiracy. She hoped it wasn’t like the last one, when 
he was convinced that Windows 95 was a hideous, brain-sucking, 
stupefying experiment conducted by Reticulan leaders and their 
minions. Although, she admitted silently, it wasn’t as if the thought 
hadn’t crossed her own mind a few times. “ Good morning to you too, 
Mulder.” 
“ No time for introductions, Scully. We have to be at the airport in,” he 
looked at his watch, “thirty-four minutes.” “Why?” 
“ We’re going to California!” 
“But…what…how…why!” 
“ C’mon, grab your jacket, I’ll tell you on the way.” 
And so she obeyed, knowing fully well that he would enlighten her as 
to the nature of their latest case, and she would have to coax out of him 
why he was so interested; usually it was to do with abductees, 
monsters, or people with unexplainable “talents”…of course there was 
that one time when they’d met a woman claiming that the father of her 
baby was Luke Skywalker, that had been amusing. 

7: 09 LAX Airport Terminal 4 

“…so basically what you’re saying Mulder, is that someone is sending 
subliminal messages through electronic devices in peoples homes, such 
as televisions and microwaves, and telling them to go and buy 
McDondie’s burgers?” She asked, making a heroic effort not to smile - 
that would give him too much satisfaction. 
“ Not necessarily,” he remarked, watching her raise an eyebrow, “ I 
think they’re putting in a good word for the fries too.” She sighed. “ I 
have a hunch they’re trying to push the Mega-sized drinks as well.” 
“ Mulder!!!” He knew that frustrated expression. It was definitely time 
for him to shut up. “ And this is an X-file because…” 
“ Because I think it’s not fair that people should be purchasing 
McDondie’s food through no fault of their own, when Taco Shell is the 
clear superior to all fast-food chains.” 
Secretly, Scully disagreed, thinking that Burger Ring was the obvious 
favorite. In a sudden adrenaline rush, with the need to banter, she 
decided to voice this opinion. “ You must be kidding, Mulder. Burger 
Ring is one hundred times better than Taco Shell!!!” 
“ Excuse me, Scully, but if I’m not mistaken, we’re in America. In 
America, under permission issued in the Constitution, Amendment #1, 
I have the right to practice my own religion!” 
She giggled. “ I’m not sure if dedication to a fast-food restaurant counts 
as a religion Mulder.” 
His face reddened slightly. “Uh… well I still have a right to free 
speech.” 
She continued to giggle even as they signaled a taxi and told the driver 
to take them to the nearest McDondie’s. After staring at the price 
counter for a while, she developed a hunger for some McDondie’s fries. 
Strange, she’d never liked them before. 

7: 49 McDondie’s – 

“ Since 1879” Scully stepped out of the taxi leaving Mulder to pay the 
driver. He’d brought her all the way across the U.S to investigate the 
advertisement of burgers, he could pay for their ride. She noticed the 
caption above the doors, “Since 1879,” and snickered. The place looked 
like it hadn’t been repainted since 1879, and she was yet to see the 
furnishings inside. Just as she suspected. There were plastic seat covers 
in bright orange, and gaudy ‘70’s decor ( 1970’s not 1870’s : ). She 
followed Mulder as he marched up to the counter. 
“ Hello, I’m Mandy. May I take your order, sir?” 
Scully felt sorry for this obviously bright girl, having to do this job. It 
wasn’t that she thought working in a fast-food restaurant was 
demeaning, it was that she pitied her for being made to wear an orange 
and white striped apron. Tsk, tsk. A definite fashion no-no. 
“ We’re here to see your manager, by any chance is he in?” asked 
Mulder. The girl looked puzzled, until Mulder showed her his I.D 
badge. “Uh, ok. I’ll go get him.” 
While they were waiting for her to return, Scully looked up to where 
there was a security camera. From where she was standing, she could 
see the t.v screen too, and all of a sudden she got a hankering for a 
McDondie’s Cheesburger. That was odd. She’d never even tried one 
before. 
“ He says he’ll see you in his office, it’s through the kichen,” the girl 
had returned and was pointing in the direction of the back of the 
building. As Mulder and Scully passed behind the counter, and made 
their way through the kichen, Scully couldn’t help feeling overdressed 
in her suit, while everyone else ( not including Mulder, of course) was 
wearing little paper hats. They knocked on the door marked, 
“Manager,” and invited themselves in. As soon as he spotted the 
manager, Mulder ran over to him, around the desk, and handcuffed 
him. 
“What on earth is this about!” the man shouted. He didn’t seem too 
happy. 
“ Sir, you’re under arrest.” Mulder replied. 
“ Why!”
Mulder looked to Scully for help in answering, but she just shook her 
head. “You can’t do that Mulder.” She said. “ You have to be able to 
tell him why he’s being arrested. If there’s no reason, you’ve got no 
right.” 
Mulder looked disappointed. He took off the handcuffs, and decided to 
question the man. “ Am I right in thinking that your company is 
sending subliminal messages into the homes of residents in this area, 
and luring them into your restaurant?” 
The man didn’t look shocked at all. “Yes, actually we are. It’s a new 
advertising technique, what do you think?” 
“ You can’t do that!” Mulder wailed. 
“ Sure we can!” replied the man, “the law gives us the right to free 
press! We can advertise any way we want to!” Once again, Mulder 
looked disappointed. He sighed, and left the room, thanking the man 
for his time. Scully followed. “ Sorry it didn’t work out Mulder.” There 
was a moment of silence, then she spoke again. “ So are you going to 
buy me lunch or what? I’m really in the mood for a McDondie’s 
milkshake!” 
“What gives you the right to my money?!” 
“ Well, technically nothing. But people have rights other than those 
specified by the Constitution, and as I see it, I’ve earned the right to 
take you for every penny you have! You know, I could have gotten to 
level sixty on Space Blasters 3 this morning if you hadn’t forced me to 
come all the way out to California to investigate hamburgers! You owe 
me buddy!” 
Space Blasters 3 was really Mulder’s computer game which he played 
when he thought no one was watching - besides, it looked like he was 
doing serious paperwork when he was on a high level and 
concentrating really hard. He wondered, for a second, how Scully had 
managed to get close to level sixty, when the best he had ever done was 
twenty-nine. “Alright fine,” he said, “ as long as you tell me how to get 
past the asteroids on level twenty-nine.” “Deal.” 
And so, over paper-thin napkins and a Mega-sized Pepso-Coli, Mulder 
and Scully sat and contemplated how exactly to get back to D.C, with 
no return tickets. 

The End.