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That evening, after one of her therapy sessions, Emily waited outside the hospital doors. It was growing dark. She could tell because a coldness had settled over the town, the same coldness that came every night. She held her cane tightly in her hands. She felt safe to have it with her. Blindness left her vulnerable; this was her only defense.
Time slowly passed and thoughts filled her mind, thoughts of the afternoon's events. That afternoon at the mansion, Jason had sounded so violent - and AJ so eerily calm. Secrets weren't new in the Quartermaine family, but there was something going on, something big, something dangerous. And she knew that someone was going to get hurt.
Trying to empty her mind from these thoughts, she shook her head. She wondered where Reginald was and wrapped her coat tighter around her body. It was right after deciding to wait inside that she heard his voice. Emily froze, unsure if she had actually heard him or if it was just her imagination. But he said her name again, and Emily turned around to face him.
''Hi Nikolas'', she said softly. ''How are you doing?''
The boy stared at her, his eyes shifting from the cane she held to the dark sunglasses she wore. As if reading his thoughts, Emily reached up.
''Is it dark yet?'' she asked.
Nikolas nodded and she looked at him expectantly.
''Yes.'' he said.
Emily nodded and pulled off the glasses. He had forgotten what her eyes looked like, the deep, rich brown. He had forgotten how he oculd see all of her emotions in them, had forgotten how they sparkled with life. There was no reminder on the latter, for there was no longer a shine. But her emotions he could still read: frustration, hopelessness, despair...
''I saw your uncle.'' her voice took him away from his thoughts. ''He came over to talk to me; wanting me to talk to you. I always wanted to call, but...'' her thoughts trailed off as he stood silent. ''How's your leg?'' she tried again.
''It's fine.'' He was still staring at her, still staring at the cane. Did she blame him like everyone else did? Like he blamed himself? She had said that she wanted to call - but what? Was the only reason she was attempting conversation with him because his uncle asked her to? He wanted to be furious, but all he felt was numb. She sounded so sincere, but he couldn't help asking himself if that was the way she really felt.
The same confusing thoughts created a web in Emily's mind. She wanted to talk to him, not because Stefan Cassadine asked her too, but because she wanted a friend. She couldn't understand why he was being so hostile. She needed someone, needed him. She didn't blame him, didn't he know that already, didn't he-
''Nik -'' she began to explain, but he cut her off.
''My uncle is waiting for me. Take care, Emily.''
She heard his footsteps as he walked away, heard the automatic doors open and close at his entrance to the building. A car pulled up in front of her and a window rolled down.
''Emily, it's Reginald.'' Getting out, the man helped Emily into the automobile.
As the limo pulled away, Nikolas walked back outside and watched - his heart full of sorrow and regret.
The man stepped out of the elevator, fury reaching its peaking point inside of him. How dare he! He kept thinking. That son of a - His jaw clenched as he turned the corner, and he fought off the urge for violent, physical contact. The bodyguard at the door stepped closer to the wall and he hesitated in speaking as Jason reached for the doorknob.
''Mr. Corinthos has visitors Mr. Morgan.''
Jason turned. ''What?''
The bodyguard cleared his throat, not comfortable with seeing the man so angered.
''He has company. I'm not sure if he would want to see you now - at this moment.''
Jason walked over and stared at the man. Standing at 6'4'' and very well built, the bodyguard could have easily placed fear in someone's eyes. But not in Jason's and for the first time in his career, it was his turn to grow nervous. He shifted uncomfortably as Jason asked,
''Are you new?''
His voice was an eerie calm and the man's palms began to grow clammy.
''Yes sir.''
''How many days have you been on the job?''
''Two days, sir.''
Jason nodded. ''Two days, huh?''
The bodyguard began to relax and he shook his head in affirmation. Jason nodded once more as he repeated, ''two days...'' He turned back towards the Penthouse door. ''You're fired.''
Behind him, the man's jaw dropped.
The woman took off her glasses and leaned across the table. ''His father will no doubt object, but if you are willing to take full responsibility for this boy, then I'm sure we can petition temporary custody while he stays in Port Charles. Full responsibility, Sonny.'' She emphasized. ''You're going to have to protect him.''
Sonny Corinthos sighed and looked towards the ceiling. ''I want Juan in my life, Alexis. I couldn't protect Lily, but I will damn well protect her son.''
They were speaking softly enough, but across the room, the boy looked up. ''I can handle myself, you know.''
The two adults looked up. Alexis stopped her client before he said a word and replied, ''this isn't about being able to handle yourself, Juan.''
''Of course it is.'' He walked over. ''I handled myself for seventeen years, I don't need anyone now.''
The man at the table ran a hand over his eyes in a gesture of annoyance. ''Juan-''
''What happened Sonny? Two months ago when I came here, you didn't want me around. What, do you think you owe it to me? You owe it to Lily?''
The two men, alike in so many ways, stared at each other, but neither could reply. The occupents of the Penthouse looked up in surprise as the door opened.
''Call Johnny to guard your door.'' The man threw his jacket roughly onto the chair.
Sonny blinked. ''What happened to Ken?''
''I fired him.''
Alexis turned to the man in surprise, but Sonny shook his head slightly. ''If you two would excuse us...'' he let his voice trail off as he moved towards the dry sink and gestured towards the door.
''This isn't finished.'' Juan said angrily.
Sonny only nodded. ''It is now.''
His lawyer quickly ushered the boy out, and only after he heard the click of the door closing did he pour his drink.
''You went to see AJ didn't you?''
''I had to.''
''You didn't have to Jason.'' The man whirled around. ''I told you specifically not to do anything rash, but you immediately betrayed that order.''
''He has the papers, Sonny. I know that it was AJ who broke into the warehouse.''
''Do you know what you did by going over there, Jason? You confirmed that there were papers connecting us to Moreno's death and now, and only now, will he use that. I told you not to go over there!''
''He was going to use it no matter what!'' Jason fired back. ''Unless we find them, AJ will use those papers to bring us down.''
Sonny sighed as he set down his glass and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. ''Well then I propose we get that file back before he can.''
Carly groaned as she slammed shut the dresser drawer and glanced around. She had searched every inch of this room, what other hiding place was there? Sitting on the bed, she ran a hand through her blonde hair and looked the place over once more. She had checked the dressers, the closets, underneath the cushions...Where was this mysterious file?
Before she had warnng, the door flew open. Her husband stared at her in surprise.
''Well, this is quite a switch. What are you doing in here, Carly?''
She plastered a smile on her face and leaned back, successfully wiping any trace of guilt off her face. ''Waiting for you.''
AJ paused as he took off his blazer and watched her.
''I don't have time for your games, I have to get to the office. Now tell me what you're after or get out.''
''I'm running low on cash,'' she said hurridly, ''and I wanted to go shopping for some things.''
AJ sneered at her. ''You went shopping yesterday.''
''For Michael.'' She added quickly.
The man sighed. ''In the study. Take what you want.''
Before Carly could reply, he left the room. With a roll of her eyes, she sauntered down the hallway to the study and stepped inside. Taking a seat at the desk, she opened the top drawer and counted out the cash. Just as she was about to shut it, her eyes shifted to the other drawers. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously and she reached down. Two of the drawers slid out smoothly, the bottom one was locked. Carly leaned back and stared at the drawer.
''What are you hiding, AJ?'' She muttered. ''What dangerous game are you playing?''
Juan paced outside the penthouse door mumbling to himself. Why can't Sonny just trust him? Juan looked back at the door wondering what Jason and Sonny were talking about, knowing that he should be the one helping Sonny, working with him. He crossed his arms over his chest and began to bite his nails, Sonny owed him! He glanced back over at the door when he heard the sound of glass breaking; he rushed over to the door,
"Sonny! What Happe-" Juan was cut off when the arms of a large bodyguard wrapped around his body, "Hey, let me go!" Juan struggled against Johnny, but he realized it was no use and went limp, "Can you just go make sure Sonny is ok?" Juan finally asked in complete embarrassment.
Johnny let go of Juan and knocked lightly on the penthouse door before opening it, "Everything ok in here, Mr.Corinthos?" He jumped back as a vase came flying his way and Johnny was quick to close the door as fast as possible.
Johnny cleared his throat, "Uh, Yeah, Mr. Corinthos seems alright." He said, fidgeting with his jacket.
Juan walked back towards the elevator, deciding he needed some fresh air, as he entered the elevator his mind wandered. What could he do? What would make him more important than Jason? What could he do…and what was he willing to do?
Jason sat down on Sonny's couch and replayed the events over to Sonny, AJ admitting he had the files connecting them to Moreno and AJ telling him he would turn him in at any time.
"…There just isn't anything I could do at that time, Sonny. He was holding all the cards, and still is, but we can change that."
Sonny bolted off the couch and began pacing the room, "What Jason?! What can we do, you said it yourself, he holds ALL the cards! GOD DAMMIT-!" In one swoop Sonny had whipped his hand over his table and the glasses and bottles went flying. He picked up a vase from the opposite table, aimed towards the door, and released.
Jason vaguely heard Johnny open the door, but it was quickly closed when the vase hit it. Jason stood up and walked over to Sonny and put a hand on his shoulder. "Sonny, this won't solve anything, now just come sit down."
He led Sonny to the couch and they sat for a while neither speaking until Sonny cleared his throat and began, "OK, we have to have a plan, something just as bad as what AJ has on us…" As the plan came together in Sonny's head he quickly walked from the couch to the his desk, got out a sheet of paper and scribbled something down while continuing to talk, "…if we get something on him, we can trade, He has the papers correcting us to Moreno, correct?" Sonny asked looking to Jason waiting for conformation he already had, when Jason nodded he continued, "So all we have to do is get something on AJ...or we could just get rid of him."
At that Jason's head popped up and he sat very still, thinking about it. After several minutes of him thinking he looked at Sonny and said, "As of right now, that it not an option, but if we are unable to get something on him…" Jason trailed off, knowing Sonny got the picture. As much as he hated AJ, he couldn't do that, not while he had other options, it would kill Emily and Lila.
"So…" Jason began, looking at the paper in Sonny's hand trying to see what it said. "Oh, right, here" he handed Jason the paper and walked over to the phone, As Jason read the paper Sonny continued, "that is the name of the best private detective on the East coast, anything AJ did, from stealing a pack of gum at the local grocery store to illegal deals we will know about." Jason handed Sonny the paper back, pleased with his idea, but not positive it would work, whatever AJ might have done would be covered up, so much so one of the best private detectives in the world might not even be able to find anything.
Sonny saw the look on Jason's face and asked, "What's the matter? We'll find something, ok?"
"I don't think it will be that easy, Sonny" Sonny studied Jason's face, why would it be that hard? "Listen Jason, AJ's an idiot, he's not smart enough to cover-up anything." Jason walked over to the window and peered out, thinking, trying to think of a way to explain it to Sonny, "It's just that, if AJ did something, it wouldn't be at the office, he wouldn't leave a paper trial, and he wouldn't run the risk of doing anything grandfather could find out about, so all the obvious places are out." He turned around and faced Sonny, "Whatever he may have done might not be as easy to find as you think, we need someone inside…to listen to phone calls, catch meetings being set up and anything else he might do."
Sonny's mind was already turning, thinking of the perfect person to help, Jason continued, "Monica might do it, but that would pit her against Alan, and Emily needs her parents together, hmmm…"
"What about Ned?" Sonny added.
"Well-," Jason began, but Sonny interrupted,
"He does hate AJ enough, but he also hates us, and I don't think trusting someone who thinks of you and I as the scum of the earth, after AJ of course, to gather sensitive documents that could put you or me in jail is the best idea."
Jason closed his eyes and tried to think of someone, he had her in the back of his mind the whole time, but didn't want to say anything knowing that Sonny would have a fit, but they were out of ideas so he might as well run this one by him he thought. "Well,…what about Carly?"
Sonny stopped dead in his tracks and turned back to Jason, the look of bewilderment on his face, not believing Jason had just suggested that, "ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Sonny screamed, "you want us to trust Carly…TRUST CARLY? I would rather trust Edward than Carly" he turned towards the couch, ran a hand through his hair and mumbled, "Hell, I'd rather trust Moreno."
"Fine!" Jason said, throwing his hands up, "Then we'll just have to hope this detective finds something because obviously there is no one else." Jason grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door, when Sonny realized he had no choice to bring up the person he had originally thought of, no matter how much Jason hated it. He closed his eyes, took a breath and said loudly, stopping Jason in his tracks,
"What about Emily?"
Emily walked along the docks trying to forget her latest encounter with Nikolas. They were always so awkward and uncomfortable. Neither Nikolas nor she ever knew what to say, like the four years of friendship meant nothing, and they were merely strangers commenting on the weather. A tear slid down her cheek as she thought of all the times Nikolas and her had spent together. It was such a waste, the time spent with Nikolas, with everyone for that matter, if it was going to end up like this. Emily thought back to her mother, she now knew how it must have felt. To have so many people around you, helping you, wanting and waiting to help and it not making any difference. The more people around the more alone she felt.
I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
But I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
She reached out her hand to feel for the bench and guided herself towards it. She always loved the docks; there was something so calming about looking at the water. Now even that was taken away from her. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, although she couldn't see, she had the image of Spoon Island in her head. What it would look like right now, as if she could see it as clearly as anyone walking by. The enormous boulders, one on top of the other creating huge cliffs, her mind drifted back to the night Nikolas had taken her up to one of them. She was fifteen then and more in love with Nikolas than she thought possible. The night was so beautiful, it was so clear and you could see every star in the sky, glowing, like they were put there just for her. It was a night right out of one her dreams, the dreams of a fifteen year old girl waiting for her prince to sweep her off her feet.
On a different day, if I was safe in my own skin,
Then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin
And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
She shook her head, trying desperately to clear her head of anything that had to do with Nikolas or the way she used to feel about him. She didn't love him anymore, she didn't feel anything for him…or so she told herself. She stood and reached for her cane, she felt along the side of the bench, where was it? She began to kneel thinking it must have fallen to the ground while she wasn't paying attention. She was just about to feel for it when she heard someone clear their throat. Her head snapped up and she already knew who it was. She stood up slowly and wiped the remains of the tears from her cheeks. When he made no move to speak, she began softly,
"Nikolas-"
I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again…
''Sonny, please tell me I didn't hear what I think I heard'' Jason stared at Sonny as if he had grown a second head, ''because if you are suggesting that Emily spy on AJ for us you must be completely insane.'' Sonny walked around the couch and stood in front of Jason, he sighed knowing Jason would be hard to convince about his,
''Listen Jason, I realize that pitting Emily against AJ doesn't seem like a good idea, but before you completely nix this idea, just hear me out, ok?'' Sonny stood waiting for Jason to tell him it was out of the question, but when he said nothing, Sonny knew his chance to convince him was now or never, he tried to think of as many good reasons as possible before he began, ''Ok, well first of all we already know that Emily and AJ have been on the outs since he took Michael, and she loves us, she loves both of us and I know that if she knew what AJ was planning on doing she would be the first person to offer us her help.'' Jason began to interrupt Sonny, but Sonny continued, ''Jason, I love Emily, ok? She's like a sister to me and I would never put her in danger-''
''But that's exactly what were doing!'' Jason exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air, ''By asking her to spy on AJ and all of his dirty dealings we are asking her to put herself in danger, and for what? For something a private detective should be doing?!''
Sonny walked to the table and poured himself a glass of whiskey and held one up for Jason, but Jason shook him off, ''Jason, we tried the detectives, we tried Benny, we tried everything, nothing is working we don't have a choice.''
Jason walked to Sonny and out his hand on his shoulder, ''We have a choice, Sonny. We can chose to fight our battles on our own and not involve my sister, it's not a good choice, but it's a choice, and of right now it's the only choice I'm willing to take.''
Sonny looked over his shoulder at Jason and knew there would be nothing that would change his mind, but there would also be nothing that would change his own. ''OK, Jason we'll think of something else, for now let's just continue paying that incompetent detective, or so he calls himself.'' With that Jason left the penthouse and as he watched him go he knew he had no choice as he picked up the phone.
Juan walked along the dark streets of Port Charles thinking of what he should do next. How could he get Jason out of Sonny's life and worm his way into Jason's place. What could he do that would drive a wedge between Jason and Sonny? As he stopped in from of a large house the idea, came to him, he knew exactly what he could do; he straightened his jacket and walked along the pathway towards the house, the Quartermaine house.
Inside my skin
There is this space
It twists and turns
It bleeds and aches
''Nikolas-'' Emily began softly.
She didn't know what to say he was staring at her she could tell. Nikolas had watched her, sitting on the docks earlier, so gorgeous and stunning, the reflection of the water lighting up her face and then he saw them, the tears. She was crying and he knew whybecause of him, because she was blind and it was his fault. He couldn't take it, couldn't stand it any longer, he had to do something, to stop her mind of thinking of the accident, and to stop her from hating him.
The air was thick around them, the only sound to be heard was their breathing, both afraid to say anything, both at a loss for words. What could they say to each other? What could they say to make everything all right? Nikolas looked down and realized he was still holding her cane, he reached out his hand and placed it in hers sending an electric shock down her spine. Emily thought it was over, she had spent everyday telling herself she was over Nikolas and she actually started to believe it, but this one touch, his hand brushing hers undid everything she had made herself believe.
Inside my heart
There's an empty room
It's waiting for lightening
It's waiting for you
Nikolas stared at their hands, it had been so long since they had had any contact and this was enough to make his heart want to explode. When he looked up he saw her looking at her hands also, nonot looking. Nikolas pulled his hand back quickly, no, she wasn't lookingbecause she couldn't. Emily was surprised, but she knew why he had pulled back, he was disgusted with her. Nikolas backed up, afraid to be near her, he couldn't stand it, just being near her was killing him. He had to leave.
I am wanting
I am needing you here
Inside the absence of fear
Nikolas began to walk away, he couldn't take it, being near her, touching her, it was like reminding him all over again, the way he used to feel for Emily. For so long she had been like a little sister, but that night, the night of the crash, he had danced with her and he had saw something in her eyes, something sensual, somethingunlike Emily. The night played over and over in his head, looking at her in the car on the way home, wondering why he had felt that way about her. He had been so busy thinking about that the hadn't paid enough attention to the road, and now, no matter how much he wanted to know why he felt that way about Emilyhe never would. She would never let him, at least that's what he told himself, but he knew it was because he would never let himself.
Muscle and sinew
Velvet and stone
This vessel is haunted
It creaks and moans
Emily listened to him walk away, anger beginning to boil in her. He was disgusted with her, she knew it! How dare he think of her like that?! She was sick of this, of people judging her because she couldn't see, of people talking about her like she wasn't there. It has been months, MONTHS and Nikolas had never even bothered to stop at her house and see how she was doing! He asked how she was but that was only when she they accidentally ran into each other. For the first time Emily felt anger, real anger against Nikolas, not for the accident, because that's what it was, an accident, but for his behavior after it! She had had it; he was going to know how she felt once and for all! She gripped her cane and walked towards the direction Nikolas had taken, she was going to make him listen to her if it took every ounce of strength she had! He had to know.
My bones call to you
In their separate skin
Make myself translucent
To let you in
Nikolas slowly walked towards Kelly's, he needed to talk, and he knew Elizabeth would be there. He had to talk to her. For months he had kept it inside, never talking to anyone no matter how many times Lucky and Stefan asked him too. Lucky practically dragged Nikolas to a therapist, but once he got there he just sat in the room, silent. He couldn't think of what to say, for sop long he could never put what he felt into words. The guilt, the pain, the humility, who could possibly understand how that felt. No one. Nikolas stopped in his tracks, there was someone, someone who understood and deserved to know how he felt. Nikolas whipped around and started back in the direction that he had just come.
I am wanting
I am needing you here
Inside the absence of fear
Emily was rounding the corner when she heard footsteps; they were coming her way. She didn't want to lose Nikolas, but she knew that someone who couldn't see, on the docks, at night, with a purse wasn't the safest place to be. When the footsteps continued to come closer she closed her hand tight around her cane and raised it above her head. As the person rounded the corner she held her breath and when she was positive he had passed her she lowered her cane. She turned around the corner and nearly jumped out of her skin when she ran straight into someone's chest. There was a moment of panic; she didn't know what to do, run? Scream? What? Maybe this person wasn't trying to mug her, maybe he just happened to be on the docks, with a million questions running through her head it took her a moment to realize the person was talking to herand who it was.
There is this hunger
This restlessness inside of me
It knows that you're no stranger
You're my gravity
''Emily, are you ok? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.''
Emily took a step back, but Nikolas continued to hold her shoulders. She took a long and much needed breath, ''No, I'm fine. Really.'' She was trying reassure him she was ok, but before she started to tell him it was ok, she remembered why she went after him the first place. With that in mind she jerked her shoulders back letting Nikolas's hands fall to his sides. At that moment he began to regret coming back to talk to her, it was obvious it wouldn't do any good.
My hands will adore you
Through all darkness aim
They will lay you out in
The moonlight and reinvent your name
Nikolas sighed and turned around to leave when Emily's voice stopped him, it sounded strong, not like she had been earlierit sounded determined, ''Enough running Nikolas, were going to talk NOW.''
For I am wanting
I am needing you here
I need you here
Inside the absence of fear
General Hospital's Friendship Forever