I got an email from my sister, "Amy," the other week. She read my website and thinks it's cool and funny. Let's see how funny she thinks it is now that I'm writing about her! After all in her letter, she asked if I'd be including 'vindictive vingnettes' about her.
Yup.
I bossed Amy around. I know I did. I was older and I always wanted to play games MY way. I was always the Indian and Amy the cowboy. I always had the lead. Now I think Amy has the lead simply because I know she can beat the bejeezus out of me!
Amy's always been very creative. Lying, for example. And art. Or lying and art. When Amy was little, she lied about everything! (At least that's how I remember it, Amy!) Anything you asked her, she either pretended not to know the answer, or she flat out lied. Even little, even before she could communicate well, she was sneaky. Like the time when she drew on the wall. In crayon. Behind the curtains in the living room. She signed my initial, 'M,' in big strokes right next to her Picasso-inspired scribble. Guess who got in trouble before the handwriting expert finally named the true culprit?
Most kids have invisible friends. Normal. Amy had invisible monkeys. O-k-a-y.
She's very impulsive and crazy, too. I admire that, I really do. I wouldn't do all the things that Amy's done, however. . . . My mom and I returned home one day to find Amy standing in the driveway. She must've been about six or younger. We got out of the car and walked over to her. She looked pleased with herself. She smiled as we approached, showing off her pearly blue teeth. Blue!?! Magic marker. I think my mom rushed her to the dentist for fear it'd be permanent.
When we were little, Amy let me, no, encouraged me to smear peanutbutter all over her face. And she laughed herself silly the entire time.
Another spectacular moment came years later. I was hanging out with my older brother and his friends at that point. I guess I felt it was more cool than spending time with my little sister. Me, Matt, and his friend were walking down the hallway to Matt's room. Amy suddenly leaped out into the hallway. Stark naked. Her cape-like towel hinted at her true identity - "Amy, the Naked Wonder Girl!"